Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy here again!!!!! On a snowy March morning. Yup. Old Man Winter is still here. I’m not sure why humans say that. I didn’t see any old dude walking around our yard. And trust me, if I did see him, you would know about it! But he is apparently here- probably hiding in the woods.
The thing about snow at this time of the year is that it will be gone in days. At least that’s what they tell me. So it’s one of the few last days to hunker down with a good book by the fire. And totally relax. In some other house. Not in our house because I don’t believe in relaxation. So the image of My Enforcer with her feet up, lounging around for more than 10 minutes is a fairy tale. I keep her hopping. All the time. Even AFTER I’ve had my hour long walk. Which brings me to my lesson today, for other dogs about how to get attention during those rare times when humans try to watch TV, talk on the phone, read a book, do a puzzle, send an email …. you get it- all those stationary human activities. Allow me to inform you about how to keep your human moving. And really it’s for their health…
1. Pace. This is my all-time favorite- and a fairly new one for me. Just walk around. Aimlessly. Around the table. Into the kitchen. Down the hall. Around the table. To the door. Around the table…. Now most humans will watch this behavior and ASSUME that maybe you need to go out. So get all excited when they get up to let you out. And when they open the door, just stand there. Because the objective was not to go out- but to get them up. Mission accomplished.
2. Chew on something you are not supposed to chew on. Like a chair leg or a shoe or a carpet. Trust me – that gets them moving quickly. Mission accomplished.
3. Bark your fierce bark. The kind you use for delivery people, the oil guy or birds. Usually your human will think you are faking, but if you keep it up with great ferocity, it WILL get them up to check. Mission accomplished.
4. Harass a sibling. Start poking at another dog in the house. Or if you have a cat or gerbil, you can try it with them. Although I’m thinking that poking a cat could be dicey and you might squish a gerbil. Still – all of these actions are sure to get your human moving. Mission accomplished.
5. Obsessively lick or scratch a body part. That will get your human up to examine whether or not you have a problem- like a goopy ear. But do it even if your ear isn’t bothering you. Because they HAVE TO look. Mission accomplished.
6. Squeak. Like something is wrong with you. Again they may think you want to go out. So they get up to let you out… Mission accomplished.
7. Stare at them. Longingly. Like an abandoned stray sitting in a shelter waiting for adoption. This guilts them into either walking you, playing with you or giving you a treat just for being so adorable. They’re up. Mission accomplished.
8. Go into another room and be extremely quiet. This gets them up every single time. Because out of sight equals probable trouble. They come to find you. Mission accomplished.
9. Make noise. Throw around a metal food dish. Keep incessantly squeaking a toy. Bark at them. All of these actions will get a response. Trust me. Especially if they are on the phone or a Zoom call. That’s THE best time to play the noise card. Mission accomplished.
Now please keep in mind that you are doing these things not to be a pest but because you have your human’s best interests at heart. You’re concerned for their health. I mean if they sit too long they could get blood clots! Mind you, I’m thinking that’s not going to happen in 15 minutes. But better safe than sorry.
Tune in tomorrow for more helpful health tips!!! You’re welcome!
Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.