Frodo here. Today I cannot believe the topic that I am advocating. There is real irony that I should be discussing something which I personally detest. But these are unique times. The topic? Grooming.

On Sunday after her highness finished her breakfast, she looked at yours truly and announced “ you are a mess. You need grooming.” I looked at her and immediately thought the following:

Honestly – she is….to be perfectly blunt – a train wreck. Her attire consists of the same two pairs of sweat pants. When one is being worn, the other is being washed to extricate the patterns of licked yogurt on the legs – and the collection of dog hair. Those pants have traveled repeatedly lately – on a path to the refrigerator. Causing the drawstring waist to expand ever-so-subtly- every few days.

Currently she is able to hide the expanding waistband with one of her large sweatshirts. Clearly panic will be setting in soon as the temperatures rise and she will not be able to hide behind oversized sweatshirts. She’ll be ordering new oversized T-shirt’s – online of course.

Meanwhile her hair – well let’s just say I saw her eyeing some of my barrettes the other day. She won’t be able to hide behind a wool hat for long. This is going to be very interesting. There is a small blessing in that no one can visit. She’ll be ordering her groceries on-line so only the delivery clerk will get a glimpse of her appearance. No one will recognize her by the summer.

But back to my own grooming. When she announced her plans to “fluffen” me – I immediately hightailed it for other parts of the house. She chased me – trying to entice me with treats. She knows my weakness. I succumbed.

Now I had been groomed before she went away – and I have been groomed since she returned. BUT – my partner in crime – the beatnik – has been styling my coat lately – leaving a rather matted mess. Not to mention that we PONs do get mats no matter what – in some rather tender locations. So I must confess, I was feeling some knotty areas myself. I’m not talking about real mats – but more what I refer to as twisties- little tangled bits – usually very close to the skin.

When I am being groomed, if there was an Academy Award for Best Canine Actor – I would win. I have perfected heavy panting, squeaking and squirming – to an art form. And just as you think I might surely die from my agony – if you pull out a treat- my acting immediately stops. Immediately. I am fed probably the equivalent of an extra meal when I am groomed. So that makes it almost worth the performance.

But all jesting aside – I do have a rather serious note. Her highness is reasonably good at grooming me. BUT – we have many PON friends who are quite used to having their grooming needs met by a groomer. Regularly. However, during the current virus outbreak, groomers have closed their shops. Meaning a different type of outbreak – invasion of the mats and twisties. If we dogs get too many mats – or even twisties – it can actually become very uncomfortable. Now this is also true for other breeds – this is hardly an isolated PON problem. Those doodle dogs have wicked coats – which sometimes mat so desperately that they need to be sheared like a sheep.

So I have found a couple of videos if you find you are having a mat outbreak. Please do NOT ignore your dog’s grooming needs until this pandemic is over. Not unless you want an uncomfortable dog and you like the sheared sheep look.

https://youtu.be/-rJVr9sQ1h8

https://www.dogster.com/dog-grooming/dealing-with-matted-dog-hair

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Please stay home if you are able. If you are a front line worker – we thank you for all you do. Stay safe everyone.

Yo everybody. Elroy here.

Well it’s official. After today, her highness is officially free. To go nowhere. And of course, that’s absolutely fine with us. Her self isolation is officially over – and really – it was probably technically over on Friday – when she got the results of her virus test. It was thankfully negative.

I was pretty concerned that if it was positive, she was going to have to sequester herself from us. Not that we canines can get the virus- but still we would want to be safe. The Boss just rolled his eyes when I told him my concern.

We had snow the other day, but it was quite warm yesterday- causing much of the snow to melt. The Boss still got in a few good rolls early in the morning- because it will soon be too late.

I was looking at photos and just last week there was a lot of ice on the lake. But now it is pretty much gone. And much to her highness’ shock, I decided to walk right in the water yesterday- even though I was on a leash. It happened so quickly- her highness tried to stop me but I walked right in. Mind you – I didn’t go far – just up to my belly. Frankly, it was rather chilly – so I was quite happy to come right out when instructed to do so. Meanwhile, the Boss just stared at me. He doesn’t go in there in the heat of the summer – so the idea of polar dipping was totally crazy in his opinion.

Besides numerous walks and lots of treats, and the occasional short car ride to the mailboxes at the end of the road, things at our abode have been pretty quiet. I probably shouldn’t say anything, but her highness hasn’t really accomplished a whole lot during her hibernation . You two leggeds are pretty funny – you complain that you don’t have “time” to do certain undesirable tasks – like organizing and shredding old bills and receipts. Or cleaning out closets. But now that you have the time – well – let’s just say I haven’t seen any big projects started around here. Or small projects for that matter. Wait – her highness DID finish this hooked rug thing that she was working on for like 2 years. But get this – it’s a rug but she won’t put it on the floor! OK- I guess the whole chewing thing with the dining room carpet could be the reason why she won’t put this rug on the floor. I guess she is trainable.

Oh – I almost forgot but I reminded myself when I mentioned chewing. So like when her highness went away for her little trip, she went out and bought new sheets for her bed. So it would be nice for the dog sitter. I mean she figured pillow cases without holes would be a nice touch.

So she’s been back two weeks. And the day before yesterday, while she was taking her shower….SOMEONE put a hole in one of the new pillowcases. I can’t say who it was – but it wasn’t me. Oooooeeee. Her highness was not impressed. But ya know what they say in dog training – ya have to catch us in the act. And whoever did it, was not caught. Wonder who it was…

Time for our walks. And today I’m thinking some Find the Bunny is long overdue. It’s either that, or another round of poke-a-PON….

…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay home and stay home.

Frodo here. Self isolation. Day 11. Yesterday her highness left us. Yes. She went out. But before you start shaking your head and screaming “no” – allow me to explain.

We have come to the conclusion that besides direct contact with someone who has the virus, or touching something that is contaminated- one can get “symptoms” of the virus through Facebook. That is correct. If you read too much on Facebook, or really even in the news or on the internet, you can suddenly begin to feel that you have symptoms. Then when you answer the online screening – you find that you should call the health hotline. Even though you basically feel OK, and you have no aches or pains and you have no fever – BUT you WERE out of the country. AND you have a stuffy nose and a cough. Such was the case in our house on Wednesday. To make a rather long story short, her highness needed to go for testing yesterday. She was probably more in a panic over the nasal swap than she was about having the virus. Again – watching videos on the internet does not instill the feeling that having a nasal swab is a joyful experience. Even the nurses who met with her, warned her it could be unpleasant. She braced herself for the sensation that someone was drilling into her brain via her nasal cavity. When they told her to open her eyes and that they were finished, she couldn’t believe it. She has had teeth cleanings that were 100x more uncomfortable.

Anyway, she immediately came home and now she waits for 24-72 hours for the result. She figures it is a win-win situation. Her cough is better than it was the other day. If she has the virus, she thankfully has a mild case. And if she doesn’t, well she doesn’t. Always look at the positives.

In the meantime, we have been hanging out in the house because we got more slushy snow yesterday. So. I had an idea….

Those who are long time readers of the blog, may have an image in your head of what our home looks like. You have certainly seen pictures of the lake – and photos of our trails and our driveway. But, I thought I should give you an inside photo tour of our abode, taken by yours truly. So here we go – in no particular order. And keep in mind – they are from MY point of view…

First stop. The dining room. This is the leg of a chair. Note the teeth marks. Or maybe it’s just normal wear. Sure it is.

Here is the Kuranda dog bed in the dining room. It has no teeth marks on the legs. They are made of stainless steel. Could be why… Ordinarily one might find enough dog hair under there to make a chihuahua. But her highness vacuumed before I started taking photos.

Here is a goose decoy in the dining room. Nobody has chewed him. Yet.

Um. Here’s another goose. He HAS been chewed…

Now I’m in the kitchen. With my favorite location. In the fridge. You will note the box of wine that was delivered the other day. I think her highness has had the odd glass. In the drawer are carrots and potatoes. Carrots for me and the beatnik. I often get parts of his because I eat mine quickly and he is the world’s sloppiest eater. Anyway, I LOVE what Viktor called the “buffet review.” It’s sticking your head in the refrigerator when the door is momentarily left open.

Here’s the gate to the DFZ.

We have been allowed in there more often recently, UNLESS yours truly jumps on the furniture and starts digging for a comfortable position OR unless the beatnik goes out and brings this in:

Then we have an immediate eviction.

Here I am in the DFZ with the vacuum cleaner. It is frequently out.

Here we have a couple of well behaved dogs in the DFZ. They are about 2.5 feet tall. Almost life sized. Well a small life sized Saint Bernard and I don’t know what breed the other guy is. Her highness collects dog stuff. They are pretty quiet.

Here’s a hooked rug in the DFZ that took her highness YEARS and YEARS to make. We are not supposed to go near it. Note the dog hair on it…

Here’s her highness’ slippers. In front of the sofa. I’m thinking it’s about time she splurge for a new pair..

Oh I forgot to show you the deck that is off the dining room. You will note the olfactory art on the glass. The beatnik was practicing his alphabet. It’s the letter “I”.

Here we are in the front hall. When you come in, there is a maple syrup bucket that holds walking sticks and these rain stick things. I think her highness got those to try and trick me that it’s raining out. Her sense of humor is odd.

Now I’m going in the bedroom. And I’m going to do a magic trick. Here’s the pony sized crate. With the mat. And no dog.

But remove the mat and voila!

OK. That’s enough for today. I didn’t go downstairs to the rec room or other bedrooms- I’ll leave that for another day. And I didn’t take photos in the bathroom. I mean really- who wants to see a toilet. Or toilet paper. Although I hear that stuff is pretty collectible these days….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. And STAY HOME.

Frodo here. OK. We love her. But we are becoming exhausted with her highness being home 24/7. We normally enjoy a lot of napping during the day – but now we are continually awakened from our slumber. Because we must follow her wherever she goes. No sooner do we get comfortable in the kitchen, then she goes to the bathroom. Of course we must wait outside the bathroom door. And if she’s in there too long (which in dog time is over 2 minutes), I may resort to barking to prompt her to speed things up. When she emerges, we travel to her next destination. Currently, the gates to the DFZ have been open when she is in there. So we are allowed in – past the border patrol. As long as we behave. It never fails that when the beatnik goes out of the DFZ and returns with his large Jolly Ball, that we are escorted back to the dining room. He has been told repeatedly that he is not allowed to bring that ball into the DFZ. Still – he tries.

If her highness decides to take a nap herself, we must of course, accompany her. Ordinarily the beatnik would lounge in his pony sized crate. But he can’t. Because that new mat is still inside. Yesterday we witnessed the following… He walked into his crate. He looked at the mat and immediately walked out. He then turned around and went back in. He stood for 20 seconds in his crate, staring at the mat. He came back out and went to sleep in the small hallway between the bedroom and the master bathroom.

Her highness was surprised to find him sleeping there the other day – and then she realized it’s like the area of his crate. But he can’t sleep in his crate. Because of the mat. If she takes the mat out, and puts it next to the crate, he will go in. How many weeks has this been going on?

Yesterday we didn’t take a long walk, because we had snow. When we first went out in the morning, it was wet, slushy flakes. And we know how much I adore wet and slushy. Walking as far as the road to get the paper was plenty far enough for yours truly. When her highness attempted to walk us down the road, I trudged along for about 10 feet before I pooped. Her highness announced we could go back and the sudden buoyancy in my steps was evident as I sped down the driveway. Although I didn’t want to be outside, it didn’t stop me from protesting when I was put in the house while the beatnik went down the trail to the lake to “do his thing.” I didn’t want to be out there – but I didn’t want them out there either.

Today we have sunshine in the forecast. Which is brilliant and we must take advantage of it – because there is snow in the forecast for tomorrow. But not to worry – this too shall pass.

You know – it’s a line you two leggeds need to keep repeating to yourselves. Over and over again…This too shall pass. This too shall pass…..

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay home!

Yo. Elroy here. So we are doing this self isolation thing with her highness. If we go out for a walk – the Boss barks like a crazy tornado if he sees anyone, so it’s easy to practice social distancing. He invented the term.

Not that we have actually seen anyone. Our neighborhood is thankfully very quiet. But we were super surprised that in the past couple of days, we have had knocks at our door – and then no one is there!!!!! BUT – food is left behind! The food fairies have arrived! Really. Her highness has had meals delivered – by our neighbors!!! As a result of their kindness, I think she’s eating better than she usually does!

I think everyone is worried that because it’s just us and her, that her highness might be going bonkers. But really – it’s not that different from our normal life. We always drive her bonkers. Mind you, she is now here 24/7 so the Boss and I can’t have a lick fest without being caught. Doesn’t stop us from trying though.

We thought things were all easy peasy until her highness got this idea that we needed to make a bunch of Public Canine Announcements. About this virus. Really? You mean two leggeds do not understand the idea of staying at home? It seems like a pretty simple concept to me – and let’s face it, my education doesn’t extend beyond two sheep herding lessons. Come on two leggeds. If YOURS TRULY knows how to sit and stay, it should be VERY easy for you! Unless of course you have to go to work -like human health care workers. Or veterinarians. Or others who work in ESSENTIAL services. Like food. Dog food to be more precise. But seriously- we need to thank all those workers who MUST go to work. They are putting THEIR health on the line. And all the other two leggeds need to do is stay home! Smarten up humans. Who would ever dream that I would be giving sound advice?! Yes -we are in strange and unchartered times – for sure.

Anyway – here are some of our announcements. We hope they give you a smile – although the message IS serious…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. And STAY HOME!

Frodo here. Well her highness has now completed 5 days of self isolation. Which is a bit of a misnomer because she is not by herself. The beatnik and I are here with her. And I must tell you, this 24/7 exposure is interesting. Quite interesting. Allow me to highlight my observations so far.

First off, she is talking to us even MORE than she normally does. It is incessant. She provides us with a running commentary about everything including the “plans” for day, which quite frankly do not vary greatly. She takes us for several walks, feeds us, plays games with us and spends time watching movies or documentaries- which I mentioned before.

She continues to look at and even enroll in some online courses, like the following:

Creating your own spring pussy willows from dryer lint and chop sticks.

Yoga with your dog (which did not go well.)

Creative recipes with two ingredients.

Using plastic wrap to style your hair. (Her hair issue is NOT going to be pretty in another week.)

Braiding your dog’s hair. (Both of us hid when she started watching this one).

Making Easter chick decorations from dog hair.

THANKFULLY – she does spend time talking to other humans either on the phone or through FaceTime. And several neighbors and friends have offered to do grocery shopping for her. Two friends even dropped off the following parcel at our front door, when there was a rumor that the liquor stores would be closing…

Probably THE most interesting observation thus far is her attire. She is outfitted in her dog clothes- sweat pants with large drawstring and a huge sweater – ALL of the time. ALL of the time. Except of course, at night when she puts on her pajamas. That’s at about 6:30PM.

Of course, MY biggest concern is that we will run out of dog food. Or treats. I KNOW that neighbors or friends will pick them up when we need them – but it DOES make me nervous. Not the beatnik. He never stresses about food. And even in these serious times when we should be grateful for our food, he spits out bananas. But not to worry – I pick up his portions. We’re obviously not worried about passing on a virus to one another. I would not suggest that humans do the same. Do not, I repeat, do not eat anyone else’s spit out banana. And STAY home as much as possible. Unless you are walking your dog. And even then, maintain social distancing.

Humans will get through this. If they are thoughtful and if they simply do nothing. Seriously- how hard can that be? If her highness- Miss-Huggy-Chatter-Mouth can isolate herself – anyone can. Mind you, if she didn’t have US – I’m not sure WHAT she would do. Yes – we canines come to the rescue once again…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. AND STAY HOME!

Frodo here. Well. Her highness has completed 3 days of self isolation, and already she has begun to act rather daft. Well- more daft than usual. For example, she posted on Facebook, her “plans” for the remainder of her isolation period. If you already saw them, just forge ahead:

Day 3. Enroll in YouTube Course: Cutting Your Own Hair 101

Day 4: Enroll in YouTube Course: Making Hair Dye from old shoe polish 101

Day 5: Enroll in YouTube Course: Hat making made easy

Day 6: Enroll in YouTube Course: Making Macrame Dog Leashes From Dog Hair found around the house

Day 7: Train my 10 year old dog to “sit” on command

Day 8: Enroll in TubeTube Course: Training your Dog to Sit when he doesn’t want to

Day 9: Enroll in You Tube Course: Gourmet cooking using crackers 101

Day 10: Enroll in YouTube Course: Creative uses for dried Lysol Wipes

Day 11: Play solitaire.

Day 12: Enroll in YouTube Course: Advanced solitaire

Day 13: Attempt to make hand sanitizer from Vodka

Day 14: Scrap the hand sanitizer and drink the vodka

She thinks she is amusing. We laugh along because we know she will give us treats. It’s all good fun while she watches endless documentaries and TV series on her iPad, while she hooks her rug and the Beatnik and I nap away the afternoon. However, things got “real” yesterday when she began watching a certain documentary. I have often heard that someone can see a particular film, and it is so frightening that they are forever affected by it. For her highness, the old movie “The Birds” by Alfred Hitchcock was one such film. She was very young when she first saw it- and it terrified her. Well yesterday, I decided to watch a 2019 documentary that she had come across quite by accident. Perhaps I should call it a dog-umentary. Here I am watching the horror film…

Here is the trailer for the most frightening film ever made – at least in MY opinion:

https://youtu.be/BAQqDFZE4_g

The title alone was enough to make my blood run cold, but when I saw the content – I could barely watch. Clearly her highness could not think this was entertaining?!

My fear is that this film might give her some crazy ideas as this social isolation drags onward. If I see her searching the cupboards for food dye and sharpening her scissors, I am OUT of here….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Yo everybody. Elroy here. Happy Saint Patrick’s Day. Yup. A French guy and a Polish guy celebrating an Irish holiday… Good times.

So her highness is a little over 24 hours into her 336 hour quarantine. And what does she decide to do? Take photos. Of us. In Dollar Store attire. And we KNOW how much I love that. But overall, I was pretty cooperative. I realized she wouldn’t give up – so better to cooperate and get it over with. Of course some photos are better than others. In this one I am half smirking…

In this one, I’m giving her highness a funny look…and I look like a unicorn.

But she kind of liked my sly look and it became this one…

This one isn’t bad….although the Boss looks more wild than normal…

This is her highness’ favorite- although clearly I don’t look like I have seen any lucky leprechauns.

Thank goodness that is over. And thank goodness she is in quarantine for the next two weeks. Because we KNOW what they have at the Dollar Store next. And because of the quarantine, she can’t go shopping! Maybe we do have the luck of the Irish. At least for the next two weeks!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Frodo here. Well were we ever surprised last night! Guess who arrived home? Her highness! We were shocked. She wasn’t due back for several days. We needed to tell the party guests to leave out the back door.

Her highness told us she had a wonderful time with her family. And with Percy. Who stayed in her good graces for the remainder of her visit. They went to the mountains which was a two hour drive, and he stayed curled up on her lap for most of the drive.

As you humans know, unless you have been living in a cave without internet or TV or radio, there is a major flu virus going around. And although her highness was visiting with family – and they were all well, the virus is spreading. And governments are closing borders.

Although we were in good hands, her highness knew she had to get home to us. She said if it weren’t for us – she probably would have stayed. It’s nice to know how much she loves us. Even though she didn’t have time to get guilt gifts. And she smelled like Percy when she walked in the door. So we’ll overlook those minor indiscretions.

We still love her and joyfully demonstrated our affection when she came in the door. We can’t WAIT for the next 14 days that she gets to spend with US. And us ALONE. Yup. Just the three of us. And a stuffed bunny. Let the quarantine begin!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Frodo here. Well despite the challenges with world health problems right now, her highness was able to leave us. And we are in the very capable hands of Char. Who loves us as much as we love her.

Her highness’ one flight was delayed by more than two hours – but she finally arrived in North Carolina wearing her hazmat suit and covered in Lysol. Just joking. About the Lysol part. It was actually Clorox.

Little did we know that she would be meeting a new friend on her visit – Percy, an all-American dog who can reportedly move faster than me and the beatnik combined. He loves to chase squirrels. And any other moving creature. He reportedly liked her highness – so much so that when no one was watching him for a few minutes, he slipped into her room and left her a “present.” He sounds like a dog we would really like.

Her highness is having a good visit with family – but is keep her eye on travel advisories. One thing we know for sure, she’ll be on a self-imposed quarantine for two weeks when she gets home. That’s 336 continual hours with US. Just THINK of all of the hours of Find the Bunny! I just hope we have enough poop bags..

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.