My human’s mother used to enjoy reading my blog. BUT, there was one topic that used to drive her crazy. Poop. She would always say to my human “WHY do you have to talk about poop? What a horrible topic.”
But as any human who is owned by dogs knows, poop is a prevalent topic for discussion and study. We won’t get into the whole “consistency”topic -that alone is topic for an entire blog. Humans obsess about consistency. It’s crazy. If martians landed from another planet they would think that humans are totally crazy when it comes to that issue alone.
But no – today I’m reviewing the whole pooping pattern we dogs demonstrate. For example, Einstein is causing my human to buy poop bags by the gross. Yesterday, Einstein used up three bags on one walk – himself. Not because he had the trots. Oh no. Quite the contrary. This is not a consistency issue. This is a deposit issue. A rate of deposit issue. To give you the full picture, visualize a PON walking happily down the street. Suddenly he begins to walk like a cowboy who went for a trail ride that lasted just a BIT too long. And as he is walking that way – he heads for the middle. The middle of the street – or better yet, the middle of someone’s driveway. It is critical to head for the middle when you hear traffic coming. So he makes a deposit. But just a small deposit. My human picks up and we continue on our walk. Within ten minutes, he does an encore performance. Calling for another poop bag. And then, within another ten minutes he drops another one more small deposit, just for good luck. Gotta keep those poop bag manufacturers in China employed.
All the time my human is picking up after Einstein, I have, in the past two weeks, decided NOT to go at all. I mean my human is on VACATION- our walks should be even LONGER. So although we have our usual route and I NEED to go, I don’t. Her blood pressure was going up the other morning when I was happily sniffing and skipping along, at the same time the poop machine was making multiple deposits. My human even looked at us at one point and said “Seriously, can’t you JUST make ONE deposit? And can’t YOU HURRY up?!”
In the meantime, we have the last Musketeer who is the trail marker. He creates a trail of poop – he doesn’t stop to go. He just crouches and keeps on moving. AND he goes in the high grass at the side of the road – so it’s great fun trying to find all the parts of the deposit.
Ah yes. The joys of owning humans. I still say it’s quite remarkable that they are supposed to be the “smarter” beings – yet we get them to pick up OUR poop. Who is smarter?
Right now my human’s mother is looking down and shaking her head about this whole blog today. Wonder if dogs poop in heaven….
Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Seizure free days: 91