So here we are.  We’ll be waiting tonight for the kids who will never come.  At least our Halloween attire this year was pretty basic.  I don’t see any treat bags made up for dogs – mind you, if there ARE bags that my human has prepared- they would be out of sight.  For obvious reasons.

So let’s see what’s new in the dog world.  Here’s a good one…you know that there are drug sniffing dogs,  dogs that can sniff out explosives, dogs that can find and track humans by scent, dogs that can sniff out rats (and apparently moles – but we still don’t have any to borrow), dogs that can smell when a human is about to have a seizure and even dogs that are supposed to be able to sniff out bed bugs (yuck!).  But the latest that I read about are dogs that trained to sniff out human poop!  And why you might ask?  Because they can detect illegal sewage dumping that can contaminate water supplies and also septic systems with leaks or broken sewer pipes.  Contamination from human waste is a serious environmental problem so this poopy job is very important.  We just need a dog-poop sniffing dog – to find the Friendly Giant’s deposits in the leaves.  Frodo and I refuse to do so.

And here’s an interesting theory about dogs and our great  ability to smell…some people,think that we tell time by smell.  For example, when our human leaves for work, the house has a strong scent of her (and I’m not talking that smelly perfume she wears). But as hours go by, her scent fades – and we can calculate time by the strength of her scent.  Interesting theory…and all along you thought we were just psychic about when you are coming back…

And here’s one other news bit – check out this movie that will be released next year.  My human saw the trailer in the theater last week.  And she cried with JUST the TRAILER.  Heaven help her if she sees the film!   It might have been because her mother leaned over and said….”maybe Paxton DID come back…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4y_h9xbyDE

Phew.  Now that I have all you soppy dog lovers crying – have a happy Monday! AND a safe and happy Halloween!

So the big day is tomorrow.  And all I can say is Boo-humbug.  These photos, with the dreaded Dollar Store attire, were taken earlier in the month  and the Friendly Giant has even grown MORE since then.  I’m including the “good” shots and the more entertaining blooper shots.  You will note that Velcro dog and I look like we have been photo shopped in almost every picture.  We know the drill.  The Friendly Giant?  He is getting there – but clearly needs a BIT more practice.

WHY does he always get the halo?!  OK.  Don’t answer that…

Elroy got to be a devil too.  And at least THIS time, Frodo wasn’t an angel…

My favorite shot with the 3 bow ties.  One of 4,398 taken.

My human is still complaining about the after-effects of eating the Halloween treats from LAST year.  So what does she do?  She goes out early THIS year, when the treats were first being sold in stores and she bought enough for probably 30 kids.  Keep in mind that the big count last year was ZERO kids.  I honestly don’t know why she thinks this year will be different.  But she DID buy the treats and then needed to buy MORE because she already ate them all.  And she is down to the dregs now – so she will undoubtedly go out today and try to buy more.  And of course the treats she LIKES will not be the treats on sale.

I think we should be prepared with treat bags containing dog treats.  Who knows – maybe those “30” kids will all arrive with their dogs.  I think we need to be prepared.

Anyway – stay safe this Halloween.  Humans – keep us dogs in a secure spot – so we don’t go racing out the door when it is opened.  And make SURE we don’t get into any chocolate.  Or any other treats for that matter.  Except for the bags of DOG treats.  Make SURE you have lots of those ready!

Have a happy Howl-o-ween!

So the other day when my human was at the Vet’s office getting a prescription for my medication, there was a man standing next to her at the front desk.  And he was bemoaning the fact that he had just found ticks on his dog.  He was under the impression that ticks disappeared after the summer.  No such luck.  The pests are around all the time it seems.  Unless we are buried in 6 feet of snow.  And who wants that?! 

As my human stood there, she was saying how LUCKY she was that with the exception of the two I had on my head back in June, none of us has had any ticks.  And it’s NOT like we don’t run around in the woods.  She said she really shouldn’t say anything, because she was likely to jinx her luck…

So on Thursday night, while she was massaging my ears, she felt a tiny tiny lump behind my ear.  She parted my hair and took a closer look.  And horror of horrors – a tiny little tick.  She began to sweat – just like she did when she thought I had swallowed the game piece.  And the gruesome discovery called for immediate action.

She whisked me into the garage and up onto the grooming table.  She pulled out her trusty tick removal tool and was about to start the extraction.  At which point, she figured she had better take her contact lenses OUT – so she could actually see what she was doing.  The joys of getting older.  So she told me to wait while she took out her contacts and she returned with her trusty headlamp.   This was serious surgery.  She took a good look, got a grip and pulled on the intruder.  And he came out.  Or at least PART of him came out.  Aggghhhhhhhhhh.  She gave me a treat for staying so still, and attempted to remove the rest.  And more came out.  But there was a TINY black dot in the middle of the spot where the tick had been – and she didn’t know what to do about it.  So of course, she called the Vet.  Our phone is on speed dial to their office.  I’m surprised they don’t answer by saying “Hello Linda, what do you want now?”  Anyway, she explained the dilemma and they suggested she keep an eye on it – and if it appeared swollen after a few days to bring me in.  Well you KNOW that answer wasn’t good enough.  So she got tweezers.  And she attempted to get that TINY black dot out.  And I waited.  And she gave me more treats. And she tried again.  And I got more treats.  And she got a tiny pin which she sterilized and attempted again.  And I waited.  And I got more treats.  Honestly – I really AM a good dog when I have to be.  Well – when treats are involved.  In the end, after 4 hours of surgery (OK 4 minutes) she had extracted any remnant of the tick.  And half of my ear.  She put antibiotic cream on my head and told me what a BRILLIANT boy I was.  You’ve got that right.

After the procedure, we all underwent a thorough tick exam.And no more vagabonds were thankfully found.  Now I just hope she doesn’t start making me wear the spandex suit to keep the ticks off me.  And I have a feeling those tasty garlic tablets may be back on the menu. Maybe 6 feet of snow isn’t such a bad idea after all…

October 28.  And according to the crazy calendar, it is Plush Animal Lovers Day.  My human always marvels at photos of dogs with their piles of stuffed toys.  They carry them, they play with them – they love them.  But not in this sadistic household.  We torture them.  Heaven forbid they have eyes – those would go first.  And then we proceed to either decapitate the unfortunate victim, or dismember him.  Remember the time I amputated the bunny’s leg – and threw it up a week later?  You think I would have learned after that episode, not to mutilate stuffed toys.   But if given the chance, my human is SURE I would.  I can only have them for a game of fetch – and IF my human is with me.

Speaking of games, it was raining the other night, so my human decided to pull out those old Swedish board games.  The ones we got for Christmas a few years ago.  Remember, she didn’t buy us the Leve1 1 games – she went right for the Level 3 games – she figured we were SO smart.  Big mistake.  So first I got to play, while Velcro dog and the Friendly Giant were sequestered in the hall – watching me through the french door.  The one covered in olfactory art.  Anyway, we played the game with the little drawers.  You hide a treat in a drawer and the dog has to sniff it out.  Well of course I am brilliant at it – so my human adds the “more difficult” part.  You insert these black pegs in the drawer, so you FIRST have to lift out the peg and THEN you can open the drawer.  It took a while before I figured out the peg part.  I was wildly scratching and pawing at the whole thing and basically trying to destroy the whole board.  If my human wasn’t holding the board, it would have been game over.  Anyway I figured out how to pull out the peg, and if given the chance, would have chewed on it.  But my human was sitting right there – so after I pulled out the peg she encouraged me to open the drawer.  Which I did.  So after each time that I got the treats, I was instructed to lie down and wait while my human filled a new drawer.  So my human goes to insert the peg that I had taken out, and there IS no peg.  Now this peg thing is not all that small – it’s shaped like a tack – with a 1.5″ round disk that is 1/4″ thick and peg in the middle is about 1″ in height.   So she frantically looks for the peg.  She knew I had eaten the treats when I opened the drawer – but did I ALSO swallow the peg?  Her blood pressure begins to rise.  HOW could I have swallowed it?!  It’s NOT small!!  As she is looking around, I am bouncing around waiting for the next game.  The sweat is pouring off her and she takes me into the bedroom so she can search alone without me going crazy.  She gets down on her hands and knees and looks around the carpet – which, by the way is partly black in color. She CANNOT find it.  She looks at another peg and can’t imagine how I could have swallowed it.  Her mind immediately races to those websites that have photos of things that dogs have swallowed – like steak knives and light bulbs.  What to do?  What to do?  Go to the emergency clinic?  She’s REALLY sweating now.  She goes to the bedroom and looks at me and I’m raring to go for another game.  She goes back to the board game.  And goes down on her hands and knees.  Again.  And crawls all over the carpet.  And there, about 4 feet away is the peg.  In my raucous attempt to get the treats, I must have tossed the peg.  Talk about a happy human.  She was so relieved – she gave me a handful of treats.

Then it was the Friendly Giant’s turn to play.  He basically sat and stared at the board.  Even after he WATCHED her put the treats in the drawer.  Out of sight, out of mind. He got to go down to the rec room and play with a ball instead.  Which my human retrieves for him.

Frodo has no patience for board games.  He gets the concept, but sees no point in them.  He would rather destroy the board instead.

So that was the night of fun and games.  If you ask me, destroying stuffed toys is still a lot more fun!

Happy Friday!

So.  What do Theodore Roosevelt (26th US President) , Emily Post (authority on manners and etiquette), Dylan Thomas (poet), John Gotti (mafia head), John Cleese (actor and comedian), Patty Sheehan (American golfer) and I have in common?  We all share the same BIRTHDAY – and it’s today!  

And when I look at my fellow birthdayers, I think we share other things in common as well.  I like to rule the roost at home (or I THINK I rule the roost), I am the poster child for manners – although not exactly GOOD manners,  I enjoy writing, I can be just a little bit of a bully,  I am clearly comedic, AND I enjoy chasing a ball.  

I am looking forward to extra treats and bananas today.  And an extra long walk with JUST me and my human.  Just think – 5 years of adventure and entertainment – she’s so lucky I picked her.

Happy birthday to ME!

October 26.  And it’s Hillary Clinton’s birthday.  Right now, probably half of my readers are rolling their eyes. Well, according to the polls…less than half. 

This election is older than Elroy.   And what a dog and pony show.  I take that back – dogs and ponies behave better than both of the candidates.   One makes things up.  The other lies.  One is sexist.  The other deletes things.  Many people say they don’t like either candidate.  But let’s face it – one is going to win.  And the winner gets the Best in Show ribbon, even though they may or may not be the best example of the breed.

People also say, “is this the BEST America could do”?  Honestly, I should have kept my name on the ticket.   But really who would want the job?  Half the time, people don’t like you.  They complain no matter what you do.  And after 4 years (or 8!) you look awful.  More grey.  Lots of wrinkles.  You look like a Shar Pei by the end of your term. 

You need a really tough skin to have that job.  I’m too sensitive.  Not to mention the fact that my life already includes too many photos.  And I’m not much of a debater.  Frodo is the fast talker in this house. 

When it comes down to it, you could flip a coin to make your choice.  Or, perhaps select the candidate who has a dog.  Seems like a reasonable way to do it – whoever owns a dog can’t be ALL bad. 

Anyway, Happy Birthday Hillary.  Bet I know what you’ll be wishing for when you blow out those candles!

You know, it’s truly interesting what we dogs learn – just from watching one another.  AND how we learn routines…

Every day, our feeding routine is the same.  My human gets our food from the garage, while Frodo barks incessantly at her to hurry up.  And she repeatedly tells him to be quiet.  Clearly it isn’t working.  She brings in our bowls and we watch as she adds a bit of water to our kibble.  Or sometimes something else – like some yogurt. Or blueberries.   And then we go to our “assigned” meal locations – Elroy is fed in the hallway, on his own and Frodo and are are fed in different areas of the kitchen.  And Elroy knows where his place is.  So when my human finishes adding water or whatever to our bowls, he runs to his spot.  And he sits.  He has learned that he gets nothing if he jumps around like a crazy dog.  Not only does he sit, he waits when my human puts down his bowl.  He sits.  And he waits.  Until she says it’s OK to eat.  And then he dives in.  And he learned this with very little training.  I think he learned by watching me and Frodo.  He was kind of slow with his eating when he first arrived but I think when he watched Frodo and I vacuum our food, he also figured he should do the same. So he no longer wanders around when eating.  He is given the “OK” to begin and he never stops.

We have another routine at night.  Just before bed, my human goes to the treat jar and gets out 3 treats.  Then she instructs Elroy to go to his crate, which he does by following her.  She tosses in his treat and he is set for the night.  Then Frodo and I get our treats and we are free to sleep wherever we choose.  Generally ON our human’s bed.  On Sunday, during the day, Elroy discovered for the first time that he could get on my human’s bed.  And he thought it was great.  He would also have enjoyed eating the pillows if allowed to stay on his own.  So Sunday night, when we all went to the treat jar at bed time, my human quickly noticed that the Friendly Giant wasn’t there.  Where WAS he???  He had been right there in the kitchen two minutes before she went to get the treats.  A quick search found him.  All snuggled up on my human’s bed.  And he did NOT want to get off.  Talk about learning a new routine. Very quickly.  Unfortunately for him, my human feels that at just over 5 months old, the crate is the best place for him to sleep.  Especially if SHE is going to get any rest.

Now if he would just learn to bring BACK the ball when it is thrown.  Something tells me he eventually will…

The Reality Show continues…

Saturday night, well Sunday morning, around 2:30AM it all began.  I was restless.  Which always wakes up my human.  She was fearful I was going to have a seizure.  So she sat staring at me.  And then she realized, I wasn’t the ONLY restless one.  Frodo was also restless.  Elroy was sound asleep in his crate, but we PON boys couldn’t seem to get settled.  It was rather warm in the bedroom – we have had some VERY nice warm weather – so maybe that was it.  My human opened the window.  And that only made us more restless.  We had had a rainy day all day Saturday, and although the rain had stopped, it was CRAZY windy.  CRAZY windy.  Maybe we are both getting sensitive to wind sounds – some dogs are – but we never have been before.  Anyway, it took quite some time for us to settle down.

My human eventually fell asleep but not to worry – Elroy was sure to do his job of getting her up at 5AM – it didn’t matter to him that it was Sunday. Besides, he slept through the 2AM wake up call.  So my human dragged herself out of bed and took us out for our walks and fed us our breakfast.  And as she was doing it, she battled with Elroy, who I will now refer to as the Friendly Giant,  to keep his paws off the counter.  He is so big now, he stands up and can pretty much take anything off the counter.  What a great skill.  And of course, my human has been TRYING to keep him off by saying “off” and taking him by the collar every time.  Yeah – well that works if she is standing right next to him – but when she’s on the other side of the room “off” means the same as “come.”  Or “stay”.   Or “sit.”  They are not exactly ingrained in his vocabulary.  So she decided she really needed to do something.  A friend had suggested that my human take some mouse traps and set them under newspapers at the edge of the counter.  That way the traps would go off, not injure the dog but would frighten the dog from going on the counter in the future.  Now my human is NOT into aversive conditioning so she was nervous about the idea and not too crazy about it.  But after the wrestling match,  she decided perhaps she should give it a try.  And she would only try it since she could monitor the situation – and she would make sure that he could not possibly get hurt.

Well.  Picture this.  One very overtired human battling three dogs who are intrigued by these new “things” she is fiddling with.  She painstakingly sets three traps and strategically places them on the counter.  Then she puts newspaper on top.  SNAP, SNAP SNAP.  All of us just look at her.  She sets them again.  But she faces them well away from the edge of the counter because she doesn’t want there to be ANY chance that the traps would go off and hit him.  She’s quite nervous about this whole idea.  She gently lays the paper on top.  And she waits.

Well she didn’t have to wait long as counter surfing is the Friendly Giant’s favorite sport.  He puts his paws up and hits the paper. And nothing happens.  Clearly putting the traps facing the other way will not work.    She says “off” and after he has concluded that there is no food up there, he gets down.  And jumps up further along the counter.  Where there is no paper.  Or traps.  So much for THAT brilliant plan.  We all just look at her and then stare as we see her go to the counter and deliberately set off each trap. Snap. Snap. Snap.   She wasn’t sure about this idea to start with, and clearly it wasn’t such a good plan for our household.  Time to start googling other solutions.  Although I quite like that he can reach things – I’m thinking this could come in handy – as long as he agrees to share…

Happy Monday!

October 23.  And according to the crazy calendar, it’s National Mole Day.  When I saw that, I became QUITE annoyed – I mean a day to celebrate those creatures that have made our back lawn look like a construction site?   But no – this mole refers to a unit of measurement in chemistry. Guess those chemists had to come up with something celebratory – National Funnel Day or National Bunsen Burner Day doesn’t seem very interesting.  Mind you, there are probably days for those as well.

And speaking of our moles – they truly have taken over.  You can see the tunnels in the grass. Mowing the lawn is QUITE the challenge – as the ground is so soft in the numerous areas with the tunnels running underneath – that the mower gets caught up in the dirt.

Moles are not easy to get rid of – and my human definitely does NOT want to use poison.  Too much risk to us.  Traps are also hard to use as you have to bury them IN a tunnel and the mole cannot suspect someone has been there – which they can determine by the moved dirt.  So how to get the trap IN the tunnel.  Beats me.  

I think the easiest solution is to borrow somebody’s terrier.  One that really wants to catch vermin.  Elroy likes to dig and MIGHT get one, but the thought of him making even BIGGER holes, ending up covered in mud and then POTENTIALLY holding a mole is just too much for my human to consider.  But SURELY someone has a ratter in the area who would like to come out to our place and catch some moles?  Apparently there ARE people who take their terriers out to catch rats – like in New York city.  I’m not certain about the moles – but if there isn’t, I BET this could be a good business idea.  I think I’ll take it to Shark Tank or Dragon’s Den to get some funding for this endeavor.  Now I just need to convince my human that we need a pack of terriers…

I think I need to dig further into this idea.  Pun intended. 

Have a good one.

Well it’s Saturday and the forecast is calling for heavy rain.  Which means all the lovely colorful leaves will be coming down.  And it also means that Frodo and I will be doing our funeral march when we go out for our daily walks.  In fact, we even let our human sleep in – because we HEARD the rain this morning and we were in no hurry to go out.  But I suppose the good news is that my human will not be able to take more Halloween photos.  At least not outdoors.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again- getting the three of us to pose for photos is like getting three monkeys with their tails on fire to stay still and pay attention.  I have coined the phrase picnore – which means:

                                      

                                        

Who would EVER imagine we PONs would be the GOOD dogs?!  These photos are clearly proof.   We look stuffed.  Actually, with all the treats we received, we WERE a bit stuffed….

Have a great day!