Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Prime Ministers and bunnies

May 4, 2016Leave a Comment

May 4. On this day in 1979, Margaret Thatcher became the first woman to be elected Prime Minister of the UK. Now I’m not a political kind of dog, so I won’t go into whether or not I liked Maggie’s politics, but this much I do know: although she was dubbed the Iron Lady for her tough exterior and uncompromising leadership style – it seems she DID have a soft spot. For dogs! I found that she had a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel – and maybe other dogs too. In her later years, she would sit on a park bench and happily greet dogs as they came along.

Maggie was the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century. The current PM David Cameron has a cat. Seems to me if you want the job for a long time, get a dog. Just my observation.

Last night I regained my title as Find the Bunny C-H-A-M-P. We played indoors but my human continues to make the hiding spots more and more difficult. Velcro dog got to play first. And truth be told, he was a BIT cheeky with my human. He would wait while she hid the bunny, and once he was instructed to find him – he would bark like CRAZY. But that wasn’t the cheeky part. He would bring the bunny back and exchange him for a treat. At which point my human would instruct him to sit and wait while she hid the bunny again. But Velcro dog was B-A-D. When my human said “sit,” he would either bark OR click his teeth at her. And then he would just stand there. He’s been in a “sitting protest mode” lately. So she would say “sit” again. And he would stare at her like she had just said something in Swahili. At which point she would “give him the mad face” and he would sit. This went on EVERY time he brought the bunny back. His game went on for 3 hours. OK. Maybe not that long, but it felt like it.

Then it was my turn. And I, on the other hand, sat INSTANTLY. And I QUICKLY found every bunny hiding place. EVERY one. However…how do I say this…the bunny has some new surgical incisions. Compliments of moi. I DON’T like to give him up. So although I am faster than lightning at finding him…well I had better be careful or Mr. Bunny will be requiring some major suturing. Maybe my human will have to travel back to England to find another bunny. And hey – maybe she could visit with the Prime Minister while she’s there. Nah. He has a cat.

Have a good one.

Lumps….

May 3, 2016Leave a Comment

May 3. According to the Crazy Calendar, today is National Lumpy Rug Day. I guess it is supposed to be a day to appreciate nice non-lumpy rugs. Who comes up with these ideas? Anyway, I THOUGHT it was a day all about Velcro dog. The KING of lumpy rugs. Frodo LOVES to ball up rugs. And we have this raised bed – the ONLY bed we have YET to destroy. And the fleece cover of the bed is attached on four corners to the legs of the bed. Frodo tries with ALL his might to make that bed lumpy. He scratches and digs until my human yells “STOP.” She KNOWS he will eventually rip one of those corners, and then it’s all over. But that’s not the really weird part about this lumpy rug/bed thing. He digs that same way at the tile floor. Like he could make IT lumpy. And my human thinks HE is the smart one?!

Today is also National Specially-abled Pets Day. A day to celebrate those pets who may not have the exact skills that all of us do, but who still live active, happy lives. I searched for the perfect videos to illustrate this – and here are two that I really like. I hope you will too!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/tearjerker-video-shows-incredible-bond-5959134

In this video – but you MAY want to turn down the sound…if you don’t want your dogs to go crazy!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1105962/Disabled-dogs-wheelchairs-play-fetch.html

So a day to celebrate lumps. Rug lumps and overcoming life’s lumps! I hope YOUR day is far from lumpy!

We ARE trainable….

May 2, 2016Leave a Comment

Who knew? We ARE trainable…

Lately our morning routine has become even more chaotic than usual. I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true. You see every morning when we are about to go out on our morning walk, Velcro dog barks while my human is getting ready. He barks. And barks. And barks some more. And my human says “QUIET Frodo.” And he is silent for 8.3 seconds and he starts again. And because she is in such a hurry to get us out, she has basically ignored the morning soloist. But in the past several weeks, I have decided that I should join in. He barks. I bark. He barks. I bark. And we also bark together. Saturday morning, my human had enough. And she was pretty darn clever about her approach. It wasn’t until later that Frodo and I figured it out. Instead of saying a WORD to us, she simply walked away. And we continued our chorus. But gradually the chorus slowed down. And as soon as it stopped, my human came back. So of course we started again. And what did SHE do? She walked away. Frodo and I just looked at each other. This back and forth happened about 4 times. But it wasn’t 3 minutes before you had two PONs sitting silently by the front door. And we were silent while she put on our leashes. And the next day, she only had to walk away once. So. Score one for the human. Now. Getting us to not chase bunnies is probably going to require a BIT more training.

And SPEAKING of bunnies – do you know what we did yesterday?! We played FIND THE BUNNY – OUTSIDE. And I HATE to admit this – but VELCRO DOG was faster than me!!!! I’m blaming it on the fact that I thought we were supposed to find the REAL bunny. I kept circling and zig zagging around the front lawn. But this game is VERY cool – I hope we play it again.

It’s Monday – the beginning of the WORK week. Work is a horrible four letter word in OUR vocabulary. But we will survive – and look forward to some Find the Bunny when my human gets home. Happy Monday all!

© Linda Wozniak

Ice cream and obedience. Life is good.

April 30, 2016Leave a Comment

Well what a day we had yesterday. We had our obedience lesson. And as always, our life is far from boring…

My human got up and took us for good walk. We KNEW when we got home that something was up when she started filling our backpack with assorted leashes, toys and TREATS. Actually I didn’t know, but Velcro dog figured it out and since he was getting all excited, I followed his lead. My human had the hatch open in Harold and we blasted right in. When she tired to get us out to pee before we left, we basically ran in circles barking. So no pre-drive pee.

Our obedience coach lives a little over an hour from us. Her name is Tracy, and she is THE most patient soul in the universe. And since she has a background in education, she is an excellent trainer. When we arrived at her place, we both knew where we were – and we were QUITE pleased to be there.

First it was Frodo’s turn. Tracy had set up a rally course for us to start with. Frodo was good, but he barked throughout the entire course, and he REALLY barked when my human did something wrong. He was telling her how to do it. Frodo and I have come to the conclusion that left to our own devices, we could probably figure out the signs on our own, and do the whole thing better WITHOUT our human. Not that we don’t love her – but honestly, this dog obedience thing is 5% dog and 95% human behavior. At least that’s the way WE see it. When humans get it wrong, which THEY often do – then WE get it wrong. Simple as that.

So after Frodo’s turn, it was MY turn. And here the problem again lies with my human. She is simply TOO slow for me. I want FAST rally. And FAST obedience. This is WORK. Speed it up human. And whatever you do, DO NOT speak to me in that upbeat happy voice. It just makes me go even FASTER. And you have to peel me off the ceiling. I do what’s called rapid freestyle obedience. It’s a joy to watch. If you are a spectator- and not a judge.

We had an awesome lesson with Tracy- and truth be told, I think I was better than Frodo. Not that it is a competition. Now to practice all this stuff at home. Thank goodness Tracy writes it all down – my human would never remember what to do.

So overall things went well – so on the way home, my human decided she needed a milkshake at an Ice cream chain. And she pulled into the drive through to place her order. And in a moment of weakness, felt guilty because she was JUST ordering something for herself. SO she ordered ice cream cones for me and Frodo. Tiny kid sized cones. The person who took the order probably thought she was nuts “Can I have two small kid sized cones, filled only half- way with ice cream?” The person who took the order said “sure,”. but with that weird tone that indicates a human is agreeing but questioning at the same time. We pulled up to the window and Velcro dog barked at the person handing my human the stash. My human paid and pulled into a parking spot. At this point, Frodo and I figured that something was about to happen. My human who wanted to get a photo of the event, turned around and leaned on the car horn and nearly scared herself to death. Frodo and I immediately ripped into those cones. We were ice cream piranhas. All the time while my human was holding the cones in one hand and her cell phone in the other – she was trying to get a photo. We started licking and then Frodo realized the cone was edible – so he ripped the top off, ice cream and cone. My human, in her contorted struggle to give us the cones and stay off the horn, tried desperately to keep things “neat.” Seriously. At this point Frodo was ripping into cone and ice cream and the stuff was flying everywhere. So much for his freshly groomed coat. All while I was patiently licking my ice cream. Go figure – me the calm one!

My human also did not want us to eat the paper that is around the base of the cone. So she was struggling to take the cones back while we were trying to get at them. If anyone was watching this mayhem, I am SURE they got a good laugh. My human somehow managed to get the paper off Frodo’s cone and he ate it. At this point she was covered in ice cream on her hands and arms, the car had drips everywhere, and she realized she had to throw out the paper. She got out of the car, and smartly took her own milkshake with her as the ice cream piranhas would have finished that off too. She fed me the base of my cone through the open rear window, threw out the paper from the cones and composed herself to get back in the vehicle.

So we drove home, hoping to stop at another ice cream store. When we got home, my human sat down on the couch, and promptly fell asleep. For about two hours. The woman has no stamina – seriously – it was US doing all the work in class. WE were the ones training her. I have no idea why she was so exhausted – must have been the drive.

Anyway, I can’t wait for our next lesson. AND the stop for ice cream on the way home.

Frogs and Vets…

April 30, 2016Leave a Comment

April 30. The last day of April. And today is Save the Frogs Day. A day to recognize and appreciate hoppy amphibians. Here in Nova Scotia, the peepers have arrived. Peepers are tiny little frogs whose chirping heralds the arrival of spring. They sound a bit like crickets. They are a welcome sound at this time of year.

Today is also World Veterinary Day. A day to celebrate the veterinary profession. So I pulled out our trusty Merck Veterinary manual (because yes, we DO have one) and also looked on-line found some veterinary terms to quiz you on. So let’s go – try and match these terms and definitions!

1. A disorder in which animals bite the fur of subordinate animals a. steroid

as a method of establishing dominance.(and WHO would that be?!) b. orchidectomy

2. A medical condition in which bone and bone marrow becomes inflamed c. breathy

3. The process of delivering canine young; the birthing of canines (puppies!!) d. encephalopathy

4. The return of food into the oral cavity after it has been swallowed (a technical

word for puke) e. allergy

5. The removal of the testes through surgical means (ouch) f. barbering

6. A condition in which the body reacts to a particular item or product; may also g. regurgitation

be referred to as hypersensitivity. h. aural

7. A disease of the brain of any type i. headstrong

8. The term for a disease of the skin caused by certain mites j. osteomyelitis

9. The term for a type of medication that impacts immunity, metabolism, sexual k. mange

characteristics, and other such elements of a living thing l. whelping

10. Referring to the ear. m. gastropexy

11. The term for an animal with stubborn tendencies (aka Viktorism) n. anticonvulsant

12. Turning in of the eyelids o. entropion

13. The fixation of the stomach to the wall of the abdomen through surgery

14. Term used to refer to any substance or drug that stops seizures.

15. A term used to describe any animal that can pass through a fence (like Frodo – who knew this was a term?)

OK. Some of those were challenging. Here are your answers:

1. f

2. j

3. l

4. g

5. b

6. e

7. d

8. k

9. a

10. h

11. i

12. o

13. m

14. n

15. c

So how did you do? Ready to apply to Veterinary School? I must confess – when I looked some of them

up – I was QUITE shocked! I mean WHO KNEW that my hair styling on Frodo had a name?! And

orchidectomy? I thought it had to do with throwing out exotic flowers when they died!

Anyway, we love our Veterinarians – and all of the staff at our clinic. Dr. Eric and all the Vets are super

nice…and they were especially wonderful to my human…and Paxton…in the past few weeks…We thank

everyone at the clinic for their kindness and support. They often have a very tough job…

So think of your Veterinary clinic staff today. And maybe hop on down and say thanks!

Have a good one.

Paw-ternity leave.

April 29, 2016Leave a Comment

So my human heard this interesting story on the radio on her way in to work the other day. Velcro dog and I heard it too – we were listening at home. It seems that a few companies in the UK have started a new practice – they provide “paw-ternity” leave to new pet owners. It allows new pet owners anywhere from 10 hours up to 3 weeks to help a new pet settle in at home. So far it looks like all the companies who provide this paid time off are businesses in the pet industry.

In the US, not everyone even gets human maternity leave – so this pet leave idea may be hard to argue. In Canada, the benefits for humans seem to be better – so I think I need to start the paw-ternity campaign here. Especially when I get my new puppy. Whenever and whatever that may be. There have been LOADS of suggestions for my new puppy. My human is afraid that if any breeder of ANY dogs, reads my blog, we will never get a puppy. She said I had better start behaving – a lot of breeders would think our home is too crazy. I think that’s nonsense – I would be an excellent big brother to a puppy. OK. Maybe Frodo would be excellent. I would be an entertaining, adventurous big brother. Now I’m not so sure any CAT breeder would place a kitten here though… with good reason…And bunny breeders….fat chance on that one. Which makes me wonder – is the paw-ternity leave ONLY for dogs? Do cats count? I think they should. But I’m not so sure about pet lizards. Or pet tarantulas. Or fish… I’ll have to figure out the rules for this leave thing. But if we exclude certain pets, is that being prejudiced? Oh maybe this is going to be more challenging than I thought…

Anyway – it’s Friday – so two days of freedom with our human.
ALTHOUGH…there IS that obedience lesson…

© Linda Wozniak

Pay it Forward Day!!

April 28, 2016Leave a Comment

April 28. The last Thursday in April. And today is Pay It Forward Day. A day to do some random act of kindness. Like pay for a stranger’s coffee. Donate to a charity. Provide something to a homeless person – whether it’s a bit of change or a sandwich. Drop off some supplies for pets at a shelter. Give a PON a treat for no reason. It’s kind of sad that humans need to be reminded to be nice, but hey, if it works, I say go for it. Remember- your act need not include money – it can be as easy as letting another car in a traffic lane – or saying good day to a stranger. And do you know what? When you do the act, it not only helps others, but you will feel good too! According to the Pay it Forward website, over 75 countries will be taking part – and they are hoping for 10 million acts of kindness.

And what will I do? Hmmmmmm. Maybe I’ll let Velcro dog have a bone. Or I’ll share a treat. Now THAT would REALLY be something. Or I won’t chase the bunny. Nah. Scrap that one.

Anyway – be nice today. Show unconditional love for others. Or at least unconditional like. Basically – act like a dog!

Mundane news: Banana racing, hair "matters" and bunny trading.

April 27, 2016Leave a Comment

Besides wild squirrels, what’s new around here….well first off, with the warmer weather and daybreak getting earlier every day, Velcro dog has decided that our normal walk is JUST not long enough. I think he figures that since my human ONLY needs to take one walk in the morning instead of two now, the one should be longer. So he won’t poop unless it’s an extra long walk. He is basically making her get up earlier and earlier. Wish I had thought of it.

He has also in the past two weeks, started a new routine – the banana race. He has always loved bananas- but now he started this thing where he wolfs down his breakfast- even faster than normal – which is hard to believe is possible- and then he RACES to the cupboard for a banana. Whether my human is there or not. He just races there and stares at the bananas. Now bananas are a good source of Vitamins C and B6 and potassium and other good stuff – but because of the sugar content, some sources say we dogs should only eat them in moderation. Tell that to Velcro dog! One banana is shared between me, Velcro dog and my human. When that one is gone, he still keeps staring. Until my human says “give it up.” His new nickname is KK. Short for King Kong.

The title for best Find-the-Bunny finder is at a tie right now. I think I’m better than KK, but I must admit, he IS getting better. And my human is hiding the bunny in more obscure places. But we find him. Every time. However, I suppose KK IS better at giving the bunny up once he finds him. Me? Not so much. And if my human attempts to trade some treats for the bunny, well she has to throw them at me- I get so excited I nearly take off her fingers.

Rumor has it our obedience lesson is this weekend. Which will of course mean some extra grooming. As if you have to look nice to act nice. Which reminds me of one last thing – and one bit of trouble I was in. Again. My human was scratching Velcro dog’s ears and horrors – she discovered….are you ready…a mat. The word “mat” is like a swear word in this house. So she whisked him into the torture chamber and combed out that horrid mat. She realized it was because yours truly had been doing some hair styling. BUT – what made “matters” worse- Velcro dog had a sore IN his ear too. Yup, I had been licking the inside of his ear in between styling. Velcro dog had some special cream put on his ear and yours truly got “the face” again. Do you THINK I can go for 48 hours without getting in SOME trouble?! Nah.

Anyway, that’s our mundane news from here. Hope YOUR day is anything BUT mundane!

A squirrel named Nutso.

April 26, 2016Leave a Comment

Honestly. There is never a dull moment in this house. So. Remember the squirrel-proof bird feeder that is not squirrel proof? Here is a picture of the feeder.

And here we are, looking very somber under the feeder.

In theory, fat squirrels cannot get between the fencing. BUT our squirrels are skinny. So. My human looked out the window the other day and saw the squirrel having a banquet on all the seed she had put in the feeder the day before. She is having to fill the thing every second day. Honestly, there is more bird feed being eaten in this house than dog food. Mind you, if I had MY way that would not be the case. Anyway, my human spotted the squirrel and ran outside to scare him away. For the sake of this story, I’ll call the squirrel Nutso. So Nutso USUALLY jumps down and races away. But not THIS time. He crawled up into the feeder. And went INTO the tube where the food is stored. Who KNEW he could fit up there? So my human shook the feeder. With a stick. And Nutso screamed bloody murder. All while two PONs were watching from in the house. Also screaming bloody murder. But now my human, who 2 minutes earlier was ready to kill Nutso, suddenly had a change of heart. And she felt sorry for him. But she didn’t want to touch the feeder for fear that Nutso would somehow jump out and attack her. I am not joking. So. She got a LONG board, to try and lift the thing on the top where the seed is poured in. All while Nutso screamed. And two PONs screamed. She FINALLY managed to lift the top and jumped back waiting for Nutso to come out. But he didn’t. So she pushed the feeder with the board. While Nutso screamed. And two PONs screamed. I SUPPOSE Nutso would have figured out how to climb out – but by now my human was fearing she had traumatized him. I am not joking. So NOW, she took the long board, and lifted the feeder off the branch and onto the ground. And she TIPPED the feeder. At which point Nutso jumped out and RACED off into the woods. Faster than the bunny. While we watched in amazement. My human REFILLED the feeder and came in the house. All happy that she had saved a squirrel that is driving her crazy.

And you WONDER why I am the way I am? Humans. What else can I say? Oh. Yes. And guess who was back emptying the feeder – the VERY next day?! And my human says I am food driven. I think I have met my match!

A colorful subject.

April 25, 2016Leave a Comment

April 25. National Crayola Day. Yup. A day to celebrate crayons. Last year it was on a different day – I guess it’s a floating holiday. Anyway, last year I took crayon colors, and suggested some that could make good names for dogs. Knowing how you humans agonize over dog names, I thought I could help out. AND I’m thinking of names for my new puppy. Can you tell I am not going to give up on this idea? Clearly I am not one to take no for an answer.

Just like last year, I’ll list the colors as “boy names” or “girl names” or gender neutral names. I realize I SHOULDN’T label names as male or female, but remember, I’m a dog – so political correctness is not my forte? If you want to see my choices for last year, the date was March 30- they are different from this year.

So here we go:

Girl names:

Sienna

Peach

Celestial Blue (Celeste for short!)

Madder (or Maddie)

Maize

Blue bell

Razzle Dazzle Rose (Razzie or Dazzie or Rose)

Misty Moss (Misty)

Pixie Powder (Pixie)

Boy names:

Laser Lemon (Laser for short)

Rust (Rusty)

Brass

Cosmic Cobalt (Cosmo for short)

Gender neutral names:

Chrome

Indigo (Indie for short)

Granite Gray (Either Granite or Gray are cool)

Smokey Topaz (either Smokey or Topaz)

Lumber (I’m thinking this would be good for a Bassett Hound!)

Onyx

Lemon Lime Zing (I like Zing – or Zinger)

Midnight

Sonic Silver (Sonic is very cool)

Sahara Dessert (Sahara)

Magic Potion (Magic OR Potion- although Potion is a bit weird)

I have tried to stick to the one or two syllable “rule” again – except for Sahara. As we know, three syllables or more are hard to call when we are running off into the woods. That’s why my human wouldn’t allow me to change my name to Balthazar.

My two favorite crayon names are Twister (from last year) and I like Sonic too. Can you believe Crayola once made colors called “Pet Shop” and “Wash the Dog?” They were brown and yellow. No further comment is needed.

So that’s it for today. I hope you have a colorful day!