No ribbons

Well all the brushing and fluffing was for a specific reason. The FG was in a dog show. The beauty pageant type show. He hasn’t been in one in a LONG time. Her highness decided to wait until he “matured.” And that designation is open to interpretation. I mean, can a guy be considered to be mature if he still tosses blueberries? I think not.

It was recommended by several people that her highness NOT show the FG herself. She gets kind of nervous. Which is crazy because she could speak on live radio or TV or could do a talk for hundreds of people and not get nervous. But make her run around a ring for 30 seconds with a dog, and she’s a nervous wreck.

So her highness’ friend Glenda offered to show the FG. Kind of like kids who behave better for the babysitter. Her highness thought Glenda could work her dog whisperer magic and get some big ribbons with the boy.

The first sign of trouble was when Glenda took the FG to practice a bit. He would do NOTHING for her – he was too busy looking for her highness – who was hiding down behind a dog crate. The things humans do. At first it looked like Glenda wouldn’t be able to even take him in the ring. But THEN, they discovered Heather’s doggie crack. Heather shows her Boston Terriers and her husband.”, Allan shows their Old English Sheepdog, Connor.

Heather had baked some kind of liver cake. Also known as doggie crack. Now we know the FG is better known as the Picky Picard. But not when it came to Heather’s famous liver cake. The FG has always liked Glenda. But Glenda plus liver cake was a whole new entity. He didn’t care the least bit where her highness was. He would go anywhere following that liver cake.

Unfortunately, despite Glenda’s excellent handling AND the liver cake, they got no big ribbons. Reportedly, though, if they gave out congeniality prizes, he would have a great shot at winning. The Boy Scouts who help out at the shows STILL remember him. And he’s quite happy to greet humans and canines alike. Pity there is no prize for that.

Meanwhile, Einstein and I guarded the homestead. And one of our kind neighbors, Pam, came over to give me my pills mid-afternoon. Since I am on my new medication schedule, I need my meds at 7AM, 3PM, 7PM and 11PM. Epilepsy is not an easy condition to control… But we seem to be back on track again.

The FG has another show this morning and then they’ll be home this afternoon. Who knows what Sunday will hold. Better him than me – I’ll pass on all the brushing.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Nothing to Report

Can you feel it? We did. Yesterday morning on our constitutional- we felt a tiny taste of Fall. It was noticeably cooler and rather refreshing. The crispness provided extra energy for attempts at peeing on every green recycling bin we passed as we walked down the road. Her highness caught every attempt, but she missed the mark (pun intended) when we passed one of those traffic construction signs that are still on our road. I hit it and so did Einstein. Score!!! Her highness must have been busy with her eyes to the sky – as I said it was a perfect morn.

The other day, her highness did a drug run. Not to worry- it was perfectly legal. First stop – the human pharmacy. Where she walks in and the pharmacy assistant says “You must be here for Viktor.” I’ve never met them- but for some reason they know all about me. Seems they should have my portrait hanging behind the counter. Her highness got one of my drugs there. Good thing the store gives “points” for money spent…

Next stop. The vet. To pick up one of Einstein’s medications. The place was PACKED with zombies. Her highness was glad none of us was with her. She witnessed a woman with two small dogs on flexi leashes. They were roaming all around the room while the woman/ zombie inattentively chatted with the girls at the desk. One Of her dogs put his face right up to the crate of a cat. The zombie said “It’s OK – he’s used to cats.” Ummmm hello – maybe the cat in the crate ISN’T used to dogs. Like I said – zombies. Of course one of her two dogs had a giant poop right in the middle of the floor in front of the reception desk. I kid you not. It’s the place to poop. Then the zombie had no bag. Someone handed her one, she scooped and then asked one of the girls at the desk where to put it. Her highness needed to button her lips. The girl pointed to the trash can outside. The zombie put it on the floor and said she would just leave it there until she got her bill. Luckily they calculated it quickly.

Besides the zombies, her highness saw three friends there as well. They are from her “dog community”. And you can be sure they didn’t act like zombies. They know better.

Yesterday her highness came home sporting new attire. Well not really attire – more like an “accessory”. She had to wear a 24 hour blood pressure monitor. Seems when she goes to her doctor, her blood pressure is high. Some call it White Coat Syndrome. Anyway, to check it, she had to wear this thing that inflates like every 30 minutes.

At first she thought she should go to the beach. That’s relaxing and probably lowers her pressure. But they are still doing that construction on the road – and after sitting In traffic and waiting to get through it, she figured her pressure was now high – so she might as well go home rather than get caught it in twice. Einstein warned us that we needed to behave. To keep her pressure low. Like THAT ever happens.

She had planned to mow the lawn. BUT -since she couldn’t take the thing off to shower, she instead decided to just READ on the deck. At first she had over 150 lbs of dog in her lap – on a lawn chair – but we finally settled down. And hopefully, so did her pressure.

Something is going on this weekend. I’m not sure what – but she certainly has been trying an assortment of brushes on the FG. Which is pointless because no matter WHAT grooming tool you use on him, he ALWAYS looks the same. I’m not sure what it’s all about – but I’ll keep you posted.

So that’s our story of nothing. I hope your day is crisp and clear, and your pressure stays low!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Testing. Testing.

Well her highness is chuckling. We said we wouldn’t write every day. And we are not. But when something dog-astrophic happens – we have to share. BTW – why do cats get the credit for earth shattering events? Mind you, the term catastrophe is not really all that positive. The cats can keep the term . And really, this story isn’t ALL bad…

But before our story – a HUGE sloppy lick and thank you for all your wonderful comments about my blog. We are humbled and grateful for your feedback. As her highness said- this started as a chihuahua and somehow morphed into a Saint Bernard. And the feeding requirements were very different. And now that her highness is “retired” – she is in a “no commitment” mode. For the next little while anyway. WE are her commitment. As it should be! But we WILL share – if the story arises. And you know us.

First- the bad news. I had a you-know-what. Her highness thinks she causes them. HOWEVER – it is more likely due to the fact that she “adjusted” one of my meds when she returned from her trip – because she was seeing more medication side effects. Like rear end weakness. I’m far from coordinated – although it didn’t interfere with a long-awaited game of fetch the other night (because the temperature had cooled off). Nor did my rear ended weakness prevent me from balancing on my back legs to counter surf- and get a mouthful from her highness’ bowl of cereal….

Anyway. I had a seizure at 2:30 AM. And unfortunately, peed during it. So, I was pretty rank the next morning. Rank by human standards anyway.

So her highness decided I need a bath. But first – a good brushing.

During the groom-a-thon, I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t make the already difficult task any easier. I had a TINY problem. I kept passing gas. I think it was too many blueberries the day before. Her highness mumbled that she should be wearing a gas mask. She’s so funny. Not.

Anyway, after the brushing it was time for the bath. She got me all lathered up. ALL lathered up. She’s about to start rinsing me off – and there’s a knock at the front door. The doorbell has been broken since I was a pup. Her highness freezes. She looks like she just got up – because she hasn’t even showered yet. A picture of raw beauty. Not to mention the fact that she is wet. And I look like an ad for bubble bath soap. She groans. Another knock.

By this time, Einstein is throwing himself at the door doing his best Cujo routine. Her highness scoops me in my soapy attire and puts me on the floor. I immediately roll in the dusty garage floor. She goes to the door to find the Power Company meter reader guy. Our meter is outside- in the dog yard – and the gate is locked. She opens the door a crack like some scary hermit and tells him she’ll open the gate. She runs Through the garage and outside to the dog yard and tugs at the horizontal wooden board that keeps the gate secure. As she goes to push open the gate, with the guy standing on the other side, out of nowhere comes a sopping wet, bubble soapy creature – who immediately tries to escape. The Power Company guy leaps backward – while her highness grabs me from behind.

She grabs me and as he goes the enter the fenced area, the board which her highness had propped up, falls, and narrowly missed hitting the guy on the head. I’ve never seen a meter reader guy move so quickly. Between strange looking soapy creatures, a scary, wet woman, the sounds of Cujo and boards falling on him, it is no wonder he wanted to leave. Quickly.

Just a normal day in our house….

As you can see, our blog has a new home. Hopefully this will be a more user friendly site. For us and for you. We still plan other changes….

Thank you again for your support. We will share our intermittent posts in Facebook- which will link to this site. You can subscribe and follow here – there is no fee – and you’ll get an email whenever we post. We have our very own URL: Whatever that means. As I said, we will post intermittently. You never know when there will be a post. We could go for two weeks without posting – and then we may post for three days in a row. It all depends on our behavior…..

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Time for change…

The following message is from my human.  She never writes – she’s just the typist, so this must be serious.

Well folks.  As you may have noticed, our ads are again gone.  When we were approached to put ads on our site, we were reluctant to do so.  We felt that they clutter up the site – but we felt if there was a chance to actually earn some biscuit money, we should give it a shot. We spent loads of time setting it up.  And we mentioned it to you – our readers.  Turns out you cannot encourage readers in any way to click ads.  That was never stated up front – we would never have done so if we knew that was breaking some rule.  I’m not sure it WAS a rule back then – but it is now.

Anyway, in July we were “suspended” for clicking our own ads – which is another rule and is something we have never, ever done.   During that suspension, we looked at all the new rules for blog traffic, and removed any content in all previous blog postings which mentioned ads and biscuit money.  We didn’t even want to MENTION the word “ad” for fear the internet search police would see the reference and we would again be suspended.  It didn’t matter.  We were reinstated for a few days – and then again suspended.  We appealed and lost our case within hours. It seems strange that the poster is resonsible for making sure no one “over clicks” – but that’s the rule.  We asked the powers that be – who have no name – how to control for that – but the question wasn’t answered.

So this brings us to a crossroads.  We have posted over 1750 blogs.  We have shared our stories about our lives and in the odd time when things were quiet on the home front, we spent countless hours researching doggie history, facts and trivia.  There were MANY times we nearly hung up the iPawd, but because we know we have a small but loyal following, we continued on.  And honestly, that loyalty plus the pennies a day, kept us going. 
Last fall, our stats went wonky.  It happened to everyone on the Blogger platform.  After numerous emails ,  no resolution was found.  We just figured we would start again.
Unfortunately, we took a look at our stats this week and the photo is what we saw.  Those numbers represent the page views or visits for each month.
It’s pretty dismal.  We are not sure if we can totally trust the stats – but we can’t help but wonder if that is why our ads were pulled…
We know that there are you loyal readers who read every day.  You comment, and you “like” our posts on Facebook.  We LOVE to read that we made you laugh – and while we don’t really like to make you cry, we appreciate that you have been moved by something we have posted.
We also know that there are people who read, but never comment or like the posts.  They also have not listed themselves as Followers on the blog or on Viktor’s Facebook page.   When people ask how many Followers we have – after almost  5 years, we are kind of embarrassed to say less than 250. Many blogs have followers in the thousands.  We have not gone viral.  We have not even had a low grade fever.  
We are at the point where we realize, not every blog is a hit.  Not every dog can win a High in Trial or a Best in Show.  It doesn’t mean you  love your dog ANY less.  You have to find other things to do with your dog – and love the TIME you spend together.  
This makes us so very sad – we don’t quite know what to do. We know there are “people” who can help with all of this media stuff – but it’s not really in our budget right now.  The irony is that we never set out to become a BIG thing – and we still don’t have to be.  But given the time it takes, we need to re-evaluate – especially since we are not earning any biscuit money.  
I hope you loyal readers  understand that we DO care about you.  We have not taken any substantial breaks from writing – except for a day or two when my family was in a crisis period.  Even going on my recent holiday – I knew I wouldn’t have time to write – so I spent hours reviewing old blogs – and then taking those Notes from the Dog photos to provide you with something fresh.  And we continued writing for the 30 days during our “suspension.”  I don’t want you to think that this is all about the money – we did this for years before adding the ads.
We know that we can’t just STOP this blog.  It’s become a part of our lives – and it really IS fun to share our adventures.  But we think we need to dial it back.  We won’t be posting every day.  We’re thinking we should follow an intermittent reinforcement schedule – let’s face it –  consistent treats can become rather boring.  Unless you are a PON.
When we started out, we said it would be a posting every now and again.  Somehow it quickly morphed into a daily routine.  I guess “bad” dogs provide lots of great material!   How many times have you thought “better her than me!”  Or how many times have you thought “been there!” Misery loves company!!! 
Thank you for reading and for those of you who continually share our blog – a double thank you!   Our goal has been to promote PONs, and Bernese and Picards – and really – responsible pet ownership no matter what breed or multi-breed.   
We welcome your feedback about this.  Will you stick with us if we dial back?  If we posted a few times a week, when would you read it?  If we posted weekly, what day would be best? 

Sometimes when we are training dogs (or I should say, dogs are training us), we need to mix things up to keep things interesting.  It’s time to change our routine – we’re just not sure what it will look like.  But one thing for sure – it will be from the dog’s perspective.  Because dogs really DO rule our homes.  And our hearts.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up. 
Seizure free days: 19


One more week.  And they disappear into that mysterious place her highness calls “the closet.”  What is disappearing? The white pants.

Humans have some kind of weird rule about white pants – and the fact that they shouldn’t be worn after Labor Day. Like some “fashion police” will arrest and fine you.  There is this window of wearing time that reportedly stretches from May to September. But the reality is that if you are owned by dogs, no time is the right time to wear white pants.  If you see someone walking down the street with perfectly white pants – containing no spots or goobers – or obvious dog hair, that person either does not own a dog- or they got dressed in their car after they left their house.
Her highness actually owns white pants.  Which is really silly.  She no sooner puts them on, then one of us rubs right up to her.  Usually after we have been drinking water.  Or eating something.
Now black pants are also magnets for dog hair.  But a quick roll with one of the many lint rollers spread throughout the house, and black pants CAN look OK.  But white pants – like I said they are a silly addition to a wardrobe .
I wonder if you could use that Scotch Guard stuff that is used to protect furniture- and put it on white pants.  There’s no doubt a market for non-stainable white pants for dog owners.  Maybe they could be made of Teflon.  But they would be kind of stiff.
And speaking of attire- I was sporting an interesting outfit of leaves, sticks, pine needles and mud yesterday morning.  Her highness made the mistake of letting me and Einstein off our leashes as we came down the driveway from our morning constitutional.  And what was sitting on the front lawn? Why a bunny.  Einstein’s chase ended where the lawn meets the woods.   Not mine.  BUT, because we were on our way home for breakfast, I wasn’t gone long.  Mind you, I still needed a “nature removal” before I could come in the house.  Great fun.  
But then, most things we dogs do is fun…OK- except grooming…
Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 18

Don’t waffle about reading this!

August 24. And it’s National Waffle Day. Of course it is.  When I looked up dogs and waffles, I found out several things:

1.  The term “dogwaffle” is actually used by some to describe the first waffle out of the waffle iron.  Apparently it’s called that because the first waffle is often not looking very appealing- so it goes to the dog.  Now.  I could be insulted that we are talking about the fact that we dogs are the recipients of “imperfect” items.  Like second class citizens.  BUT  we  talking about food – so that’s ok with me if we are fed first.  We don’t care the way our food looks.
2.  We dogs CAN eat waffles – but only in moderation because they are sweet and COULD play havoc with our digestion.
3.  There ARE waffle recipes for dogs.  And here is one:

So there you have your dog waffle trivia.  Oh wait – what did the angry waffle iron do?  He flipped.
 Don’t groan – remember- you heard it from a dog!
Have a good one.  Peace and paws up-.  
Seizure free days: 17

Tests and tomatoes

So the FG is normal.  Well at least his elbows and his hips are normal.  He passed his “tests” – clearly it was something he didn’t need to study for.  He got his X-ray results while her highness was away and his hips are “good” and his elbows are “normal”.  I’m waiting for the psychological tests to come back.  He’s back to tossing around blueberries again.  OK – there  really AREN’T any psychological tests. But it’s a good thing based on the blueberry behavior.  I mean what dog in his right mind tosses around edibles?!  Mind you, I am hearing that it is “normal” PICARD behavior.  He’s a new story every day.

The night before last, her highness decided after watering the plantation in the dark that she just wanted to sit and relax on the deck.  She was tired.  They call it jet lag. Did you know we dogs can get jet lag too?  And we reportedly have an easier time when we head west – because it’s somehow easier to get used to a longer day. I think it’s because there are more hours to get food.  
If we are flying to a new time zone, resources say that you should slowly begin adjusting our feeding and sleeping times to match that of our  new time zone, before we go.  When her highness read that, all she could think of was adjusting my medication schedule.  As a result, I won’t be flying to Hawaii any time soon. 
Oh but back to the plantation.  We are going to be opening a tomato juice stand any time now.  They are JUST beginning to ripen and if they all do, we’ll be selling juice, sauce, ketchup, salsa, and tomato dog biscuits.  Yes.  You can find a recipe for dog treats with tomatoes.   Here is one.  It uses tomato paste.  
We just need to figure out how to make the paste.  Who am I kidding with “we.”  Her highness would have to do it and given that she hasn’t even been making my pill pockets, I’m thinking it’s not likely we’ll be seeing these biscuits.  I hope our neighbors – ALL of our neighbors like tomatoes.
Besides the 400 lbs of tomatoes- we also have peppers growing.  Her highness kind of freaked out when she looked at a pepper and thought it was rotting because it was a strange color.  Then she remembered she planted a purple variety.  She’s quite the farmer.
We also have at LEAST five pumpkins growing as well. I don’t think they’ll be entered in any giant pumpkin growing competition.  She can set her sights for next year.  If these five actually survive.  Good thing we like pumpkin purée.  Well- at least two of us do.
Well time to begin huffing and puffing.  It’s been hot and muggy the past few days – so we’re ALL feeling the effects of jet lag.  It’s so hot, I could almost go for a swim.  Almost.
Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 16

She’s back.

Well, she’s back.  She arrived home looking haggard but happy.  She reportedly spent the WHOLE day waiting to fly home to us.  She rushed through airports and probably lost 5lbs sweating as she hurried to make her connecting flight.  She finally rolled in at around 2AM.  The sitter had left us at around 11 PM – when she knew her highness was on the last leg of her journey.  We had basically settled down for the night. Imagine our surprise when she came in!

Einstein and the FG went WILD.  Absolutely WILD.  I’m sure any neighbor in a 5 km radius could hear the commotion coming from our house. 
While my siblings in crime were doing the Tasmanian Welcome Dance, yours truly kind of ignored her.  I just wanted to get in the garage.  I was, as usual, starving.  Truth be told, it’s called intermittent reinforcement.  Make her think you are annoyed – so she shares even MORE treats.  It always works.  Mind you – yesterday I was like GLUE with her.
We watched her unpack an assortment of Polish goodies.  Cookies.  Gingerbread.  Pottery.   Amber.   Candies.  Frankly, we only cared about the edible stuff.  Finally, she sat us down and said she had a confession to make.  She had spent an afternoon with – are you ready for this – TWO PONs.  Watson and Sherlock own a friend of my human – her name is Iza.  Iza and my human have been friends on Facebook for many years – and they FINALLY got to meet because Iza lives in Poland!  And guess what?  Sherlock and Watson came along and gave us gifts – some toys AND some treats!   Good thing – because her highness claims she didn’t “see” many dog shops in her travels – and she didn’t buy us anything.  Takes a PON to save the guilt gifts day.
I’ve said before that the internet CAN bring people together. Her highness met another PON friend – Joanna, who gave her a cool mug with a PON on it!!!  The PONs ruled on this trip – now she needs to go to France to meet Picard friends.   If we ever let her go.
As for us, while her highness was globe trotting – we had a good time with Char.  We behaved- and in Char’s words – we were a “dream.”  Let’s face it – that’s not a word usually used to describe us.  We had to pay her A LOT to say that. 
But the best news?  No seizures!  Ta da!!! My human said she must cause them – so she should go away more often.  Nice try.  I don’t think so.  
While she was away, she had a call about a chair that she had taken in back in June to have it reupholstered.  The chair had belonged to her mother – and I think her grandmother- but it was looking kind of tired.
She brought it home yesterday and while she was taking it out of the car, we were outside.  She had decided to put the chair in the dining room.  That was always the plan.  It’s a wooden arm chair, with wooden legs, but the back and seat are upholstered.  Before the re-do it was in the DFZ.
So she puts her “new chair” in the dining room.  It looked fabulous.  At least she thought so – we canines didn’t care.  Or at least two of us didn’t.  Einstein and I didn’t even give it a second glance.  But you know who IMMEDIATELY noticed it – and had to check it out- the FG.  He sniffed it all over and then laid his head on the seat.  My human noticed- and she  KNEW what was coming next.  The mandatory face rub.  “STOP” she shouted- “that’s all clean and new!”  As if he would care. The chair is now back in the DFZ.  
Although I’m lookimg rather pensive in the photo – trust me – I was VERY happy to have our “family” complete again!  Welcome home your highness!
Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 15