OK. I confess. I was bad. I mean I might as well confess – because, after all, I was caught red handed – or should I say, red pawed. My badness streak was actually on Tuesday. I did SEVERAL naughty things. Starting in the morning…
First off, I have decided that it is GREAT fun to stare out the window and bark – if the bunny is there – or even if I THINK he is out there somewhere. So while my human was getting her breakfast, I stood and barked and growled. At nothing. Sending my brothers into an unnecessary frenzy. Great fun.
THEN, my human put her breakfast on the table, and stepped away for 4.6 seconds to get her coffee. I assumed she had left it for me. She turned around just in time to see me standing with two paws on a chair, and JUST starting to take a bite. Ever hear a banshee scream? That was my human as she raced across the room. OK. OK. I was just checking to be sure it was safe for her to eat. Seriously – chill out.
While she went to work, I behaved – I had to rest up for more naughtiness when she got home. And that’s when I did my grand finale for the day. My human had left one of her favorite fleece jackets on the bed. And she went in the bathroom. Now we know we aren’t allowed on the bed. In theory. So when she stepped out of the bathroom and saw me on the bed, she didn’t get too stressed. Until she noticed that I was DOING something. “Hey” she said “WHAT are you doing?” I think she thought I was chewing one of the pillows – another favorite activity. Nope. I was chewing a hole in the pocket of her fleece. BECAUSE – there were TREATS in the pocket. I mean WHAT do you expect?! All of her clothes have treats in the pockets. And treats are meant to be eaten! But bad enough I chewed the inside of the pocket…I kind of put a hole right through the front of the fleece. I created easy treat access. I was doing her a favor. Kind of.
My human was NOT impressed with my antics. Good thing I’m cute. Looks like I’ll have to be on my best behavior for the next few days to make up for my naughtiness. Well – a few days might be a bit much to ask. I’ll be good today. One day at a time….
© Linda Wozniak
Month: March 2016
The Grass is Always Browner…
Vaporizing
Time to take a look at the news…
There was the tragedy in Brussels the other day – when some terrorists set off explosives, killing 35 people and injuring over 300 more. Humans. Why can’t you just get along? You know, I bet those terrorist humans don’t own dogs. How could they?
As a result of this recent attack, the demand for us canines is going up. Well – certain canines. They call them Vapor Dogs. These dogs are different from scent detection dogs who sniff out parcels or backpacks or other objects that contain explosives. Vapor dogs can detect the scent of explosives in the air. They can actually walk through a crowd – and determine if bomb components are in the area. And they will follow the vapor until they are close to the source. These dogs are in so much demand now – that the trainers of these dogs can’t even meet the demand.
I’m a Vapor dog. When it comes to wildlife. And actually, Frodo is too. Yesterday morning, my human took Frodo and I for a walk with our buddy Jackson. She let the good dog, Frodo, off leash with Jackson, and for a few moments, also let me off leash. And everything was going OK. Until our vapor skills kicked in. Frodo suddenly put his nose in the air – and stared toward the woods. And then I smelled it. And we both headed for the woods. Frodo of course came back when called. But not me. The vapor was tooooooooo strong. And all the shouting by my human and Jackson’s human could NOT convince me to come back. My human wasn’t too stressed as I was wearing a collar with my tags and a bell. And unfortunately, for me, the bell scared off whatever it was I was vaporizing. So within two minutes, I was running back to the group. At which point, you guessed it, I was put back on a leash. Vapor skills squashed. Again.
And in a good news story, there is a guy in Denver, Colorado by the name of Steve Greig. A couple of years ago, Steve was very sad when his dog went to the Rainbow Bridge. So since then, he has decided to adopt old dogs – that no one else would want to adopt. He has 10 senior dogs, and even has a pig and a chicken. And I know there are other humans like Steve out there. It’s refreshing to hear stories about GOOD people – since the news is often full of stories about that small percentage of the population who are BAD. Sometimes we need to keep that in mind…
And on the homefront news – Paxton is eating even more food. Mind you, he INSISTS that my human feed him by hand. He is TOTALLY milking this sick thing. But my human doesn’t care – she would stand on her head if it would make him eat. Well. Maybe not exactly stand on her head. Her acrobatic skills are NOT that good. And then we would be nursing HER.
Excuse me while I go and see what my human is doing – I THINK I smell the vapor of dog food. Have a great day!
© Linda Wozniak
3 Reasons to celebrate
And besides Dyngus Day, we have ANOTHER reason to celebrate today. It’s my human’s mother’s BIRTHDAY. It wouldn’t be appropriate to share her age, but let’s just say it’s somewhere between 86 and 88. Because I am her favorite grand-dog – or I like to think I am, I want to wish her a super day – with extra licks and tail wags. I know she reads my blog, after she checks her email and Facebook every day. Yes, she uses her computer – a LOT. How cool is that?! She’s quite the octogenarian!
I didn’t find the bunny yesterday – but we did have a good romp outside in the afternoon. And guess what?! Paxton is starting to eat more!!! Now he’s still not feeling 100%, but he is definitely feeling better. So yet ANOTHER reason to celebrate!
Hoppy Easter
Hoppy Easter! I was thinking that with all the attention on Paxton, my human would forget about the horrid bunny ears from the dreaded Dollar Store. Who KNEW she stored them away from last year?! Had I known, I would never have stepped into the garage aka grooming room aka torture photo studio. There is a somewhat happier photo on my Facebook page – because she PROMISED that IF I smiled, I would get a treat. AND it would be the LAST photo.
My human took Paxton to the Vet yesterday to get a shot – he couldn’t take some of his pills because they were to be taken on a full stomach – and he wasn’t quite full. My human told the Vet he wasn’t eating much – at which point Paxton proceeded to eat about 8 biscuits that the Vet kept giving him. He was even looking for more. My human was shocked and rather embarrassed. Way to go Pax. The Vet says my human just needs to stay calm – and not stress so much. Good advice Dr. Vet – can you add a bottle of vodka to Pax’s prescription? Not for him, obviously. After all, too much alcohol probably resulted in this liver problem in the first place – we had QUITE the party while my human was at Crufts. But don’t tell her.
Yesterday morning when my human took Paxton outside in the morning – HE saw the Easter bunny. That white one that has been hanging around our yard. Taunting me. Clearly he was hiding eggs. Or more likely, leaving a trail of “bunny balls.” Paxton looked at the bunny, and looked at my human as if to say “Thank GOODNESS Viktor is not out here.”
Since it IS Easter, I think it is VERY fitting that we play several rounds of Find the Bunny. I’m not sure Paxton will want to play, but maybe. He did eat a bit more food yesterday. Those prayers and good wishes continue to work wonders.
Anyway, have a VERY happy Easter. Don’t eat too many chocolate bunnies – especially if you are a canine. In fact, if you are a canine – don’t eat ANY chocolate bunnies. But I bet those Marshmallow Peeps are OK, though…And I’m warning my human to keep away from the bunnies too – she’s still paying the price for the Halloween candy. Humans.
Have a joyful day!
© Linda Wozniak
New soap opera…
So here we are starting our very own medical soap opera. Given the colours of two of the characters, I like the title, Grey’s Anatomy. But my human tells me that has already been used. How about Healing Hands – Healing Paws. Kind of tacky – but humans love that kind of stuff. And here is the list of characters:
A VERY Good Friday
I am excited to be writing this blog today. My big bro is HOME!!!!! Thanks to all of you for sending prayers, good thoughts and best wishes. All of those positive vibes – from all around the world – worked. Now he is not without problems – and some testing still has to come back. But contrary to what the Vet was thinking before his surgery- he was not full of cancer. He DOES have an enlarged liver and the doctors have to find out why – and they did something called a biopsy – but he had no visible tumors or masses. Anywhere.
Another day of prayers….please…
Today is the day that Paxton goes to the Vet again. This time they will take a look around and see if they can figure out why he isn’t feeling well. He wasn’t allowed to have anything to eat or drink after midnight last night. Talk about torture. No breakfast. A PON’s worst nightmare. Actually ANY skipped meal is a PON’s worst nightmare.
My human is dropping him off on her way to work. Not that she will get much work done – waiting by the phone. And Frodo and I will be anxiously awaiting news at home. Chances are good he will be wearing the cone of shame when he gets home.
It’s a good thing my human is off for the next four days. She can baby him – and of course play multiple games with Frodo and I while Pax sleeps. Yesterday morning we all played the “let’s get up at 4AM game” – just because. My human woke up because Pax was standing and breathing in her face – so she thought he needed to go out. She quickly got dressed, and yet by the time she did, he was fast asleep. She took him out anyway. He didn’t REALLY need to go. But then Frodo and I wanted to go. First Frodo and then me. UNFORTUNATELY, I had a rather awkward accident – the horrible cling-ons. I didn’t even want to walk home. I was walking like a cowboy who just got off a LONG trail ride. So at 4:25 yesterday morning, I was getting a rather unwelcome half-bath. With the back half of me being scrubbed. After THAT was done, my human realized she had forgotten to put out the garbage the night before – so she loaded cans into the vehicle and drove them up to the road. All before 4:50AM. Of course Frodo and I then wanted breakfast – but she said “NO WAY” – and she went back to bed for a half hour. The woman has no stamina.
So today we await news on our big brother. Please say a prayer to Saint Roch – the patron saint of dogs – or Saint Francis – patron saint of animals. I think those guys have an “in” with the BIG guy. Paws crossed we have some good news tomorrow….
© Linda Wozniak
National Puppy Day
B) 36
C) 63
D) 94
What’s tripe?
The Paxton story continues…
So my human was up before dawn because we had a bad weather forecast for yesterday- and there was NO WAY she would miss Paxton’s appointment. He wasn’t hungry in the morning at all, and as usual, Frodo and I screamed at him for not eating. We have become accustomed to being sequestered while he eats – or he doesn’t eat. If one could literally translate what we are saying it would be something like ” FOR THE LOVE OF HEAVEN, WHY are you not eating? PLEASE, PLEASE let us show you how it’s done!!!!!!!!!”
They left the house about an hour early – at which point snow had turned to freezing rain. Old Pax bounded into the vehicle – he was just relieved to get away from us screaming PONs. He had his ultrasound. And the good news? The Vets saw no big tumors. The bad news? They still don’t know why he is sick. So he will be having something called exploratory surgery on Thursday. I hope when they go exploring that they find something he might have eaten. Probably not likely – but let’s face it, Pax HAS been known to ingest things that most dogs wouldn’t even consider eating.
And speaking of eating, on the way home from the Vet, my human stopped at the Pet Food place to see if she could find SOMETHING he would like. The girls there know us, and they filled a bag with a bunch of samples for Pax to try. And my human bought something called “canned tripe.” I have no idea WHAT that stuff is – but ooooooo-eeeee, it smells like it would be good to roll in. And from Paxton’s reaction, the stuff tastes yummy too!! He QUICKLY ate a half of a can. Without stopping. It’s the best his appetite has been in a few days. What IS that tripe stuff? Frodo said I probably don’t want to know.
So we are back to the waiting game with Paxton. And as we know, waiting is not something I like to do – and neither does my human. But for now, Paxton will get WHATEVER he wants to eat, and Frodo and I will continue our mournful serenade. And we will enjoy every minute we have with our big bro, and keep praying that the doctors can make him better.
Now I just need to figure out how to use a can opener to get into that tripe stuff …