Hey hey hey. It’s me – Squirmy Wormy, Crash Test Smarty who has another new name!! Chipper. Or Chip for short. And I got it for two reasons…..1. That little chip in My Enforcer’s hand and 2. That little chip in the corner of her iPhone! Yup!! I’m back at it. Destroying everything in my path like a tornado. It’s quite a skill!
So we know about the hand debacle but you haven’t heard about the phone fiasco. It happened yesterday morning….
For SOME reason, My Enforcer got it in her head that she wanted to listen to music while taking us on our morning constitutionals. I don’t think I’ve EVER seen her do that – but The Boss said she went through a phase like that some years ago. Something about making her walk faster. If she wanted to walk with more spring in her step she should have just told me – I can pull faster!! But no. She wanted MUSIC to make her move. So after I did my 23 laps around the dining room table and sat waiting semi-patiently at the front door, I saw her fiddling around with some ear phones and her phone. Cool. As long as she doesn’t forget my treats, I don’t care if she carries a donkey – I just wanted to get moving!
Her pockets were full of treats and poop bags and she shoved her phone in a pocket too. She put my leash on, struggled to stretch a mitten over her hand splint, and put her other mitten on. And we were FINALLY ready to roll.
It was a cold but dry and sunny day. All the trees and bushes were covered in tiny sparkly diamonds. It was sooo pretty. So as we went out the door, into the magical world of glitter and peppy tunes, My Enforcer smiled and thought how PERFECT her morning was going….
And I trotted along in front of her in my ever-lasting state of happiness and wild abandon. And all was right with the world for about 50 feet. We weren’t even 1/3 of the way up the driveway, when for no explainable reason (other than my inner devil) I suddenly turned back toward My Enforcer and did a joyful ricochet off her stomach. Which caused me to tangle my front legs in those ear phone cords. I not only yanked them out of her ears, I pulled the phone out of her pocket and spun around tangling myself further in my own leash! Yup. I was like a calf at a rodeo tangled in ear phone cords and leash, and dragging her phone in the process. Which I guess caused the chip. My Enforcer shouted “Stop. Sit.” Which was awkward to do given how tangled I was. She mumbled something like “2 minutes. We weren’t even 2 minutes out the door!!!” I just looked at her wanting her to untangle me. Of course it required that she remove both mittens, one of which I then attempted to eat.
I think it was at that point that she screamed. OK. It wasn’t a super loud banshee scream – it was more like a mini scream-groan. Probably only 3 or 4 neighbors heard it.
After I was released from my bondage, and she retrieved her (thankfully) still-working phone with a new chipped corner, and she plugged herself back in, and she put on her mittens, we were ready to rock and roll. I didn’t do any more ricochets for the rest of the walk. And I came every time when called when I was let loose on the trail. Thankfully she never lost any treats out of her pocket during the tornado. A few times I even came to her when I wasn’t called. Because I had this weird feeling she was trying to lose me. But I’m sure it was my imagination…
So THAT is how our morning began and how I got the name Chip. Go ahead – complete the following sentence: Good thing I’m ____!
Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.