Guinness

August 27.  And on this day in 1955, the Guinness Book of World Records was published. And as you might imagine, there are many dog related records. You can have the typical tallest and smallest dog:

And you can have the dog with the longest tongue:
https://youtu.be/rDoi3XqG58o.  I bet he can clean out the inside of the yogurt container….
We have the dog with the longest tail:
https://youtu.be/iferRfmFRbI.  Watch out for stuff on the coffee table with that big boy…
We have the fastest dog who walks on two legs:
And then we have Golden retriever named Augie who holds the record for holding the most tennis balls in his mouth – 5 at once.  And the thought Einstein was mouthy.
We have a Jack Russell terrier who holds the record for breaking 100 balloons in 39.08 seconds.  Imagine practicing for that record? Not so sure we want to go for that one.
There are others, but we like this dog who performs 49 tricks in one minute. 
My human and I thought we could possibly break this one – but you see the part where the owner lies down and puts her feet in the air, and the dog stands on her feet?  Yeah well my human couldn’t get up fast enough, so we just couldn’t break the record.  That was the ONLY problem.  Sure it was.
Anyway it’s Monday and my human is still OFF.  Let’s see what record we can break today…  Most poop bags used in a half hour walk….most barking…fastest eating dogs….oh what fun!  My human says the only Guinness item that will ever come through the doors of this house is the drinkable kind.  She needs it with us!
Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 95

National Dog Day

August 26.  And it’s National Dog Day!!! Mind you, in our house, EVERY day is dog day.
But still, we like to have a day to remind you what incredible creatures we are…
We can make you laugh.  And we can make you cry.  
We live each day with joy – a practice that humans could follow.  
We are happy to see you – whether you’ve been gone for a week on vacation or a few minutes to the bathroom.  
We perform jobs unlike any other animal – from search and rescue to herding to physical assistance to therapy – we are incredibly versatile creatures.  Not to mention our duties as household guardians!
We enjoy the toys and treats you give us, but we are most happy with one thing- the time we spend with you. 
Here are a few of our favorite dog quotes on this special day!

And while we MAY drive you crazy at times, we know that once your heart is owned by a dog, you have experienced a magical connection that will exist – even long after we are gone.  How very lucky you are…and so are we….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up!
Seizure free days: 94

Jump

August 25.  And on this day in 1981, some guy by the name of Jeff Schwartz set a solo record for trampoline bouncing. – for 266 hours and 9 minutes.  Yup.  Over 10 days.  I don’t think anyone has broken his record. Wonder why?  Because he couldn’t feel his feet when he was done?  I’m not joking.  Other people have broken records for height and somersaults on a trampoline – but it seems Jeff did it the longest.

So to celebrate his achievement- if that’s the right word- here are some canine loving trampoline experts: 
That bulldog is my favorite.  I think WE need a trampoline.  For the FG.  He already does this crazy leaping thing – so it would be awesome to see him on a trampoline.  Einstein and I would likely prefer to pee on it. I could probably sell tickets for people to watch the FG.  And IMAGINE if I added a sprinkler like someone did in the video.  I am going to be a millionaire.
Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 94

Lost. And found.

Well there was drama in the area.    The day before yesterday, my human got a message on Facebook asking her if she knew a dog who had been posted on the Lost Dog Network.  My human looked, and her heart sank.  It was Willow.   For those who don’t remember, Willow is a Picard who ran away a few months ago, just a week after she moved to Nova Scotia.  She got spooked by something – and was gone.  My human went on a couple of searches and even took Elroy one day.  Willow was safely found after being gone for 4 days.

My human has been meaning to get together with Willow and her owner and with the FG – but she was too busy with work and couldn’t arrange things.  She was just thinking about it this week – as she is still on vacation – and now would be a good time… But that was before she saw the posting…
The Lost Dog posting said Willow was lost at a Provincial Park not 8 minutes from our house.  So after I got my pills at 7:00, my human jumped in the car and went to join in the search.  She didn’t take any of us for one main reason.  The park is lovely – but dogs are supposed to be on leash.  But nobody does – they let their dogs run free.  And well, dogs running up to other dogs who ARE on leash can be iffy.  So she opted to leave us at home.  As she searched, she ran into Willow’s owner.  She was of course, distraught that Willow was missing, and on top of that, some “people” had contacted her and were being judgemental about the fact that this was the second time Willow was missing.  They thought she was an irresponsible owner.  What they DIDN’T know was that Willow’s owner had a busy time at work this week. And she couldn’t get home to take Willow out at noon – like she does all the time.  So – she hired a dog walker.  She wanted to be sure Willow was not bored and that she would get some exercise.  Seems pretty responsible to me.  BUT, unfortunately the walker had Willow dragging her line and something spooked her.  And she was gone…
They searched that night until dark.  Yesterday morning, after we instructed the furnace guy how to clean the furnace and after we had our walks, my human set out again to search.  She met up with a good friend, and they covered a fair bit of the park.  BUT the park is huge – and they realized she could be anywhere.  Just as they were heading to another trail, the phone rang and it was Willow’s owner.  She had been spotted in a residential area, outside the park.  All rushed to that area and walked and drove for several hours.  My human and her friend had to call a break in the late afternoon , because my human had an appointment at the Genius Bar at the Apple store. Not so genius if you ask me, if your phone battery only lasts 45 minutes.  Surely Apple can make better batteries.  But I digress.
Anyway, JUST as my human was walking in to become a genius, her phone rang.  Willow had been found – right where they had been earlier in the afternoon.  Fantastic news!!  
So what are the lessons/questions from this experience? 
1. Never jump to conclusions about how something happened.  Accidents happen – and Willow has a VERY caring and responsible owner.
2.  After this experience and after meeting several dog walkers in the park during the search, my human doesn’t think she would  hire one for walking us in a large multiple-dog walk.  Yeah, yeah.  I KNOW they know their dogs.  And I think that may have been part of the problem in this case – I don’t think the walker knew Willow all that well. 
And although dog walkers are, most likely, smart people who love dogs, they can make a mistake.  Honestly, all it takes is ONE second off leash (or even dragging a leash), for a dog to take off.  I know most dogs stay with the pack, but some of us canines like to be individuals, and we don’t necessarily care where the pack goes.  I know Einstein and I wouldn’t care about a pack.  Maybe the whole group walk thing is better for certain breeds.  My human did note that a group she ran into was made up mostly of Labs, Goldens and a Boston Terrier thrown in as a protection dog.  At least HE thought he was.  I guess I have to read more about this whole pack and off-leash thing to have a better understanding- but for now, we’re not booking our group tour.  Besides, no one in their right mind would take us!  My HUMAN can’t even walk the three of us!  
I would be curious to know more from readers whose dogs go on multiple dog walks – with a dog walker.  Are dogs trusted off leash or dragging a line?
Bottom line- Willow is safe and sound. So this scary story had a very happy ending!  Maybe she and the FG will get to meet after all!  In a fenced area….
Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 93

Audiobooks

My human did something she can’t BELIEVE she has never done before.  Actually, she’s a bit embarrassed to even admit this, but we share everything – so why not tell you how behind the times she is. Oh and then I might as well tell you about a little accident with the FG.  But not to worry – he is FINE.  He has a bald spot – but he’s fine…

It began with a groom-a-thon.  My human actually dreads them as much as we do.  I’m the GOOD dog during these things while the other two put on a show like you are watching WWF wrestling.  But to make the torture a bit better (for my human anyway) she has FINALLY figured out how to order and download current best sellers in audiobook format – for free from the library.  Yeah – I’m sure most of you readers have been doing that forever – but she’s a bit slow with the technology. Anyway she ordered some murder mystery book – and it kept her attention the whole time.  Personally I would have preferred Lassie.  I need to get my own library card.  Bottom line – she really didn’t care how longs the groom-a-thon took because she was being entertained.  Glad she was.  So that was the good news…
As part of the groom-a-thon, nails are done.  Einstein and I begrudgingly agree to have them clipped.  But the FG requires the dremel rotary tool to grind his nails.  And he’s pretty good at standing there.  However….yesterday as she went to do one of the nails on a back foot, he moved.  The resulting movement ended in a yelp, and a sudden tossing of the dremel tool onto the floor. As she went to retrieve it, she realized it wasn’t turning quite as fast, probably due to the clump of Picard hair around the shaft.  She apologized to the FG – who honestly was FINE – but who milked it by dramatically putting his head on her shoulder. ( Mind you, he does that ALL the time.). She examined him to see where the clump came from – but she couldn’t find a bald patch.  Thank goodness.  I told her that someone could call animal control for that move. She told me that MY licking of Einstein’s ears could also,precipitate a call to animal control.  Funny.
Today the furnace guy is coming.  Just to clean it.  You can be sure we will be sequestered during that visit. It’s unlikely that we would be of much help…Not to worry though, no matter where we are – Einstein will be shouting out instructions….
Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 92

The poop on poop.

My human’s mother used to enjoy reading my blog.  BUT, there was one topic that used to drive her crazy.  Poop.  She would always say to my human “WHY do you have to talk about poop?  What a horrible topic.” 
But as any human who is owned by dogs knows, poop is a prevalent topic for discussion and study.  We won’t get into the whole “consistency”topic -that alone is topic for an entire blog.  Humans  obsess about consistency.  It’s crazy.  If martians landed from another planet they would think that humans are totally crazy when it comes to that issue alone.
But no – today I’m reviewing the whole pooping pattern we dogs demonstrate.  For example, Einstein is causing my human to buy poop bags by the gross.  Yesterday, Einstein used up three bags on one walk – himself.  Not because he had the trots.  Oh no.  Quite the contrary.  This is not a consistency issue.  This is a deposit issue. A rate of deposit issue.  To give you the full picture, visualize a PON walking happily down the street.  Suddenly he begins to walk like a cowboy who went for a trail ride that lasted just a BIT too long.  And as he is walking that way – he heads for the middle.  The middle of the street – or better yet, the middle of someone’s driveway.  It is critical to head for the middle when you hear traffic coming.  So he makes a deposit.  But just a small deposit.  My human picks up and we continue on our walk.  Within ten minutes, he does an encore performance.  Calling for another poop bag.  And then, within another ten minutes he drops another one more small deposit, just for good luck.  Gotta keep those poop bag manufacturers in China employed.
All the time my human is picking up after Einstein, I have, in the past two weeks, decided NOT to go at all.  I mean my human is on VACATION- our walks should be even LONGER.  So although we have our usual route and I NEED to go, I don’t. Her blood pressure was going up the other morning when I was happily sniffing and skipping along, at the same time the poop machine was making multiple deposits.  My human even looked at us at one point and said “Seriously, can’t you JUST make ONE deposit?  And can’t YOU HURRY up?!”
In the meantime, we have the last Musketeer who is the trail marker.  He creates a trail of poop – he doesn’t stop to go.  He just crouches and keeps on moving.  AND he goes in the high grass at the side of the road – so it’s great fun trying to find all the parts of the deposit. 
Ah yes.  The joys of owning humans.  I still say it’s quite remarkable that they are supposed to be the “smarter” beings – yet we get them to pick up OUR poop.  Who is smarter?
Right now my human’s mother is looking down and shaking her head about this whole blog today.  Wonder if dogs poop in heaven….
Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days:  91

The B Day

So what do Benjamin Harrison (23rd US President), Fabian Gottlieb-Von Bellingshausen (a Russian explorer born in 1779 who discovered Antarctica), Al Roker (the TV weather guy) and my human all have in common? The same birthday- and it’s today!  Yup.  She survived another year with us.  It was touch and go a few times this year – when she walked out that door and we wondered if she was ever coming back.   Mind you,  the door was to the bathroom – but you never know if she might climb out that window.

Birthdays are an interesting event.  Did you know that the earliest birthday celebrations date back to Egyptian times.  I bet my human remembers that.  The Ancient Greeks are attributed as being the first to put candles on cakes when they offered moon-shaped cakes to the lunar goddess, Artemis.  The ancient Romans supposedly were the first to celebrate the birthdays of the common man, and not just religious figures or famous citizens.  BUT – “man” is the operative word – birthdays for WOMEN were not believed to have been celebrated until the 12th century.  Whoa.  Talk about gender discrimination!  The women got to bake the cakes-made of wheat flour, olive oil, honey and grated cheese. Yum.  But the guys got to celebrate.  While it obviously wasn’t fair – I still like the sounds of the recipe…

Different cultures and religions celebrate birthdays in different ways.  And then we have world  “famous” birthdays- like Christmas.  Countries celebrate the birthdays of famous monarchs or presidents or political leaders – and for most it basically represents a day off work.  And maybe some shopping sales.  Even if ya didn’t really like the person or their political views, ya still are quite happy to celebrate the day they were born.  Humans.

Google “dog birthday “ and you can literally find dozens of ways for us canines to celebrate our special day.  Wonder what the ancient Romans would have thought of that?  

I’ve said it before – humans are a funny lot.  When they are young, they want to be older.  And when they are old, they want to be younger.  And perhaps, at some point,  they just get to the age where they are happy for the here and now.  Like us dogs!! They look in the mirror and no longer see “age lines”, but see “story lines.”  They start realizing that it’s not about what the world can give them, but what they can give the world.  Because my human is over 400 years old in dog years, she is starting to appreciate that more and more all the time.  She has also learned to embrace the chaos!

And she is grateful for family, friends (near and far) and canines who share with her this crazy up and down, happy and sad, serious and silly, simple and complex journey called life.  And for another birthday…

Happy birthday to my human.  Paws crossed you get a liver cake.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 89





Bird rescue. 911.

Yesterday morning began quietly.  Actually, come to think of it, it didn’t…

On Friday night my human went up to the golf course to meet some of the neighbors for supper.  When she got home, she took each of us out for a pee on leash.  Well the FG was TERRIBLY interested in some squeaking noises coming from a bush in front of the house.  There was actually quite a racket going on, so my human kept him on a tight lead.  Well the squeaking and squawking did not stop – and it was right outside our bedroom window.  My human thought at one point that she would have to sleep in the DFZ if it didn’t stop.  Clearly some birds were unhappy.  But around 10:30 it stopped, so it was a peaceful night.
However at around 6AM, the racket began again.  She looked around the bushes but didn’t see anything.  So she decided to text Pig Pen’s human who is the resident Mother Nature.  She said she would be right over.  So Mom Nature came over and they began the search, armed with a ladder, and a broom.  All the time while we canines were barking out instructions.  Long story short, they discovered a nest of baby birds who clearly appeared to be in distress.  There were three little guys – crying and crying.  And obviously no Mom in sight.  So they called a local animal rescue group and were told to take the babies to the Emergency Vet Clinc- where they would be picked up.  So Mom Nature cut the nest out of the tree, and my human was chauffeur over to the hospital.  There the techs whisked away the little fellas to feed and take care of them until the rescue center picked them up.
So with that good deed done, the humans were invigorated and Mom Nature offered to go with my human to the local Rails to Trails – with all three of US for a walk.  Rails to Trails are just what they sound like – old railway lines that have been converted to hiking/biking/ cross-country skiing trails.  Pig Pen didn’t come as he was going for a vet check up with his other human.  My human warned Mom Nature that this could be an “interesting “ experience as we had never done this trail before.  I think Mom Nature was having an adrenaline high after the bird rescue- that she didn’t really have a good idea about what she had just volunteered for. 
My human loaded us in Ludwig, with the FG in a crate and Einstein and I behind the crate.  By the time my human went to get in the driver’s seat, I had squirmed around the crate and was already in the passenger seat.  I was promptly removed – and put back in my designated riding area.
When we arrived at the trail, Mom Nature opted to walk me and Einstein, while my human handled the FG.  It was a great walk – complete with a total of 6 poops.  Sorry for the “too much information “ – but it is just to emphasize how happy we were!!  After we walked about 2.5 km, we turned around to go back to the car.  We had passed numerous cyclists, walkers and joggers, and had been extremely well-behaved.  But  on the way back we faced something new. Someone walking a dog…
And this presented a problem.  Because when Einstein has been somewhere ONCE, he now claims that territory as his own.  And he had walked this route 10 minutes ago.  So now it was his.  Keep in mind that you can walk Einstein through a dog show, or take him to the vet, where he sees other dogs, and he is FINE.  But walk a road or a trail that he has walked, and it is HIS.   Luckily by this point, my human and Mom Nature had traded leashes, so Mom Nature only had to contend with the FG.  
Actually, the FG and I didn’t care about the other dog, it was just Einstein who put on the Cujo routine.  Not a pretty sight.  The next dog they spotted, my human crouched down and stuffed treats in our faces – so Einstein never even NOTICED the dog who walked within 6 feet of us.  That’s one good  thing about food-loving PONs.  After the second dog encounter, they decided to call it a day.  We had walked almost 5km and the trail was getting busier.  It was almost 10AM.
We all crashed when we got home – and even my human had a little nap.  Bird rescue and animal wrangling is tough work!
I can hardly wait to see what adventures await us today!!
Have a good one. Peace and paws up!
Seizure free days: 88

Walks. And the Vet.

So yesterday I went to the Vet…

As all of you regular readers know, my seizures have been under good control for almost 3 months.  However…. my human noticed in the past few weeks that I have been showing some signs of rear end wobbles.  Now whenever I started on new meds, I always showed these signs.  But nothing is new.  So she wondered about it.  Was it due to the temperatures we have had – and could it possibly affect the way I metabolize my medications?  She also discovered two bumps on me – which she figured were cysts, but she thought we should get them checked.
As usual, I was the PERFECT patient.  The Vet actually said that if all her patients were as well behaved as me, her job would be very easy.  She isn’t worried about the cysts- she said they appear to be harmless.  I do have a broken molar – which we will keep an eye on.  So much for antlers in this house…
The Vet examined me thoroughly and felt I had weakness in one rear leg.  I have no joint issues, and I am not painful- but one leg is definitely weaker than the other.  We will watch to see if it gets worse.
Otherwise, my blood work was substantially better than earlier in the year.  And we have decided to try and wean me off one of my seizure meds – so that is good. 
So.  All in all good news –  and also some things to watch.  I quite enjoy going to the Vet – the treats are awesome.
Because we had a morning Vet appointment, my human decide to take all three of us on our morning walk.  To the golf course.   Together.  I’m not kidding.
Let’s just say she has no plans to do that again any time soon.  How does one describe spinning barking dogs with twisted leashes while the human is attempting to pick up poop – and remain upright.  I believe the word is CHAOS.  She just kept mumbling “Why did I do this?  What was I thinking?  Why did I do this?” We all made it home in one piece.  Barely.
Today we have no plans. We have rain in the forecast, so we PONs would be quite happy to stay indoors.  The FG can go for a long walk – that’s fine with us.
My human may actually read a book today.  Whatever that means.  As long as it’s not about dog training…
Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!
Seizure free days: 88

The dating profile.

My human has yet to start that dating profile.  So I think I’ll get it started for her.  Here we go:

Older woman.  More than a half century old.  Still showing effects of eating too much Halloween candy two years ago.  But working on it.

Have a job. It’s rewarding. Have not been fired yet.

Can cook.  Love to do laundry and wash the kitchen floor. ( I’ll just put that in to see if they are really reading this thing).

Like to travel.  Like to collect sea glass.  Like to write.  Like to take pictures.  Like to paint.  Like to hike.  Like to bike.  And REALLY like dogs.  Which brings me to a warning….

Most importantly, any potential dates must LOVE, ADORE and CHERISH dogs.  Must also have the patience of Job and a HUGE sense of humor.  Currently owned by three PERFECT canines.  An 8 year old genius, a 6 year old writer with special needs and a 2 year old clown.  

Potential dates must know how to bake dog biscuits.  Dates must know how to throw a fetch toy and should not be alarmed with dog hair on pants, in vehicles or occasionally in food.   Must also feel comfortable with picking up dog poop.  Multiple times if you are walking the genius dog.  Grooming skills not necessary.  Must be willing to feed dogs at any time of the night or day when they request food.  ( I bet she is going to take out that part.)
OK… it’s a start.  Pretty impressive if you ask me.  I haven’t gotten to the part about the screening process we dogs will carry out.  
Oh this is going to be such fun….
Have a good one. Peace and paws up!
Seizure free days:  87