A tacky blog

January 31.  Today is Scotch Tape Day.  A day to celebrate that incredibly useful invention that was first made in 1930.  And while it IS useful, it strikes fear in the hearts of the dogs in this household.  Seriously. Well – not all the dogs.  Just me.  And Paxton too.  Frodo just barks at Scotch Tape.  Paxton and I leap backwards when shown a piece.  I think it started with our curiosity with lint rollers – those devices that most dog owners should have stock in.  One of us no doubt went to sniff the roller and that sticky feeling was not pleasant – so we decided we didn’t like it.  And that fear extends to any kind of sticky tape.  If my human was clever and she wanted to end our counter surfing once and for all, all she would have to do is line the edges of all the counters with tape.  Admittedly it wouldn’t look very pretty – but no worries about us stealing her toast in the morning.  Hey – I bet if she put tape all over the floor in front of the DFZ, we would never try to sneak in there!  Or our jumping skills would get much better.
My human found this old website that shows sculptures made with tape.  I think those people have WAY too much time on their hands.
There are a variety of things that humans can do with tape – related to dogs.  You can make a collar:
You can make boots.  Although you would never catch any of US wearing these things:
AND tape supposedly can help to remove ticks.  And no doubt, a big hunk of your dog’s coat,  too.
So that’s my story on Scotch tape.  Personally, I wasn’t really stuck on the idea of writing about tape but since I didn’t get in any sticky situations yesterday, it’s the best I could do.  OK – time to roll along!  My goodness – this is whole story is getting tacky. I had better adhere to my standards and just wrap this up.
Have a happy Sunday!
© Linda Wozniak

The singing runaway

January 30.  Oh the irony.  According to the crazy calendar – there are several “holidays” today – and BOTH of them have significance with relation to yesterday’s birthday boy.  Today is National Escape Day AND Yodel for Your Neighbors Day.   BOTH of these “holidays” should have fallen on the 29th to coincide with PONdini’s birthday. 

Frodo can escape from ANYTHING.  I kid you not.  There are loads of tales of the great Escape Artist.  For example, when he was a puppy, and he was left in a HUGE, HEAVY X-pen, he figured out how to move the whole pen across the room, close to the sofa – so he could climb out, onto the sofa – and FREEDOM.  There are tales of him chewing through 10 bungee cords to escape from a run made of chain link.  Leaving behind me and Paxton – who couldn’t fit through the small opening in the gate.  You know how mice can fit through even the TINIEST of openings?  Well Frodo, the Professor, must be part mouse.  I wish he would teach me his tricks – but he refuses to show me.  Besides, I’m just not as limber as he is.  I know he is older – but that guy is like Gumby – he can move any which way.

And as for yodeling – we already KNOW he masters THIS skill as well.  And not JUST for the direct neighbors – but anyone within a 5 mile radius.  He thinks we enjoy his “singing.”  And we DO try to imitate him – but he wins – his vocal range is MUCH better than ours. 

My human has no idea about the yodeling that goes on when she is not here.  And speaking of that – she just saw the trailer for a movie that it is coming out this summer.  She’s not a HUGE animated movie person – but this is one movie she definitely wants to see!  Check out this trailer:

Well I think it’s time to go and stare at my human – because it IS the weekend!  She actually got home from work a BIT early yesterday – because we were having another “snow event.”  We were so excited to see her – we had been waiting patiently at the door from the moment she left in the morning.  (Not really.  We were actually sound asleep – but don’t let HER know.)  No matter what – we’re thrilled for another 3 day weekend!

Have a great Saturday.  I know we will!

©  Linda Wozniak

Happy BIRTHDAY Frodo!

January 29.  A special day.  A day to celebrate my big brother Frodo – it’s his 6th birthday!  He is the barkiest, but probably best-behaved dog in this house!

Frodo is my full brother – we have the same parents – but he is 2 years older than me.  I must confess, I am sometimes a bit jealous of him – he is just so….good!  When Paxton and I get it in our heads to go “exploring” – Frodo will race to the edge of the woods and he then turns back to stay with my human.   She and Frodo have this weird physic connection – he knows what she is thinking before she even makes a move to do something. And he is incredibly easy to train – unless he gets bored.  Then he says, that’s quite enough – and goes on to do something else.  Like retrieving for example.  He will bring back a fetch toy about 10 times and then he says “really, what is the point in this,” and he heads for the door to go back in the house.  He waits when he is told to wait and he follows commands very well.  He LOVES to show off in Rally.  I like to call him “the Professor.”
Now while he is pretty close to being the “perfect” dog – he does have his vices.  He is a barker extraordinaire – and he has actually taught this skill to me and Paxton!  He also is a drama king when it comes to grooming.  I’ve said it before – he could win an award portraying a dog that is being tortured.  He is also a weird guy when it comes to his feet.  He does not appreciate you touching them.  So pedicure time is always GREAT fun.
But he is smart – and pretty good looking – as he has proven in the show rings.  He also, thankfully has been a very healthy boy – probably because he doesn’t eat inedible objects – like Paxton does.  Although he WAS interested the other day in…well you remember.
EVERY now and then, Frodo and I will get into a “skirmish” about something.  It doesn’t happen often – it’s a sibling rivalry thing.  And of course, I usually start it – being the youngest in the house.  But Frodo will have none of my nonsense and he quickly puts me in my place.  He’s like a world champion wrestler – he pins me – EVERY time – and the skirmish is over.   DONE.  And I concede defeat. 
So Happy Birthday to my human’s first PON.  He is a super role model – and if it weren’t for him – I wouldn’t be here!  My human thought she was getting a clone of Frodo when she got me.  WRONGO.  But let’s face it – life SHOULD be interesting – and I definitely fill that bill!  Cheers to ANOTHER PONtastic trip around the sun big bro!

 ©  Linda Wozniak

Pop Art Day

January 28.  According to the crazy calendar, today is Pop Art day.  Pop art began in the 1950’s. As I understand it,  Pop Art emphasized popular, modern cultural elements – and was often characterized by bright bold colors.  It pictured everyday kinds of objects and had a “funky” wild look.  A classic example of Pop Art was Andy Warhol’s painting of rows of Campbell Soup cans. Of course, my human had to TRY and create her own Pop Art image using the  Warhol 3D option in the Super Photo App– on her iPad.  She made my Pop Art portrait from a sketch she did of me:

Here I am – in bold beautiful color.  A personalized PON Pop Art Portrait.  How’s that for alliteration?

I’m not sure you can even tell it’s me – but I assure you it IS!

Here’s another way to make a Pop Art portrait of your canine kid:


I also decided to see if  I could find any dogs who paint their own masterpieces.  And of course, I did. Check out this dog. He does most of his paintings for charity – and he even has his own Facebook page and You Tube channel!

I REALLY LOVE this idea and my human likes to try things with us – but she draws the line with us and paint.  I can’t IMAGINE why?!  I guess we’ll just have to stick with our snow art.

Have an artsy day!

© Linda Wozniak

Never mind Mr. Trump.

OK.  I can’t take it any more.  Time to talk politics.  Well – not REALLY politics.  Today I’m actually talking about entertainment.  Which means I am about to talk about Donald Trump.  And the US Presidential election. Last July, I wrote a blog about him – and to be honest – I thought by now he would have disappeared and gone back to one of his many homes to count his money.  I doubt he would be out walking his dog.  In fact, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t own a dog.  That says something about him.  For SURE he doesn’t have a PON – we would be WAY too smart for him.

Some of you might remember an old Saturday Night Live character, Emily Litella who was played by the amazing comedian, Gilda Radner.   If you don’t know her, she was a schoolteacher who often misunderstood a topic of discussion- for example she would think the topic was “firing the handicapped,” instead of “hiring the handicapped.”  She would go on the news and rant and rave about the topic – only to have the REAL topic explained to her after her tirade.  She would then quickly say “never mind.”  And that was the end of her talk. 

My human keeps thinking that this whole Trump candidacy thing is kind of like Emily Litella.  She keeps WAITING for him to say “never mind” and to disappear into oblivion.  But it hasn’t happened!  He’s STILL talking.  And ranting on about things he knows nothing about!!!!

The scary thing is that people DO listen to him.  And believe him.  Even some dogs!!!  Watch THIS video that I just found, even though it is not brand new:

I am pleased to say, that out of curiosity, my human actually played this video for us.  We all stood there and looked at her.  She was so relieved, she gave us EXTRA biscuits!

Donald’s ONLY redeeming quality, in my opinion is that he allows dogs in some of his luxury hotels.   For a price, of course.

So that’s MY rant for today.   Phew.  Oh -and just to be clear – my human and I are not OVERLY enamored with any of the Presidential candidates.  I’m still wondering if I can get into the race?  Oh wait…I was born in Canada.  Hmmmm… But Paxton COULD run.  He was born in the US.  And I could be his campaign manager!  Seriously, what Paxton has to say makes a whole lot more sense then the Trump!  At this stage of the game, this whole election thing couldn’t GET any more strange.  How do we get his name on the ballot?

©  Linda Wozniak

It was all fun and games. And then the Berner threw up….

It was all fun and games.  And then the Berner threw up….

So yesterday was my human’s day off.  After she did some work on the computer, she took all of us out in the afternoon for another run.  We had a nice run in the morning, and I actually got a long walk to the mailboxes at the end of the road, too.  I think she was trying to tire me out before scent class.  Anyway, we were all running around and having a grand time. I had a fetch toy that I was carrying – my human has figured out that if I carry it, I won’t take off in the woods.  I just stay close to her – so she can throw it.  Paxton has been on his best behavior lately too.  No wild escapes to the neighbors’.  So we were all running around in our state of joyful doggish glee. Frodo was rolling in the snow – I was fetching and carrying my toy and Paxton….well he decided to take a break and just lounge in the snow.  And he also decided to EAT some snow.

Well. The next thing you know, my human glances over at Pax as she hears that telltale urky-gurky sound.  Most dog owners know it.  It’s the sound that we dogs make before we throw up.  And sure enough – the inevitable happens. Bam.  And Frodo and I went into frenzy mode.  To a PON, another dog throwing up is like a kid standing in front of a malfunctioning gumball machine that is quickly spitting out candy and treats.  Jackpot!!!!  My human DOVE to grab us – shouting “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!” so loud I am SURE people within a 5 mile radius heard her.  Frodo and I knew we only had a split second before she reached us – and both of us wanted the bounty.  So we actually had a skirmish over it.  We were rolling in the snow, making all kinds of noise- growling and barking at each other.  All over some dog puke.  My human grabbed us by the collars and said “THAT’S enough of THAT.”  And she commanded that we go in the house.  All this time, Paxton was looking rather sheepish about the whole incident.  So much for a peaceful jaunt in the great outdoors.

Scent class was great again last night.  The Sheltie who hates me was replaced by another Sheltie – who I think thought I was pretty cool.  I mean we sat right next to each other and we even took turns sharing treats.  He’s not like his evil twin sister.  Actually, I don’t think they ARE twins and I’m not even sure they are related – but they do live together.  And she probably NOT evil – just a bit possessed.  He, on the other hand, was very nice to me.  I was more controlled during my searches and I was 100% accurate in finding my hot dogs.  I THINK I’m getting the hang of this, although next week we are apparently changing things up a bit – and things will be getting a little more difficult.  Hey – if there are hot dogs involved, I’m good.  Really, anything edible works for me.  And come to think of it, even things that aren’t so edible would be fine in my books…

©  Linda Wozniak

THE Winter Games

January 26.  On this day in 1924,  the first Winter Olympic Games were held in Chamonix, France.  Back then, were were five main categories of events – bobsleigh, curling, Nordic skiing, skating and ice hockey.  Things like Alpine skiing and snowboarding were not on the events list back then.

You know, if we canines had our OWN winter games – there would be whole different list of events. We canines don’t wear skis – but we certainly could do a cross-country race.  No problem there.  We LOVE to race in the snow.

We would have snow sniffing.  It’s where you bury your head and sniff for something.  I’m not sure just WHAT-  but you just do it.  

Then we have the ever-popular snow eating event.  Watch out for this one – because IF you eat too much too quickly…well that would be the objective.  To NOT throw up.

We also have the snow roll competition.  Points are calculated based on how long your four legs are in the air.  Frodo would be a gold medal contender in this event.

The snowball competition.  For the dog who has the most snowballs stuck in his coat.  And is still be able to walk.

And we also have the snow art competition.  Where we create unique yellow patterns in pristine snow.  Points are awarded for a design that actually resembles SOMETHING.  I don’t have a photo of that…our designs are pretty nondescript.  We have to work more on our artistic skills. But we sure have lots of them around our yard!

We would also have alpine yodeling.  Well. We actually yodel all year round here.  But for some reason – it’s more fun in the snow.


Oh and lastly – we COULD pull a sled!  Well – Paxton could.  Dog sled racing was a demonstration sport at the 1932 Olympics and again in 1952 – but it never became an official event.  Hey – MAYBE we could get that one going.  It’s really a human-dog event – but at least it would get our paw in the Olympic door.  Then we start taking over with our other events….Wonder who I talk to about that one…

Have a wonderful winter day – whether you have snow or not!

©  Linda Wozniak

National Peanut Butter Day

January 24.  Today is National Peanut Butter Day.  Mmmmmmm.  We dogs LOVE peanut butter.  And yes – it is safe in moderation because it is a good source of vitamins, protein and healthy fats.  It can be great in a Kong – because it will keep us occupied for quite a long time.  There has been some info in the news lately warning people about peanut butter containing something called Xylitol – a sugar substitute found in many food products.  While Xylitol is supposedly safe for humans – it is NOT safe for dogs.  It can be found in a number of food products including gum, candy and jam.    It can also be found in peanut butter – but not ALL peanut butter contains it.  Read the label. If it says Xylitol, obviously it contains it – and if is says sugar alcohol, you can probably assume it contains Xylitol.  Do not use those products!!!!

My human has used peanut butter in the past when a dog does not want to take a prescribed pill.  We dogs are pretty darn smart – and if we don’t like the taste of a pill – we won’t forget it.  So getting us to take it can be a challenge.  Burying it in our food does not work.  We smell that pill.  Sometimes those pill pocket things work.  Initially.  But we also figure those out.  But what DOES work is putting the pill in some peanut butter and sticking it quickly on the roof of our mouth. I actually can’t believe I am revealing this secret.  We lick the peanut butter off the roof of our mouth – and down the pill goes.  Yes.  Sometimes humans can be clever.

And speaking of dogs and health – did you know that a recent survey revealed that nearly 3 million dogs in the US are on anti-anxiety medication!  Seriously!  For things like separation anxiety.  Some argue that medication should be used as a last-ditched effort – and try behavioural methods first.  But because humans live in a fast-paced-let’s-fix-this kind of world, they often go right to medication before they even TRY anything else.  Seems to me a bunch of Kongs with peanut butter and cheese might be a first step to try!  But what do I know?

You know – I’d like to blame my bad behaviour on anxiety – but the reality?  I confess.  I’m just plain old bad!

Well it looks like we dodged the big snowstorm that hit the US – for a change.  Some snow forecast here – but nothing like the Eastern US.  My human texted a good friend in Washington, whose Saint Bernard was afraid of all the snow – and didn’t want to poop.  I kid you not!  They had to go out on the road where the plow had gone through and there was much dancing and singing when he finally “did his thing.”  Good thing Dudley doesn’t live in Nova Scotia.  He would be VERY constipated!

Well time to stare at my human so she will either take us out for another run, or  will play games with us.  And maybe I can convince her to bake us some peanut butter biscuits!

Have a great Sunday!

© Linda Wozniak

Friday night out

So last night all of us boys got to go downtown.  Yup.  Friday night in the big city.  But not exactly what we expected.
It was Friday afternoon and my human got home from work.  We did the extra-joyful-it’s-Friday greeting which is really not ALL that different from our greeting ANY day– and she took all of us out for a run and some playing outside.  We wanted to get back in quickly, though, because we knew it was dinner time.  We chowed down our dinner only to discover that our human was going OUT for dinner with some of the neighbors, to the golf course up the road.  We were a BIT annoyed because, really, weekends are supposed to be all about US.  But she went anyway.
She came home and we repeated the extra-joyful-it’s-Friday greeting again.  We each went out for a pee and THEN my human discovered something.  Her laptop was missing.  Paxton just looked at her as if to say “I take LOTS of things – but I didn’t take the computer.”  My human realized she must have left it at the office.  Well, humans have a lot of attachment to those computer things – probably because hers contains 26,000 photos.  25,000 of which are of us dogs.  And yes – she DOES have a backup drive….but she really couldn’t go to sleep wondering exactly where that laptop was.  So – she opened the garage door, and opened the door to Harold, and whooo-hooo – road trip at 9 last night.   And what a joyful ride it was going to downtown Halifax.  It takes about 25 minutes from our house – IF there is not much traffic.  So it wasn’t bad last night.  Yes – a true joy – me squeaking all the way because I kept thinking we were actually going to go for a walk or something, Frodo growling at every pedestrian once we were in the city, and Paxton creating olfactory art on every window surface.  Once my human got to her office building, she ran in and we all waited.  She was relieved to find “her digital life scrapbook” and she happily returned to us.  And the joyful 25 minute ride home. 
So that was our big Friday night downtown.  No restaurants, movies, theaters or pubs for US.  But a good car ride is a good car ride – and as long as we are with our human – we’re happy!  And so the weekend continues!  I hope yours is great!
© Linda Wozniak

For Emzy.

The year was 2010.  My human was having one of her marathon Skype calls with one of her oldest and dearest friends. They had known each other from University days – we’re talking a LONG time ago!  Her friend was in the US Air Force, serving in South Korea at the time.  And her friend had an announcement – they were getting a dog!  My human’s friend was married – and her husband was back in the US – holding down the fort at home – which included a variety of furry friends– cats and ferrets.  And they LOVED their fur kids – but they had not been owned by a dog.  So my human was thrilled for her friend.  “What kind of dog?”  she excitedly asked.  “”Well, we have Military Working Dog who is retiring here – she’s a German Shepherd – and that’s who I plan to bring home.”  “Oh my,” my human thought.  “”Yes, I’ve visited with her – and boy you should see her dive into her food when they slide that metal bowl into her run!” her friend related.  “Oh my, oh my,” my human gulped.  “And I’ll have to learn all the commands she knows – and it will be interesting to see how she’ll be with my husband after she’s been working with me.”  “Oh my, oh my, oh my.”  “How old is she, and why is she retiring?” my human tentatively asked.  “She’s over 7 – but she has a severe cardiac problem. Her name is Emzy.”  “Oh my, oh my, oh my, Oh MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” my human’s brain exploded.  While my human was excited that her friend would finally be experiencing the joys of dog ownership – she had concerns about this union.  I mean, it seemed that giving a Military Working Dog to brand new dog owners was like giving the keys to a Maserati to a kid who just got his driver’s license!  They weren’t just getting a dog – they were getting a machine.  Emzy had a very distinguished military career. She had conducted over 700 Random Access Terrorism Measures in Korea.  She had protected the Air Base – and all the staff that worked there.  She received an honorary Achievement Medal at her retirement.  This wasn’t just ANY dog.  OH MY.  I can’t even BEGIN to describe the thoughts and fears that went through my human’s mind.

Well, I am here to tell you, my human was wrong about her reservations.  Totally.  But she was right about one thing.  This WASN’T just any dog.  This was a dog who easily could fly half way around the globe and go from living and working as a military dog to living comfortably- and peacefully in a southern US home – with cats and ferrets!  She didn’t forget her extensive obedience training – and was a JOY to live with.  She loved her friend’s husband – the adjustment to her new life didn’t take long at all.  Yes – this wasn’t just any dog.  This was a dog who could obediently walk on a leash, and happily greet neighbors – but who would remember her training if she sensed danger in any way.  My human recalls a story about her friend walking down the street with Emzy and being passed by a rather shady character.  Emzy never let out a sound or a growl – but automatically “assumed her position” next to my human’s friend.  There was no incident. 

Emzy went from patrolling a military base to patrolling a golf course – riding on a golf cart with her friend’s husband on his daily round of golf.  She led an incredible life – with her incredible humans.  And her heart condition?  Yes…it did cause some problems in the past year or so– and her humans were so grateful to a wonderful civilian group, The United States War Dogs Association, in Burlington, New Jersey who help to pay for the medical bills of retired Military Dogs.  But throughout her 13.5 years (yes – 13.5!!!!!!), Emzy led a full, very active and happy life – even joyously playing with her Jolly Ball this past week.

But as you humans know…you often outlive us.  And after a completely full, heroic life – in the military AND in the home, Emzy’s heart could no longer work.  Her humans made that difficult but loving decision to send her off to a new mission.

Today, Emzy no doubt, has a new job patrolling the entrance to the Rainbow Bridge.  WHAT a life well lived.  We thank her for her service….and we thank her humans for providing her with such an amazing and loving home in her retirement years… All retired Military dogs should have it so good…

We salute you, Emzy.  We’ll see you some day.  At the bridge. Your Watch on earth is over – but a new one has begun.

©  Linda Wozniak