May 20. And according to the crazy calendar, it is Flower Day. I guess it’s a day to appreciate flowers. The canines in this household appreciate flowers. We like to eat dandelions and we will pee on any other flowering plant that dares to grow on our property. Right now, the mantra is “don’t pee on the lupines.” Lupines grow wild here and they are coming up like crazy on the part of our property closest to the road. It started with a few flowers and now they are really spreading. They will open in a few weeks. My human really likes the tall, cylindrical flowers that come mostly in purple and white, and sometimes also in pink on our property. And right now, as they are coming up, she struggles to drag us down the road when we go for a walk, so we don’t stop to water them.
Month: May 2018
Somebody is bleeding…..
My human has decided she would like a day without any drama. Just one day. No seizures, swarms of black flies, bears, banana swallowing, counter surfing capers – just one day of peace. But no. Not in THIS house.
Puntastic
May 18. And according to the crazy calendar it is O. Henry Pun Off day. A day to honor the writer William Syndey Porter from the 1800’s whose pen name was O. Henry. Stories by O. Henry often included twisted, suprise endings and used wordplay. So in Texas each year, there is a Pun contest to honor the author”s artisic use of words – through puns.
So I decideed to loook up some dog puns. And thanks to Reader’s Digest, I was able to find a few. They are groaners – so don’t blame me. I didn’t write them. Here we go…
What do you call a dog that floats ? A pug boat
What do you call a sad pup who loves fruit? A mellon collie
What was the dog’s favorite type of homework? A lab report
What did the dog at the contrsuction site say? My specialty is roofing.
What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador
Why did the tree think the dog was talking to him? He kept saying “bark, bark, bark.”
What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster? A cockerpoodledoo.
What’s the diference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
What did the Dalmation say after a big meal? That hit the spot.
What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound
What’s a chihuahua’s favorite Christmas carol? Fleas Navidad
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet.
Mistaken identity
But if you think mistaking a bear for a dog is unusual – what abut the story of the guy in Florida who also made a big mistaken identity error. Apparently he went to pick up the family Maltese at the groomer – and are you ready – brought home the WRONG dog. He THOUGHT the dog seemed a bit “different” but it wasn’t until he got the dog home that his sons noticed he had the wrong dog. And, of course, his sons turned to social media to share their father’s embarrassing mistake. You can be sure he won’t make that error again!
As you may have noticed, I, unfortunately, had another seizure the other night. My human has a suspician as to why it might have happened – in fact, that evening she was wondering if it would. It seems every time I get low on my potassium bromide medication – like there is an inch left in the bottom of the bottle, I have a seizure. She actually asked the pharmacist the last time it happened if the medication loses it’s potency over time. They said it’s not used a lot – so they had no info on shelf life. But it did happen the last time the bottle was low – so MAYBE that was the reason? Who knows. It’s just disappointing.
Anyway, it’s Thursday so one more day of work for my human after today and THEN she has a three day weekend! Whooo hooo. Longer walks!! In the dark. Before the black flies get up. While making lots of noise to scare away bears. I can’t WAIT!!!
Have a good one. Peace and paws up!
Seizure-free days: 1
Pooh. Or Paddington. Or Smokey. Or T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
Well QUITE the excitement at our place Monday night. Around 8PM, my human went into the kitchen for a little snack. Any GOOD snacks are hidden in the microwave for safety reasons. She headed for the stash and happened to look out the kitchen window. And not 20 feet away she saw the rear end of a creature ambling away from the house. A BIG jet black rear end. A bear. She went to grab her phone to take a photo as he wandered up the grassy hill and disappeared behind the bed of large bushes and plants. She stood there shaking – not knowing what to do. She called a neighbor who didn’t answer and quickly hung up as she saw him again- heading back down the driveway toward the house.
When he headed back to the can with the glass, my human decided he might hurt himself. No. I’m not kidding. So she sequestered us in the house, and threw open the front door. The sound of that scared Pooh for good, and he dashed into the woods- and this time disappeared for good.
Have a good one. Peace and paws up!
Seizure-Free days: 0 Again.
Horrible guests.
We have company. Bad company. They are back. And we cannot WAIT until they are gone. Talk about unwelcome guests. And they are as big and bad as ever. Who? The black flies. It was like overnight. We went from hanging out on our deck, to being sequestered except for walks. And it’s a good thing our walks are super early. Black flies like to sleep in. My human tried to do some yard work on Saturday, and she had to get her bug suit out. They can also bite us dogs- and they really seemed to go for the FG’s ears. Along with ticks, they are right up there with those things I would like to see become extinct. Seriously. I know it’s not nice to be so mean, but both insects have no redeeming qualities in my mind. Thankfully, unlike ticks, the miniature flying piranhas will only be around for a few weeks. In the meantime, we pray for wind. STRONG winds to blow them into tomorrow.
We just need some researcher to figure out how to get the two insects to annihilate one another. Now wouldn’t that be perfect…Anybody know a good entomologist?
Birthday boy adventures
So yesterday we got up and Einstein and I were all excited- we got to go for a long walk with Pig Pen and his human. Early in the walk, Pig Pen rolled in something- so I became OBSESSED with him. I stuck to him like glue. And I kept smelling his face because whatever he rolled in was delectable.
Happy birthday!!!
Well it’s a big day here. The FG is celebrating his birthday. The big 2. Now if he was a human, we could expect the Terrible Twos. I think we have already endured the Wild Ones. I must say, though, that he IS beginning to settle down. A bit. The other night when my human went to take me and Einstein out for our last pee, she must have been really tired – because she didn’t close the interior door. And just as we turned to come back in, the screen door burst open and out came the FG. And it was dark out. And he was FREEEEEEE. My human had visions of him bolting for the woods and ending up as a porcupine pin cushion. She whisked us into the house, and calmly went out to get him. She sweetly said “sit” at a distance of about 10 feet and she nearly passed out when he did! She calmly walked over to him, he wagged his tail and let her guide him back into the house. So I guess he IS maturing.
Guilt
She is feeling kind of guilty today because she entered the FG in a dog show this weekend. Actual 4 dog shows. She paid their entry fees and everything. But she is pooped. She has had a very busy time at work the last couple of weeks – so she doesn’t feel like she has the energy to go to the show. I’m not sure what the big deal is. I mean all she has to do is pack the vehicle with everything one needs for a show – grooming table, all kinds of grooming supplies (for a dog who basically needs a brushing. But one never knows what one will need.) Water. Food. Chair. Mat for the floor. Dryer. In case a flood occurs and she needs to dry him off. A change of clothing. In case she drips ketchup from a dog show hotdog on her attire. Extra shoes. Crate. Oh yeah – and then an assortment of leashes and collars. One to walk the dog into the building. Another to use in the show ring. Bait (or treats in real world verancular). Oh yeah – and then she needs the dog. Who probably won’t fit in the vehicle with all the other stuff.
Imagine that she didn’t feel she had the energy to lug all that stuff into the show site. And then lug it all out the next day.
Anyway, she still feels guilty because she DOES like to show him. But his show career will have to wait until later in the summer – when her work is done.
In the meantime, today is also Limerick Day. And I must confess, I’m reusing these from a previous blog. I think they are good enough to repeat!
You cannot forget to feed
To eat and to go poo
That we dogs are very smart
Never harm you
Trivia
It’s Friday, so time for some dog trivia that you can share with all your friends on the weekend. First question – how many US states have official state dogs? You know what I mean – states have official flowers, trees, etc. But how many have an official state dog? The answer: 12. That surprised me. I thought there would be more. Now let’s see if you can figure out some of the the breeds that go with the states. Let’s start with some easy examples…