Call me Chip

Hey hey hey. It’s me – Squirmy Wormy, Crash Test Smarty who has another new name!! Chipper. Or Chip for short. And I got it for two reasons…..1. That little chip in My Enforcer’s hand and 2. That little chip in the corner of her iPhone! Yup!! I’m back at it. Destroying everything in my path like a tornado. It’s quite a skill!

So we know about the hand debacle but you haven’t heard about the phone fiasco. It happened yesterday morning….

For SOME reason, My Enforcer got it in her head that she wanted to listen to music while taking us on our morning constitutionals. I don’t think I’ve EVER seen her do that – but The Boss said she went through a phase like that some years ago. Something about making her walk faster. If she wanted to walk with more spring in her step she should have just told me – I can pull faster!! But no. She wanted MUSIC to make her move. So after I did my 23 laps around the dining room table and sat waiting semi-patiently at the front door, I saw her fiddling around with some ear phones and her phone. Cool. As long as she doesn’t forget my treats, I don’t care if she carries a donkey – I just wanted to get moving!

Her pockets were full of treats and poop bags and she shoved her phone in a pocket too. She put my leash on, struggled to stretch a mitten over her hand splint, and put her other mitten on. And we were FINALLY ready to roll.

It was a cold but dry and sunny day. All the trees and bushes were covered in tiny sparkly diamonds. It was sooo pretty. So as we went out the door, into the magical world of glitter and peppy tunes, My Enforcer smiled and thought how PERFECT her morning was going….

And I trotted along in front of her in my ever-lasting state of happiness and wild abandon. And all was right with the world for about 50 feet. We weren’t even 1/3 of the way up the driveway, when for no explainable reason (other than my inner devil) I suddenly turned back toward My Enforcer and did a joyful ricochet off her stomach. Which caused me to tangle my front legs in those ear phone cords. I not only yanked them out of her ears, I pulled the phone out of her pocket and spun around tangling myself further in my own leash! Yup. I was like a calf at a rodeo tangled in ear phone cords and leash, and dragging her phone in the process. Which I guess caused the chip. My Enforcer shouted “Stop. Sit.” Which was awkward to do given how tangled I was. She mumbled something like “2 minutes. We weren’t even 2 minutes out the door!!!” I just looked at her wanting her to untangle me. Of course it required that she remove both mittens, one of which I then attempted to eat.

I think it was at that point that she screamed. OK. It wasn’t a super loud banshee scream – it was more like a mini scream-groan. Probably only 3 or 4 neighbors heard it.

After I was released from my bondage, and she retrieved her (thankfully) still-working phone with a new chipped corner, and she plugged herself back in, and she put on her mittens, we were ready to rock and roll. I didn’t do any more ricochets for the rest of the walk. And I came every time when called when I was let loose on the trail. Thankfully she never lost any treats out of her pocket during the tornado. A few times I even came to her when I wasn’t called. Because I had this weird feeling she was trying to lose me. But I’m sure it was my imagination…

So THAT is how our morning began and how I got the name Chip. Go ahead – complete the following sentence: Good thing I’m ____!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.


Hey blogaroos. Squirmy here. With another episode of my large life.

Not a lot new here – except….something new on the decorative front. So we know all about the whole “creative carpet renovations” that the Coyote and I have done to the dining room carpet….Well I should say we did a long time ago, because since My Enforcer sprayed it with this toxic product meant for horses – our decorative juices have not been flowing. The main ingredient in the concoction is pepper. And oooo-eeeee- neither of us really care for it. So we have left the carpet alone.

However, we have a NEW decorative item in our abode. Which My Enforcer made…

During some recent bad weather, she decided to make a new project. She made something called a floor cloth. Except it’s not made of cloth. Go figure. It’s made of vinyl – and she painted it with a stencil. She did it in the garage – so we canines have not been allowed in there since this project began. It goes back to the whole “dogs and paint” issue. She didn’t want us walking over her newly painted “rug”. So to prevent paw prints and dog hair, we were banned. And even after it was painted, she put some coating on the top, and that had to dry for like forever. Well she finally dragged the 3 x 6’ thing into the kitchen yesterday, while we were all sequestered outside. We watched with great interest through the olfactory art on the deck door, shouting out our opinions as to placement of the new decor.

She placed it in front of the kitchen sink, and stood back to get a look before the decorating team would be let loose. Even with all her efforts to keep us away from her “masterpiece” she still did detect the odd dog hair in the varnish. Of course she did. There’s no place in this house that dog hair can’t reach. No matter how much she uses that new vacuum. The one that has this cool whirring sound, precipitating barking from ALL of us every time it’s used. Great fun. But I’m off topic…

So the door was opened and the troops raced in – with yours truly jumping right over The Boss to be the first one to see the new addition. Meanwhile, the Coyote sauntered in and didn’t even really care.

We immediately stood on it to test it out. Then we sniffed it and closely examined the paint job. We approved the colors and design. Grey. And beige. Like me. Which is perfect because it will hide my hair.

We actually didn’t pay much attention to the edges. Yet. They COULD look nice with a scalloped effect-but not right away. We’ll leave it like this for awhile anyway.

OK. Time for my morning walk about. Have a happy day. Oh. And if you need my decorating consulting, just let me know!

Oh …. ummm…. before I close….I should mention one last word on the hand debacle. I don’t really want to go into the details…. but let’s just say – it will be FINE!!!!!!! Hurray!!!!!!In a few short weeks. After the fracture heals…..Good thing I’m cute….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Blablabla SIT. Blablabla SIT.

Howdy blogaroos. It’s Nonobaddog here. That’s my latest name. Along with a couple I can’t write here.

Now don’t worry – I didn’t do anything REALLY bad in the last two days. Besides – the whole hand injury thing counts for my share of badness for at least a week. My Enforcer did end up going to the doctor – who ordered that she go for an X-ray. My Enforcer is 99% certain nothing is broken (based on her internet Googly medical degree) – but the doctor wanted to make sure. I’m hoping we hear something today so we can just leave this whole mistaken ricochet/stolen biscuit/smashed hand episode behind.

Since that unfortunate momentary lapse of sanity, I have been much better behaved. Mind you, the bar was set kinda low. For example, now when My Enforcer bends over to pick up our food dishes, I am no longer allowed to tackle her like a football linebacker. I must SIT and not move. I must sit and wait patiently for my crate door to be opened – instead of throwing myself against it while she is trying to undo the 5 carabiners necessary to secure it. I must sit when my leash is put on instead of ricocheting multiple times off the front door. I must sit and wait patiently while my food dish is being filled instead of leaping at and barking in the face of the Boss. I must sit and wait while My Enforcer is picking up poop instead of knocking her over so that she ends up with snow all over her pants – just like in the photo. Bottom line (pun intended) I’m doing a LOT of sitting. Blablabla sit. Blablabla sit. My new life…

So besides my sore butt, not much new around here. The snow melted a bit after some rain we had, revealing the expected “land mines.”

But hey – I found a cool story about a dog who does something I want to try. It’s a Shiba Inu – who paints! Check him out:

So like I want to do this. But My Enforcer said that putting me and paint in the same room wouldn’t be a good idea. She also said that I would likely try to chew the paint brush. I said just put paint on my feet. People do that with their dogs. Come on – wouldn’t that be fun?! All you readers who want to see me paint – let me know. I could be the next PONcasso – I know it!!!!

OK. Time for me to go and SIT and wait patiently by the door so I can go on my morning constitutional. AFTER I do 43 laps around the dining room table at breakneck speed. A guy’s gotta burn off energy somehow.

Yup. I’ll say it again. Good thing I’m cute.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Inner devil

Hey hey hey blogaroos!!!!! It’s me – Squirmy Wormy! On another marvelous Monday. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. We got snow on Saturday- but yesterday was a perfect day with blue skies, white covered evergreens and yellow patches that mark the trail where we boys have gone.

Yesterday, My Enforcer began reviewing something called “impulse control” with me. Because I apparently have none. I have moments when I become totally out of control like I’m possessed. My Enforcer is thinking about bringing in an exorcist. She says my compulsive racing around and ricocheting off others is no longer considered appropriate. My Enforcer said I should be starting to mature – and I should be able to contain myself a bit more. Same thing with biting. I am now ignored when I attempt to nibble at clothing and skin – especially while I am also doing my leaping lizard routine.

The new world order began after an unfortunate little incident on Saturday when I attempted to ricochet off My Enforcer. I was kind of playing -and also attempting to grab a treat (which she was offering to the Boss) – and she wasn’t prepared for yours truly. As she attempted to step back and maintain her balance, she somehow bashed her hand full force into the door frame. Wham. She hit it HARD. She didn’t think much of it at first but in another minute or two it really started hurting. She put ice on it and wrapped it in a bandage.

Good thing she has lots of friends in the medical fields – doctors, physiotherapists, and occupational therapists – so she was able to get some good advice about what to do.

It was pretty sore and swollen yesterday- so she was being careful with it. It’s probably just a sprain, but if it doesn’t seem a bit better today, she might go for an X-ray.

Anyway – that whole fiasco precipitated my impulse control lesson. I did it with the Boss who has good control – so he was my model. My Enforcer would put a treat down – and I was not allowed to touch it. Now before you think this is something totally new for me I should explain that I DO have SOME impulse control. Like I patiently wait for the “free” command when I’m waiting for my meals.And I can wait while the bunny is hidden during our games- so that’s also control. I’m beginning to sit nicely when my leash is being put on – but that can take a few minutes. I get SO excited about going out. So I’m working on that control.

I have also learned control when taking photos. And I’m pretty good at that!!

I can also be a superstar when I’m doing my obedience training. But once training is over….I go crazy. Yup. I’m possessed. AND I’m a puppy. Let’s not forget that!!

The thing is – it’s impulse control AND the fact that I’m kinda going through my teenage stage. So I’m a BIT pushy. Both the Boss and the Beatnik have had to tell me off. My Enforcer said I need to learn better manners. She said I’m sometimes too smart for my own good. I’m not sure how one can be too smart – but I think I’ll take it as a compliment.

Anyway, the Boss said to go with the flow more. He said you get treats for doing nothing. You settle in your place – and you get treats. That seems like a pretty good deal.

So I’ll try my best to control my inner devil. But given that I still have two more months before my first birthday, I hope My Enforcer will be a BIT lenient. I promise not to cause her to sprain any more body parts. At least not today. Good thing I’m cute….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Picard rules

Greetings blog readers. Frodo here for your reading pleasure today. On a snowy Saturday. Yes, winter remains and I dare say it will be awhile before the snow will totally disappear. The annual snow melt is marked by the reappearance of a variety of dog toys currently buried in the yard. As well, the melt also results in the yearly “discovery of the poop.” Yes – Her Highness attempts to keep the yard clean by picking up and disposing of our mounds, but it is inevitable that some are missed – particularly during storms when they are consequently blanketed in snow. Only to reappear as a sure sign of Spring when the blanket melts.

Because we will no doubt be sequestered inside today, Her Highness will have to find ways to tackle our boredom. One way, which all of us know, is the raucous game of “find the bunny.” Or squirrel. Or lamb. Whatever stuffed toy has the least number of “surgical incisions.”

Now the imp and I enjoy a good game of “find it” and we race to find the toy as quickly as caninely possible. And the Beatnik also appears to enjoy it. Mind you, he plays much more slowly. He says he is methodical hunter. But some days, well he would rather not play at all. The following is a dialogue I overheard last week between Her Highness and the Beatnik when they went downstairs to play the game.

They went into a bedroom….

HH: Elroy sit. Elroy sit. Sit. Sit Elroy. Elroy please sit. OK if you’d rather lie down, so be it. Now STAY.

Elroy: Whatever.

She leaves him and goes to hide the lamb somewhere in the rec room. When the animal is hidden – she shouts to the Beatnik who is still in the bedroom

HH: OK Elroy free. Find the Lambie. OK free. Elroy. Elroy find the Lambie. ELROY !!!!

The Beatnik saunters down the hallway.

HH: Find the Lambie. Where is he? Where is he? Find him.

The Beatnik: Did you really lose the Lamb so quickly? You cannot remember where he is? OK – sure I’ll find him.

The Beatnik slowly makes his way around the room. Sniffing at the ground.

HH: Can ya speed it up even a little?

The Beatnik: Patience woman. I’m methodical. Hey. Where did you get this chair? Is this new? I like the color of it. Let me take a real look at this. It matches the sofa really well.


The Beatnik: Oh yeah. I’m supposed to be playing the game. Was it a bunny I’m supposed to be looking for?

He walks RIGHT past the lamb, who is hidden partly under a pillow on the sofa. He appears to look right at it, but continues in his search.

HH: Elroy. Elroy. FIND the Lambie.

The Beatnik: I’m looking.

The Beatnik continues to wander around the room. He starts heading for the bedroom where he had been sequestered.

HH: It CANNOT be in there! YOU were in there!

The Beatnik: Maybe he moved.

HH: He is in here!!! Find the Lambie

The Beatnik: If you know where he is, why do I have to find him?

Her Highness walks over to where the Lambie is partially hidden, and points to it.

The Beatnik: Cool. You found him. Good for you.

HH : Aaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Needless to say, his game playing did not last long that day. And as I stated earlier, some days he does enjoy playing. And he is successful. And other days – well he plays by “Picard rules.”. Which means – I’ll think about your request. And MAYBE I’ll play….

I can hardly wait to see which rules he will be playing by today….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

How much would YOU pay…

Howdy do blogaroos. Squirmy here! Hoping your week is going great – and reminding you that just 30 more days until Spring officially begins!!!!! Sunshine, flowers, butterflies, ticks…I can’t wait!!!

Not much new here after all the rally stuff. So since things here are kinda stable (although two barrettes have gone missing and somebody will probably be pooping bits of plastic) I thought I could tell you about a cool news story!!!!

It’s about Kim- a Border Collie from Wales. She broke a record before her first birthday. Do you know what it was?! Fastest sheep herding dog? Nope. Dog who herded the most sheep? Nope. No – Kim holds the current world record for the most expensive Border Collie ever sold!!! And do you know how much a farmer paid for Kim? OK you give up. Kim sold for….drum roll…..£27,100. That’s about $37,500 US dollars and a million Canadian!!!! Just joking. It’s about $47,400 Canadian dollars! The man who trained her said she was sold at just under a year of age- because she’s super smart and can move cattle and sheep like a more experienced, older dog.

I think I’m in love with the smart, cute redhead. I have a crush on her after seeing her photo on-line, but I kinda think she’s too rich for me.

I wonder if My Enforcer would ever sell me if she could get that kind of money. Nah. I’m priceless. She wouldn’t sell me . Mind you- there have been days when she has said SHE would PAY somebody to TAKE me. But she was joking. I’m sure she was. She had to be… I’m adorable. And I don’t bite THAT hard…..

And speaking of crushes, check out this photo that My Enforcer took at the match the other day. This is Jerome. Better known as J-Rome. Now J-Rome doesn’t love all dogs. He tries to boss around the other dogs in his household including two Old English Sheepdogs. Who could squash him by sitting on him. But he doesn’t care. I think maybe he has a Napoleon Complex. Anyway, he kinda ignores or grumbles at most dogs. Except for one breed. Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. He met one and fell in LOVE with her. And then, at the match – he spotted a different Cavalier across the room. And he was mesmerized. Here he is watching her do her entire rally run…

You could NOT break his attention. He was totally infatuated.

Meanwhile, rumor has it, a Borzoi girl had her sights on yours truly. And she is going to be in my class. Now THIS could be interesting. I’m kinda young for the dating scene – but if that Borzoi has good biscuits- well she’ll definitely get my attention. Because we know that the way to this guy’s heart is definitely through my stomach…..

So that’s the news for today. Have a thrilling Thursday!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Everything you never wished to know about rally….

Hey blogaroos!!! It’s Squirmy here!!!!!! I hope you have all recovered from your chocolate overdose from Valentine’s Day. But don’t worry – if you’re concerned that you ate too much – Lent starts tomorrow! So you can give up eating chocolate. And like if you’re not into Lent – it’s OK. Giving up chocolate for like 40 days probably isn’t a bad idea no matter what! Lent is kind of like a second shot at New Year ‘s resolutions. Personally, I’m not giving up ANYTHING for Lent. I have no self control- so why pretend? If I have to- I’ll give up cigarettes. That’s what My Enforcer reportedly does. Even though she has never smoked in her life.

So. Yesterday, the Boss and I were in something called a Rally Obedience Match. Now for those readers who don’t know what rally is, let me explain. If you DO know what rally is, you can skip the next 50 paragraphs….


A dog

A handler

A room filled with a variety of signs in a particular order

A judge

Objective: The dog and human go from sign to sign and the dog must perform an action at each sign. For example, walk slowly; down immediately; go over a jump; walk backwards; circle next to the human… you get the idea. The signs are put together in a course and you have to go in the course order. The human must be able to read the signs and understand them in order to tell the dog what to do. And they’re kinda written in like hieroglyphics.

Levels: There are several standard levels of performance – or titles you can get: Novice, Advanced, Excellent and Masters. Dogs at the Novice level do everything while on leash and have to know 142 different possible signs. Even though the course only uses like 14. Dogs at Masters are off leash and actually need to know over 300!!!!!!! But they do 20 something in a course.

Where to compete: Dog clubs put on something called trials. And I hear they can be very trying, depending on how you do.

What happens: A judge watches you as you go around, and you get a score if you do each sign correctly, and points are deducted depending on how much you screw up. You need a particular number of points to pass. You have to pass three trials to get your “title” – like Rally Novice , before you go on to the next level. Sometimes you get totally expelled for something- like if you pee or poop in the ring. So always remember to go before you start.

So those are the basics. Like there’s more stuff- but that’s all I understand.

So. The Boss has his Rally Excellent title . And now he’s been practicing for his Rally Masters title. Before you go in a “trial” which, in other words, is a real competition, you can do something called a match. In a match, it’s set up like a trial – but it’s a practice. And you don’t get a score. It gives you an opportunity to see how you do with distractions (other dogs and people watching you) and what you still need to practice before you enter a real trial.

So. There was a match yesterday. The Boss was entered in Rally Masters and I was entered in Novice. And the Boss knows the drill. He’s learned the signs he needs to know for his Masters title. BUT, he has My Enforcer going around the course with him. Which is his only problem. And it’s a big one. Why? Here’s a little secret… when My Enforcer was working, she could do a speech for several hundred people. She could do live TV and radio interviews. She was excited and a bit nervous doing those things – but it was really no huge deal.

HOWEVER- put her in a competition with one of us canines – and she literally shakes. Really. It’s nutso.

So. She and the Boss were competing early in the morning in the MATCH. The MATCH. No points. No serious competition. A PRACTICE match. And she got SO nervous, she could barely read the signs! Even though you get to walk the course ahead of time – AND the courses are also posted to study before you go in. The poor Boss didn’t know WHAT was wrong with her. If it had been a REAL trial, they would have failed. Really because she was so wonky! I mean it wasn’t a total blow out – but it wasn’t pretty.

So after they finished, she took a photo of the Rally Novice course, and brought the Boss home. Because although yours truly was entered in Rally Novice, it would be several hours before I needed to do my thing. And we live like 15 minutes from the facility.

My Enforcer figured she could practice the signs for the course with me, before I got there. Because- get ready- I HAVE NEVER EVER EVEN SEEN A RALLY COURSE. Most dogs take a class and practice doing the signs in a class. Not me. I had never even seen the little signs set up on the floor. And I LOVE to grab stuff on the floor. So was it premature to even enter me in a Match? Hello? Yes!!! But she did. So when she got home she decided she had better see if I could actually do the actions for each sign on my course.

We practiced as soon as we got home. And I wasn’t too bad at home – but she figured in a place with lots of dogs and noises – she would need reinforcements like super duper treats. In a REAL competition trial, treats are NOT allowed. It is illegal to have treats. BUT – in a practice match you CAN USE treats.

As you know, we PONs like ANY kind of treat – but My Enforcer figured something “different” would be good. Like novelty would somehow work better. She thought I would LOVE hotdogs. She thought hotdogs would be the answer to everything. Almost every dog loves hotdogs. So she raced to the closest convenience store. They were out of hotdogs. Really. So she bought ham and cheese stings. When she got in the car, she Googled and found that ham is too salty for us canines. Seriously- I’m not making this stuff up. So she went to another convenience store. They had hotdogs. Praise the Lord.

She raced home, diced up and cooked three hotdogs in the microwave. Then, for some unknown reason, she suddenly decided she should practice one of the signs again with me. She took me downstairs to practice and I was wild – but got the idea.

So we came upstairs and found that the Boss had stolen the bag of cooked diced hotdogs off the counter. And ate every tiny piece . I think he was mad because he only got regular treats for his practice.

My Enforcer diced and cooked up more hotdogs. Suddenly our time to get back to the site was quickly approaching. It’s because she spent all that time in the hotdog quest and in hotdog dicing and cooking. She loaded me in the car to go back to the site. We got 1/3 of the way there and she realized she forgot my leash. Really.

If you’re still reading – you’re more patient than me…..

So we got to the site – after we went home to get my leash – with little time to spare before I had to go in to do my thing. Of course, when I entered the building with a bunch of dogs, my head exploded. I didn’t even know my name. And frankly, although I will eat anything- I can’t say I was THRILLED with the hotdogs. I mean she may as well have given me kibble. So much for the quest…

BUT. I did like the cheese strings. A LOT. So those were going to be my secret weapon. I was escorted back to the car to wait my turn.

So. She knew the course. She had the cheese. And THEN – before she got to walk the course (which everyone does first without their dogs), the instructor announced she was changing it. What?!!! A different course?!!! With signs we didn’t practice at home? It appeared that we might be totally doomed.

And guess who was the FIRST dog on the list to compete? Yup? Me. The Squirmster.

Drumroll……finally. We walked in the ring and the instructor said “Are you ready?” My Enforcer said – “kind of” – because she had retrieved me from the car and with her mask on, her glasses steamed up. She took them off, waved them around, put them on and said “ready.” She still couldn’t totally see.

The first two signs I was a bit confused (probably because I was being led around by a partially blind woman) , but after the third sign, well let’s just say the smell of those cheese strings hit me. I heeled like nobody’s business. I think I heard fireworks. My Enforcer almost started crying. I wasn’t perfect – but I was in my groove. I was on fire. OK. That’s a bit of an exaggeration. I was sparky. That’s better.

We finished the course and the crowd went wild. OK. They clapped. Even though they clapped for everyone, I didn’t know that – so I was all excited. I was a Superstar. In my mind anyway.

So what started out as a rather poopy day ( which was not the Boss’s fault at all), ended up being a good day after all. I think My Enforcer wasn’t as nervous with me – because she had no expectations! A case of underdog success.

So that’s IT for the longest blog ever. And now guess who is going to be enrolled in Rally classes?! Yup. Back to academia for me!!!! I sure hope she skips the hotdogs, though and just brings the cheese strings…..

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Valentine’s Day

Greetings blog readers. Frodo here on this the 14th day of February. And allow me to quote myself – today is the “day that celebrates a martyred guy who was the patron saint of love, happy marriages, beekeepers, the plague and epilepsy. I’m not joking. Hallmark decided to capitalize on the love part. No one wants to send plague cards”.

That’s what I said LAST year. Now, given the pandemic and the Great Pause, perhaps plague cards COULD be sold. Kind of a combination of “get well”, “good luck”, “quarantine is over” and “happy vaccination.” Pandemic cards….I must work on this.

But I digress. Today is the day to celebrate love. And according to one source, one in five people reports that they would rather spend Valentine’s Day with their pet rather than their partner. I certainly know Her Highness falls in that group. Mind you- she has no partner. Which is a minor technicality. What surprised HER about the fact is that MANY people buy Valentine gifts for their pets. Let me repeat that – MANY people buy gifts for their pets. Heart shaped biscuits and toys are easily purchased at any pet store. And of course, there is the dreaded Valentine attire -including collars, leashes, coats and of course scarves bedazzled with hearts. But alas, Her Highness already warned us not to get too excited about gifts- she said the large order of bully sticks that arrived the other day in the mail will have to suffice. I can’t say I’ll miss a bedazzled heart scarf anyway. And biscuit shapes are irrelevant when one swallows them in .68 seconds.

As usual, we had to pose for the obligatory holiday photo shoot. At first she took individual shots. And of course, the Beatnik was the least willing subject. But she did manage to get one where he doesn’t look totally depressed.

The group shot was its usual challenge with much moaning and groaning and begging – all on the part of Her Highness. You see the best result above. But no. That wasn’t enough. Her Highness thought THIS was funny…

Not a very loving gesture for Valentine’s Day I might point out. It never happened. But I have a strong, confident personality- I can take a joke. This time.

Anyway, we boys have agreed to behave today and to be totally charming and lovable. Well – the Beatnik and I agreed. The imp is a wild card. One minute loving and the next a velociraptor from Jurassic Park.

But we all do love our human and it seems appropriate to resurrect Viktor’s first Valentine poem..

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

You take us on walks,

You pick up our poo.

We steal your mittens,

We jump on your bed,

We bark incessantly

While waiting to be fed.

You brush us and groom us

While we squeak and complain,

You have great patience

While we drive you insane.

We make you laugh

We make you cry

You teach us about manners

And SOMETIMES we try.

We snuggle and cuddle

And love belly rubs from you,

We give you big licks

And giant wags too.

We’re happy you picked us

And we’ll protect you till the end

We love you – our human –

From you very best friend.

Happy Valentine’s Day to Your Highness. We hope you like the roses we sent – they should be arriving some time today. We used your credit card.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

The Frozen Picardy

Frodo here blog readers. Reporting from the moderately frigid Great White North. I say moderately – as I am well aware that other parts of Canada and the US are experiencing truly frigid temperatures. We have not had it terribly cold, although yesterday morning it was -11 Celsius. That’s about 12 Fahrenheit for my American friends. But the average for the next few days appears to be around -3C (26F) – with temperatures possibly breaking the freezing point next week. But don’t hold me to that forecast. I’m no groundhog.

Speaking of which, the overgrown chipmunk’s forecast here in Nova Scotia for an early Spring was promptly followed by our snowstorm. I will say no more about rodent forecasts….

The cold temperatures resulted in an interesting phenomenon yesterday which I refer to as the Frozen Picardy. It almost sounds like some kind of special chilled dessert. Or a cocktail. But no – it isn’t. It is when the Beatnik goes outside in particularly chilly weather, and he becomes frozen and somewhat paralyzed in place. Now I’m not talking about him being outside for any extreme length of time. I am talking 1-2 minutes. And he suddenly is unable to use all four legs. First one leg is held high. Then after a few moments of suspended animation, another leg is held up. I should note there are always three on the ground, although he does attempt to balance on two – unsuccessfully. And the attempt to poop is particularly challenging. I would record it, but Her Highness will not allow me to.

Yesterday, at one point, the Beatnik and the imp were in the backyard. It was a crisp, sunny day and they literally had been out for about 5 minutes. The temperature was about -6C (21F). Her Highness looked out the door and saw a rather odd sight. The Beatnik was suspended on 3 legs near the lower deck door. He was not moving. Meanwhile, the imp was perched on the ledge above him (which is about 18” off the ground) and he was in a prone position looking as if he was a leopard lying in wait for some zebra to wander by. Neither were moving. Her Highness called to them and still no one moved. She thought she might have to get her boots on to go out and see if she could solve the problem. She shouted again to the imp. Who was watching his helpless frozen victim. Finally, when Her Highness headed toward the deck steps, the frozen animation came back to life. It was like a movie that was taken off pause. The imp ran to Her Highness and the Beatnik hobbled across the frozen snowy wasteland of the backyard, and attempted to poop. The balancing problem was notable, but I think he had been “holding things in” while he was suspended – so he managed to go very quickly – using 2-3 legs. Afterward he immediately raced back to the house.

Now I am well aware that when it is very cold out, any of us dogs may exhibit the frozen foot shuffle. But the Frozen Picardy does seem a BIT different. Her Highness actually consulted at least one other Picard owner, and let’s just say, the Beatnik is NOT unique when it comes to his frozen stance. Interesting. Very very interesting…

I had a rally Masters class last night, and sometimes I think I should advertise for a new handler. I can easily read and understand the signs. Her Highness- not so much. On several occasions she nearly crashed into me because her ability to walk a straight line is challenged enough – let alone her ability to do spirals or figure eights. And heaven forbid she need to remember the sequence in a sign – like sit-stand-down. Anything beyond one action is asking a lot of her. And she doesn’t even need to do them! She just needs to remember them and to tell them to me! In order to ever get this title, I have a lot of training to do. With her. We are in practice match on Monday. It should be extremely entertaining. And not only will my run be interesting- but – this is almost to ridiculous to even mention – she entered the imp in rally novice! The lad has never even SEEN a rally sign, let alone run a course. I think I should sell tickets for THAT performance.

Well, it is time for our morning constitutional. Yours truly gets to walk with the Frozen Picardy. I’m thinking Viktor’s idea about having a GoPro camera could be wildly entertaining…..

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Cowboy Wo

Howdy blogaroos. It’s Squirmy. Here to tell you about my latest nickname. At least it’s one I can put in print for a change. I now go by Cowboy Wo. And it all came about as a result of our snowstorm.

So on Sunday night we got a LOT of snow. Way more snow than I’ve seen in my entire life. OK. So I’m not even a year old. But still – it was the most I’ve ever seen!

The snow was way up over my belly. So I kinda needed to hop everywhere. I sorta had to hop and push like a snowplow. Here’s an example:

It was actually pretty tiring – for other dogs. But not me. I hopped around everywhere. And the Coyote did too. The Boss, on the other hand, promptly peed on the deck and went back in.

But I was only outside for a little while when the snow began to attack me. Really. It started forming little balls all over my legs and my belly. AND also in my private areas. It was at that point that I sat down and wouldn’t…make that couldn’t move.

My Enforcer immediately knew what was happening, so she instructed me to go inside. So I headed up the deck stairs.

And that’s when I got my nickname. Those snowballs had attached themselves everywhere and onto private areas I never knew I had. I was walking like a cowboy who just got off his horse after a full day of moving cattle. I had a very unique gait. My expression was kinda dazed. I just wanted the extra 20lbs I was carrying to be gone.

Now My Enforcer wanted photos of the problem, but this was no time for recording my dilemma. The pictures all came out blurry.

This snowball dilemma is a problem for lots of dogs. And it just so happens that there is this video circulating about removing snowballs on your dog with a whisk:

Thank goodness My Enforcer didn’t see this when I had my dilemma. The thought of whisking my privates is pretty scary!

Nope. She did her old fashioned method. Plop me in the dog bathtub and spray warm water over the balls to melt them. Works every time. Sure, I ended up pretty wet. But at least we didn’t do an “at home neuter.”

Guess I’ll be wearing a gortex suit the next little while. Yeah- she should get a video of trying to get THAT on me. I may be called Cowboy Wo, but I’m still Squirmy too.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.