So I THINK my human may be starting to figure out the FG – and she is BEGINNING to outsmart him.  It’s the battle of the smarts…

Yesterday morning she took him for his morning walk – and on the way home, he started getting Picrazy.  That’s my new word for Picard crazy.  It’s those moments when he completely loses his mind and there is no controlling him.  Like when he starts to pull and chew on the leash in an attempt to pull it away from my human.  He KNOWS that IF she lets go – he is F-R-E-E.  And he wants to be FREE.  So she stops.  Waits for him to stop puling.  She moves forward.  He does it again.  She stops. And the pattern repeats, making a 10 minute walk take 20 minutes.  But he eventually gives up and walks along.  Yesterday as they were finally approaching home, my human didn’t pay attention and didn’t notice the big ball in the driveway.  I don’t know HOW she missed it on the way out – it’s big and orange.  Anyway, the FG spotted it as they were coming down the driveway and he suddenly BOLTED forward.  My human knew if she held on, she was going to do a faceplant on the asphalt, so she did they only safe thing to do.  She LET go.  And of course, as SOON as he was let go, he grabbed the end of the leash so he could run faster and he bolted around to the back of the house. 

Now keep in mind that we must adhere to a strict schedule on work mornings, and there is not a lot of time built in for escapees. So my human began to panic.  She raced around to the back – and he raced on – watching her over his shoulder.  So instead of chasing him, she ran away.  He didn’t care.  He figured it was a trick.  So she went out of view around the house.  And she ran to grab a fetch toy sitting by the front door.  All the time Einstein and I are barking madly in the house.  Oh – and did I mention it’s only 5:30 AM?  So my human then went back, peaked around the house and saw that the FG was standing in the back.  Waiting.  She moved back out of sight and tossed the fetch toy – which to the FG, basically appeared out of thin air.  So he ran to get it.  While my human was waiting right around the corner.  And of course he had dropped the leash so he could grab the fetch toy.  Allowing my human .04 seconds to grab the leash as he was just within reach.  BINGO.  She got him.  So that ended the morning excitement.

I don’t think that trick will work in the future.  The FG is pretty smart – and he doesn’t FORGET.  Next time I think my human will have to flail herself on the ground.  After that, I’m out of ideas.  Perhaps he needs a 100 foot leash……and obviously MORE work on that recall…

Have a good one!

Today is May 30 and according to the crazy calendar, it’s Water a Flower Day.  My human has pretty much given up planting annual flowers.  Let’s face it – we just CANNOT resist the urge to pee on anything new in the garden.  It’s simply our way of watering.  So our house is surrounded by perennials – which even with our abundant watering, are usually hard to kill.  Especially hostas.  She has something like over 25 varieties and so far, we haven’t killed any.  So far being the operative words.  The other thing we pee on is the barbecue cover – out on the deck.  Every time we go out.  So the other day, before we were let out on the deck, my human took us out for a pee first.  Then she turned around the cover on the BBQ- thinking we wouldn’t pee on a spot that had not been peed on before.  Wrongo.  She watched us when we first went out and when I wandered by the BBQ, with an almost three legged stance – she shouted at me to “Stop.”  So I did.  She turned her back for an instant, and the FG peed instead.  She shouted at the heavens – at some saints of dog pee and went in the house.  When she came back out 30 seconds later, there were now three streams of pee on the cover.

My human had gone out on the deck in the first place to see how her paint job turned out.  Every year she has to paint at least part of the deck – and she did it two weeks ago.  She was admiring her work.  She had patched a spot where the FG had dug an indentation in the wood and had painted over it – and it looked excellent.  She left us out on the deck with the door open while she went back in the house.   She still had some work to do for work (when DOES this busy time end?) and she sat down to do something at the computer.  Einstein and I were lying near the door – on the deck.  The FG could not be seen.  But suddenly my human HEARD him.  Making weird scratching sound.  BINGO – you’ve got it – he found the newly painted patched area that he had previously destroyed.  And he was returning the wood to its previous rugged look.  “NO!!!!!!!” she shouted.  She now had to move a cement starfish over the spot.  The starfish is not usually on the deck, but it had been placed over the spot before it was painted to prevent further damage.  Back to square one.

Sometimes my human thinks she should take a wrecking ball to the house, and start all over.  She threatens that we would have to live in a tent.  Now could you picture THAT?  The three of us and her in a tent?  Wonder who would be the first one to water it?

Have a good one!

Well we tried.  And failed.  On Friday night, at the urging of several blog readers, my human decided to try and let the FG sleep out of his crate for the night…

She opened the bedroom door, and then went to turn off the lights in the house.  Ordinarily, the FG waits by his crate – where he gets a before bed treat.  He took one look at the open bedroom door and was GONE in a shot.  When my human walked in, he and Einstein were already resting on the bed.  I was following her – because I usually get a before bed treat too – and that’s all I cared about.  When I saw the FG on the bed, I didn’t know what to do.  Seriously – he takes up a LOT of space.  So I walked to the other side of the bed and found a place on the floor.  When my human got into bed, the FG, who was already SO excited at the prospect of being free, just stared at her.  When she turned out the light, she actually THOUGHT this might work.  It was early – around 10:30PM.

As soon as the lights went out, the FG realized this was FOR real and he couldn’t contain himself.  First he began by styling Einstein’s hair.  My human sat up and told him to stop.  As soon as she was comfortable, he started again.   She turned on the light, looked at him, said to stop and he did, and repositioned himself so he wasn’t facing Einstein.  She turned out the light and got comfortable again.    At which point, the FG began to lick and nibble on the comforter.  She told him to stop.  At this point, I decided to get on the bed too.  He looked at me and I basically grumbled at him that he better not even THINK about styling my hair – or try to get near MY space by the pillows.  The FG got off the bed.  And Einstein did too.  Within seconds, the FG was lying on an area rug.  And my human could hear “rip-rip.”  He was trying to make the carpet in the bedroom match the one in the dining room.  She turned on the light and told him to stop.  He then got up and started to explore the room.  My human lay down, thinking he WOULD find a good spot.  He was walking around, checking out stuff on the dresser. And of course, checking out Einstein.

Long story short, by midnight, he had not settled down.  He wandered, styled the FG’s hair, licked the carpet….and my human couldn’t take it any more.  She took him by the collar and led him toward his crate.  He didn’t resist – because he doesn’t mind his crate.  In he went and was comfy within two seconds .  His brain needed a rest.  And so did all of us.

So we’ll see when we try again… Maybe on his 5th birthday.  Four more years to go…

Have a good one.

It’s Saturday.  And my human has been very busy lately with work.  So today we let her sleep in until 5:00.   That was unlike yesterday morning – when I had her up at 4AM.  I simply wanted to poop – but instead of squeaking to be let out, I just stared at her.  And although she was sound asleep, it’s kind of uncanny how humans can wake up when one of us canines is staring at them.  At first she woke up around 3:30 and found me sitting on the floor, staring right at her next to the bed.  She told me to go to sleep.  About 30 minutes later, she woke up and I was ON the bed – sitting and staring at her.  So she got out of bed, got dressed – ready for the POURING rain, and took me out.  Once I did my thing, she figured she might as well take ALL of us out.  So by 4:30AM, all of us had been out – and had PPP.  Picture perfect poop.  By then she was so side awake, she figured she might as well stay up.  So that’s why we let her sleep in today.

So I have a short blog today – just a few of my Viktionary terms.  Because I THINK after my human finishes taking us out – she MAY be taking a nap.  But we’ll see….

Have a good one!

So my human was looking at this ad by some mattress company,  talking about the fact that they had done research and designed the perfect pet bed.  They studied us dogs and our sleeping habits and supposedly came up with the ultimate solution for slumber for us canines.

In their research, they learned that we dogs often like to dig at a surface before we lie down.  This is typical of Einstein.  He will scratch and dig with all his might – on the ceramic tile.  During those times, the name Einstein does not appear to fit.  I mean I understand that we dogs do this based on centuries old behaviors – where we would scratch earth to get to cooler soil.  But seriously, scratching the tile?  It appears to be a fairly unproductive behavior.  We also DO scratch at our bed – or our human’s bed – as we can adjust the surface.   The company with the perfect dog bed supposedly designed it of a tough fabric, resistant and durable enough to withstand all of our digging.  Unfortunately, we will also CHEW soft bedding if allowed to do so.

We dogs also often like to find resting spots that are in awkward places.  It is is believed we do so because we are trying to find a spot that is like a protective den.  Einstein is able to contort himself into all kinds of spots-under chairs, small tables – halfway under the bed…. The perfect bed is designed with sides  to be like a protective den.  But keep in mind that protective sides have corners too.  For chewing.  

The more my human read about the perfect bed, the more she thought it wouldn’t be so perfect in our house.  Remember the ultimate bed made of a rubber-like material that we started to destroy about 10 minutes after it came in the house?  So far – the ONLY bed that has withstood the test of us three musketeers is the Kuranda bed.  The one made of steel legs.  Well maybe it’s not steel – but it’s tough.  We DID chew the pillow that rested on the bed – my human still thinks she can “fix” it.  It’s been in the garage for like 18 months so I’m not thinking it will be happening any time soon.  But we still use the bed without the pillow.  

And all of this bed talk got my human thinking – when will the FG be allowed out of his crate at night?  I mean I was about a year old when I was allowed night time freedom.  However – I’m not so sure there will be room for all of us on my human’s bed – and let’s face it – that’s where Einstein and I sleep.  So I’m voting that he stays in his crate.  It can house a small pony, and he doesn’t mind it – so why rock the boat? Or should I say, why rock the bed?  If my human DOES try to let him loose, I suggest she tries it on a night when she doesn’t have to go to work the next day.  Because it could be a LONG night…

Anyway – sweet dreams and get ready – it’s FRIDAY – so let the weekend begin!!!!

Today is May 25th and is also the birthday of Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Mr. Emerson was an American writer, lecturer and poet who lived from 1803-1882.  He was a philosophical guy and although I can’t really go into details about his beliefs and preachings, I CAN share a few of his quotes.  About dogs.  Now some I like and some….well…check them out!

“There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.”   OK – this one is a bit crazy.  Clearly he doesn’t live with the FG. While the FG doesn’t ATTACK my human when she gets dressed for work, he sure tries his very best to slobber her.  So he’s not exactly respectful of attire….

“Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.”    OK – this analogy is kind of cute.  HOWEVER – we all know that while it might be fun to feel the wind in our faces, it’s not really the BEST idea.  We could get something in our eyes – so one has to be careful.

“When a dog is chasing after you, whistle for him.”    This one is a bit unusual.  If we are already coming, why bother calling?  Seems a bit redundant if you ask me.  Mind you, if a MEAN dog is chasing you, maybe you do it to confuse him?  Beats me.

But THIS is one I like – and I think you will too…
“Sitting back in the evening, stargazing and stroking your dog, is an infallible remedy.”   

Now THAT is perfect.

Happy birthday Ralph.  Clearly, you liked dogs…

Have a good one.

Ewwwwwwwwwww.   They are back.  And yours truly was the first to meet them.  The TICKS. 

The other morning, my human was petting my head and massaging right between my eyes.  And she THOUGHT I had some mud or bit of goober stuck near my eye.  She didn’t look at it but felt it and went to pull it off and heard a “thwack” sound as she pulled off the object.  At which point she REALIZED what she had pulled off with her bare fingers – a TICK.  And she had dropped the half-pea sized thing.  She immediately spotted it on my back and grabbed a tissue to pick it up. Ewwwwwwwwww.   She panicked and took the thing outside to the green bin. She came back in and thoroughly examined me from head to tail for any other critters.  She did the same with Einstein and the FG.  No signs of any other vagabonds.

It didn’t REALLY surprise my human that I got a tick – as I am the one who loves to nose around in tall grass.  And it actually had crossed her mind the other night while we we walking, and she pulled me out from the tall grass on the side of the road.

About two hours AFTER she disposed of the creature, she started thinking about it in the green bin.  And she started thinking that it would simply escape – and be free to attack again.  So she went out, dug through the bin, found the paper towel it was in and low and behold, the bugger was still there.  So she proceeded to PERMANENTLY rid us of the problem.  It involved a rock and a great deal of obsessive smashing.  That tick is with us no more….

So now the dilemma.  What to do?  Last year, we tried garlic tablets – and all summer, I was the ONLY one who had two ticks.  Wait – Einstein MIGHT have had one.  But that was it.  So I guess we’ll try that  again.  That and Diatomaceous Earth.  My human KNOWS that lots of people use chemical warfare against the Lyme bearing critters – and she MAY resort to that.  But we’ll TRY the natural route for NOW and keep our paws crossed that it works.  Ticks.  The main reason to love sub-freezing temperatures, ice and snow!  Ugh.

Have a bug free day….

It’s May 23.  And according to the crazy calendar, it’s Lucky Penny Day.  I guess it comes from that old rhyme – Find a penny, pick it up; And all day you’ll have good luck.  UNLESS you are a dog and you happen to swallow a coin minted in the US after 1982.  Because after that date, pennies were no longer made mostly of copper – they were made of zinc.  And if my resources are correct, it looks like pennies minted in Canada from 1997-1999 were also made mostly of zinc.  And if a dog swallows a zinc penny, it can result in BIG problems because zinc can cause kidney failure, anemia and in some cases even death!  Signs of zinc poisoning include weakness, pale or jaundiced gums, lack of appetite, vomiting and increased heart rate.  In small dogs, a single penny could cause death.  If an x-ray revels a penny in a dog’s belly, surgery will most likely be the treatment.  So clearly, that is NO lucky penny.  Unless one happens to swallow one that is not zinc.  A copper penny is not as dangerous, but still not something to ingest.  In Canada, we stopped making pennies in 2012.  So when you purchase something at a store, and you are paying in cash, the vendor rounds your total to the nearest 5 cents. I need a calculator to figure it out.  Einstein can do it in his head.

So don’t eat any pennies today – but I do wish you a day full of GOOD luck!!!

I love Queen Victoria.  And not just because we share a similar name.  But because in Canada, we celebrate her birthday (on or about the actual day) AND so my human gets the day off today!  How great is THAT?!

Queen Victoria’s reign was from 1837 (when she was 18) until her death in 1901.  And in case you didn’t know, she was a big animal lover.  She owned a number of different breeds of dogs – including collies, a deerhound,  greyhounds,  Pomeranians,   Skye terriers,  and a King Charles Spaniel.  She owned an assortment of other pets as well, including Shetland ponies, goats, a donkey and a parrot.  But she had a special love for her dogs, and when on her deathbed, she requested that her Pomeranian, Turi be brought to bed with her.  Yup – she loved her dogs.

Well, we have another sunny day in the forecast – which means EXTRA long walks again!   A sunny day.  A good walk.   Seriously, can life get any better?  It’s the little things in life…

Happy birthday Queen V – and thanks for the day off!