Psycho

Hey everybody. It’s Squirmy no-no Wormy here on a wonderful Wednesday. It’s June 16, and did you know that on this day in 1960, the Alfred Hitchcock movie, Psycho was released? And My Enforcer said that is fitting to mention, because lately, the title describes MY behavior perfectly!

So we know that sometimes I can be a bit wild. Like when I am released from my crate and I do laps around the dining room table, only stopping to ricochet off another canine, a wall, or my human. So that’s my baseline crazy level.

But lately, well, I have become totally possessed at times. Actually- at a specific time. When I’m out on my morning walk. And at first, My Enforcer thought it happened because we were on our way home. And I didn’t want the walk to end. But then the other day, it just happened part way through the walk, and we weren’t even heading home. It begins either with me suddenly pulling on my leash – OR I begin to grab My Enforcer’s coat – near the pocket with the treats. Then I started leaping on My Enforcer, and just biting her. Yup. Her hands. Her arm. Her pant leg. She has to fend me off like one of those schutzhund dogs. Seriously, I go completely psycho. And the more My Enforcer tries to push me down, the more I leap at her. The first time it happened, if someone had seen me, they probably would have called Animal Control. The next time, it looked similar, but I stopped more quickly. The third time, My Enforcer was ready for me. She shouted “SIT” and I did. Telling me “no”, or to “stop it” has zero effect. But tell me something I know, and it works! My Enforcer theorizes that I’m too smart for my own good. I haven’t been running off leash lately (for fear of ticks in the woods), so I get pretty bored just walking along on a leash and sniffing. So I like to perk things up. With schutzhund.

Of course My Enforcer had to consult Mr Googly about my psycho behavior. Mr Googly and his staff talk about zoomies after a walk, or if a dog is feeling bored or anxious. No one specifically mentioned schutzhund on a walk, but My Enforcer’s sister’s late dog Dorey, was well know for that behavior on walks as well. It usually happened around the same area on their walk, as they were heading for home. The difference was that they lived in the city, so people passing by would witness the circus. At least we live in the country, and nobody sees my protection dog routine.

Meanwhile, I CAN be good. My Enforcer is amazed how quickly I learn something . Tell me to strut in heel work position, and I’ll run into my place. Fetch? I’ll bring that bumper back every time. Not always RIGHT to your hand, but I will bring it back. My sit-stay beats Frodo’s. I am the easiest dog to groom. And I’m a terrific watch dog. So really, my psycho alter-ego is just a little glitch.

I think they should make a movie about me. Well. About all the dogs in our happy home. And My Enforcer too. Because we let her live with us. We can’t call it Psycho because that’s already been used. I like House of Foofaraw. Foofaraw means a great fuss about something insignificant. And let’s face it – there’s a LOT of foofaraw around here. At meal time. When it’s time to go out. When My Enforcer goes out. When she returns. When a squirrel runs by. At grooming time. In the morning. If someone arrives. If the wind blows.

Now I just need a director. Wonder what Steven Spielberg is doing these days….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.