She’s leaving

Howdy doody blogaroos. Squirmy Wormy here. And holy moly am I shockarooed. My Enforcer has left us! All alone. For over a week!!!

OK. That’s kinda a fib. But she IS going away today – for her sister, Sue and Keith’s wedding- in Oldlostland. Wait. The Boss said that’s wrong. It’s Newfoundland. Whatever. All I know is that we weren’t invited. Personally, I think we would have made brilliant flowerdogs. But like I wouldn’t have wanted to fly there, which she is doing, and driving takes like a week. You have to take a ferry and drive and drive and drive. Imagine how long it would take with all of us wanting to stop and pee. So I guess it’s just as well we didn’t go.

But not to worry- we won’t be alone. We have a NEW dogsitter coming to live with us. We’ve met her twice and she seems nice. She did attempt to get the Boss to stop barking by telling him to be quiet. Ummmm….I hope My Enforcer told her not to waste her breath. Getting him to stop barking would be like stopping waves in the ocean. It ain’t going to happen. She’ll see….

Anyway, we’ve been told to be on our best behavior. That’s a stretch, but we’ll try. Wonder how trainable she is….

So we’ll be running some blog re-runs while My Enforcer is away. Just like popular TV shows in the summer months. Some of these re-runs are before my time. They were written by Viktor. It’s kinda spooky how similar we are….

OK. Time to try one more time to sneak in My Enforcer’s suitcase. Just kidding- the guys said we’ll be fine -AND we get something called guilt gifts when My Enforcer comes back! I’m hoping for a Mercedes.

Gotta go!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

It’s not funny

Howdy doody blogaroos. Squirmy here on a terrific Tuesday. Well. Terrific for some of us.

You see, My Enforcer has a problem. Well, three problems if you count all of us. But the current problem is related to the wonderful relationship that the Coyote and I have. I mean it’s super duper awesome that she can live in a household with three boys (two of whom are “intact”) and we all get along famously. And it wasn’t all that long ago that The Boss had “all his parts.” Until that orb ordeal a few years ago. Parts or no parts- he is still the BOSS in this house.

But back to our happy abode. So we all get along great. Actually too great. Yeah the Humpty Dumpty game is a bit of an annoyance to my Enforcer at times (we on the other hand love it) but it’s really not a HUGE problem. But the other issue is the “styling game” which the Coyote and I have recently come to really enjoy. And the thing is, when we play the hair styling game, it also includes trimming. I mentioned this before, but it was this past weekend, while I was being groomed, that My Enforcer realized the extent of our mutual trimming. I had straight line “trim” evidence on the top of my head, on my ears, on my side and on one leg. I’m a bit of a mess.

Now when she goes out somewhere, yours truly is in a crate. So this isn’t happening when she’s not around. It happens if we run outside to play and roll on the lawn. And let’s face it – she’s not watching us every second of the day. She does need to shower and use the bathroom sometimes. And vacuum. And mow the lawn. And do laundry. And make calls. And cook. Honestly, 15 minutes doesn’t go by that she isn’t checking to see what we’re up to. But we are getting GOOD at this. And we’re fast!

So you can say, oh well, you have a funky haircut. But here’s the deal- if you want to be in a beauty pageant, a funky haircut is for poodles. Not PONs. Admittedly I’m not entered in anything any time soon, but if we keep this up, I could be starting a new beauty trend. Punk PON.

Like I said, she’s happy we love each other, but short of someone always being sequestered, she’s not sure what to do? Douse me in bitter apple? Cover me in plastic wrap? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!!!

Otherwise, hmmmm… I won’t talk about the rally match I was in on Sunday. It was a practice thing. OK. I’ll talk about it. My first run was not bad after the first two stations. Once I got rolling, I was pretty OK. But the second run? Epic disaster. The start line was by the entrance door. Like 4 feet away. And people were coming in and going out. It was too much for my puppy brain. I couldn’t concentrate AT ALL. My Enforcer decided to abort the course. No point in making a bad thing worse. It was proof that not enough proofing does not make you bomb proof. If that makes sense.

I seem to be going through the TBF period. That’s teenage brain fart. I seem to have forgotten everything. Or I just want to do things freestyle- my own way. Our wonderful coach, Jane assured My Enforcer that it’s a phase and I’ll get back into the game. Paws crossed.

Well, time for our morning walks. Then I’ll check to see what my stylist is up to. Unless My Enforcer catches us first…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Squeaking

Yo. Blogees. Elroy here. Also known as the guy with the non-stop squeak. Yeah so I’ve been feeling a bit frisky lately, and if I’m not trying to play Humpty Dumpty with the shark, I’m squeaking. There’s nothing WRONG with me. I just want to play. And if I can’t play, I squeak. Just enough to drive Her Highness to almost screaming out loud. I’m not sure what drives her more crazy – the ricocheting PON, the barking PON, or the squeaking Picard. It’s a toss up.

Anyway, the squeaking paid off. For me anyway. She figured if we did something “fun” maybe I would stop squeaking. The first attempt was an epic fail. But the second worked.

First off, Her Highness decided that maybe, since I’m not into rally or obedience, that MAYBE I would like tracking. Seemed like a reasonable option seeing as my nose is always on the ground. When it’s not in another dog’s butt. Or a human’s for that matter. So. She placed a short track in the front yard. Like 10 feet. She had a flag at the start and a cone at the end. So she takes me to the start and shows me the biscuit that is there. Frankly, all I could focus on was the cone at the end. I mean what was a cone doing in the middle of the front yard? It didn’t belong there. Who put it there? Why was it right there? I MUST check it out.

Her Highness kept pointing to the treat on the ground. You want me to eat that? Sure. So I lay down to have a snack. She said to stand up. Sure. Hey is that a bird in the tree? And why is that other cone out on the driveway? Why isn’t that on the lawn too? She stepped ahead and pointed to the next treat, dragging me along. I have to eat this one too? OK. I’ll lie down again. And take 3 minutes to chew it.

She mumbled something about the wrong treats, took me back to the front door, tied me to a post and went in for “easier” treats. Cheese strings. Who said I like cheese? Maybe some days. Maybe not today. And by the way, what is that cone doing in the front yard?

OK. So the first round of tracking wasn’t exactly a huge success. I was no faster or more interested with the cheese.

She tried it with the imp and he was minimally better. The Boss rocked it. Of course he did.

So what else to do with a squeaking Picard. Well the second idea worked. For a while anyway. I got to go for a walk with Gena, the imp’s girlfriend. Actually, one of his harem. He was supposed to go for a walk with her, but Her Highness decided to take yours truly instead. To stop my squeaking.

I had never met Gena before, and got pretty excited when I saw her. Luckily she is tolerant of boisterous boys – heck she’s been with the imp. We had a lovely walk along the waterfront. And guess what? I was well behaved. One man wanted to pet me and of course I sidled right in. And I wasn’t squeaking! And I was great all the way home! Yay, Her Highness thought.

20 minutes after being home, the squeaker button was again pressed. Yup. I was back at it. Luckily I was tired after my walk, so I fell asleep. And stopped squeaking. Temporarily anyway.

Today the Imp is in some kind of rally match. Not a real trial- just a fake one. The Boss was also entered, but Her Highness figures it might be a bit much with the heat for the senior guy. So I think he’ll hang out with me at home. I can squeak and he can bark. We’ll do a duet…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Hey Buddy!

Howdy doody blogaroos. Squirmy whatever-your-name-is Wormy here for your semi-daily glimpse into the world of canine insanity. Well. Our insanity.

Actually, we’ve all been pretty well behaved. If you rule out the Coyote’s obsession with playing Humpty Dumpty and his current morning hunger strike. He has decided he does not DO breakfast for about 2 weeks now. Possibly because My Enforcer bought the COD variety of his food instead of the lamb variety. So he’s refusing to eat it. You can’t tell him it costs the same or that he liked it before. He just won’t eat it. But biscuits and treats are still approved – so he gobbles them down. And he’ll eat it at supper time. I just don’t get him sometimes.

But back to names. So sometimes, I am called a variety of names. Frodo. Elroy. Viktor. Squirmy. Squirm. Tek. Fro-El -Wojtek. El-Fro-Wojtek. Sometimes I am called Viktor. I’ve even heard My Enforcer say “whatever your name is”.

But there is one name I am consistently called. Buddy. Yes- you read that correctly. And the name Buddy is an extremely popular dog name. It appears in several lists of popular dog names…Here it is #11.

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/pictures/dog-names-boy-girl-most-popular/

It appears on this list as well…

https://www.dogsloversblog.com/top-dog-names-of-2021/amp/

Now it doesn’t appear in the list of unusual dog names – but Frodo does.

https://www.dogsloversblog.com/unique-male-dog-names-2021/amp/

In all the various lists I didn’t find an Elroy. OR a Wojtek. Now those are unique names.

So where does Buddy come from? I think Viktor might have talked about it a long time ago – but it’s all new to me. Here in Nova Scotia, everybody is a Buddy. Really. Humans say things like “Buddy delivered my pizza right on time”. Or “Buddy sped past me on the highway.” Or “Buddy didn’t have his dog on a leash.” Or “Did you see the article about Buddy who won the lottery?” Yes. Buddy is a name that’s used a LOT. And I realized finally the other day that I’m a Buddy too. Like when we’re walking down the trail and the deer flies are eating My Enforcer alive, she’ll say “Come on Buddy we have to move it.” At first I looked around to see who the mystery dog was. And then I realized Buddy was me!

I’m not called Buddy in things like a recall. Then my given name is used. My given name is also used when I’m doing something…naughty. Like “Wojtek stop counter surfing.” Or “Wojtek drop it!!!”

But I am frequently called Buddy out on a walk. It’s my alter-ego walking name. “Slow down Buddy.” “Speed it up Buddy.” Buddy seems to be associated with walking rate around here.

I think the other guys are called Buddy too when out on walks. No wonder we’re all confused around here. And our behavior is so unpredictable. We don’t know who she is talking to!

Suuuuuure. That’s the reason. At least that’s my excuse. Everybody is Buddy.

What do you think, Buddy – pretty good excuse, eh?

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Swamp dog

Howdy doody blogaroos. Another wonderful Wednesday coming to you from Captain Chaos.

So this past weekend, My Enforcer posted some “Where’s Wojtek” photos. And you see one of the photos above. There were others – and they make me look like I’m sitting in a swamp. Spoiler alert. There was a grassy patch above the water where I was sitting. Safe and dry. Here’s another one.

So you can’t believe everything you see in social media. Really. You can’t. I know it’s hard to believe – but it’s true.

Anyway, yesterday morning, we met up with Pigpen again and his human. We decided to walk on the trail and on part of the golf course.

That guy is interesting. You know those green swampy patches on the side of a trail? The kind where water stands? And tall weeds grow? Well. Like he went in every one. Stinky. Gross. Stagnant water. He didn’t care. His human had to put him on a leash to keep him out. Meanwhile, yours truly was still on a leash because My Enforcer didn’t want me following him into the quagmire. Anyway, we got up to the course, and both humans decided it was safe to let us run. I’m used to running and chasing the Coyote, whose hair I can hold onto. Not so easy with a Lab. So as we approached the first big pond on the course, Pigpen made a beeline for the water. I think to escape me. He raced through some bulrushes along the water’s edge and dove in. At least I think they are bulrushes. Maybe they’re cattails. I’m no botanist. But back to my story. So I’m chasing him. And unfortunately, yours truly didn’t realize that the bulrushes were actually IN water. My Enforcer watched with shock as I hit the bulrushes and was quickly up to my neck in water.

Holy moly was I surprised ! I think I did a 180 in the air and jumped back on the land. I shook myself off and watched my buddy swim away. His human had a hard time getting him out of the water. Mostly because he loves it and partly because I think he was avoiding me.

Once we got past the pond, we were able to play again. We both spotted a bunny and yours truly did a “Viktor” – chasing the dude into the woods. But big difference- I came back when called. Pigpen wasn’t as interested in the bunny. He was busy looking for water.

Yours truly needed a rinsing and a half blow dry when we got home. She had to walk the other guys, so I didn’t get the full spa treatment. I have a feeling it’s coming…

One of these days My Enforcer is going to take me and the Coyote down to the lake and she’ll see if he can teach me to swim. The only reason she hadn’t done it yet is because she doesn’t relish the thought of drying two of us. No worries about it being three of us – the Boss won’t walk through dewy grass – so no chance he would join us. I actually do think I’d like to try… we’ll see….plus we have no bulrushes as water’s edge -so I’ll know what to expect!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Weekend recap

Happy Monday blogaroos! Squirmy what-are-you-doing-nowWormy here for your daily dose of giggles.

So what badness did we get into this weekend…

First off – no classes. There were some trials this weekend- and as I understand it, some suspects fared well. One of my many girlfriends, my Borzoi, got her PCD. Which is a step before a Novice Obedience title. I only like smart girls – so it’s no wonder she got it. Big congrats to her and her human. I’m not ready for PCD. Or anything else quite yet. You’re not allowed to ricochet off the judge, so I’ve still got some learning to do…make that LOTS of learning.

So no lessons and it was a warm weekend. Not overly crazy hot like some places, but the humidity was high, so we were all panting. My Enforcer told us to go downstairs where it is cooler. But, um, while she was upstairs vacuuming, she glanced down to the landing and saw a pillow just sitting there. Yours truly was doing some decorating. She came down and found all the throw pillows from the sofa and love seat scattered everywhere. Busted. As she went to pick them up, yours truly grabbed one and attempted to take it outside. But the door wasn’t open quite wide enough, so I got caught. Darn.

After she finished vacuuming upstairs she came down to look up something on her new phone. So she let me and the Coyote outside. The Boss didn’t want to go out – the grass was still dewy. Well. She sat down for 5.8 minutes when yours truly raced into the house . With the Coyote in hot pursuit. We were both soaking wet from rolling on the wet lawn- AND we were both covered (and I mean covered) in sticks and leaves. My Enforcer groaned as we both promptly shook ourselves off, littering the floor in leaf bits and sticks. It looked like a hurricane had blown through the house. She made some kind of weird primal scream/groan and went upstairs to get the vacuum. Of course we followed her, leaving a leaf trail on each step. Good thing we’re cute.

Oh. Plus I got a brushing this weekend and ooooo-eeeee My Enforcer was not impressed. You see, when the Coyote isn’t doing the Humpty routine, he is either licking my head, OR horror of horrors, chewing my legs. Yup. One leg has some creative teeth sculpting. Plus. The Coyote has an uneven mustache. With one side of his face being longer than the other side. That’s my teethiwork. And it’s not like we’re ever left alone together for more than a few minutes! But we work quickly.

What else? Oh! Today is Stick out your Tongue Day. Don’t ask me why. I don’t make these things up, I just report on them.

Anyway, it seems I have perfected the art of sticking out my tongue. My Enforcer went through like a gazillion photos and found these. And she didn’t find ONE that the stuffed dog did, nor did the unhappy Coyote produce more than one or two tongue outs. Probably because his jaw is clenched in disdain talking photos in the first place so his tongue doesn’t go out. Anyway, enjoy my shots!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

A jail break

Hey hey hey blogaroos. Squirmy Wormy here. With another episode NS Wild Kingdom.

So what’s new here? Well, praise the heavens, My Enforcer’s new phone came in. The old one went from damaged to not working quite right to totally whacky. When she got the new one in the mailbox, she was as happy as she is with three deposits of P3. It was a joyous day. We tried very hard to help her set up the new phone, but she insisted on doing it herself.

We didn’t do a whole lot the past few days. The weather was sunny one minute and rainy and foggy the next. My Enforcer had to drag the Boss out – he’s not into damp conditions. Even fog makes for dewy grass and he hates dewy feet.

So to entertain ourselves, the Coyote and I continued our Humpty Dumpty antics. Which I mentioned the other day. And I also talked about how when we get a bit out of control, one of us is put in solitary confinement aka a crate. If I’m the designated prisoner, My Enforcer puts me in and adds two carabiners to make sure I don’t escape. If the Coyote is the designated prisoner, she just latches the crate door like most people do for most normal dogs. And the Coyote is pretty normal. At least when it comes to crates. He doesn’t even TRY to escape. So locking him up seemed simple….

However…..My Enforcer underestimated the Coyote’s partner in crime. Which would be me. On three occasions now, when the Coyote has been imprisoned, if the guard leaves the room, she comes back and finds the prisoner released. Yup. I let him out. Seriously, the guy would just sit in there whining, so yours truly pushes up the latches, and let’s him out. Cool or what?

Well. It WAS cool. But now she puts the carabiners on the crate when he’s in it too. Spoil sport.

So not much exciting new here. But oh, oh here’s a cool story from Nova Scotia that I’d like to share. Everybody can use a good news story now and then. So check this one out…

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/stranger-takes-in-2-dogs-after-car-accident-matthew-van-de-riet/

The world could use more guys like this. Well, maybe we don’t need more – we just need to look for them. They’re out there….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

A Broken phone, a painted deck and Humpty Dumpty

Howdy blogaroos. Squirmy Wormy here. But I’m having trouble writing this blog. Because I usually write it on My Enforcer’s iPhone. But guess what?! She smashed it. Not on purpose. She dropped it outside and kaboom. The screen is broken in a gazillion pieces. Plus there are two weird lines running through the display. So like it’s a mess.

And it wasn’t my fault. For a change. She was walking in the house and oopsie, she dropped it on the patio outside. The stone patio. It landed upside down, so she was hoping it might be OK. But when she turned it over, we’ll she groaned. Kind of like when she goes to brush the Boss and she finds all the mats I have created around his head from licking him.

So a phone had to be ordered. She told me she was selling one of us to pay for it. She was just kidding. I think…..

Meanwhile, she decided to paint the infamous deck the other day. She needed 48 hours without rain, so she looked at the forecast and did it the day before yesterday. Try to explain to 3 dogs that we can’t go out on the deck. Which we do every day. She created a massive barricade so we couldn’t get out there, but also so that she could leave the screen open so we wouldn’t die of heat stroke. Every time she went back into the garage, I tried to get out on the deck to inspect her work. And I was sure interested in that paint brush, which she held over her head to keep me from grabbing it. That’s possibly how she got paint in her hair…

What else…..oh I know. The neighbors went away for a few days so she was helping to water their garden while they were gone. But yesterday, she did it BEFORE she fed us breakfast. BAD move. The Boss shouted out that she needed to return. Immediately. And when she didn’t come back, he kept shouting. Continually. And louder and louder. But suddenly, we heard this voice. This tiny voice of My Enforcer saying “BE quiet. BE QUIET!” And The Boss stopped his barking to see where she was. The thing is, she was talking over Big Brother, this webcam thingy we have. As soon as the Boss would run toward the camera – to see where her voice was coming from, he stopped barking. But then he would run away and start again. And she would yell at him. And he would stop. And…you get the picture. He finally caught on that she she wasn’t really anywhere close by, so he just kept on barking. I was still puzzled as to how she was throwing her voice.

Oh plus the Coyote and I are back into our Humpty Dumpty routine. Well – he’s more Humpty and I end up being Dumpty. Although sometimes roles do reverse. But I’m not quite as enthusiastic as he is. When we get totally out of control, My Enforcer breaks us up. A little wrestling, rolling, chasing, and chewing is fine. Even a little Humpty is OK. But when it becomes like an X rated movie, it’s game over. And somebody ends up in a crate. She’s afraid one or both of us will have heat stroke. She worries too much.

So that’s our news today!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

An old friend

Howdy doody blogaroos. Squirmy -no stop- Wormy here on a terrific Tuesday.

So. Yesterday morning, My Enforcer and I went on our morning constitutional. We started heading toward the golf course because it was early – and My Enforcer talked to the golf course grounds guy the other day, and she found out that they didn’t spray any Chernobyl stuff on the course this year. Just the greens. And we never walk on the greens anyway – we stick to the paths. So My Enforcer thought we could do part of the course before the golfers arrived.

Anyway as we started walking, My Enforcer heard her name being called. She looked around and there on the road coming behind us was Pigpen and his human. Better known as Jackson the Lab. Now I met him once, but that’s when I was just a little guy. So when he came running toward me, I didn’t know WHAT to think! At first I thought I needed to protect my human. Who am I kidding?!I wanted to protect myself. But when I saw that My Enforcer was all happy to see him, I figured he was safe. And no danger. To either of us.

Anyway, we ended up walking on the course with them. His human was cool. She had treats in her pocket- so I immediately liked her.

Pigpen was off leash most of the time and boy oh boy, he sure likes water! He raced to every single pond and went for a swim. I was amazed. I just stood and watched him like people looking for whales on a whale watching tour. It was crazy how much he liked the water. Clean water and swampy water. Didn’t matter to him. My Enforcer let me off leash for a bit, but I had no interest in taking the plunge. But I still managed to get completely drenched just running around with him. He looks the same all wet. Me not so much.

We had a good run and walk, and I was happy to see him again. We’ll have to book another pee time. That’s my attempt at being funny. Get it? A walk on a golf course? Not tee time but pee time. I thing I’m going to be a comedian when I grow up. Mind you, I already am!

Have a good one! Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Pet photos

Hey hey hey. It’s a Squirmy Sunday! And guess what day it is on the Crazy Calendar? Why it’s something called All American Pet Photo Day. A day to take a photo of your pet and share it with the inter-world. Well hello? Just about EVERY day is pet photo day in our crazy household. You never know WHEN My Enforcer will whip out that phone and capture us for all the world to see.

Now if you’ve been a regular blog reader, you know that besides the gazillion shots she takes on any ordinary day, the most “fun” shots are what we call the “holiday trio” shots. That’s when she brings out the crappy Dollar Store attire, the SUPER good treats, and usually takes us into the “studio” aka garage for a session. As usual, the Coyote is always the least enthused. And the Boss sits like a stuffed animal. And you get to see the best of 467 shots taken. So let’s look at the best holiday trio photos this past year. Along with the photos that did not make the cut. Some of these bloopers you may have seen. And others (I think) are being revealed for the first time. Enjoy!

Two of us taking a break. But there’s always a keener in the group.
Two of us prefer profile shots.
Two of us weren’t ready. Or maybe we were.
Tongue out.
I think we saw a fur ball. Or a spider. Or she put the treats on the ground.
Here the Coyote is praying for this to be over. And I’m not helping.
I think he wanted to be photoshopped out.
I’m bored

OK. The outdoor Christmas shots were not too bad. But all heck broke loose with the indoor shots. We got one with garland, but no antler or hat shots made it to a final product. You’ll see why…

Two on strike
Antlers off
She put them back on. We couldn’t believe it.
The Coyote refused to look at her.
She thought getting us to sit might make it better. Not entirely.
I’m this series, I was out of control.
Look at the Coyote. He’s sending out a look that says “please save me”. Someone call Animal Control.
I’m acting out but he’s ignoring me.
He knows he is doomed. I got the thing off so this is going to take even longer.
Lean to the right.
Bow ties are slightly less embarrassing than head gear.
Please. Someone be here!!!
The total gong show. Ears are as bad as antlers.
The Coyote looks like he could cry. In every shot.
It’s looking like the Boss’ ears are creeping forward. No worries. He doesn’t care.
Uh oh. Ears down.
For some reason, the Coyote didn’t totally hate the bow. Go figure. I’ve got tongue out.
He’s not smiling. But almost smirking….

So that’s our trio year in review. Note who looks good in almost every single shot….And please don’t worry about the sad looking Coyote. He did enjoy the treats, and boy he’s one happy guy when it’s over. And despite the fact that lots of photos are taken, the whole session usually lasts less than 10 minutes. That’s all My Enforcer’s blood pressure can take!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.