Blog Feed

Christmas Eve. It’s finally here. Tonight we stand guard for some heavy-set bearded guy to wedge his way down our chimney. I have yet to see him. We always fall asleep.

Anyway, instead of writing a list for myself this year, I thought I would write one for her highness. I have to be quick – because I’m not sure what the deadline is. I’ll text it.

Dear Santa;

My human has been a pretty good human, although at times, I do find she can be a bit stingy with treats. Otherwise, I think you can consider her on your Nice list. Since she is owned by 3 canines, I have come up with a list of items she could definitely use:

1. Lint rollers. Lots of them. If your elves make a jumbo size, her highness would appreciate it. We’re talking Costco size times ten.

2. Paper towel. She is forever wiping water off the floor, mud off the floor as well as goobers off cupboard doors. She could use the jumbo size in this as well.

3. New uniform pants. In the event that she needs to leave the house for an emergency, we don’t want to be embarrassed by her appearance. Those pants need to go. That does not need to be jumbo size. Then again- she did eat all that leftover Halloween candy – better make those jumbo too.

4. Windex window cleaner. The French doors are beginning to look like the glass is frosted from our olfactory art. Make that jumbo size as well.

5. Vacuum cleaner bags. That’s a given.

6. Some new “atractibles” to attract our attention during photo shoots. She tries desperately to get us to look at the camera, using a variety of toys- and she also makes enough wild animal sounds that she could do voice overs for a jungle movie. During our Christmas photo shoot (well during one of them) she got so exasperated, she tried fake crying. We looked at her for a split second, but she was too slow to get the shot. And of course when she tried that trick again, we didn’t fall for it. Even though I think she WAS crying by that point.

7. Wine. Jumbo size as well. For those days when we don’t behave. I hope your sleigh is the size of a tractor trailer for that order.

Those items would definitely make her happy. Sure- she would probably like some jewelry too. As long as it has a PON and/or Picard on it.

As for us dogs, Santa- just a couple jumbo size bags of treats. No clothing or educational toys. And no head bands or antlers.

Thanks again for your hard work. It is much appreciated.

Your friend,

Viktor

The FG and I did not make the Christmas photo shoots easy this year. During one session, the FG REFUSED TO LOOK at the camera. And in EVERY shot I look like I am THE most depressed dog on the planet. Meanwhile, Einstein just sits and smiles…Here are some bloopers…

In this one, yours truly shows how I really feel about photos.

Here is one of 200 where I look sad. And the FG will not look at the camera.

Here we have one of the toys her highness was shaking to get us to look at the camera.

This one isn’t too bad – the FG is almost looking at the camera out of the corners of his eyes…

Her highness must have tried for an hour to get a perfect shot. And we were getting loads of treats. But finally…she got this one. And I think it’s probably the best of the whole lot…

Oh the joys of Christmas..

Have a good one. Peace and paws up!

It’s inevitable. And it will probably happen today. Every year at this time. The annual Christmas bath.

This past week, her highness was working on some Christmas wreaths in the garage – and get this – she used our grooming table as a work station. Best use of that table I have ever seen. I was hoping she would keep making wreaths right up until Christmas Day. But no. She finished Friday night. And she put all of her wreath making supplies away. The glue gun has been put in its holster.

While the workshop was busy, we canines were not allowed inside. Glass ornaments and hot glue do not make for a good combination with wild dogs. So we’re glad that’s over – but now it means the torture table has returned to its original purpose.

Chances are, yours truly will be first. She starts with the easiest dog – which is probably not the best idea. It seems she should leave me until last. But I think she likes to get some positive reinforcement early on- so it will motivate her to do the “other two.” Einstein is the worst. So he will actually be second. Because if she left him until last, it would likely never happen.

The FG doesn’t love the brushing part, but he doesn’t mind bathing and he’s ok with the jet engine dryer. And also he’s the quickest to dry.

And you KNOW, after we are all fluffed and puffed, there will be that attempt to get the perfect Christmas photo. She has a back up already if it doesn’t work out. Clearly she has too much time on her hands with this retirement thing.

Well, time to get ready….Personally, I love all the treats….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

The other day, her highness had some of the “girls” who live on our road, over for some cupcakes and drinks. It’s a semi-annual holiday thing where they come over to see the Christmas explosion. And as far as we could tell, the drinks were not milk or water.

We canines were sequestered in the bedroom, but everybody was nice enough to come over to us to say hello. Her highness knows that we do not have the best manners when it comes to food. Frankly, if no one was watching, we would attempt to help ourselves. Hence the sequestering.

The next day, there were some leftover sweets and because there are people starving somewhere, her highness could not let those cupcakes go to waste. Need I remind her that she is still sporting the effects of eating a few lbs worth of Halloween candy. From 2016.

Anyway, she got a cup of coffee and took out her cupcake. She sat down to enjoy her treat, when yours truly started scratching, and the barrette I was wearing flopped down into my eyes. She saw my dilemma and got up to help me out. Little did she know I was just making a distraction. Because as she took the barrette from my hair, she turned around and saw the FG with two paws on the counter – licking her cupcake. “Hey”, she shouted “leave that alone!” He glanced at her, took another quick lick and jumped down as she quickly approached. She said “what are you doing eating my cupcake.” As if she expected him to answer. And really, the answer was pretty obvious. It was there. He was hungry. He helped himself. Did she really need to ask?

Yes, my picky Picard is not nearly so picky these days. And he has now added cupcakes to his roster of edibles.

I wonder though, if his name gets added to Santa’s naughty list. And my name gets added for being an accomplice. Looks like Einstein is the only one on the nice list. So far.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Not a whole lot new around here this week. We had some snow – and her highness was leary about the ice underneath- so our exercise was on our own property. We didn’t go walking on the road.

We have two trails on our property that meet at the lake, so we basically do a circle. The FG is always on a leash or long line. Her highness doesn’t feel like chasing him through the woods. Einstein and I are usually off leash. Unless her highness has to be somewhere- then yours truly is put on a leash too. I’m generally trustworthy. Or at least I was until the other day.

It all happened because her highness made a few big mistakes. First she was stopping us every ten feet to take a photo. I have to tell you, the FG and I get bored pretty quickly. I start eating snow, and the FG starts eating branches. The only cooperative one is Einstein. So what else is new? Anyway, after playing pup-arazzi FOREVER, her highness told us it was time to go back to the house. The only problem was that she went clockwise instead of counterclockwise on the trail. And the problem with that is we end up at a certain point where we turn and go home OR we go straight and end up on the neighbors’ property. Well yours truly was tired of photos AND I knew her highness was out of treats. I was in the lead. Her highness shouted to turn right. I know exactly how to go home. And I stopped and then went full tilt straight ahead. Followed by the good dog- Einstein. Her highness must have shouted my name 485 times. “Viktor. Viktor stop. Viktor wait. Viktor treats. Viktor, you’re in trouble. VIK-TOR!!!!” Then the instructions were repeated – and this time she inserted Frodo for Viktor. Neither of us listened. Here she was shouting, racing (as much as she races) through the snow – and the tree limbs which were blocking the trail because they were covered in snow. She was getting pretty snowy as she chased us and held onto the FG’s lead as he pulled to keep up with us. Once we got to the neighbors’ house, I didn’t know what to do. They weren’t home. Of course I stopped to pee on one of their bushes, which gave her highness that window of opportunity to grab me by the collar. Except I didn’t have one on! She had brushed me earlier and had removed it. Still, she could grab ahold of my hair. One of the disadvantages of not being a Doberman. She told me to get home. And I happily trotted along. Down their driveway and onto ours. And back to the house.

Her highness was not impressed and uttered that saying I have heard 4,295 times – “Viktor, you are going to be the death of me.” She’s SO dramatic.

Anyway, I think it’s pretty clear I’m on Santa’s naughty list. I wonder if I should just concede defeat-and give up writing a list. Nah – I might as well still give it a try. I mean what’s the worst that can happen? I don’t get any presents? I’ll just take the FG’s. Just kidding. Maybe.

Her highness did mumble something about making up for my runaway action by trying on “something ” that she got at the Dollar Store. Heaven help me. This CANNOT be good if this is a penance. We’ve done antlers, Santa hats, garland, scarves and elf hats. And I even had a tree on my head. What can possibly be left….we’ll just have to wait and see.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

So here you see one of our most recent trio shots. We all know that getting three of us to stay in place and then for ALL of us to look at the camera, is nothing short of a miracle. But this shot is interesting for another reason. Notice anything about the photo? Anything interesting? And don’t feel badly if you don’t see anything. Because it’s pretty hard to make out.

About a month ago, her highness went to one of many Christmas craft fairs that are held in Halifax each year. She likes to buy local and to support local craftspeople.

So she went to the fair and came across a booth selling custom made dog collars. Now truthfully, we need another dog collar in this house like we need a hole in the treat bag. So she resisted the temptation to buy more collars. BUT she bought something else. Something handmade. And it was also seasonal as it was made of a Christmas print. And what did she buy? Bow ties. Three bow ties. A larger one for the FG and medium sized ones for me and a Einstein. They were very cute. And they snap onto your collar. So her highness bought them thinking they would be perfect for our Christmas photo shoot.

So she waited until we had some snow, stuffed her pockets with liver treats, attached our bow ties and took us out to attempt our Christmas greeting photo.

Wrangling us for the photo was the first challenge. The FG was on a leash but Einstein and I were free. If she wasn’t telling me to get my face out of the snow, she was pleading with the FG to look at the camera. She was tossing mittens, waving treats and making all kinds of sounds. I have no idea how many shots it took to get this shot.

But the funny thing- can you even TELL we are wearing those expensive bow ties? I can’t! Sure you can see something there- but do they look like bow ties?! I think not. More money spent on something that could have been better spent on dog treats. At least that’s my opinion.

She did mumble something that we should try this again. Can someone please tell her it’s futile? Bow ties and hairy dogs are not generally good company. Unless the bow ties are HUGE.

Wait. Don’t give her any ideas…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Research has shown that we dogs can sniff out a bad person. And sometimes humans have good intuition too…

This story dates back to last February. Remember when I got to go to the Halifax Kennel Club show – and I participated in Meet the Breed? It’s that political gig where people meet you, and they can learn whether or not a particular breed might be right for them. It’s a sweet gig because all you have to do is sit on a table, get pats and treats. I love it. And it’s a great way for people to learn about different breeds.

While we were there, a woman approached my table and told her highness she was interested in my breed. I must confess, I wasn’t overly excited about meeting her. Not that I did anything or even shied away, I just didn’t pay much attention to her. The woman, who I will call Kathy (not her real name) explained that she had bred Border Collies for years, but was thinking of getting a different breed. She explained that she was also interested in seeing a Berger Picard. This was before she even knew her highness was owned by both breeds. They chatted at length, and she seemed nice enough….but there were a few things she said that made her highness’ spidey senses go on alert. For example, she talked about her interest in yet another breed, but stated that people who owned the breed were “so protective of them that they wouldn’t sell her a female for breeding.” Hmmmm. Anyway, she said she would be back two days later to meet The FG when he would be doing his political stint.

On Sunday, the FG was ready for his gig. He REALLY loves it. He should advertise as the kissing booth. Anyway, a different woman approached her highness and said she was a friend of Kathy’s. Kathy couldn’t come that day, but could this woman get her highness’ contact info to share with Kathy. Her highness said to look for my blog and contact her via Facebook (neither of them had a pen.)

Her highness went home and decided to find out a little bit about Kathy who was so interested in potentially meeting and possibly breeding Picards. She found Kathy’s Facebook page and did a LOT of reading. Kathy also bred Jack Russell Terriers. Some of the comments by puppy buyers were … unusual.

In the meantime, Kathy had sent a message to her highness to meet the FG. Her highness didn’t want Kathy coming to our home so suggested a meeting point half way between where Kathy lives and we live. She lives about an hour away. Everything was scheduled. BUT as the day approached, her highness had a weird feeling. A really weird feeling. And she just didn’t want to meet Kathy. So she cancelled. She said she had a lot going on, and her schedule was too tight. Maybe she would see Kathy some time at a dog show. And then her highness did something she rarely does – she blocked Kathy from her Facebook and she blocked Kathy’s phone number. And honestly, her highness felt weird about it. She was being kind of rude to this person, which is not her nature. And Kathy really hadn’t done anything to her. But her highness just did not want to be in contact with her.

That didn’t deter Kathy. She called her highness from another phone. Her highness was driving at the time and said she couldn’t talk because she was driving. She told Kathy she would call her back – which she is embarrassed about because she had no intention of calling back. But what could she say – “I read some stuff in Facebook about you, and I don’t think you should have a Picard?” That would be silly – so she chose avoidance – which was not very nice. But she did it- and she blocked that second phone number. In retrospect she thinks she could have handled it differently, but it’s in the past.

Since that time, her highness has seen Kathy at dog shows and Kathy has not approached her. She also witnessed Kathy selling a puppy outside a public venue to a young couple just a few weeks ago.

Fast forward to this week. The RCMP and SPCA made a seizure of dogs – in what they are calling the largest puppy mill seizure in Nova Scotia history. Now charges are still pending, and names have not yet been released. But with minimal research, her highness was able to determine that it is the same woman… There is actually a Facebook group set up by her puppy owners who have problems with the health and behavior of her dogs.

As I said, charges have not yet been laid. But it is evident that there are some SIGNIFICANT problems with the way this woman breeds dogs. Her highness had alerted the FG’s breeder months ago about the woman – who in fact DID make contact about getting a female to breed. Needless to say, that was never going to happen.

So while we dogs have super good intuition, it appears that sometimes humans also get strange “feelings”. I guess the moral of the story is go with your gut.

And speaking of guts- isn’t it about time for a treat?

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

She tricked us. I didn’t think she could- but we all fell for it…

On Tuesday morning nobody in our household moved when it was time to get up. That’s because we could hear the wind howling and the rain pelting the windows. Einstein and I looked at each other and shook our heads. We had no desire to go out.

But her highness had a doctor’s appointment, so she got up. She went into the bathroom and put on the uniform – which she would wear to take us out, before she showered and changed to go to her appointment. And just as she was emerging from the bathroom , the power went out. Of course this was around 6:30 AM so the house fell into blackness. Luckily she has a light on her phone and she knows where the emergency flashlights are kept. She also put on her headlamp and went to take us out in the yard. Or should I say drag us out. For a change, all of us “did our thing “ in record time. It was too wild out there.

We came back in and had our breakfast by flashlight. Her highness had some juice and some cereal and checked her email while she was eating. She also read the paper by flashlight. As she was eating, she suddenly got an email from her doctor’s office notifying her that her appointment was canceled because the doctor’s office was without power too.

So what does one do when one is retired, it is pouring rain, all dogs have pooped and have eaten and the power is out? Well, one goes back to bed! Or one attempts to go back to bed. Her highness went to lie on her bed and was quickly suffocated by three somewhat moist animals who were WIDE awake. She gave us some pets and then said to “settle down.”

All was peaceful for 6 seconds. And then that obnoxious sound of someone licking himself was heard. Slurp. Slurp. Her highness popped her head up, and put on her glasses to determine the culprit. “Viktor – knock it off,” she scolded. Yours truly stared at her. She put down her head. And I started again. Slurp. Slurp. “Seriously- stop it!” she said. Again she put her head down. They say three times are a charm. Slurp. Slurp. My charming behavior was threatened with a pillow, which she was going to toss my way. So I stopped.

She closed her eyes. For about 10 seconds. Slurp. Slurp. This time it’s Einstein. “Really?” she pleaded. “Stop it.” 3 seconds later – slurp. Slurp. She sat up and glared at the offender who happened to be ON the bed. He stopped.

She gets comfortable. And JUST as she was about to doze off….slurp. Slurp. The third musketeer decided to join in.

At which point her highness bolted up and out of bed. She made a dash for the bedroom door and of course we all followed her. She stopped at door but our momentum kept us running through. She shut the door behind us. We were tricked.

She emerged about an hour later looking all happy and refreshed. No one got up to greet her. Really. We were all upset that she had effectively banished us from her nap time. AND we had been tricked.

We got over our annoyance when she offered some treats and we did forgive her. But then moral of the story is “do not slurp during nap time.” At least not very loudly. Or wait until the human has fallen soundly asleep. Lesson learned.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

Yesterday was a strange day. Actually, I was quite annoyed. Her highness went to WORK. Yup. I figured something was going on when she got up extra early. In fact, I had a feeling she might be leaving us. So I refused to poop. I always do that when I think she’s in a hurry. Our driveway was too icy to walk up to the road – so she had taken us on our trail to the lake. But I wouldn’t go. So she came back home, calmly loaded me in the vehicle and drove me up the road to the public trail. Where I promptly made my deposit.

She went to work to do some volunteer clinical work. I’m not sure what that means but all I know is that she was gone until the afternoon. Mind you, even if she had been home, we wouldn’t have gone for extra walks because it was raining. She got home and changed into her uniform.

Her home uniform consists of baggy pants with a drawstring waist and a baggy sweatshirt. The uniform is often covered in dog hair and has yogurt on the pants. For some reason when we get to lick her breakfast yogurt container, we then lick her pants. I’m not sure why we do it. But the fact is, her comfy drawstring hair and yogurt -covered pants are only ever viewed by us. Those pants may be worn for a dog walk before dawn, but otherwise they are not for public viewing. They are actually also rather thread bare in a few spots – likely from all the washing they get.

Besides washing her uniform, over the past couple of weeks her highness has been on a selling kick. The Lindonian is full of “stuff” and every now and then she decides to sell some things. We told the FG he better behave, or he could be the next item listed for sale. Sometimes Einstein and I like to tease him.

So yesterday, after returning from work and changing into her uniform, she checked her messages and saw that another item had sold. I was all excited for more biscuit money. Einstein reminded me that any income is probably going to pay for the vet bills from the orb ordeal. Right…

When her highness sells things locally, she meets her buyers at a public location. It’s a good way to get rid of things – and she also donates things to local charities as well. Last night she hadn’t planned on going into the closest shopping district to meet someone as she had been out most of the day. She saw our unhappy faces and dreaded going out again, even for what would most likely be a half hour. But she had to go. She COULD have taken us along, but she was a bit rushed, so gave us some treats and drove off.

She was meeting a woman at the local big box book store – Chapters. She texted the woman when she arrived and learned the woman was stuck in traffic. So she figured she would kill some time in the book store.

She was wandering around, no doubt looking for dog obedience books, and for some reason she looked down. And at that moment she suddenly realized in horror that she was wearing the comfy, baggy hair and yogurt covered thread bare uniform pants. AND she had also put on this pair of zip up clunky boots that also never leave our property. She tugged at her jacket, fearing the thread bare comfy baggy hair and yogurt covered pants might be revealing more than anyone would want to see. She slowly walked toward the exit, just as her phone signaled a text from the lady she was supposed to meet.

She met the woman at the front door and was thankful it was dark outside. The hair and yogurt were a bit more difficult to see. So she hoped.

Today she has one errand to run and then she promised she’ll be home with us. I think she may also be washing those pants….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

So we have a problem. What else is new? It’s Einstein’s feet. He is licking them. A lot. And so are we. Well not her highness. But the FG and I are also joining in the foot fetish fun.

Yesterday, after we had our walks, breakfast and blueberries, her highness settled in to have her bagel and coffee. She was reading the paper and suddenly heard this gnawing sound. She looked up, and the FG’s head was sideways and he was gnawing away at Einstein’s hair on the side of his foot. Einstein calmly watched him – like he was getting some kind of fancy pedicure. “Hey- stop that!”, her highness shouted. They both looked at her like she was suddenly speaking in tongues.

It’s a bit ironic that Einstein does NOT like his feet touched by her highness, but we can chew his hair off and lick his feet until they are pink, and he doesn’t care. Maybe her highness should try it.

She doesn’t know why he is doing it. They tried two different medications from the vet and neither worked. She was hoping that since we are back on our old food that MAYBE that would make a difference. Not so far. She also began adding Apple cider vinegar to his food about two weeks ago. But so far, neither change has made a difference. Maybe it will take a bit more time.

And speaking of time, it’s probably about time for me to start writing my annual work of fiction – my letter to Santa. It seems I often mysteriously end up asking for things which her highness suggests. It appears she has some direct connection to the guy in the red suit. I just hope she doesn’t suggest more of those “educational” toys. Or clothes….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

It’s December 6 – and it’s Saint Nicholas Day. Saint Nick was a Bishop of Myra who was known for secret gift-giving. Well, I guess it wasn’t all that secret if everybody knew about it – but his good acts are still celebrated today! He reportedly sold all his possessions and liked to put coins in the shoes of poor people. Obviously not while they were wearing them. Apparently, Saint Nick was the model for Santa Claus. Today is his feast day – and my European readers are no doubt celebrating his special day with gift giving. I reminded her highness that we should be getting gifts today. She said the food in my bowl is a gift. She’s so funny.

She’s been attempting individual holiday photo shots lately but hasn’t been too thrilled with the results yet. Case in point- my less-than-happy expression in this shot.

Seriously. Who in their right mind could look happy wearing a Christmas tree on his head?! Oh wait. We know who…

Einstein will look happy wearing anything. As long as there are treats…

And then we have the LEAST happy musketeer…

She reportedly did get one or two shots where he didn’t look TOO unhappy. Check our Instagram for one.

Oh – someone asked if they could get our calendar- since the draw is over. And yes- you can! If you use a Safari browser (that seems to work best) – you can go to this link and see our calendar!

https://www.prestophoto.com/bookstore/360473

We don’t get all the money from the sale of the calendar- just a few bucks. But enough to buy a bag of biscuits. Well- maybe half a bag.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.