Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve. It’s finally here. Tonight we stand guard for some heavy-set bearded guy to wedge his way down our chimney. I have yet to see him. We always fall asleep.

Anyway, instead of writing a list for myself this year, I thought I would write one for her highness. I have to be quick – because I’m not sure what the deadline is. I’ll text it.

Dear Santa;

My human has been a pretty good human, although at times, I do find she can be a bit stingy with treats. Otherwise, I think you can consider her on your Nice list. Since she is owned by 3 canines, I have come up with a list of items she could definitely use:

1. Lint rollers. Lots of them. If your elves make a jumbo size, her highness would appreciate it. We’re talking Costco size times ten.

2. Paper towel. She is forever wiping water off the floor, mud off the floor as well as goobers off cupboard doors. She could use the jumbo size in this as well.

3. New uniform pants. In the event that she needs to leave the house for an emergency, we don’t want to be embarrassed by her appearance. Those pants need to go. That does not need to be jumbo size. Then again- she did eat all that leftover Halloween candy – better make those jumbo too.

4. Windex window cleaner. The French doors are beginning to look like the glass is frosted from our olfactory art. Make that jumbo size as well.

5. Vacuum cleaner bags. That’s a given.

6. Some new “atractibles” to attract our attention during photo shoots. She tries desperately to get us to look at the camera, using a variety of toys- and she also makes enough wild animal sounds that she could do voice overs for a jungle movie. During our Christmas photo shoot (well during one of them) she got so exasperated, she tried fake crying. We looked at her for a split second, but she was too slow to get the shot. And of course when she tried that trick again, we didn’t fall for it. Even though I think she WAS crying by that point.

7. Wine. Jumbo size as well. For those days when we don’t behave. I hope your sleigh is the size of a tractor trailer for that order.

Those items would definitely make her happy. Sure- she would probably like some jewelry too. As long as it has a PON and/or Picard on it.

As for us dogs, Santa- just a couple jumbo size bags of treats. No clothing or educational toys. And no head bands or antlers.

Thanks again for your hard work. It is much appreciated.

Your friend,

Viktor

The FG and I did not make the Christmas photo shoots easy this year. During one session, the FG REFUSED TO LOOK at the camera. And in EVERY shot I look like I am THE most depressed dog on the planet. Meanwhile, Einstein just sits and smiles…Here are some bloopers…

In this one, yours truly shows how I really feel about photos.

Here is one of 200 where I look sad. And the FG will not look at the camera.

Here we have one of the toys her highness was shaking to get us to look at the camera.

This one isn’t too bad – the FG is almost looking at the camera out of the corners of his eyes…

Her highness must have tried for an hour to get a perfect shot. And we were getting loads of treats. But finally…she got this one. And I think it’s probably the best of the whole lot…