Gotcha Day

Hey everybody! It’s Squirmy! And GUESS what day today is?! You give up?! It’s my Gotcha Day! (Not to be confused with the Polish word gacie- which is pronounced almost the same as gotcha – but means underpants…) Nope- it’s not my nickers day – it’s the day I got My Enforcer!!!!

It was a year ago today that she drove through closed borders across provinces and countries – to meet my “Creator” – Maggie who bred my Mom, Maya to my Dad, Baxter – and voila – they got me! And four other siblings. And My Enforcer was SO excited to meet me!

Little did she know just how much her life would change!!! I mean she’s been owned by three dogs at a time before – and she’s had lots of puppies – but I’m one of a kind. We’re still not sure what kind…

But despite a plague, it’s been an amazing year. I’ve learned to adapt to life with two older “brothers.” Well….maybe I should say THEY have learned to adapt to a puddophobic ricocheter. It’s been a year of local exploring and an introduction to the world of obedience and rally. I’ve learned that if you listen, and do what’s asked of you, you get TREATS! And I LOVE treats. Obedience is my thing. Yup I’m a heeling, sitting, spinning, recalling, dropping, retrieving machine. We’ll see if my attention lasts – but if it does, we could find ourselves competing for some of those 50 cent ribbons that cost $25. I can’t wait!!

I’ve learned in the past year that grooming is not as bad as the Boss said, and that blueberries and bananas are yummy. I’m still not sure about lettuce.

I’ve learned that the Boss IS the Boss and the Coyote is the bestest guy to play with. I’ve also learned to check his food bowl when he is done – just in case he leaves me a morsel.

I’ve also learned in the past year how to sit and pose for photos. I’ve learned that the Dollar Store sells some pretty weird junk – but if you sit and wear Dollar Store attire, you get REALLY GOOD treats….

And speaking of which…tomorrow is Canada Day. And here’s a sneak preview of what we were subjected to yesterday….Yup – it’s yours truly running away with the attire.

So I suggest that all blog readers who are owned by dogs, help me celebrate my Gotcha Day by giving your dog a treat! It’s on me!

One other thing – in the last year, you need to know that I wake up happy every single day. I think most of us dogs do. I know that humans don’t always find that easy to do – and that’s where you guys really can take some lessons from us canines. Seriously- we should be taking YOU to obedience class. I’m just a young fella, but this is what I’ve figured out so far…. Life really IS good. Sniff the air. Marvel in the world around you while on a walk. Be happy when you get a treat. Follow instructions. Listen. Roll in the grass. Bite your toys – not others. Respect your elders. Eat what’s good for you – not carpets and chair legs. Be excited when you see someone you love. And finally, don’t pee on the vegetables.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Two strikes. And he’s out.

Hey blogaroos. Squirmy here on a marvelous Monday.

It was a another busy weekend- for me anyway. Another disastrous beauty pageant class, followed by a great rally class. Ummm – does anyone see a pattern developing?

So like the beauty pageant class was outside again. On a warm, windy but kinda muggy day. And like there were a gazillion dogs in class again… two Nova Scotia duck Tollers, my girlfriend, Gina the German Shepherd, another girlfriend, Bree a Bouvier, a Cocker spaniel, a Sussex Spaniel, an Australian Shepherd, a Weimaraner, a Smooth Collie, two Vizslas, a partridge in a pear tree and me. I’m probably forgetting someone. And hello? Guess who got REALLY bored? So like at one point each dog had to go, one at a time and do something called a free stack in the middle of the ring. It’s where you stand like a statue and your owner can’t touch and place your feet if you’re standing crooked. So everyone is taking their turn. And standing beautifully. And then it’s my turn. My Enforcer runs me out to the middle of the ring and tells me to stand and voila – I plop right down onto the grass. Everybody laughed. Which I quite enjoyed. If ya can’t get an applause for being the prettiest, get some laughs! And guess what? I did that again the second time. It was closing in on an hour of torture for My Enforcer, and her friend Cindy, who was standing next to us in the line up said – “You know – I think he’s had enough. If he were mine, I would probably take him out- so he doesn’t learn to hate this conformation stuff.” That was a great observation and suggestion because it was right about the time yours truly was lying in the grass and refusing to stand up. My Enforcer had been thinking the same thing, so we ducked out of the ring and went to a nearby field. She asked me to do 30 seconds of heel work – and guess what? I was brilliant. Because I was DOING something!! Standing around and waiting to pose is boring. I’d rather roll in the grass and attempt to sniff the dog in front of me and behind me. And then when it’s finally my turn to run around the ring, I want to burn it. I run so fast My Enforcer can’t keep up. It’s just not my thing.

Anyway, I went to rally class last night and hello – I ran one course and our teacher said I was perfect. Like NO mistakes. Because it’s FUN. Beauty pageants are like watching paint dry. In rally I get to be the painter! I’m not sure if that makes any sense- but I’m a heeling machine.

I’m not sure we’ll go to beauty pageant class next week. I think it’s too traumatic for My Enforcer. She tries desperately for an hour to keep me happy – and it’s tough. On the other hand, rally class is easy – and a blast. We’ll see what happens next weekend…Mind you, I did kinda enjoy being the class clown. One lady said I look really nice. When I’m standing up…

Time for my walk. Have a magnificent Monday!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.


Howdy doody blogaroos!!! Squirmy Wormy here on a super Saturday. Another handling class today. We’ll see what chaos I can create today!

Meanwhile, my unusual fear that I encounter on walks, continues. I’m bold as brass in this household, and I’ll put up an excellent front guarding my home and property – but I do have a great fear. Puddles. On our morning walk, I dodge around them. And sometimes I totally put on the brakes. Because not all puddles are alike. Some are deep. And you don’t know what lies beneath them. I think there was a horror film named that. But I don’t think it was about puddles. It all started when My Enforcer accidentally kicked a tiny pebble as I was walking by a puddle and it scared me. So now I have puddophobia. I made up that word. There is a word for fear of lakes – limnophobia, and thalassophobia- fear of the ocean and aquaphobia – a general fear of water- but I can’t find a specific word for fear of puddles. Isn’t there anybody else who finds them scary?!

Yesterday My Enforcer decided to try and help me get over my fear. She simply had me stand by a puddle. Clearly I don’t look very happy about this.

When she told me I could sit, I was a bit happier because I moved back from the scary puddle.

We continued on our walk, with me leaping over little puddles and dodging around big ones. At one point, My Enforcer showed me a pebble and had me watch as she tossed it into a puddle. She did that several times. And yeah, OK that wasn’t scary – but I still gave that puddle a side eye glance as I went around it.

Look, we all have our own things that make us unique. Mine is puddophobia. And I guess ricocheting off walls, animals and humans is a bit unique too. But come on – that uniqueness makes me extra lovable. I mean who couldn’t love a puddophobic ricocheter?

OK. I better go and hide because you KNOW she’s going to want to brush me ONE MORE TIME before we go to class. She figures if we don’t perform well, at least I’ll look cute. But we do have a problem. There is rain in the forecast. Hope there’s no puddle in front of the entrance to the class….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

In the news

Greetings blog aficionados. Frodo here. It seems like a long time since I have posted. Probably since the imp is overly excited to do so – so I allow him the opportunity. Anything to keep him occupied for a few moments.

Ironically, I am writing on a day when not much is new in our household, and although it is World UFO Day, I have little to comment on that subject. Mind you, I often wonder if the imp is from another planet….

So given our boring household, I have the opportunity to share some dog related news. The first is a singing dog who is currently competing in one of those TV talent contests. You may view him here:

Now I am no Simon Cowell, but personally, I couldn’t understand a word that dog sang. I’m not one to brag about my own talents, but my singing definitely rivals the tones of that dog. Frankly, I love to sing. And I do so throughout the day. When Her Highness walks the other dogs, when I want breakfast, supper, treats and sometimes for no particular reason. Perhaps I should enter that competition. Oh. But wait. Her Highness would also need to sing. Dreams dashed again.

The next video is thoroughly ridiculous. It is just silly. BUT the portions that show what you humans look like when talking to us canines is spot on. And for that reason, I am sharing it.

Yesterday the Imp and I did some rally training outdoors. Her Highness always works with him first, probably because she wants to get the difficult training out of the way first. And then, like an old shoe, I come out and make her training easy. Mind you, I am a barking shoe. But still, she tells me what to do – and I do it. I feel I am quite ready for a Masters level trial. It’s HER who is holding us back. I wonder if I could rent a handler….

Well. Time to go for our morning constitutionals. And I must begin my singing practice while the others are out…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Rally on

Hey hey hey blogaroos! It’s Squirmy “The unpredictable” Wormy. Yup – I like to keep My Enforcer guessing – she can never ever EVER predict what I will do. Bad OR good.

We know that the beauty pageant class was a gong show on Saturday. So My Enforcer was kinda dreading my behavior for rally class on Sunday night. Let’s face it, it’s been forever since we had a class, and I haven’t been super studious since classes got canceled for the COVID. We arrived at class with our typical 2 minutes to spare, and went in. And I was cool until I noticed a new dog in our group. A very handsome Golden Retriever. Well. We had my Borzoi girlfriend, my Sheltie girlfriend and my Bichon girlfriend. So hello – who was the new dude in class?! Trying to steal my girlfriends? Truthfully, I’m not sure the girls KNEW they were my girlfriends – but still. Anyway, I had to keep my eye on him. A lot. So much so that My Enforcer had to say “leave it!” More than once. But despite my obsession with the new classmate, when it came my turn to do a course, I was all business. And I did a great job!!! Everybody said I must have been fibbing about the beauty pageant class. But no- that really WAS a gong show. The difference with rally class is that I get to DO stuff. And it’s never the same. Unlike beauty pageant class where you run around in a counterclockwise circle. Again and again. And people touch you in private places. Or try to if you don’t sit fast enough. No touching in rally.

Yesterday My Enforcer took a mental health day (away from us) and went to some beach for the day. But Wendy came by to hang out with us and make sure that we weren’t suffering from our abandonment. OK we were fine and Wendy gave us the extra frozen Kongs that My Enforcer had prepared for us. So we survived.

Today we have rain in the forecast. Given the abandonment we endured yesterday, My Enforcer better not be planning any escape for today. Besides – we have some rally work to do. Oh. And beauty pageant stuff too….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Beauty pageant class

Howdy blogaroos. Squirmy here. So you know that old saying: Practice makes perfect? Well did you know there’s a second part to the quote? Practice makes perfect and no practice makes a wild dog in an outdoor conformation handling class even MORE wild. That’s the second part.

Yup. It was back to beauty pageant classes for yours truly yesterday. Whooooeeeee. Just picture it. An outdoor class. A sunny but super windy day. A bunch of dogs I never met before, except for my girlfriend, Gina. Who they said (which I don’t understand) was just coming out of her season. What season? Spring? Christmas? I don’t know- but she sure smelled different. Add to that a guy who has not practiced for a beauty pageant in months. And the result is ….Captain Chaos adventures.

But wait – you need to know what happened BEFORE we got to class. So My Enforcer took me and The Boss on the trail in the morning. Big mistake. We BOTH ended up with muddy feet. So she figures she’ll just have to rinse us off – especially me – since I’m going to beauty pageant class. Well that’s all fine. Until we walk down the driveway on the way home. And I discover that some bird- make that some LARGE bird (probably a pheasant) OBVIOUSLY ate something that didn’t “agree with him” and had a very messy poop in the middle of our driveway. And before she could say “no stop!!!!” Yours truly did the drop and roll in the poop puddle. Yup. It was awesome.

So what should have been a simple foot rinse, became a full shampoo. And blow dry of course. All before breakfast.

Anyway, I arrive at the training place (after an hour drive) and well… my brain exploded. When asked to run around the ring, I was like a hummingbird who drank too much nectar from a cannabis plant. Do cannabis plants have flowers? I don’t know – but you get the picture. My Enforcer had to grip onto my lead with all her might. And if you think I’m exaggerating, I can send you photos of the blister on her finger from gripping my leash throughout the class. I am NOT joking. She had me in a death grip. Probably because if I wasn’t running like I was being chased by a grizzly or trying to sniff the dog in front of me (or behind me), I was rolling in the grass. At one point I just plopped down….

And when she tried to move me, I decided to play “sack of potatoes” – and I didn’t move. She didn’t get a picture of me lying on my side. At one point I also did the bucking bronco routine like a dog who has never worn a leash. That was pretty.

Our teacher is very patient, and tries to be so positive, despite my less than stellar performance. We KNOW he must be holding back the urge to roll his eyes when I race around like a ballon that has a hole in it. There are some AWESOME dogs in our class – some who have actually won big ribbons!! BIG ribbons. I should just see if My Enforcer could buy some – it would save both of us a whole lot of trouble.

The great news is we signed up for 4 weeks of this entertainment! Seriously- they should be paying me for the comic relief. Now I get why the Coyote found this kinda boring. On the other hand, The Boss did well at this beauty pageant stuff. But he’s a bit more serious about stuff like this. I’d rather roll in pheasant poop.

Tonight I go back to Rally Class! Let’s hope My Enforcer finds better treats than yesterday. Freeze dried beef just didn’t cut it…

Good thing I’m cute…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.


Howdy blogees. Elroy here on a fabulous Friday. I hope you’re having a chill one – in preparation for your weekend. Mind you… weekend, Monday, Halloween, birthdays- it’s all the same to me. Except for the dreaded photo shoots for holidays. I hear we have one coming up at the beginning of July, and Her Highness came back with a big bag from the Dollar store the other day. And she was wearing that evil smile, that indicates I am going to be required to wear some obnoxious head gear. Again. We’ve already worn the Canadian flags for Canada Day in the past, so who KNOWS what else she could have found. She had better not leave the gate open by mistake, because I’ll be in the next province before she can catch me…

Yesterday was particularly uneventful because right after breakfast, she made this big “announcement” that she could plant tomatoes on the kitchen floor. Yawn. Sure. We tracked in some dirt. Especially the mops – they are mud magnets. But a crop of tomatoes in the kitchen? Drama. All drama.

So as a result of the proclamation, we canines found ourselves on the deck, while she scrubbed the tile grout with a brush like a toothbrush. Talk about a futile exercise. As she slaved away, we all watched through the deck door – making sure to create some extra nice olfactory art. So while she’s scrubbing the floor, we’re messing up the windows. It’s called the canine cleaning circle of life. We came in when the floor was dry and when she went to wipe the windows, we tracked in all those little maple leaf helicopter things. So then she had to vacuum again. So she put us back outside because we like to attack the vacuum. And we watched, leaving new olfactory art creations. See what I mean about the cycle. Just give it up.

And speaking of tomatoes, Her Highness moved the garden boxes beyond our fenced area. No digging for us guys in the veggies this year. Seriously, sometimes she can be rather boring. So right now we stare through the fence at the fledgling crops. The tomatoes look like blades of grass. BUT she planted potatoes, and they are looking great. Mind you, I’m not exactly sure what they are supposed to look like, but they ARE green. And the lettuce could probably make a small salad right now. For a rabbit. Speaking of whom, I’m surprised our hoppy friends haven’t yet discovered the buffet. Yo. Free food. Come on down. Her Highness placed the boxes far enough back that we can’t pee through the fence on them. And trust me – we all tried. A little fun competition. But nobody won.

Meanwhile, every time I go out the front door for my walk, Her Highness has to watch me because I keep trying to pee on these nice planters she has on either side of the door. No luck yet. But the season is young.

So that’s the exciting news from our corner of the planet. Let’s hope there’s no thrilling activity like dusting today….

I think I’ll head out to do some digging.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.


Hey everybody. It’s Squirmy no-no Wormy here on a wonderful Wednesday. It’s June 16, and did you know that on this day in 1960, the Alfred Hitchcock movie, Psycho was released? And My Enforcer said that is fitting to mention, because lately, the title describes MY behavior perfectly!

So we know that sometimes I can be a bit wild. Like when I am released from my crate and I do laps around the dining room table, only stopping to ricochet off another canine, a wall, or my human. So that’s my baseline crazy level.

But lately, well, I have become totally possessed at times. Actually- at a specific time. When I’m out on my morning walk. And at first, My Enforcer thought it happened because we were on our way home. And I didn’t want the walk to end. But then the other day, it just happened part way through the walk, and we weren’t even heading home. It begins either with me suddenly pulling on my leash – OR I begin to grab My Enforcer’s coat – near the pocket with the treats. Then I started leaping on My Enforcer, and just biting her. Yup. Her hands. Her arm. Her pant leg. She has to fend me off like one of those schutzhund dogs. Seriously, I go completely psycho. And the more My Enforcer tries to push me down, the more I leap at her. The first time it happened, if someone had seen me, they probably would have called Animal Control. The next time, it looked similar, but I stopped more quickly. The third time, My Enforcer was ready for me. She shouted “SIT” and I did. Telling me “no”, or to “stop it” has zero effect. But tell me something I know, and it works! My Enforcer theorizes that I’m too smart for my own good. I haven’t been running off leash lately (for fear of ticks in the woods), so I get pretty bored just walking along on a leash and sniffing. So I like to perk things up. With schutzhund.

Of course My Enforcer had to consult Mr Googly about my psycho behavior. Mr Googly and his staff talk about zoomies after a walk, or if a dog is feeling bored or anxious. No one specifically mentioned schutzhund on a walk, but My Enforcer’s sister’s late dog Dorey, was well know for that behavior on walks as well. It usually happened around the same area on their walk, as they were heading for home. The difference was that they lived in the city, so people passing by would witness the circus. At least we live in the country, and nobody sees my protection dog routine.

Meanwhile, I CAN be good. My Enforcer is amazed how quickly I learn something . Tell me to strut in heel work position, and I’ll run into my place. Fetch? I’ll bring that bumper back every time. Not always RIGHT to your hand, but I will bring it back. My sit-stay beats Frodo’s. I am the easiest dog to groom. And I’m a terrific watch dog. So really, my psycho alter-ego is just a little glitch.

I think they should make a movie about me. Well. About all the dogs in our happy home. And My Enforcer too. Because we let her live with us. We can’t call it Psycho because that’s already been used. I like House of Foofaraw. Foofaraw means a great fuss about something insignificant. And let’s face it – there’s a LOT of foofaraw around here. At meal time. When it’s time to go out. When My Enforcer goes out. When she returns. When a squirrel runs by. At grooming time. In the morning. If someone arrives. If the wind blows.

Now I just need a director. Wonder what Steven Spielberg is doing these days….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Weekend recap

Hey hey hey blogaroos! Squirmy here on a Marvelous Monday! We had a good weekend and now a new week begins.

Let’s see…what’s new? Oh. Oh. I know. Did you watch the Westminster Dog Show? We did. The beauty pageant part was on Saturday and Sunday. Because we live in the Great White North, My Enforcer couldn’t figure out how to watch the breed judging live. We had to settle for the recorded versions. We could watch the Group judging live and Best in Show- which lasted late into the night for us. The big winner of the whole jackpot (there really isn’t a money prize – but I’m betting the winner gets LOTS of biscuits) was the Pekingese. I was kinda rooting for the Old English – being a herding dog and all. Plus I liked the Samoyed – who happens to be Canadian! I also thought the the Westie and the Frenchie were cute, and it was cool that the German Shorthair’s father won Best in Show at Westminster. And the Whippet was pretty. So OK, no offense to the Pekingese, but I think if I met one, I might try to chase it. It wasn’t MY pick – but then, I’m no judge. At least not an official one. But still – big congratulations to the swiffer wannabe.

The Coyote was smirking about the whole Westminster thing because there were more Picards entered than PONs: 16 vs 10. And what breed had the most entries? Golden Retrievers eked out the Labs: 44 vs 41. The smallest entry was the White Bull Terrier – with one entered. There were three colored Bull Terriers entered – but I guess they are judged separately. I would like to be the only one entered. I mean unless you bite the judge or have 3 eyes and 2 tails, chances are you will win Best of Breed. I don’t get this whole color thingy- like Cocker Spaniels are all judged differently by color. But we PONs and Picards can come in different colors – but like -we’re all put together. Same thing with Labs. I’m sure there’s some logical, objective explanation about why that happens in some breeds…. But I don’t know.

What else is new? Oh. Oh. I was driving My Enforcer crazy Saturday afternoon (what else is new) so she decided to take me out. That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, I was actually just wanting to play fetch, but she put me in the car and took me out to “socialize” me. First stop was the pet store. I hadn’t been there in AGES. Instead of being shy, I was more interested in seeing what I could potentially steal off the shelves. Bully sticks were at a perfect level. I wasn’t too sure about a Yorkshire Terrier who came around the corner at one point. I thought it was a wind-up toy. His human said “oh she’s friendly” but My Enforcer wasn’t exactly sure what I might do, so she said “oh that’s great- but we’ll just move out of her way.” I did take treats from some dude who worked there, but I wasn’t overly enthused. I mean ya never know- it could be poison. Although I did see My Enforcer hand it to him.

After the pet store, we went to a giant book store. I found that rather boring, as I’m not much of a reader. I was more interested in the home goods they sell. My Enforcer had to keep me moving as I kept trying to inspect things on the shelves. I did sit nicely when she went to the cash to buy something, and let’s face it – the true success is measured in the fact that I didn’t pee on anything.

My Enforcer was all ready to take me back to my Rally class last night, but LUCKILY, she checked her email messages before we went. We don’t start up again until NEXT week. All that grooming for nothing….

OK. Time to walk and get my feet muddy. Have a marvelous day.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Mistaken identity

Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy Wormy here. Your happy-go-lucky-wild-wooly buddy. It’s Saturday- and it’s sunny. Life is good.

So today I have a funny story about The Coyote. And a case of mistaken identity.

It happened the other day when he and My Enforcer were walking down the road. He was prancing along in his blissful Picard state when a car passed by them on the road. The car suddenly put on the brakes, and My Enforcer watched as they pulled into a driveway and turned around and came back toward them. The driver slowed and rolled down his window. They stopped on the other side of the road and the driver and passenger were staring at My Enforcer and the Coyote. It was rather early in the day so it wasn’t likely that they were enamored by the radiance of My Enforcer. I mean I shouldn’t tell tales, but she barely pushes down her bed head and brushes her teeth before she takes us on our morning walks. I mean no offense but let’s just say we don’t love her because of the way she looks in the morning…

Anyway, the driver stopped and shouted out to My Enforcer “excuse me – what kind of a mixed breed is that?” My Enforcer shouted “he’s not a mixed breed- he’s a full fledged Coyote.” Just joking – she walked into the middle of the road and explained that he was a purebred – and he was a Yorkshire Terrier who she fed too much. Just joking again – she said he was a French herding dog called a Berger Picard or Picardy Shepherd. They said they just had to ask – they thought he might be a German Shepherd-poodle cross. Really. I’m not joking about that part. In that weird pleasant voice that she uses sometimes when she wants us to come to get groomed, she explained that he was not a Germadoodle. He was a card carrying registered real breed. Well they just thought he was THE coolest dog they had ever seen. Meanwhile, the Coyote stood there and listened while he watched birds overhead. My Enforcer explained a bit about the breed – and they were just delighted to have seen him. Thankfully Mr Spectacle didn’t jump on the side of their vehicle and scrape the paint off. He was actually very well behaved- and a good ambassador for the breed. They thanked My Enforcer for sharing all the breed info. Probably more than they wanted to know…

I can’t say any cars have stopped to ask what breed I am. Good thing – I believe that strangers equal danger, so while I may LOOK like a cute puffy ball of fluff, I do a really, really good Cujo impersonation with anyone I don’t know. Just like The Boss. Just keep on driving folks.

Today I have to do some cramming because my rally class starts up again tomorrow!!! Can’t wait to see all my classmates. OK. Let’s be honest. What I REALLY can’t wait for is the cheese strings. And I do like our teacher too.

My Enforcer might start painting the deck today – I hope she lets me help! Call me PONcasso – I know I can do a lovely job!!!! I’ll keep you posted!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.