Happy Halloween

Yeah yeah. The holiday we have anxiously been waiting for. Not. The time when animals are openly tortured by being made to wear horrible attire. I’m calling animal control.

I must confess, we didn’t have to endure total humiliation by wearing a full costume. Just the dreaded headbands and some lights. And keep in mind – we get LOTS of treats during these exercises. The lights were not bad – and even the FG smirked a bit. The headbands? Well didn’t her highness think she was being clever by dressing us as jesters. Ha ha. Einstein and I cooperated a bit – but as soon as you put a headband on the FG, he looks like you took away his fetch toy.

In addition to spending hard earned money on jester headbands (which would have been better spent on treats) , her highness thought cats would be cute too. Admittedly they were tiger and leopard prints, but seriously- they are CATS. The group shot is pretty sad…Just look at me…

The FG was lucky – you could hardly see the ears on him. I was totally annoyed with this get up. She tried to get a close up….and I do look better here..

The FG refused- I mean REFUSED – to look at her. Here is a shot during one of the chaotic attempts. I’m having major wardrobe malfunction because I had just been chewing on the leaves to my left…Einstein is also starting to have a problem and the FG is still ignoring the camera.

During an individual shot, Einstein was initially cooperative.

But he has his limits…

So we survived the headbands. BUT her highness had actually planned OTHER costumes for us. And she bought three of them. The thing is…these required modifications. And we know how handy she is when it comes to certain projects. She decided to take shots with Einstein first. And he fully cooperated. But it was an epic fail. So thankfully, the FG and I were spared the opportunity to participate. This is probably the best photo of them all…..

That’s it for this year. Now we get to watch her highness continue eating the Halloween treats that she bought for 50 kids. Remember- we usually get 6 on a good year….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.


She’s been cleaning. AGAIN. How bad could this place have become since the last clean-a-thon that was completed on Saturday?! OK. Don’t answer that. Yesterday her highness looked at the dining room – and saw multiple leaves. Scattered everywhere. You can’t even see them all in the photo because we are sitting on them. So I guess I DO understand why she is cleaning. But really- it’s a losing battle.

Anyway – she was cleaning because we are getting COMPANY today!!!! And this is very cool – because her highness met this friend several years ago – through the net!!! She’s a PON person and she read my blog. And lo and behold – she and her highness are both in the healthcare field – in the area of communication. Her highness’ area was speech – and her friend, Sue works in the area of hearing. Both professions speech-language pathology and audiology work closely – and in graduate school, are both in the same programs – with two different streams. Anyway, her highness and Sue have been meeting for several years now at the annual conference in the US. And now Sue is speaking at a conference HERE- so today, after it’s over- she is coming to visit with us!!!! We’ve never had a PON person stay with us. Sure – lots of dog humans. But no PON humans. So Sue knows what to expect. She is prepared. She is used to badness. She won’t have to sign the waiver.

She has a PON puppy, Scout, who I am anxious to learn more about. I hear he’s a busy guy. (But of course he is.)

Well let me see if I can bring in a few more leaves before she puts the vacuum away. Like I said, it’s a losing battle. I think Sue will understand.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Fall photo fiasco

Well we knew it was inevitable. After all, Halloween is only a few days away. When we heard her highness rumbling around in the garage, we knew it had something to do with that Dollar Store bag she brought home a few weeks ago. The dreaded Halloween attire.

She decided to try and get photos of us outdoors. She loaded up her pockets with extra tasty treats and out we went.

I’m here to tell you the the FG and I could not have been less cooperative. We had a pact. We would NOT look at the camera at the same time. In addition, we did a variety of other things. If her highness said to lie down, the FG would sit. And not move. If she said sit, he would lie down. Meanwhile yours truly was chewing on anything I could. Pumpkins. Leaves. Mud. Attire.

While the two of us were driving her to sheer madness, Einstein happily did whatever she asked. And he smiled the whole time. Mind you, at one point even HE began to rebel. He got tired of putting his head on a pumpkin- and he began rolling back and forth in the leaves. So much for limited activity post-surgery.

After struggling to keep headgear attire on all three of us, her highness conceded defeat and took some photos without attire. In the one above, it looks like the FG’s head is photoshopped in. Or it looks like he was buried in leaves. Which he wasn’t.

Here are the best shots she could get.

Note the only happy dog
2/3 happy faces
Before he rebelled
He’s looking at the camera!

The following are less impressive shots…

Nobody looks happy
Post-roll protest
He quit

She actually DID manage to get a few photos with obligatory headgear. You’ll have to wait a few more days to see the results.

I wonder if the neighbors could hear the pleading, the weird sounds and the eventual off color language throughout the exercise. I think I saw her checking her blood pressure when it was over….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Birthday boy wants new home

Here it is. After 6PM and I am finally getting her highness to type my blog. The day is almost over – and between a Halloween party, out of town company, oh and a few vet visits- her highness FORGOT to look at the calendar. And what DAY is it? Why it’s my BIRTHDAY.

It wasn’t until she saw a posting by one of the more perceptive humans who happens to be owned by two of my brothers, that she REALIZED what day it was. I was NOT impressed. She apologized repeatedly and then, in an effort to make things better, rushed off to the pet store to buy me some extra special treats. But not before stopping at some party store to get me a new party hat. Oh joy. The only good thing is that the day is all most over so I don’t have to wear it long. And of course she doled out multiple treats to get the photo. She felt so guilty. Seriously- HOW could she forget the date. I’m looking for a new home.

A home where I get plenty to eat. Where all my medications are available and delivered on time. A place where I can chase the occasional bunny. A place where I can sleep in a human bed. A place where there are other dogs for company. A place where the human takes me for multiple walks each day. A place where there is minimal grooming….

OK. OK. I guess I already HAVE most of that. I could go for less grooming, but then again, I guess a stinky matted coat really wouldn’t be all that great.

I’ll forgive her this time. Because she DID buy me sweet potato chews…and some other biscuits. I’ll cut her some slack. Besides, Christmas is coming…

Happy number 8 to me!!!!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

The vet check

Einstein had his vet appointment yesterday. Her highness left him in the car while she waited for the vet to be available. She watched the zombies in the waiting area, and held her breath on several occasions when there were uncontrolled “dog greetings.” She was glad Einstein was in the car. She figured he would not appreciate other dogs staring at his cone.

The vet was very pleased with the fact that his incision looked so good – given that he had only had surgery four days before. It was still a challenge to look at “the area” – and he remains “sensitive” about having the area touched. But all in all, the vet was pleased and said in another week to ten days they could either come in again, or her highness could email the vet a photo. Good luck getting THAT shot.

He continues to milk this whole thing as best he can. He has managed to convince her highness that he MUST come in the DFZ if she is in there. He has never pawed at the gate before – but since she let him in the other day, he now feels it is his RIGHT to stay in there.

Her highness has been cleaning the house for two days so we figured something is up. We heard through the grapevine that many of the neighbors on our road are doing a house to house kind of party tonight- and our place is on the circuit. I was hoping the other dogs on the road would come too – but apparently this is a human party. Trust me – Einstein will be sure to remind everyone that dogs should have been included. Wonder if we will have free range. Unlikely as I hear there will be food – and let’s face it, our begging manners are not our most appealing traits.

Well time for another walk with you know who. I’m used to walking with Einstein – and I know the drill. When one of us poops – we all need to wait during the pick up. The FG is used to walking on his own – so he’s not used to waiting for another dog’s pick up. I must have heard her highness say “WAIT” at least 26 times yesterday. Maybe he’ll figure it out today. Nah. I doubt it. He’s too busy zig zagging….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Hopefully the last vet visit…

It’s Friday and today Einstein has his recheck appointment at the vet. Good luck with that. It was a challenge to get him in the door the last time – imagine what he’ll think about this visit. Her highness had better be packing some really good treats.

He still has his “moments” but overall he is doing well. He is looking forward to going coneless. I told him he should pretend he is dressed up for Halloween as a lamp. He wasn’t impressed.

Meanwhile, the FG and I are adapting to our walks together. It’s pretty dark in the morning right now – so her highness keeps us on tight leads as she doesn’t want either of us to run into any visitors. Twice in the past 2 weeks, she has spotted a porcupine on the side of the driveway. Luckily, we didn’t see him. That’s ALL we need is another vet visit. As it is, Ludwig goes there on autopilot. Her highness could close her eyes to get there. I don’t advocate that though.

It looks like the clocks will be going back next weekend – November 3. Which means her highness has a mathematical algorithm to figure out my pill schedule. This happens every time the clocks change. You would think she would have it figured out by now. Mind you, right now between me and Einstein, we are taking 9 medications. We were at 10 – but I finished one. Some are taken every 8 hours, some every 12 hours and some every 24 hours. It is nothing short of a miracle that she has kept them straight the past 2 weeks. She’s also been on major pill pocket production. She has changed the recipe. Now it’s just organic peanut butter, organic coconut flour and water. She still makes balls – just for convenience. And she’s getting faster and faster at making them. She knows we’re not picky.

Well time for my constitutional with the zig zag machine. Sometimes I just look at him and wonder WHAT is going through his mind. And I thought I was busy…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Surgery Day 2.

Misery loves company. What’s worse than a PON with a cone, who had surgery on his private parts? How about a Saint Bernard with multiple bouts of explosive diarrhea? Seriously. Is not the vision of that enough to make your blood run cold? It could be a wartime weapon of mass destruction.

Poor Dudley. He’s the Saint owned by our friend Marvin. Seems he took a cue from Einstein and decided he wanted to see the interior of an emergency clinic too. All joking aside, we hope he is soon better. Or his family will have to move.

Meanwhile, Einstein has moments of drama – but overall we are seeing a tiny light at the end of the Chunnel. He slept a lot yesterday- although he did take time out to play his favorite game- shower barking. You know that one. You wait until the human has stepped into the shower and then you bark like an army of burglars has invaded your home. But of course, no one is really there. He plays the game very well – on a fairly regular basis. So you know that he’s feeling more like himself.

Yesterday morning, because he couldn’t go on our usual long walk, the FG and I went together. That’s a rare pairing. But it was productive. And her highness didn’t end up in the ditch at the side of the road. So she was happy.

Her highness took like a 3 hour nap yesterday afternoon. The woman has no stamina. We need to work on building that up.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

He’s home. And dramatic.

The good news? Einstein survived his surgery. The bad news? He is going to kill the rest of us.

All went well with his surgery. BUT he is on a super restricted activity level. He can only go out for a pee on leash. And back in. The surgical area was tricky to repair. So he can’t take any chance that he injures himself. As for the procedure itself….He was not keen on them giving him the anesthesia. He probably didn’t like the needle in his leg. No surprise. He squealed when her highness attempted to brush his head before he went to the vet.

It’s interesting to see the household dynamic when one of the pack is missing. The FG and I were rather out of sorts all day while he was gone. Einstein is the household moderator, first alert canine and the dog with the most opinions on things. Which he boldly proclaims. Loudly. And frequently. The house was very quiet without him.

He was in moderate discomfort last night – but that was to be expected. We knew it – so we didn’t even bother him. Honestly- you have NO idea how dramatic he can be.

Her highness’ friend Joanie came over last evening to keep her company. So they ate junk food and had the odd alcoholic beverage. Einstein slept through the whole time. But of course when it was time for his pee before bedtime, he woke up- and the squealing and panting began. Her highness hopes this thing heals quickly. Very quickly.

Thanks to so many who sent good wishes and prayers for his surgery. They worked. And hopefully in no time, he’ll be back to his role as household boss. And we won’t have to listen to his mournful squeals. It was a long night…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Surgery day

Today Einstein goes in for his surgery. One of the trickiest parts of the day will be no breakfast for him. He is NOT going to be happy.

He was feeling much better yesterday. Although he definitely still exhibits signs of being uncomfortable. Hopefully this surgery will make him feel all better in a few days. Paws crossed.

Yesterday her highness took the FG downtown for a walk on the boardwalk. She was feeling sorry for him because his partner in crime was not really being allowed to play with him. They actually DID get into one of their barking and rolling acts at one point yesterday, but the exercise police put a stop to that. As I said earlier, Einstein was definitely feeling better.

The FG was so desperate for a playmate, he even tried with yours truly. I’m fine with him, but we don’t really play together the way that he and Einstein do. Yesterday he laid down 2 feet from my face and squeaked to play. I just ignored him. That’s why HE got to go for that walk.

Please keep Einstein in your thoughts today. We’ll be glad when this day is over…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Orb Ordeal. Part 87.

So Einstein went to the vet yesterday. He woke up at 4AM and started his moaning and groaning and panting. Her highness managed to semi-ignore him until 4:45 when she got up and took us out. The funny thing is that when he gets moving outside, you wouldn’t know he has anything wrong with him. He trots merrily along – although he has a hard time finding a place to pee because he is reluctant to lift his leg. When he gets home, his appetite is GREAT. He forgets he is uncomfortable when there is food around.

Her highness was skeptical that they would be able to do the laser treatment because he wouldn’t even stay still enough for her to look at his nether regions. He was NOT a happy camper when they pulled up at the vet clinic. Her highness’ dear friend, Joanie happened to be in town and agreed to meet her highness at the clinic – for moral support. Einstein put on the brakes as they went in the clinic door. Once inside, he did a 360 and wanted to head out the door. He was not given the option.

I think the clinic staff was prepared for the circus. One of the technicians who had not been present the day of the last circus, had obviously heard about the spectacle and commented about it. They had probably drawn numbers to see who was going to be involved this time.

Einstein very reluctantly let both vets look at his nether region. I should note that although it is clear he is in pain, he has never, ever once acted aggressively. He has not snapped at anyone. He has not growled – despite the fact that he is clearly uncomfortable.

After both vets tried to get their best look, they agreed that laser would probably not be the best option after all. It could take weeks to heal the site- and after all that wrestling and pain, he could still require surgery. So they recommended just doing that instead. Her highness agreed. So on Monday he will have ablation surgery and he will hopefully be back to normal in a week to ten days. The vets DID witness that when he is doing something else – like getting treats – or looking at other dogs in the waiting room, he does not appear to be in great pain. He even jumps up on her highness for treats. And remember, he is eating well, peeing and pooping fine AND his surgical incision looks PERFECT. It’s the sore area that causes such discomfort – and he could win a dog Academy award for his over the top agonizing performance. Remember- he IS a drama king.

In the meantime, we have to put up with his theatrics. I’m feeling 100% better – so much so that I didn’t even need a cone yesterday. I’m definitely on the mend.

Someone said that if they saw our story on a sitcom they would say it’s too crazy to be true. And we have a whole new meaning for the phrase, “getting your knickers in a twist.” I thought that was funny.

For some reason, Einstein didn’t…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.