Nighttime escapades

My human woke up in the middle of the night and the first thing that ran through her mind was a game she played as a kid – called Twister.  For those not as ancient as she is – the game involved a floor mat with different colored circles.  A wheel was spun and it would direct the players where to place their right hand and foot, left hand and foot – on a specific colored circle.  Resulting in a variety of contorted postures! 

So why was my human thinking of that childhood game in the middle of the night?  Because that’s what it’s like with us sleeping on the bed.  She sometimes can’t put her legs straight down.  She has to be curled up, or lie crosswise.  She never knows if she’ll wake up with a dog sprawled out on one of her arms, effectively pinning her down on one side. She wakes up with her neck in a weird position,  sometimes resulting in a sore kink for the rest of the day.
Contortions are one thing.  She also has to contend with one dog on the bed. Two dogs on. Three dogs on. One gets off.  Two get off. One gets back on. Everyone gets off.  You get the idea.
And the thing that actually resulted in a total bedroom eviction the other night ( which RARELY happens) was licking.  Two of us were warned that inappropriate licking needed to stop.  One warning.  Two warnings. The next thing you know, all three of us were marched OUT of the bedroom and she put up a baby gate. Seriously?!  Seriously.  At 4AM, Einstein could no longer stand it – so he started barking out his demands to come in.  She relented at 4:30.
It would be nice if we could blame these nighttime escapades on a Full Moon.  But the reality?  The phases of the moon have nothing to do with it. We are just wild at night.  Come to think of it…it’s not that different from daytime!
Ya gotta love us.  Don’t ya….
Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 16

He did it….

It was only a matter of time…

On Thursday, my human had a super busy morning at work.  She was actually busy until 1:00, when she finally took a break to grab a coffee.  And while she was having her beverage, she decided to check in on the homefront via Big Brother. Perhaps not the best idea- or MAYBE the timing was just right.
She turned on the camera at the exact moment that the FG just “happened “ to be doing something – just below camera view.  But she could just see the top of his head.  And it was moving in an odd way.  And she had a feeling she knew what was happening.  He was chewing on the corner of the carpet- in the one area not protected by the chair barricade.  She turned on the microphone and like during the previous carpet chewing caper, instructed him to “Stop!” whatever it was he was doing.  He sat up and looked straight up at the camera.  
She realized she was probably too late- and couldn’t bear to watch any more.  Although about 10 minutes later she did tune in again and saw he had moved.  It’s like watching a scary movie – you want to see what’s happening- but you look through your fingers.
When she got home, she immediately came in to check the rug.  Sure enough.  He had started his handiwork.  Make that teethiwork.

She looked at him and sighed. He didn’t have a clue what he had done when she uttered the infamous “What did you do?” phrase.  As IF he would say”Why I chewed the carpet. Hope it’s OK.”
After supper, we were all sequestered on the deck while she attempted to repair the binding with some black fabric.  Trust me.  The following photo looks better than the actual rug.  Her steamstress skills are NOT her forte.  But at a distance of 40 feet, it doesn’t look bad.

Yesterday she was actually off, but went out for the day.  This time, the ENTIRE edge of the rug was covered by chairs- and the repaired corner had the vacuum cleaner sitting on it. When she came home, the carpet was intact. 
Next I predict that the legs on those chairs that form the barricade may become victim to some interesting wood carving experiments.  Not that a couple haven’t already been sampled while standing upright. 
Oh.  And remind me to tell you how I chewed an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper the other night while my human was sleeping….
Thank goodness she loves us….
Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 15

Confucius say…

Today is the birthday of Confucius – the famous politician, and philospher who lived a long time ago.  He was a smart guy who wrote a LOT and had many famous quotes. And, although I didn’t read ALL of the literature on this fact – it appears that “Confucius was one of the first people in Chinese histroy to be recorded as the owner of a pet dog”.*  Who knew?  If you want to read a detailed account about the role of canines in early Chinese history, I will attach an article at the end of my blog.  It’s heavy reading – but kind of interesting… Now keep in mind that the article talks about the practice of eating Fido – so BE PREPARED.  That’s OBVIOUSLY not a practice I support – but the article gives an idea of how the practice began. 
As I did a few years ago, I have taken a couple of his quotes and paired them with photos. Here they are:

And as I also did before, I have written my very own quotes.  Well, they are not entirely my own – and you may recognize parts of them….
  • Great minds think… about how to get into the treat jar.
  • Anything that can go wrong probably will… happen as my human is on the way out the door to work.  And we have probably caused it…
  • Hell hath no fury… like a PON when supper is late.
  • Ignorance is… not knowing how to counter surf.
  • A penny saved… buys more dog treats. 
  • I think, therefore I …end up in trouble.
  • I’ve never met a …treat I didn’t like. 


     That’s it for my philosophizing for today.  It’s hard work being a blog writer, a philosopher, 
     a guardian, and a comedian. 
     It is FRIDAY!!!!!!!!  Let the weekend begin!

     Have a good one!  Peace and paws up!
     Seizure free days: 14

Here is that article… 

Off line dating

Well the on-line dating project has had dismal results.   No really good local options.  My human thinks she could get a job helping people to write profiles about themselves – although I’m not so sure she should be thinking she is so good at it – her writing obviously hasn’t resulted in any REALLY good potential partners for her.  But when people have names like “Biggest loser,” “Trying AGAIN” and “Trainwreck,” you have to wonder.  Why would someone call themselves that?!  One guy listed one of his sumer hobbies as “winnie roasting.”  I THINK he meant “weenie” roasting.”  Either that or Mr. Pooh better hide.

We suggested she more wisely put the money into more dog treats.  Or vet bills….

The other day we were having a fetch-a-thon in the backyard.   First the FG did his thing and then Einstein and I went out. As we know, I go crazy.  All common sense and ability to process and reason goes out the window when I play fetch.   My human throws one direction and I go first (because I HAVE to) and then while I take off, Einstein is thrown another fetch toy in the opposite direction.  He’s pretty smart.  He knows we alternate directions each time – so while I am running to get my toy which has been thrown, he starts running in the direction that he KNOWS his WILL be thrown. 

Anyway, at one point my human tossed the toy and retrieving it meant either jumping up a three foot wall by an embankment or running around the wall.  Einstein went up the wall.  No problem. And then he jumped down the from the wall.  Then it was my turn.  And I followed his lead.  No problem.  We alternated and this time, Einstein chose to go around the wall.  And he jumped down.  And then it was my turn to go that way.  I was in a frenzy moment – and wasn’t watching where I was going – I was so intent on getting the toy quickly.  Bam.  I made it half way up the wall.  And I tried again – and was successful.  And then I jumped down.  My next turn was on the flat part of the lawn while Einstein did the wall thing.  When I returned from my easy retrieve – my human took one look at me and I was limping with a sore front leg.  It likely was the result of my missed wall turn.  Of course I still wanted to play fetch.  My human traded for a treat and said “Oh no buddy, we have to stop.”  I looked at her forlornly and hobbled unwillingly into the house. 

I was put on restricted walking the rest of the day and the same the next morning – when I seemed to be much better.   But when my human got home from work, I managed to bolt out before she could grab me to put my leash on.  I did my typical “attack Einstein routine” – spinning and barking and jumping like I haven’t just spent the entire day with him.  Needless to say, I was hobbling by the end of my joy run.

Yesterday I was NOT allowed to horse around at ALL.  NO OFF LEASH ACTIVITY.   I was much better – but my human wasn’t taking any chances.   She thinks our car could go on autopilot to the vet.  No wonder he has gone into sem-retirement.

Hey – is there an on-line dating site where you can meet veterinarians?!  Now THAT would be a good match!!!!

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days:  13 

Vegan dogs. Seriously.

Vegan diets for dogs.  Are you KIDDING me?!  Here’s an article about us canines and vegan diets:

OK, if my human goes that route, I’m moving out.  No offense to vegan humans – but I’m just not sure we canines could give up all meat or fish.  At least not the dogs in this house.  I mean technically I should be able to forage in the woods, right?   Like a  wild animal.  And I DO like to eat grass.  But let’s face it, we canines have changed a lot since our wolf days.  I am not prepared to dig for grubs or eat tree bark.  I prefer my meals served in my silver bowl.  OK it’s stainless steel but still – I like to be served.  And I am NOT living ONLY on lettuce and carrots.

The whole dog food topic is enough to make a human’s head explode.  Feed raw. Don’t feed raw.  Feed kibble.  Don’t feed kibble.  Make your own food.  Don’t make your own food.  And it can result in some pretty intense battles on-line.  It’s ALMOST worse than talking politics.  ALMOST.

We went the raw route for awhile.  And it was FINE as long as my human didn’t want to eat herself .  Prepared raw diets are a bit pricey when you have a three dog household.  And then to prepare your own dog food, you really should know what the heck you are doing.  And she didn’t feel she was an expert.  Not to mention that she barely has time to prepare her OWN meals.  So she buys THE most expensive kibble possible.  And then the picky Picard ALSO gets dehydrated food mixed in with his kibble.  Because he won’t eat JUST his kibble.  Which is the polar opposite of us PONs who would eat rancid kibble manufactured in 1981 if it was presented to us. Vacuum garbage guts.  That’s us.  Although I supose anything THAT bad COULD have some “after effects…”

You see these videos proclaiming the horrors of grocery store food.  They contain mostly ingredients that have 5-6 syllables, and LOTS of fillers.   Not to mention artificial colors.  I guess it’s kind of like feeding your kid red candies (colored with the infamous Red Dye #2) and sugary cereal for breakfast every day.  Not a great idea.

That being said….remember Barney?  My human’s first dog?  The one who came from the shelter?  The one who was labeled the “biter” and who lived up to his name?  The one who taught my human patience?   Well Barney was her FIRST dog as an adult – before she knew ANYTHING about canine nutrition.  I mean her dog growing at home up was fed grocery store food.  So that’s what she fed Barney.  She even gave him those red burger-like patties that are probably made of ingredients that make you glow in the dark.  He got the kind of treats that cost like $5 for a 50lb bag.  He got any kind of leftover – some of which he foraged for himself in the garbage – like the turkey carcass.  The one he hid under the cushion on the sofa.  Yup – Barney ate crap.  Sorry for my explicit vocabulary – but that about sums it up.   And Barney lived to 17.5.   Not a bad age.  Heck – maybe all those chemicals and preservatives actually preserved him.  He was pickled.

So the article basically says the jury is out on whether a vegan diet IS good for us.  I’m leaning toward NO.  The one sentence I did like was the following:   “Chewing can be an immensely satisfying and relaxing experience for dogs.” Now THAT – I can agree with. The question is – does that include carpets and linens?

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 12

Shattering the morning silence

Fall is here – signaling cool nights, misty mornings and sunny days.  Yesterday was a PERFECT fall morning. And bonus – it was Sunday so we got to go for a longer morning walk.  We even let my human sleep in – until 6:15!  Yes -we can be thoughtful…

So imagine bright skies, and mist over the lake and ponds.  And quiet.  Peace and quiet.  Except for the songbirds and the distant call of the loons – who have not yet left for the winter.  Ah yes.  Peace in the countryside.  Until the stillness is shattered by a woman shouting like a banshee “Leave it!  Drop it! NOW!”
We were JUST heading home. Einstein and I were out for the first walk – and despite the fact that the puparazzi HAD to take a few photos, we had a great walk.  We sniffed and licked and peed – numerous times.  And as we were almost back to our driveway, Einstein went into the tall grass at the side of the road.  And he emerged.  With his head held low.  Really low.  Which as all people owned by dogs know, signals that he has SOMETHING he doesn’t want anyone to see. I was so busy sniffing the ground that I didn’t notice that my brother had bounty.  My human pulled Einstein’s leash close and instructed (well shouted) that he drop whatever he had. “El-Vik-Frodo” she shouted.  That’s what happens when you live in a mutiple dog household – everybody’s name is said as the human quickly is shouting at one dog.  Sometimes it is Vik-Fro- Elroy.  We have six combinations. She never says the right name first.  Must be an age thing.  Anyway, she went to pry open Einstien’s mouth and he dropped the treasure.  Part of a pizza crust.  Who knows how it got in the bushes – either some trash throwing human, a bird who found it too heavy to carry or a raccoon who raided a green organics bin.  Of course as soon as I spotted the treasure, I dove for it.  So now my human had to separate the two of us and get the crust out of my mouth.  All the while she is shouting at us – and no doubt waking up any neighbors who might have wished to sleep in. I don’t know how she did it – but we were dragged away with the treasure left right in the middle of the road.  What a waste.  There are dogs starving somewhere in the world – and she leaves perfectly good food in the road…It’s a sin…
Aren’t you glad you are NOT our neighbor?! 
Today she is off, so we are expecting long walks again.  Another prefect morning is in the forecast.  And with any luck – that pizza crust may still be there….
Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!
Seizure free days : 10

The curse of Big Brother

I almost HATE to discuss this topic.  For fear I will jinx things more…

My loyal readers KNOW that my the FG has a bad habit of decimating carpets.   We’ve been through several since his arrival as a puppy.  He starts his “teeth crafting” and then we PONs join in.  And when my human can no longer tolerate the unsightly floor covering, she buys a new one.  In fact, my human bought one for the dining room….and it was ceremoniously unrolled on June 28.  And we were taking wagers as to how long it would remain intact.  

Up until now, NO ONE has touched it.  BUT – the other day my human was at the counter in the kitchen and looked up JUST in time to see the FG holding one edge in his mouth.  She shouted “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”  and raced over to pull it out of his mouth.  He just looked at her.  

Fast forward to the next day and she is at work.  She was at her computer and she got a “ding” indicating that Big Brother detected some “movement at home.”  She doesn’t look at her phone to check on us every time she gets the “ding” but since I had those seizures she has been checking on me a bit more frequently.  So she looks at the screen on her phone and as the picture becomes clear, she spots the FG.  And he’s pulling up the carpet.  

Imagine her reaction.  She’s sitting in her office at work and watching the new carpet about to be “stylized.”  That’s one of the problems with Big Brother.  You see the train about to go off the track and you can’t do much… So she does the only thing (short of getting in her car and going home) she can think of.  She runs and shuts her office door, hits the microphone on her phone and shouts “ELROY LEAVE IT.”   Luckily the person who occupies the next office wasn’t in.  Although they may have heard her on the floor below.  She anxiously watches as the FG drops the carpet and looks around.   Einstein immediately runs to the window closest to where Big Brother is located – with the FG following.   She doesn’t want to say anything else – because she doesn’t want them to figure out that she’s not REALLY there.  I would have though Einstein would have figured it out – but I guess he’s not as smart as I think.  They looked out the window, walked around the room, and looked out again.

She watched for a minute or two until they settled down. And then she said a prayer that the carpet would be OK when she got home.  And it was.

So now when she goes to work, there is a line of chairs lying on their sides – all along the edge of the carpet.  It looks like a small fortress surrounding the dining room table.  Hey – maybe we could use it as some kind of agility course.  Now THAT could be fun while my human is at work.  Imagine her watching THAT on Big Brother…

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!
Seizure free days: 9

Fall. And other special stuff.

Ah.  The first day of fall.  Sunny warm days and crisp, cool nights.  And the leaves are starting to come down.  Which means the vacuum cleaner will be going into overdrive the next few weeks.  We PONs have a habit of gathering leaves at this time of the year and bringing them into the house for further examination.  It’s our “collection.”  Needless to say, our collection doesn’t stay around for very long.

In addition to being the first day of fall, on this day in 1888, according to the crazy calendar, the first issue of National Geographic magazine was published.  But hang on.   Color me confused.  I looked at my crazy calendar and found that date.  But THEN I looked at ANOTHER date on the crazy calendar and it listed OCTOBER 1 as the date of the first publication.  In fact, I even wrote about that last year.

Maybe they published two issues.  Who knows.  I think I need to write to the crazy calendar people…

Anyway, while searching around, I found this short video about the History of Dogs – created by National Goegraphic.  It’s a pretty good summary.  A bit depressing bout purebred dogs – but that IS the reality.  I’ve ranted about that before – so I’ll curb it.  For now.

Hello – but does anybody see a resemblance between those baby wolves in the video and this critter?

OK, the baby wolves have their ears up.  While in this photo, the FG still looks like the Flying Nun.  But there IS a resemblance.  Do wolves toss their bunnies in the air?   Wait.  Don’t answer that – I realize THEIR bunnies aren’t stuffed.

It’s Saturday.  So you know what THAT spells.  MORE walks.  Although maybe not – because we DID have a “Special Weather statement” about rain and wind for at least PART of the day.  Humans have a such weird vocabulary.  “Special” should mean something good – or even unique or remarkable.   But “special” paired with “weather” is never anything good.  They never use it to describe a great sunny day.   To ME – “special weather” would signal clear skies and sunshine.   That’s SPECIAL.  There is NOTHING special about wet dogs.  Ever.

OK. That’s my rant for today.  Stay tuned tomorrow for the FG’s latest journey down the road of bad behavior …

Have a good one!  Peace and paws up!
Seizure free days: 8

We had a fever!!

Holy fetch toy!  A HUGE  thank you to all my blog readers.  I asked if people MIGHT “Share” my blog yesterday and when my human looked at our “stats” mid morning, she nearly fell off her chair!  She’s really not all that savvy when it comes to this blog stuff – but she does look at something called Pageviews each day to see how many people have basically clicked on one of our pages.  At least that’s what she THINKS Pageviews are.  Anyway, around mid-morning on an average day, she would be happy to see 300.  But it was more than twice that by mid morning.   And by the end of the day, we surpasssed our “most read” blog by a LANDLSIDE.  I don’t know that it would be classified as “viral” but we sure had a fever!!!!   Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!!  To quote Sally Field: “You LIKE me!”  (And if you don’t know who Sally Field is or what my human is referring to,  you’re just not as ancient as her… )

Meanwhile, we had an evening of rainy weather here the other night – which meant no moonlight walks.  Yet as my human read her email after supper, she had three canines who were mesmerized with her every movement and who CLEARLY wanted to DO something.  She sighed and said those magical words we have not heard all summer – “Find the Bunny?” with a rather questioning tone.  Einstein and I went crazy and the FG looked at us (not knowing what all the hoopla was about) and joined in the excited dog dance.  Those of you who are owned by dogs know the dance – the spinning, leaping, barking four step that signals something GREAT is about to happen.  “Great” can simply include the opening of the treat jar.  Most dogs have a strong dancing gene that erupts frequently.  Especially in THIS house.  But I digress.

My human retrieved the somewhat lopsided stuffed rabbit from his hiding place in the garage.  And of course, I HAD to be the first to play.  Why?  Because I would bark and moan incessantly if anyone else went first.  It’s the ONE time I actually out-bark Einstein.  Einstein and the FG were sequestered in the front hall where they proceeded to apply lovely olfactory art to the french door as they watched me play.

I was diligent in sitting and staying in one room while my human hid the bunny in another.  And I found the bunny in 6/6 trials.   And I came BACK every time.  But to get the bunny back, my human would essentially throw treats at me to get me to release my hold.  We KNOW how I LOVE to fetch things…and not let go…

Next it was Einstein’s turn.  He cheats.  As soon as my human leaves the room, he gets up and tries to watch where she is going.  He also takes off before my human says the “release words” of “Find the Bunny.”  When he breaks his stay, she makes him go back to his starting point,  resulting in an argumentative barking tirade.  She ALWAYS gets her way on this one.   Despite his cheating, he was also 6/6.

And then it was the FG’s turn.  As soon we was released from the confines of the front hall – where Einstein and I now longily watched him – he ran to look for the bunny BEFORE it was hidden.   It was still in my human’s hand.  That’s our FG.  Still doesn’t QUITE get the rules of the game.  My human went to get him and to remind him of the process.  Now mind you, he DOES  sit and stay while the bunny is being hidden.  Every time.  He literally THROWS himself into a sit.  And he doesn’t move a muscle.  And when he takes off to find the bunny, I swear I can hear the dishes in the cupboards crash together.  And he finds the bunny.  He was 6/6.  BUT as for bringing the now soggy hare back – nope.  Never.  My human has to go into the room where she inevitably finds him staring at the rabbit on the ground, and then he grabs it and tosses it in the air.  My human gets extra exercise when the FG plays.  She also gets to retrieve the bunny.  So really, she gets to play too.

After 18 rounds of Find the Bunny (6 each – although the FG’s turns aren’t REALLY full rounds because he never comes back), we were all suitably tired.  And happy.

And GUESS what?  The big box?  I had two new Chuck-Its!  So now we can play fetch outside again!  As long as it stays light out….

Thank you AGAIN for  reading,  sharing and for your kind comments.  All of you know how special we dogs are – and isn’t it crazy how besides providing unconditional love and incredible joy, we can ALSO bring people together?  It’s clear.  So obviously, more dogs need to be in politics…

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 7

Share a blog day

It’s a BIG day.   It’s my blog anniversary!  1428 posts.  FOUR years of writing something almost every day.  I see in the beginning that we didn’t INTEND to write every day.  And then… somehow it happened.  We have to be crazy and no doubt there are MANY people who think we are!  

We have shared good times, bad times, and some pretty boring times.  But because we have this steady core of readers who support us with comments and feedback – we keep plugging away.  

I want to know the record for the most blog posts by a dog.  I started doing a bit of research to see how we measure up with other dog blogs.  My research was pretty depressing. We didn’t make the Top 20 Dog Blog sites.   Actually we are not even in the Top 100.  But  you know what?!  There are some pretty fancy dog blogs out there….but in all those fancy sites, I couldn’t find one that writes every day.  And I couldn’t find one with over 1000 posts!!!! Yet they have a gazillion followers!  That’s the depressing part. I think we either need to retire or up our game.   Or I need a PR rep.  I’ll have to advertise…

I looked back at one of my earlier posts about what I have learned about humans while writing this blog.  And I think the information bears repeating…so I will plagiarize my own words!

  • Humans  get a license.  It allows them to drive.  It allows them to drink.  But not at the same time.  We dogs get a license.  It doesn’t allow us to drive OR drink.  Seems a bit unfair to me. 
  • For some reason, many humans love Fridays.  To us dogs, every day is Friday.
  • Humans like to bathe and shower.  Every day.  Most of us dogs would be content with an annual cleansing.  You might think that given our superior sense of smell, we would want to be fresh smelling.  But our preferences in the odor department are much more “earthy” than those of humans.  So bathing and smelling like lavender is just NOT a goal for us. Give us a dead fish and we’re happy to roll a dash behind our ears.
  • Humans generally like to eat different things for each meal.  While variety is nice, most of us dogs are content to eat the same thing.  For every meal. 
  • Humans will spend significant amounts of money on toys for us.  The reality?  Most of us would be content with the cardboard from a roll of paper towel or toilet paper.  Or better yet – give us the whole roll. Shredding can be entertaining.
  • Humans do not need to circle, dig or ball up bedding before going to sleep. They are content to just lie down.  Very odd.
  • Humans agonize trying to think of a name for us when we are puppies.  Then they call us a variety of “other” names.  Like me.  I’m Viktor.  Viktorino.  Vik.  And even Trino.  And then they wonder why we don’t come when called.
  • Humans set “rules.”  Like no dogs on the furniture.  Or in the DFZ.  With patience and persistence, we dogs can generally have any rule changed.  We have the “power.”
  • Dog people are all alike whether they own a chihuahua or an Irish Wolfhound or a multi-breed dog.  They all like to share stories and pictures of us.  And they also do this thing where they gravitate toward other people who own the SAME breed of dog.  I guess misery loves company – in some cases…

Overall though, I do think humans ARE pretty cool and when they are well trained, they can be a pleasure to own… 

Thanks for reading today.  And if you want to do me a favor and you are reading this on Facebook, MAYBE just today (for my special day) you could Share my post?  I have a goal of making the Top 10,000 Dog Blog sites for 2018.  And with your help… maybe I’ll make it!  But if you’re not one of those folks who like to “Share” that’s OK.  I do understand.  I don’t like to share treats either – so I get it. 

Oh – and by the way- a big box arrived in the mail yesterday.  I think she caved.  I think I saw some new Chuck-Its.  Wait.  I hope she doesn’t make me wait until Christmas to try them out…
Have a good one!  Peace and paws up! 
Seizure free days: 6