Elroy lost it

So Monday my human was off. Which meant extra long morning walks.  The FG went first.  He has the smallest bladder.  Mind you maybe not when you look at the size of him.  Anyway, he was wearing his trusty “Freedom” harness.  Which I have talked about before.  He walks quite nicely with that harness – it has been a miracle. However, sometimes miracles come to an end…

So when they headed out at the crack of dawn it was still not fully light out – the sun wasn’t all the way up.  AND, as often happens at this time of the year, the driveway had a THIN coat of misty ice on it.  Which obviously can be slippery.  Now my human is EXTRA cautious in such conditions – remember the broken wrist two years ago.  So she walked along slowly, and the FG was walking just great with his harness.  Once they got up to the road, the walking was actually easier – so off they went.  They took the trail through the woods and then decided to go for a walk on the golf course.  And that’s when all heck broke loose.  Suddenly, the FG decided that he wanted freedom from the Freedom harness.  So he started biting his leash.  And pulling on his leash.  My human instructed him to stop and gave him a treat.  After which he started again.  And again.  And AGAIN.  My human could NOT walk two feet without him yanking and biting on the leash.  She could instruct him to sit – which he would do, she would give him a treat and say “let’s go”, and the biting again began.  He was leaping and spinning – like some kind of strange circus routine.  Gone bad.  And THEN he decided he WANTED her mittens.  Honestly – it was like he was possessed. My human just stood there, exasperated and not sure how to move.  It was a LONG slow walk home.  Stop.  Sit. Treat.  Step. Walk. Sit.  Treat.   They finally got back to our driveway and my human breathed a sigh of relief.  But the best was yet to come.  You see, the FG gets to carry the newspaper to the house every day.  And keep in mind that he was STILL feeling possessed.  AND the driveway was still slippery.  So here he is – flipping the paper in the air,  sliding to get it, while my human is walking on the gravel along the side of the driveway.  He had never flipped that paper the way he did that day. Grab. Toss. Slide.  Grab.  Shake. Toss.  Slide.   With a woman who was moving like she had lead shoes.

By the time she got back to the house, she looked at Frodo and I and said “You HAVE to be good.”  And of course WE were.  Even posing to take photos.  

Who would ever have believed we would see the day when I’M the good dog?!  Maybe it’s a new miracle….

Have a good one!

The Dog Tree

Well – the dog tree is up.  Yes.  We have a dog tree.  Among other trees.  This one has all dog ornaments.  It has dog leashes from the dreaded Dollar Store for garland, and it is also bedecked in dog show ribbons.  My human has a big box of ribbons – but these are just a few – from Frodo, me and some of the dogs who came before us.  The FG doesn’t have any ribbons.  Yet.

The dog tree started as a little tree that my human would cut on our property.  A Charlie Brown type tree.  But as the collection grew, the Charlie Brown trees couldn’t hold the ornaments – so the artificial tree is now used.  We have ornaments for lots of different breeds – we don’t discriminate.  But we didn’t have a Picard before – so you KNOW my human had to get one this year.  

So we are all on the tree.  

The only thing that would complete the dog tree would be if one of us peed on it.  But something tells me that may not be a bright idea.  Besides, if we are going to pee on a tree, might as well wait until she gets the real one.  Probably next weekend.  So that means another weekend of being sequestered for periods of time while she lugs boxes into the DFZ.  I’m the lucky one who was able to get into the DFZ to take the photo.  And the first thing I did?  Tried to pull that terrier off the tree.  And trust me – if I get in the DFZ – he’s coming down.

Time to get back my Santa letter(s).  ‘Tis the season!  Stay tuned!

Weather. And Asian pears.

It has begun.  We got our first taste of winter weather yesterday.  My human thought it odd that we allowed her to sleep in until ALMOST 7 AM.  And when she got up – she realized why.  There was a cold, wet snow coming down.  The heavy wet kind that that is actually good for making snowmen – but that’s about it.

When the FG saw the stuff his brain exploded.  WHAT the heck was THIS???  My human couldn’t get a photo – as her phone would have gotten all wet – so she just watched the sense of amazement on the FG’s face.  They went for a walk and he came back in, wet but energized.

As opposed to the Polish Lowland Fair Weather Dogs.  My human opened the door, Frodo took one look and put on the brakes.  I wasn’t THAT bad.  But I could hear Frodo grumbling something about spending winters in Florida.  He walked as if he was 693 years old.  In dog years.  And of course, he refused to poop.  I did MY thing, but Frodo needed an extra long walk – which only made him even MORE grumpy.  When he FINALLY made his deposit, he shook himself off and THEN happily trotted back to the house.

So if the snow wasn’t enough of a novelty for the FG, my human had to add something ELSE new.  She hadn’t done our grocery shopping yet, and we were out of bananas.  So she gave us pieces of Asian pear.  A new treat.  Which meant he had to do the chew and spit routine.  It took him forever to eat it.  While Frodo and I munched away.

She has begun the marathon Christmas decorating explosion.  Which mean the DFZ (dog free zone) will be well secured so no one can take ornaments off the tree and destroy them.  Like last year…

Tis the season!  Enjoy!


Presidential pets….

So I think someone from the Washington Post must be reading my blog.  Remember how I’ve been saying that President-Elect Trump should get a dog?  Well – they said the same thing!!  It appears that this is the first time in 150 years that the President will not have some type of pet.  I’ve talked before about the variety of pets that have been owned by Presidents – even back to George Washington – who had dogs, horses, a donkey and a parrot.  There have been more unusual pets -like Thomas Jefferson’s bear cubs, John Adam’s alligator, Benjamin Harrison’s opossums, Teddy Roosevelt’s pig, garter snake and hyena, Calvin Coolidge’s pygmy hippopotamus and raccoons.  Coolidge and Roosevelt seemed to have the longest lists of pets.  In more recent times, the typical pets were dogs and cats.

If Trump WERE to get a pet, I’m not sure what I would pick for him. If it was a cat…hmmmm…..what kind of cat is Grumpy Cat?  There IS a resemblance there – and they do say that pets look like the humans they own..  Google Grumpy Cat and you’ll see what I mean…

As for a dog breed.  Geez – I have to be extra careful with this one.  But if looking for resemblance – Chinese Crested wins hands down.  The hair does it.  Can’t you just see the President-Elect walking one around the grounds of the White House?!  Those Belgian Malinois security dogs wouldn’t know WHAT to do.  They would have to build a wall just to keep the Crested protected…

It’s Sunday – time to get my human moving.  Have a great one!

We refuse to smile.

Well. It’s that time of year.  The Halloween costumes have been put in storage, and we KNOW what comes next.  Thankfully, we didn‘t dress as turkeys or pilgrims for the US Thanksgiving.  But you KNOW what she is going to drag out.  Those dreaded antlers.  And if that’s not bad enough – she went to the Dollar Store the other day

She attempted to take some preliminary holiday photos on Monday.  Let’s just put it this way, Elroy IS Paxton reincarnated.  Paxton detested holiday photo shoots.  My human had to do everything she could to get his attention.  And guess who is following in his pawprints?  My human didn’t even TRY to put holiday attire on him.  It was no use.  Frodo and I sat like stuffed toys while the FG raced around the yard like a deflated Jolly Ball.  Here is a photo of us watching him race by…. 

Frodo and I posed.  But we refused to smile.  And no matter how hard she tried, my human could NOT get us to smile.  We preferred the serious holiday pose.  Truth be told – we just didn’t FEEL like posing.  She didn’t have exciting treats, and hey – if the FG didn’t have to stay still, why did we?  The first photo you see is without holiday attire – during a RARE stationary moment with the FG.  It didn’t last long. I think my human managed to get two shots with the three of us that were not blurry.  Here are a few bloopers courtesy of guess who.

After she finally gave up, we headed back to go in the house.  And Frodo and I BOTH displayed our feelings about having holiday photo shoots with crappy treats – we peed on the Christmas floral display my human had arranged by the front door.  “Hey” – she shouted at Frodo.  “Don’t pee there!!!”  At which point I walked over and did the same thing.  

That’s what she gets for starting this puparazzi routine before December.  I suppose I had better be careful though – I soon have to start my letter – make that LETTER-S to Santa, and we all know about this naughty and nice thing.  Time to start making nice.  This is going to be difficult…

Thank goodness…

Today is a day of thanks in the US.  A day to be happy and grateful.  Unless you are a turkey.  Did you know more than 46 MILLION turkeys will be eaten today?! And the average weight of one of those birds is 15 lbs.  One source said that the largest turkey ever raised was 86 lbs.  That’s more than me and Frodo put together.  Turkeys can supposedly see movement at 100 yards away and while wild turkeys can run 20 MPH, it’s obviously not fast enough to get away on Thanksgiving.  We dogs can eat turkey – but keep the helping light and hold the gravy -or we COULD end up with stomach upset.

There are dogs that hunt for turkeys.  Apparently the dogs go in and break up a flock of turkeys, giving the hunter the chance to call and shoot one of them.  While some spaniels are trained for this type of hunting there is some breed called an Appalachian turkey dog- which is a mix of an English pointer, English setter and plot hound and they are specifically bred for turkey hunting.  Better them than me.

So today is the big day.  Of course, I have much to be thankful for…like a home and a bed and full dog food bowl and fresh water and treats and toys and bunnies to chase and of course my blog!  But the two biggest things I’m thankful for today?  That I’m not a turkey AND that they don’t sell turkey suits at the Dollar Store.  

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American family and friends!  Have a good one!

Cheers to ears!

We have lift off!  It looks like the FG’s ears are up again.  THANK goodness. The suspense was killing me.

He had the funny looking antennae ears for over a week.  The tape came off a bit early because he REALLY didn’t care for them while my human was away.  But he went to the Vet again for a re-check and now he just has to exercise his ears to keep those muscles strong – and to keep those ears up! So the Vet told my human she would have to make all kinds of funny sounds and noises – so he will pick up his ears.  I can JUST imagine what this place is going to sound like.  Because you KNOW – Frodo and I will bark if she makes odd sounds.  Well, Frodo anyway.  I should audio record “a day in the life.”

I still think his ears look too big for his head.   But if he grows any more – I’m really in trouble.  My human DID get to see me semi-play with the FG yesterday.  It all started because I had an unsightly case of the cling-ons – and my human needed to wash my butt in the tub.  Sorry for the description – but heck, you are most likely dog people and you are well aware that poop happens.  Anyway, when I came in from the garage – with my wet butt – I went CRAZY running around.  Which got the FG all excited.  We played a game of chase and attack under the dining room table.  The FG is VERY submissive when it comes to me – which I guess is fine.  Anyway, I did stop from our “attack and run mode” to lick his ears for a few seconds.  All under the watchful eyes of my human.  She wants very much for us to get along – and I do think we are getting there. 

Well time to start working on my letters.  Have a great day and cheers to ears!

Life IS a ball…

So on Saturday, my human got home.  Our dog sitter had left about an hour before my human got back because she had an appointment. She made arrangements with my human to stop by on Sunday to pick up her danger pay.  

When she popped in, she mentioned that on Saturday night, she was dog sitting for a Newfoundland dog.  As she remarked how QUIET and low key he was.  On a scale of 1-10 for energy and excitability, she said he was a “one.”  And then she just looked at us.  And said WE were a BIT higher than that.  Whatever do you think she meant?!  I’m low key.  And so are Frodo and Elroy.  When we are asleep.  Which is rare, mind you…No doubt we have earned a special place in her journal of dog sitting experiences…

And speaking of experiences…my human was at it again.  Remember the giant exercise ball?  The one that Elroy adored.  Until he deflated it by biting it?  Well, her royal genius HAD to get another big ball for him.  THIS time, she got a ball that can be used for horses.  AND she bought a protective covering for it.  So it would be LESS likely to be ripped.  In theory. 

So she gets the thing in the mail and it comes with this little foot pump.  Pump is a bit of a misnomer- it’s like a little plastic accordion – and it has a little plastic hose that is SUPPOSED to attache SOMEHOW to the ball.  After repeated attempts to keep the thing attached and after repeated foot stomping, the ball was less than 1/100th full.  And every time my human squeezed the “pump” – Frodo barked like crazy.  And Elroy jumped around – interested but not so sure about this thing that was blowing air.  Ever so slowly.  So then my human got the idea to try one of her bicycle pumps.  Sounds like a good idea, but the ball would still not stay attached.  So THEN, she decided to try our dog blow dryer.  The one with the jet engine.  The one that could blow a chihuahua 50 feet off a grooming table.  So she took the ball into the garage – while Frodo continued to bark.  And Elroy continued to jump around.  And I just watched the circus.  Well.  Let me tell you that when my human held that ball up to the rocket blower, that ball filled up in .07 seconds.  Magic.  And she quickly stopped for fear of causing the thing to explode.  Wouldn’t THAT have been a sight?  So she comes in from the garage all proud of herself.  Elroy has now figured out it is another giant ball – so his BRAIN explodes.  But before he can play with it, my human has to put on the protective covering.  Dum da dum dum.  For SOME reason, she thought the thing would have like a huge zipper in it.  And she would wrap it around the ball.  BUT – she NOW opens THAT package and discovers that the hole is small.  Like 6 inches wide.  NOW she reads the instructions – which indicate that the DEFLATED ball goes in the covering FIRST and THEN you inflate it.  Genius I tell ya.  Sheer genius.  So NOW she has to take the peg out, and deflate the ball.  While Frodo barks.  And Elroy jumps around. Deflating the thing took a whole lot longer than inflating it with the dryer.  While Frodo barks.  And Elroy jumps around.  

Once it was fully deflated, she again took it into the garage and used the dryer.  And voila – the thing was filled and ready for play.  Elroy pushed it around and barked at it.  Here’s a very short video of him beginning to play with it.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BZMqm3FZ20

I still think that if he gets REALLY excited about playing with it, we COULD hear that familiar deflation sound.  Wonder what else we could put under that protective cover….

My human and her “ideas.”  Good thing we love her.   She is a never ending source of entertainment.  Hey – kind of like me!  Let’s face it – in our house, life IS a ball!

Have a good one!

And in the news….

Time for some news from the world of dogs.  Here’s a bad news – good news story.  It seems that in Idaho, a police dog was shot in the line of duty.  That’s the bad news.  The good news – because two dogs donated blood,  the police dog was able to undergo surgery and it looks like he is going to be OK.  Tail wags for a Golden Retriever and a Pit Bull who donated.  What a good idea!

There’s this strange new thing that humans are doing called a Mannequin challenge.  They basically create a “freeze frame” and don’t move.  And then someone videotapes them acting frozen.  Why?  I don’t know.  It’s something to do.  Go figure.  You know I always say humans are strange.  More evidence… In this particular example, it was not the HUMANS who were remarkable – it was the DOG.  Check it out!    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3938290/Did-hit-paws-DOG-steals-unexpected-twist-mannequin-challenge.html#v-7528258348751734128

Let me be perfectly clear on this one – there is not a CHANCE that you will catch the three dogs in THIS household in a Mannequin Challenge.  Do you have ANY idea how hard it is JUST to get us to stay still for .6 seconds to take a photo?  Yeah – no Mannequin Challenges happening here!

And finally, former President George Bush and his wife Laura are the proud owners of a new puppy.  In the past they were owned by two Scottish terriers – one of whom bit a member of the Press Corps.  Oopsie.  Their new canine kid, whose name is Freddy came from a shelter.  It seems the Bushes visited an Animal Care center to thank them for their work – and voila – they fell in love.  No matter what you think of George – I always say any President who has a dog can’t be ALL bad. Perhaps the President -Elect might want to pay a visit to that shelter too….

Have a good one!!!

She is back. And the sitter survived.

So my human is back.  And there was much rejoicing when she came in.  Not that we didn’t love Nicole – she was awesome – but of course we are happy to have our human home.

And it’s not EXACTLY like Nicole had an easy couple of days….For one thing, it started raining the moment my human left.  And never stopped.  So.  That cut our walks short.  She tried to brush Frodo and me because, as she said, we were looking like a couple of Trolls with the damp weather. It was a futile battle.

And then we had the whole Paxton thing…

We keep referring to the fact that Elroy has so many Paxisms. It’s like the goofy Bernese has returned – in the shape of a goofy Picard.  Unfortunately, one of Paxton’s behaviours returned – and it wasn’t so cute and goofy.  You see, whenever my human would go away, even though Pax LOVED our sitter and he was completely unstressed in his outward appearance, his innards were not so unstressed.  So he routinely got the poops.  So you guessed it.  Elroy got the poops.  He was FINE in every other way – but he required some extra walks  in the middle of the night. 

But despite that, Nicole said we were VERY good – and she wouldn’t hesitate to look after us again.  I think my human must have paid her some danger pay…

My human brought us some special treats as guilt gifts – but unfortunately we haven’t sampled them yet!!!! She didn’t want to give Elroy anything that could further upset his digestion- and she didn’t want to give us the treats in front of him.  I think she takes this fairness thing a bit TOO far sometimes.  But I’m sure we’ll be having those treats soon enough.

So all is back to normal in our home again.  She hasn’t seen me play with Elroy yet – but Nicole had photo evidence to prove that it DID happen.  I’m just playing it cool for now.  I mean we are all a BIT ticked off that she didn’t take us with her – so after our initial showering of kisses and mad leaping and jumping, we are all actually being a bit cool.  Except Frodo.  He just stands and barks at my human.  He’s basically telling her off. 

I think she will have to take us for SOME EXTRA walks today and she better get her throwing arm ready for those retrieving toys.  But you know of course, while we MAY look cool about her being back – inside our hearts are pretty darn happy. And we would have been that way – even without the guilt gifts!