Frodo here. Today I cannot believe the topic that I am advocating. There is real irony that I should be discussing something which I personally detest. But these are unique times. The topic? Grooming.
On Sunday after her highness finished her breakfast, she looked at yours truly and announced “ you are a mess. You need grooming.” I looked at her and immediately thought the following:
Honestly – she is….to be perfectly blunt – a train wreck. Her attire consists of the same two pairs of sweat pants. When one is being worn, the other is being washed to extricate the patterns of licked yogurt on the legs – and the collection of dog hair. Those pants have traveled repeatedly lately – on a path to the refrigerator. Causing the drawstring waist to expand ever-so-subtly- every few days.
Currently she is able to hide the expanding waistband with one of her large sweatshirts. Clearly panic will be setting in soon as the temperatures rise and she will not be able to hide behind oversized sweatshirts. She’ll be ordering new oversized T-shirt’s – online of course.
Meanwhile her hair – well let’s just say I saw her eyeing some of my barrettes the other day. She won’t be able to hide behind a wool hat for long. This is going to be very interesting. There is a small blessing in that no one can visit. She’ll be ordering her groceries on-line so only the delivery clerk will get a glimpse of her appearance. No one will recognize her by the summer.
But back to my own grooming. When she announced her plans to “fluffen” me – I immediately hightailed it for other parts of the house. She chased me – trying to entice me with treats. She knows my weakness. I succumbed.
Now I had been groomed before she went away – and I have been groomed since she returned. BUT – my partner in crime – the beatnik – has been styling my coat lately – leaving a rather matted mess. Not to mention that we PONs do get mats no matter what – in some rather tender locations. So I must confess, I was feeling some knotty areas myself. I’m not talking about real mats – but more what I refer to as twisties- little tangled bits – usually very close to the skin.
When I am being groomed, if there was an Academy Award for Best Canine Actor – I would win. I have perfected heavy panting, squeaking and squirming – to an art form. And just as you think I might surely die from my agony – if you pull out a treat- my acting immediately stops. Immediately. I am fed probably the equivalent of an extra meal when I am groomed. So that makes it almost worth the performance.
But all jesting aside – I do have a rather serious note. Her highness is reasonably good at grooming me. BUT – we have many PON friends who are quite used to having their grooming needs met by a groomer. Regularly. However, during the current virus outbreak, groomers have closed their shops. Meaning a different type of outbreak – invasion of the mats and twisties. If we dogs get too many mats – or even twisties – it can actually become very uncomfortable. Now this is also true for other breeds – this is hardly an isolated PON problem. Those doodle dogs have wicked coats – which sometimes mat so desperately that they need to be sheared like a sheep.
So I have found a couple of videos if you find you are having a mat outbreak. Please do NOT ignore your dog’s grooming needs until this pandemic is over. Not unless you want an uncomfortable dog and you like the sheared sheep look.
Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Please stay home if you are able. If you are a front line worker – we thank you for all you do. Stay safe everyone.