So today let’s talk about routines…
For the past few days our human has been gone – and there have been some changes in our routines. Our sitter doesn’t KNOW our routines – like our human does and while it IS our job to teach her, and she HAS been here before, it isn’t always the same as when our human is here. It’s fine. But it’s different. And WE have to adapt. Which makes me just a little bit annoyed. Because frankly, when our human returns, SHE expects US to return to our routines. Well, yesterday I decided I wasn’t haven’t any of it. I was going to be a rebel and break a routine. And to tell the truth, I WAS just a little bit mad that we didn’t get to go on the trip. But before I tell you about what I did, let me give you some examples of the routines in our day.
1. WE wake up our human. Usually around 6 AM, but with this time change thing, we were shooting for 5 AM for a few weeks.
2. Frodo begins his morning barking. Which, as I have described before, takes place whenever our human is not within squirt gun range.
3. We sit obediently (sometimes) and wait while our human puts our food bowls down.
4. We eat – during which Frodo is silent – and then we go for our morning walks.
5. We pee and poop. Every morning. Even in the rain – although as we know – that IS a challenge…
6. We yogibeg (v. the act of longingly staring at our human in the hopes that she will allow us to lick her yoghurt container) while our human has her breakfast and then we allow her to finish her breakfast once she has complied with our request.
7. We allow her to shower – although as we have discussed, Frodo does, at times, continue his morning bark-a-long.
8. We prepare to begin our duties as guard dogs – which really means we get ready to sleep!
We have other routines – like Frodo INSISTING on springboarding off our human’s stomach whenever she is carrying our food dishes. He and our human have this dance routine – she steps back when he is about to launch himself, and tells him no. He steps back and then steps forward to launch himself. It’s a wonder we ever eat at all. Oh, and he succeeds 75% of the time. At springing off her stomach.
And we still have MANY other routines – but these give you a picture of how our day begins. Well yesterday, our human took us out for our morning walk. But what she didn’t know, is that I had convinced the guys to break the poop routine – kind of as a statement and protest about our human not taking us to the conference. We ALL agreed we would NOT do our morning poop. So our human took Frodo and me first for our walk. We walked ALL the way down the road. And ALL the way back home. Frodo kept looking at me, as if to indicate that this REALLY wasn’t such a good idea. But I gave him the stare. So we walked ALL the way back down the road again. And ALL the way back home. At this point, our human must have said “hurry up” about 4 million times. But I think she was on to us. I figured we would get another long walk – but she pulled our bluff and headed for the house. And at the LAST minute, Frodo bailed on the plan – and gave in. Or out. Anyway, he pooped. And got LOTS of treats.
She put us in the house, and took Paxton out, who IMMEDIATELY bailed on the plan. Which left yours truly as the last dog standing.
I finally DID poop in the afternoon and in retrospect, I’m not sure that this was the best radical plan for breaking routines and making a statement. I mean, my stomach was a bit queasy by the afternoon. But I held my poop, er my ground, and I made my point. Which I’m not really sure what the point was any more. But anyway, I made it. Literally. And figuratively. And today, well…I’m thinking that I won’t do that again. I think that going back to our regular routine is a good idea. And while I WAS annoyed with our human for going away, I really am glad that she is home. Very glad. But don’t tell her. It will be our little secret. Gotta go – Frodo is barking. Time for some breakfast!
© 2014 Linda Wozniak