Easter dangers….

Howdy blogaroos. Squirmy here to brighten your day and make you say “better her than me” – with reference to My Enforcer- and living with us three stooges.

If you’ve looked at the calendar, you know that Easter is right around the corner. But even though it’s a happy celebration, it can be a dangerous time for us dogs. This article reviews the things that are bad news for us dogs – describing everything from the dangers of chocolate (which we all pretty much know) to the dangers of hot cross buns (if they contain raisins they are toxic to us dogs) to the dangers of eating spring bulbs and fake grass.


But in all the dangers described, there is a BIG one missing. A huge one – and yet it is very common. And we dogs generally try to avoid it at all costs. I actually didn’t know about it – but the other guys warned me about it. Here I thought the dreaded Dollar store Christmas reindeer antlers were bad. But I think these are almost worse. You know what I’m talking about. The oh-so-festive rabbit ears.

I KNEW something was up when I was called into the garage/grooming torture palace. I was still relatively fluffy and clean, given that I just had a bath on Friday – so something seemed fishy. Imagine my shock when she pulled out the giant ears. My initial reaction was to protest.

But you KNOW I can’t resist treats – headband or no headband. So I agreed to a few shots. And THEN she pulls out some “props.”

What on EARTH was she thinking with big paper eggs?! I mean REALLY – me and PAPER eggs?! That cracked me up – pun intended. Get it? Eggs? Cracked me up? Never mind. Anyway, getting me not to shred them was QUITE the adventure….

Anyway, we just did round 1 of the photo shoots. I’ll save the good results for later. That’s all My Enforcer could endure for the day. We still have the other guys to shoot and then the infamous trio shots. Good luck with that. Better pull out some sirloin steaks for those photos. AND a big bottle of wine for afterward. For her. Of course.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

A winner. And a good experiencer.

Hey hey hey blogaroos. Squirmy no-ribbons-for-you Wormy – here to tell you all about my very first beauty pageant practice match. Well as The Boss would say, I got dumped. I doubt it had anything to do with the fact that I spun in circles when the judge tried to examine me and was a little bit shy. And I sat down when she tried to touch my orbs. But I quickly got over my shyness and I did attempt to ricochet off her on the diagonal. So, I was clearly happy. And I ran around like crazy. But my athletic prowess didn’t get me any ribbons. And there were no other PONs there. So needless to say, we didn’t get any Group ribbons.

BUT BUT BUT- MY GIRLFRIEND GENA WON THE WHOLE MATCH!!!!!!! So I got to travel with the winner! I KNEW she could win! She looked really pretty.

I think I brought her good luck. She has to take me along to all future shows as her good luck charm. I’m more fun than a rabbit foot.

Here’s a shot taken of me working the crowd during the Group judging. She had good treats! But I’m not sure that’s how you are supposed to be standing….

Here’s a shot that’s a bit better and looking more dog showish. Not a perfect pose but given that it’s hard for me to even keep my feet still, it’s not too bad.

My Enforcer said we need to practice more. Ya think? How’s a guy supposed to know what to do when he’s never even seen a dog show before? My Enforcer said she’s going to haul out old videos of Westminster and Crufts for me to watch. I think we should just watch the movie “Best in Show”. It’s a comedy – which is closer to how I approach most things.

So that’s my first intro to beauty pageants. I’m so happy for my girlfriend. I can’t wait to see her in a real show! And maybe if I practice more, I can go someday too!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

A beauty pageant match

Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy Wormy here. Or I should say CLEAN Squirmy Wormy. Because I had a bath yesterday! The first full spa treatment since Christmas. And you know why? I’m in a beauty pageant match today!!!! I don’t really know what that entails- but I think it’s when you run around as fast as you can chasing other dogs. And then you stand like a statue. I was going to pageant classes before I hurt my leg. And then I couldn’t go to classes because My Enforcer was wearing the splint thingy on her hand which I thought was like a Schutzhund sleeve when she would try to place my feet. So we couldn’t go to classes while she was recovering. So we haven’t had much practice lately…

We’re not really ready for a REAL show – but we can go to the match to see how unready we are. Anyway, I guess you have to be clean for a beauty pageant. So I had a bath. And when I was done, My Enforcer wanted to take pictures of me. But it was raining out. Plus it’s supposed to rain tomorrow too. I’m not sure what she has planned to keep me dry and fluffy.

Plus I’m going to the show with my girlfriend Gena. In fact, Gena came over to our spa to get a bath yesterday too! My Enforcer said Gena is well behaved. She didn’t require the pound of dog treats that I got while I was being groomed. Maybe I need to give her lessons….

Gena knows how to stand all pretty and she knows where her feet should go. I hope she wins a pretty ribbon because I have a crush on her. We’ll see what happens.

We had a thunder storm last night. I never heard one before! So when it started, I felt it was my duty to bark out a warning. My Enforcer told me that when she was little (back in the days of Caesar), she was told that thunder was angels bowling in heaven. Well they bowled some big strikes last night! But before it was even over, I was sleeping. All that grooming takes a lot of energy.

I just hope they don’t ask any hard questions in the beauty pageant today. Like “What’s your favorite food?” My response “ Everything.” “Who’s your role model?” “Cujo. No Frodo.” “What celebrity do you idolize?” “Cujo. No Lassie.” “Why did you decide to compete in this pageant?” “Good treats.” “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” “Eating treats whenever I want, training my human and living the good life. Kind of like my life right now!”

I’m sure I’ll require some fluffing and puffing before we go today. And something tells me that my walk this morning will be kinda short – so I don’t get TOO dirty. Good luck with that.

Anyway, I’ll let you know how Gena and I do. I wonder if you get points if you ricochet off the judge….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Imp 1. Guest 0.

Greetings blog readers. Frodo here for your reading pleasure today.

Today is the 25th of March and the birthday of the singer, Elton John. Apparently the celebrity is a huge animal lover and he has been owned by a number of dogs in his life. In 2018, he was saddened by the loss of his 14 year old Cocker Spaniel, Arthur. And reportedly, last summer during the pandemic, he decided to add not one but two pandemic puppies to his family. Two German Shepherds. Good for him and happy birthday. In this household, one pandemic puppy was quite enough. Speaking of whom, today is the imp’s 11th month birthday. Heaven help us all in living through to his first birthday. He is no doubt already sending out invitations to his party. The lad is in a continual state of frenzy and his middle name should be chaos.

Even yesterday, after a momentary state of what appeared to be sanity, he almost knocked out a guest…

Her Highness’ friend Marg came by to kindly help Her Highness with some garden work. Because Her Highness’ hand is still in recovery mode- and she really should not be doing heavy lifting or excessive actions with that hand, Marg came by to help dig up a section of a garden bed. The bed has been partly taken over by weeds and an overly obnoxious perennial. Even dog pee has not been effective at eradicating the unwanted plants. The top layer of soil needed to be removed along with the weeds, so that different plants can be put in that area. Again.

Marg was digging and Her Highness was emptying the wheelbarrow. Meanwhile, the imp and I were shouting out instructions from in the house. I finally gave up, but the imp felt it was his duty to share his opinion. Nonstop. Continually.

Finally Her Highness decided she would simply let him out so he could see Marg, and then perhaps he could stop proving his ongoing commentary.

Her Highness let him out and he went right to Marg. He shouted his greetings and then sat right next to her while she gave him a good pat on the head. He then decided he should lie down right where Marg was digging to supervise her work.

Her Highness instructed him to move and he ran off to roll in whatever remaining small snow piles that he could find. So all in all- he was very well behaved. When he began cruising the garage, looking to access the dog food bins, he was ushered back into the house.

When the work was finished, the gardeners came into the house for a snack and a beverage. And it is upon the entry of humans that the imp goes completely mad. He gets SO excited, he doesn’t know which way to turn. So he essentially turns every which way. And he leaps. Like a frog on fire. Her Highness opened the door and went to take the Coyote by the collar so he would not use the open door as an opportunity to go AWOL. Meanwhile, I was barking out my greeting to Marg. And JUST as Marg reached down to pet yours truly, the imp literally flew over me, clocking Marg right in the cheek with his head. Her Highness was mortified- it happened so quickly. And he had been SO well behaved outside. But, his multiple personality traits exploded and his Tasmanian Devil alter ego emerged. Thankfully, Marg left without any bruises but it was not a good thing to happen.

Her Highness was NOT amused, and the imp found himself sequestered in his crate. While we can laugh at his antics now, it REALLY is no laughing matter. He is officially entering sit-stay boot camp. He actually CAN sit and stay – but not when guests arrive. He will be doing some serious training – and willing participants who wish to help out will be compensated for their participation. But they won’t get to keep the armor. Should you wish to help out, contact Her Highness and bring a copy of your up to date health insurance. We are not joking…We can only hope with training AND maturity that he MAY begin to calm down. Personally, I’m skeptical.

That’s the latest imp story. He never fails to provide us with material. Now I must go on my constitutional. Alone. We all need respite from him for at least a few minutes every day. As they say, good thing he is cute….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

A digger. And another oopsie.

Howdy blogaroos- Squirmy here. And I’m SO excited!!!!! Because guess what?!!! Somebody has been bad – and for a change – it wasn’t me!!!!

So as you may recall, My Enforcer has these boxes where she plants her vegetables each spring. Actually, she plants plants and HOPES for vegetables. Last year I thought it was great fun running through those boxes. And digging too. And really, I didn’t do too much damage as her “crops” were pretty dismal looking – even before I came along. At the end of the season she pulled out the dead plants and covered the soil in black gardening fabric. She placed rocks around the edges to hold down the fabric. That was pretty funny – because she no sooner made these lovely beds, when I jumped in and went crazy digging – sending rocks and garden fabric flying. So she tried again – and this time put lawn chairs on top of the beds. And that seemed to do the trick all winter. But – it is now spring…..

And SOMEBODY has been digging in the boxes again. He moved the chairs enough to dig around the edges. And he’s been eating something. Who knows WHAT is so delectable? Maybe a few rotten tomatoes buried in the soil? Maybe a neighborhood cat has been leaving surprises? But we do know who the culprit is – because he was caught in the act. More than once!!! Yup. The “good dog.” In the photo you can see dirt on his chin – and even on his tongue! And since HE is into this digging thing, you KNOW I had to join in!! And guess what? Even the Coyote has been inspecting our excavation work.

My Enforcer realizes that if she plans to put in a garden this year, she is going to have to put a fence around those boxes. Like the kind that people use to keep deer out. Except this will be for dogs. The alternative is to move the boxes out of our fenced area. Somewhere closer to the woods maybe – where the bunnies can eat the crop. It’s a bit of a dilemma. Don’t worry – we’ll help her figure it out!

In other news, I had another Rally class the other night. The teacher said I did really well – it’s my human who generally messes us up. But I’ll keep working with her. Yeah- the teacher said I was good, but she missed the part where My Enforcer went to pick up my leash after she had left me to walk the course, and as she bent over to pick it up, I jumped up, smacked my head into her face and gave her a fat lip. Thank goodness for masks – because no one could see my latest oopsie. She’s been looking on Amazon for those metal full body armor suits like knights used to wear. If anyone knows where we can get one, let us know. It needs the full face shield….

OK. Time for my walk. Apparently, the geese have returned – and My Enforcer spotted them on the golf course. I’m so busy running like a squirrel with his tail on fire that I didn’t even notice them. My Enforcer THOUGHT about pointing them out – but because she doesn’t know what I would do, AND she knows geese can get kinda nasty, she’s figuring that’s not a super good idea. She’ll keep me far away.

OK. Gotta go!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Good news stories

Howdy doody Squirmy Wormettes. Spring is HERE!!! It started yesterday. Right after the snowstorm we had on Friday. But not to worry – those tulips will soon be sticking their little heads out of the ground – all ready to be peed upon. The forecast looks great the next few days – warm enough to melt the snow and make a plashy backyard. Mud baths here we come!!!

Oh! Oh! Guess who was a good boy AGAIN?! I’ll give you a clue – his name starts in “W” and ends in “no-no.” That would be ME!!! Well you know how I didn’t take off after the bunnies the other day? Well. The other morning we were walking on the golf course and had just crossed the public trail. When – out of nowhere- a DOG appeared! He was closely followed by his two humans. Well. I froze. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. He didn’t come over to me but basically ran around us and went back to his humans. Now yours truly was not on a leash either. And My Enforcer figured she would be chasing after me – because she was SURE I would go to check out the dog and his humans. But guess WHAT?! I didn’t go!!!! I was frozen for a minute, but when My Enforcer called, I came right to her. How’s THAT for a good boy?! I did keep watching where they went, but I came along with My Enforcer and she gave me a fistful of treats for being so good. See?! I CAN be good. Sometimes.

In other news, here in Nova Scotia we had a great story about a homeless dog. It seems that there was this dog that had been spotted in this town running loose- and nobody could catch her. Well the next thing you know, she was spotted on the ice in the middle of a lake. Numerous people came together to rescue her, including two guys who wore a special suits and went out in a canoe to get her. Long story short – no one came foward to claim her at the shelter after her adventure on the ice (although plenty of people wanted to adopt her). But don’t worry – in the end – she DID get adopted. She has gone to live with one of the men who rescued her! His family had lost their dog who died suddenly just a month ago – and were very sad about that loss. So seemingly out of nowhere, this dog appeared. She needed them. And they needed her….

If you’d like to see a short video about it, you can watch it here:


I really like that story. We need good news like that sometimes.

OK. Time to walk. And tonight I go to school again! Break out the cheese strings!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Seeking attention.

Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy here again!!!!! On a snowy March morning. Yup. Old Man Winter is still here. I’m not sure why humans say that. I didn’t see any old dude walking around our yard. And trust me, if I did see him, you would know about it! But he is apparently here- probably hiding in the woods.

The thing about snow at this time of the year is that it will be gone in days. At least that’s what they tell me. So it’s one of the few last days to hunker down with a good book by the fire. And totally relax. In some other house. Not in our house because I don’t believe in relaxation. So the image of My Enforcer with her feet up, lounging around for more than 10 minutes is a fairy tale. I keep her hopping. All the time. Even AFTER I’ve had my hour long walk. Which brings me to my lesson today, for other dogs about how to get attention during those rare times when humans try to watch TV, talk on the phone, read a book, do a puzzle, send an email …. you get it- all those stationary human activities. Allow me to inform you about how to keep your human moving. And really it’s for their health…

1. Pace. This is my all-time favorite- and a fairly new one for me. Just walk around. Aimlessly. Around the table. Into the kitchen. Down the hall. Around the table. To the door. Around the table…. Now most humans will watch this behavior and ASSUME that maybe you need to go out. So get all excited when they get up to let you out. And when they open the door, just stand there. Because the objective was not to go out- but to get them up. Mission accomplished.

2. Chew on something you are not supposed to chew on. Like a chair leg or a shoe or a carpet. Trust me – that gets them moving quickly. Mission accomplished.

3. Bark your fierce bark. The kind you use for delivery people, the oil guy or birds. Usually your human will think you are faking, but if you keep it up with great ferocity, it WILL get them up to check. Mission accomplished.

4. Harass a sibling. Start poking at another dog in the house. Or if you have a cat or gerbil, you can try it with them. Although I’m thinking that poking a cat could be dicey and you might squish a gerbil. Still – all of these actions are sure to get your human moving. Mission accomplished.

5. Obsessively lick or scratch a body part. That will get your human up to examine whether or not you have a problem- like a goopy ear. But do it even if your ear isn’t bothering you. Because they HAVE TO look. Mission accomplished.

6. Squeak. Like something is wrong with you. Again they may think you want to go out. So they get up to let you out… Mission accomplished.

7. Stare at them. Longingly. Like an abandoned stray sitting in a shelter waiting for adoption. This guilts them into either walking you, playing with you or giving you a treat just for being so adorable. They’re up. Mission accomplished.

8. Go into another room and be extremely quiet. This gets them up every single time. Because out of sight equals probable trouble. They come to find you. Mission accomplished.

9. Make noise. Throw around a metal food dish. Keep incessantly squeaking a toy. Bark at them. All of these actions will get a response. Trust me. Especially if they are on the phone or a Zoom call. That’s THE best time to play the noise card. Mission accomplished.

Now please keep in mind that you are doing these things not to be a pest but because you have your human’s best interests at heart. You’re concerned for their health. I mean if they sit too long they could get blood clots! Mind you, I’m thinking that’s not going to happen in 15 minutes. But better safe than sorry.

Tune in tomorrow for more helpful health tips!!! You’re welcome!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Hey blogaroos! A quick St. Paddy’s day greeting!!!! Yup – the obligatory holiday photos. The trio shot above was the best we could get. And here are my best shots.

But I know you actually prefer the bloopers. We don’t have too many – but I kinda liked these.

Here we are warming up. I’m looking for treat crumbs. The Coyote is doing his best horrified look. And note who is ready for the photo shoot…

Here we have a sequence which you wouldn’t necessarily know if you looked only at the single shots. We start with both me and the Coyote hearing a sound to our left. Or we both pretended we heard a sound. We’re kinda looking at the camera. But not totally.

Now the Coyote really thinks he hears something. Or pretends to..

Now while it LOOKS like he’s looking at the camera, he’s still listening. For something.

Note whose position never changes. Ever. He looks like he is photoshopped in.

The guys told me this holiday is just a chance to get ready for Easter. They mentioned something about rabbit ears- but I have no idea what they mean. We’ll see..

But speaking of rabbit ears…….In other news- guess what I DIDN’T do yesterday?! OK you give up. It was actually a full-fledged-write-this-down-who’s-a-good-boy moment. We were walking on the golf course early in the morning and I was running free. And what did My Enforcer spot but TWO rabbits on the fairway. TWO. And I spotted them too. They took off. And I STARTED to chase them. BUT My Enforcer shouted out to me and said “Wojtek HERE.” And guess what? I didn’t chase the bunnies AND I came when called?! Yup. A miracle. So ya see? I CAN be good. Mind you, that was just shortly after I ricocheted off My Enforcer while we were walking. I just like to keep her guessing.

Any way – may you have the luck of the Irish today and may you find your pot of biscuits at the end of the rainbow! And may no dog pee on your four leaf clover.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Wild things

Howdy doody blogaroos. Squirmy Wormy No No Crash Test Smarty for your reading fun today. Yup – I’m a wild thing. But it seems that yours truly is not the ONLY wild dog in this house these days…

So My Enforcer is thinking that the time change AND the fact that spring is around the corner, is resulting in some REALLY wild behavior in this household. I mean beyond the normal level of insanity.

My ricocheting has reached a new level of crazy. And before you say “he needs more exercise” you need to know that I go for at least an hour long walk every morning during which I am running FREE. And I can cover a lot of ground! And when I come home, I rest for 5 minutes and I’m ready to go again. That’s my first walk of the day…

After I get my walk, the Boss gets his and finally, the Coyote gets his. And for the past two mornings, the Coyote has reportedly been kinda wild too. First he’ll suddenly, without ANY warning, hit the ground and will roll once. Just enough to get his long legs caught up in his leash. Then, he begins to pull with his teeth on the leash. He bites down so hard, My Enforcers thinks he is trying to chew his way though the leash.

Yesterday he managed to get loose while My Enforcer was trying to untangle him. He grabbed the leash handle and made a run for it. They were walking on the golf course (which is still closed) so he was no where near traffic. But ooooo-eee – that guy can cover a lot of ground when he takes off. And unlike me, he has no recall. I come a-running for lousy pieces of kibble. My Enforcer could be wearing a sirloin steak around her neck and when he is free, he could care less when she calls. So the only thing she could think to do was to run away from him in the hopes that he would chase her. Nah. He just watched her run and sat down to see how far she would go. When she started to go back towards him, he did his gazelle routine and took off further. This time she ran away and hid behind a tree. Think he came? Nah. When she stood there by her lonesome self for 30 seconds, she finally peeked out to see him lying on the grass, chewing on his leash. This time she shouted “DOWN” which was kinda crazy as he already WAS down. But then she shouted “GOOD BOY. Good down. Good for you. Stay down. Staaayyyyyy.” And she started to slowly approach him like some bird watcher not wanting to startle some rare bird that they have been waiting their entire life to see. She kept walking slowly and saying “Good down. Great down. Stay down.” And low and behold he did. She grabbed the leash and said a thank you prayer.

Yesterday My Enforcer tried to get the obligatory Saint Patrick’s Day photos with us guys. The Coyote looks like someone took away his favorite toy in every single picture. Meanwhile, getting yours truly to even sit was a challenge. And that’s without any head gear. She didn’t even attempt head gear photos with the three of us given how loco two of us have been lately. After the dismal trio shots, she made me sit alone for some shots with the shamrock head band. Clearly I’m not Irish because there was nothing lucky about doing that. At first I was pretty serious, but then I figured I had better smile – to make up for all my recent oopsies. Who am I kidding – I just cooperated for the treats. I looked pretty cute – stay tuned for my model shots.

Well time to go walking! This time change means we have to wait later for it to be light out. But that’s OK – we can go for a long walk after supper! Remember – a tired dog is a happy dog. Or is it, a tired dog is a happy owner….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Another oopsie

Hey blogaroos! I hope you’re reading this and your clock is correct!!! Last night we went to bed – and somehow lost an hour of time! Now, I happen to think sleep is overrated and since this means I get breakfast an hour earlier – I’m all for it! But really – where does that hour go? The Boss is hoping that was the hour he was going to be groomed. He’s got a lot of fuzzickies so it’s not going to be a pleasant experience for anybody.

I got my brushing by the one-handed groomer yesterday. Actually, she had to use both hands a little bit because she discovered some serious fuzzickies in some very awkward locations. I was very well behaved during my grooming. An absolute angel. Unfortunately my good behavior didn’t last too long….

Yesterday we were all given bully sticks while My Enforcer had some work to do. I was given a brand new one – which was 12” long. The Boss and the Coyote were given sticks that had previously been started on another day. Their sticks were 6-8” long. In an hour, I finished mine and the Boss finished his. But the Coyote had quit his. When I realized he had abandoned his, I decided I should eat that one too. HOWEVER, My Enforcer thought I had had enough. That resulted in a chase around the dining room table. She got out treats and tried to trade for the stick. But seriously, I wasn’t giving up my prize. I tbought this was a game – so I clamped my mouth shut. Well not completely, as the stick was still sticking out of my cheek. And here’s where being one handed is a real problem. For some unknown reason, my Enforcer stuck her finger in my mouth to pry it open. But not really a good plan with one hand. Because yours truly clamped down on the stick even harder. Except her finger was in the way…..

I made a pretty good puncture in her index finger. And then I swallowed the stick. Guess who didn’t get much supper last night. She said I was full of bully sticks – so that should be enough.

On a lighter note (I’m trying to deflect attention from my latest oopsie), today is Einstein’s birthday. Not the Einstein in this house – the original one – Albert the physicist. Did you know that Einstein loved animals? And he had a wire fox terrier named Chico Marx. Apparently Einstein used to get a lot of mail – and he said “The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail. That’s why he tries to bite the mailman.” The guy was not only smart – but funny.

Tonight I go to my Rally class. I suppose I had better behave for class or I could end up like Major, living at a different address for “a while.” I just hope My Enforcer can dole out the treats – I mean she’s got a splint on her right hand and a bandaged finger on her left. Both are the results of my oopsies. Good thing I’m cute!!! And I do a good Einstein impersonation…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.