Howdy blogaroos. Well project central has come to a grinding halt. Aunt Sue has gone home. No more triple dog walks. No more unsuspecting ricochet target. No more sneakers to steal. And no more two-person home projects. Things are pretty quiet here.

Aunt Sue and the Warden did lots of projects – all of which we supervised. And the Boss had his opinion on every one. All of them were pretty interesting. But probably one of my personal favorites was the capture and subsequent demise of Jiminy

It all began one evening after we completed our evening constitutionals. We came home and began to get ready to hunker down for the night. The Warden and Aunt Sue were in the living room – or should I say the Boss’ room, when the Warden heard a cricket noise. The screened kitchen window was open, so she figured the noisy bugger must be right under the window outside. She got up to check, and suddenly realized that the annoying chirp did not appear to be coming from outside. She called Aunt Sue to listen and of course we had to also come to provide our opinion. The two women agreed the sound was coming from under a cupboard. The Warden got a yardstick and Aunt Sue poked, prodded and swept it under the cupboard. The sound stopped. They figured they had squished the intruder. They went back to the living room.

Two minutes later, the chirping began again. This resulted in numerous Google searches about how to catch or get rid of a cricket. One source suggested vinegar and water- to put an end to the chorus. The Warden got a spray bottle and Aunt Sue doused the base of the cupboard. I watched with great interest, while the other guys just napped.

Silence. They figured Jiminy went to cricket heaven. Back they went into the living room.

A few minutes later, they heard something. Jiminy. But his shouting was much more subdued. They figured he might be on his last cricket legs. Silence.

The two women high-fived – they could get jobs as movers, plumbers and now pest control experts. All was right with the world.

For about 3 minutes. And then, Jiminy started shouting as loud as he initially did. The two women marched into the kitchen to see where the sound was coming from. This time – he was across the room – and under the stove. Or so the sound seemed. They doused the base of the stove with vinegar.

In the meantime, the Warden figured we boys should stay out of the action – in case things got really crazy. Mind you, I was the only one marching back and forth and participating in the action. Still – we ALL were placed in the bedroom while they planned the next line of attack. The Warden was in the living room, studying what kind of damage crickets can carry out if they infest your home, and Aunt Sue was sitting on a stool in the kitchen, staring at the stove. Suddenly she shouted “there he is- I have to get him before he goes back under.” The Warden grabbed the vacuum with the crevice tool- but Aunt Sue shouted “I need something bigger!” The Warden thought about the lawn mower for a second, but by that time brave Aunt Sue had grabbed a newspaper to smack Jiminy. She hit him and he jumped. And both women jumped. She smacked him again – and he again jumped. The third hit stunned him – just long enough for them to suck him up in the vacuum. Where they could see he was still alive in the canister. Meanwhile, the Boss started shouting that he wanted to know what was going on – and I joined in. The Coyote continued to nap.

We REALLY started shouting when we heard the Warden go out the front door. “Where are you going? Why can’t we come? Watch out for porcupines!” The Warden marched over to the compost bin and emptied the vacuum contents with Jiminy. May he rest in peace. Or compost.

Another project that the girls completed was the installation of a new screen for the patio door. Remember how we guys made our own dog door in the screen? Well the hole was not only big enough for us , but for an assortment of insects as well. Maybe that’s how Jiminy got in. So NOW, after much measuring, and great debates about exactly how the screen should placed in the doorway, we have one of those magnetic screens. As usual, we were sequestered during the actual construction, but once it was all up, the Warden was anxious to see if we could figure out how to use it. She sometimes underestimates our brilliance. All she had to do was call us from the other side and none of us had difficulty figuring out how to push our way through. She is so happy with the new addition- she threatened us with no treats if we attempt to pull at or swing on the screen. It’s been a few days – and so far so good. Mind you – we haven’t been sequestered out there alone with the screen…..

Anyway, Aunt Sue sadly left yesterday- and the Coyote doubled down on his ongoing hunger strike. If anything in his environment changes, we have determined it sets off a total eating protest. More significant than his usual picky behavior. He did it when Aunt Sue arrived (even though he adores her). Now don’t misunderstand- he DID eat – IF his meal included scrambled egg as a topper. OR Italian meatballs crumbled up in tiny pieces in his meal. And he didn’t turn down bread or blueberries. We’ll see how today goes – now that things are back to boring normal. Keep your paws crossed that he gets back in his usual routine- or he’ll be paying a visit to the Vet. And we know how much he enjoys that!

After Aunt Sue left yesterday, I went to an obedience heeling Workshop. The Warden said that I was positively slightly above mediocre. Things are looking up.

OK. That’s the updates from here. Enjoy this last week of August!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe. JBJ.

Howdy blogaroos! We’ve been on a blog hiatus for a few days while the Warden and Aunt Sue are keeping busy with a variety of home projects. The chief supervisor- the Boss- is loosing his voice from continually shouting out instructions. All while I try desperately to be right in the middle of everything they do – which usually results in me being sequestered in another room. True- I do tend to steal work supplies like rubber gloves and rags, but my intent is purely helpful. I want to be sure they are fully stocked – so I do movable inventory.

The first project began unintentionally- when the Warden mentioned that she wanted to “rearrange” some furniture. But we’re not talking about moving a chair and a pillow. We’re talking about moving rec room furniture up stairs and moving living room furniture down stairs. After much Googling, a call for an exorbitant quote from movers, several YouTube videos and lots of measuring, they opted to move the pieces out one door, drag them on a tarp on the lawn around the house, and a game of limbo carrying the massive sofas through the front door and through the hallway door. The process went on for what seemed like hours – while the three of us were sequestered in the bedroom. The Boss shouted out instructions non-stop. I joined in occasionally, but he was definitely the project foreman. The Coyote rolled his eyes and slept.

Thankfully, the Warden likes the new arrangement in the DFZ – and the Boss approves. He checked out the placement of every piece of furniture and promptly squeezed himself behind and half under the loveseat right next to the wall. He likes to pretend he is hiding – as if no one sees the giant fluff. I try to get in the DFZ and if I manage to bust my way through while the gate is momentarily open, I do a few loops around the coffee table and quickly look for something to steal, like a pillow. It’s my little “game” – catch me if you can. I’m pretty quick.

Another project involved replacing a bathroom faucet and sink. Really. Again we were sequestered out of the work zone – because neither of them have plumbing experience- so this was serious business. Still, the Boss knows a bit about plumbing, so again he shouted out directions. “Put that washer on the right way. Connect the water lines. I’m hungry. I want a snack. Put the drain pipe in. Do you need any silicone? It’s getting close to supper. Is that water I hear running? I’m hungry. Hurry up. Is anything leaking? Come on- I’m STARVING.”

Yes, after multiple YouTube videos, and after both of them memorized the instruction booklets in all 5 languages, they actually did it!

Just like after the first project, there was much high-fiving and dancing. We got celebratory biscuits.

Meanwhile, the lawn hasn’t been mowed in a week – so you can’t see us when we go out there. Just kidding – but you KNOW how obsessive the Warden is about mowing. Mind you, we have had several rainy days, so that hasn’t been great to mow. The Warden better do a good swoop before she begins- not only searching for the odd dog poo – but more importantly, the many dog toys hidden in the grass. We know that mowers can chop a perfectly good Nylabone in two.

Yesterday was the Warden’s birthday- so we sang Happy Birthday and begged futilely for cake. We got biscuits instead. Go wild, go crazy. Mind you, we didn’t get her a gift- I said it’s in the mail. I kept running to the door and barking like a delivery guy was there. I thought that was a good ploy.

We’ve had lots of good walks- all three of us together. Aunt Sue walks the Boss and the Coyote and I walk the Warden. We have to be careful at night – despite the fact that we are outfitted like glow worms. It’s not traffic we need to avoid – it’s porcupines! We’ve spotted several on our evening walks. Good thing those women are super strong enough to hold us – after all their project work. Aunt Sue says she’ll try any project – but she draws the line at porcupine quill removal.

OK. Time to see what we’re into today!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe. JBJ.

Howdy blogaroos. Squirmy here – after a lazy week. Things have been pretty quiet here at the asylum, although the Warden is now constantly battling the Boss, who has decided that the DFZ is THE place he wants to be. Whether she is in there or not. He rattles the gate to go in. Then after a short time, he rattles the gate to go out. He has the Warden hopping.! Because IF you don’t do what he likes, he either stands and barks, or comes over and paws at your leg. At last count, he was winning the game 125 -6. I thought I was determined. I’m not even CLOSE to his level of persistence.

And the Coyote has been closely following the moves of the Boss. But he’s training the Warden about food. Again. After 7 years, you would THINK she would be accustomed to his inconsistent relationship with food. Remember a while back when she was SO happy because he was eating every single meal? Yeah- well he decided that wasn’t so interesting. So he’s back on the intermittent fasting diet. The Warden KNOWS when he isn’t going to eat. She’ll put his food down and if he looks at her, it’s not a good sign. She leaves him, but can’t look at him. So she has to kinda hide out of his sight so he can’t see her. Because if he sees her watching him, it’s all over. They have these weirdo rituals. She goes out of his sight, and feeds us. But she can nonchalantly watch him through the French door – where he is sequestered. But IF she sees him do the head bop, it’s game over. What’s the head bop? Well he basically bops his head around the outside of the bowl like he’s giving it some kind of strange blessing. The blessing means “you shall go forth and be swept up by the human, to be returned later in the day. Be safe. And protected from PONs.”

Oh plus she’s gone to the pet store for the 539th time trying to find enticing food. Last visit, a very nice young woman recommended these meal topper things to be rotated with some other thing in his food. IMAGINE how thrilled the Warden was when he gobbled all his food with the meal topper. The next meal, she didn’t rotate with the other stuff – but he still ate the topper. Hallelujah. He likes it. Next meal, all gone again. Life was all sunshine and endangered butterflies. Next meal – head bop. So she cursed herself for not doing the rotation thing. She quickly chopped up this other stuff, went into the Picard feeding room, and put it in his bowl. She went out and pretended not to watch. He looked in the bowl, and continued the head bop. Picard 94. Warden 4.

She KNOWS he will eat. But of course she still worries. He’s not exactly a tubby dog.

What else…trained with the Borzoi babes, and also with the shaggies this past week. I’m learning stuff like retrieving a dumbbell over a jump. And I can do that just fine. It’s the Warden who needs training on how to throw a dumbbell. This is a woman who was always picked last in gym class – and I totally see why. One would THINK that tossing a dumbbell would not be a difficult thing. Not for her. It goes up in the air. It bounces every which way. Frankly I think I should probably be wearing a helmet- even though I’m sitting right next to her when she throws the thing. Then of course, it lands way to the right. Or the left. And although the objective is for the dog to go out over the jump and return with the dumbbell over the jump, if I see a quicker route around the jump, I take it. I’m smart. Why waste energy jumping? Think about it. There’s a fence with an open gate. What human in their right mind is going to climb over the fence rather than go through the open gates. And then carry your groceries over the fence on the way back. Come ON. We dogs are too smart for that nonsense. Clearly no dogs gave input when this exercise was designed.

Then we have this exercise where the human carries a glove. You heel alongside the human and the human nonchalantly drops the glove while you continue to heel. And we dogs are supposed to pretend we don’t notice. Of course we do, but we PRETEND we don’t notice. Then the human heels us away from the glove and gets us to sit. We have to go and “find” the glove. Now this is a perfect opportunity to do a little exploration. Especially if we do know where the glove is, and we’re in the mood for a little runabout. Eventually we must “find” the glove, pick it up, bring it back and sit in front of the human. In the process, shaking the life out of the glove is not really an objective of the exercise. But some of us like to add that component. The Warden has a friend who has an AMAZING obedience dog. And that dog does every single exercise with speed and exact precision. Except for one tiny little, itsy bitsy issue. She won’t let go of the glove. She races out, gets it, returns and sits squarely in front of her human, and when her human says “give”, everyone watching holds their breath to see if she’ll unclench her hold on the precious piece of leather. Yes. We dogs do like to put our own spin on this obedience stuff. We train you so well.

I think I’m going to write my own obedience manual with opinions on every exercise from the dog’s point of view. It no doubt would be a best-seller among the “obedience” people. They are in an unusual cult – or maybe clan is a better name. They stick together- because misery loves company. Just joking – they love to share ideas and commiserate about challenges. But at the end of the day, it’s all about having fun with your dog. And they all get so excited about a new puppy who will be starting his own obedience journey- like Freddy.

He’s a baby Schnauzer who belongs to a woman in the Warden’s clan. We’re excited to see Freddy as he grows – and learns MY obedience rules.

OK. Time to motor. And to finish taking my toys out of the box after the Warden puts them in. She’s cleaning. Extra. Which means one thing. Company! She hasn’t kept it a secret- probably because she knows we heard her talking about it. AUNT SUE is coming!!!! For TWO weeks. Extra walks. Extra treats. Extra ricocheting. Yeeeeee haw!!!!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe. JBJ.

Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy here to wish you a happy Friday!!! The first Friday of August – holy squeaky toy – summer is really moving along! And we haven’t even been swimming yet. Who am I kidding – I don’t care. I’m taking after the Boss and his aversion to water. We are land-loving PONs.

And speaking of the Boss- he’s walking around laughing because he says an old dog CAN teach humans a new trick. He’s got this “age has privileges” attitude since he turned 13 1/2 and he has totally used it to manipulate the Warden

So you know how we have the DFZ – (Dog Free Zone – for new readers)- which is the only room in the house where dogs are blocked out. It’s the living room – which has some fancy glass cabinet full of junk that the Warden doesn’t want to see broken. She figures that we canines are like bulls in a china shop – and we would go sliding into the cabinet. I would never admit it to her, but her fears are probably well-founded. We get to go in there for the obligatory Christmas photo in front of the tree with the glass ornaments- and then we’re whisked out. Anyway, there is an iron gate across the entrance to the living room.

One day recently, ( during a momentary brain fart), the Warden allowed the Boss into the room. Leaving me and the Coyote to stare through the bars like sad prisoners. Well. That one little breaking of the rule was all the Boss needed. He’s a PON. He doesn’t forget. So every time the Warden went in the room, he would bash and rattle the gate- like a prison rioter. Bash. Bam. And the Warden would say “stop it!” He just stared at her and bashed the gate until she gave up- and she let him in. BINGO. He had trained her in two short lessons. So NOW, he insists on going in there whenever she goes in. Heck – sometimes he bashes the gate to go in, even when she’s not in there. It’s like his own private throne room. And it’s 100% futile to argue with him. His training is complete.

He’s a persistent guy. A very persistent guy. And he does NOT give up on something he wants. Like the other night…

The Coyote was on another one of his hunger strikes. Yup he’s back to being a picky Picard again. He hardly ate anything all day – despite the Warden’s attempt to add yummy toppings to his food. Exasperated, the Warden gave up – knowing he would eat the next day (which he did). But, that night at bedtime, she gave him a treat in his crate. Which he ate. So the Warden ran and got another (in an attempt to circumvent a night of growling Picard stomach noises). He ate that biscuit. She got another. He ate it. So she got a few more. At which point he realized she was “making him eat” so he quit. So she left the treats in his crate. She went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and suddenly heard this loud KA-BAM. KA-BAM. KA-BAM. She rushed out of the bathroom to see the Boss trying desperately to figure out a way to open the door to the Coyote’s crate. He was bashing it with his paws – just like the gate to the DFZ. “Hey” the Warden shouted. “Knock it off.” He stopped. She went back into the bathroom. KA-BAMKA-BAMKA-BAMKA-BAMBAMBAM. She came out again and he was huffing and puffing from his frenzied effort to try to get into the crate. Meanwhile, the Coyote was sitting at the back of his crate just staring at the banshee trying to get in.

The ONLY way the Warden was going to be able to sleep was to get those treats out of that crate. She opened the door and fended off the starving PON who attempted to get in at the same time. They wrestled and she beat him to the treats – all while the Coyote sat there smirking. She took the treats and went into the kitchen – with the Boss in hot pursuit. “What are you doing with those?!”he shouted. “Putting them back in the treat jar Tubby – you’ve had enough!”she replied. Oh he was mad. He laid down right by her on the bed, panting in her face from all the exertion. She turned out the lights listening to the freight train next to her. It wasn’t two minutes before he went to the door and started barking. The Warden turned on the light, and looked at him. He barked again. She figured he needed to go out. She put on her slippers and headed for the door. But where did the Boss go? To the treat jar. He still felt those treats belonged to him. The Warden said “no way – we are going out – you got me up.” She took him out – and told him he better need to go. So she said “Go poop!” He promptly pooped in the middle of the driveway and headed back for the door. Once off his leash – guess where he ran? Yup. The treat jar. After all, he obeyed her command – so that deserved a treat. And guess what she did? She gave him one. The Boss wins again.

He was content to go to sleep after that.

Yours truly went to a practice training match yesterday and I was slightly above my usual mediocre performance. The Warden was pretty happy. My training is coming along. Still not as good as the Boss…

Time to get the boys moving. Our neighbors are away for a few days, so the Warden has been watering their garden. The Boss goes with her to supervise her work. That’s him looking unimpressed during yesterday’s watering. He made the mistake of walking in some puddles and she told him to lie down and wait while she finished. His feet are wet. You can see he was not a happy camper. The Warden giggled that he looked like a fluff monster. Whatever that is. She better watch that she doesn’t tick him off – or he’ll do more “training” with her. That guy is my idol…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe. JBJ.