Blog Feed

So we know that I am OBSESSED with retrieving.  Balls, bumpers – anything that can be thrown.  I STARE at the garage door.  That’s where all the toys are.  And of course the dog food as well.  But if truth be known, I would probably pick a toy over food.  And we KNOW how much I love my food.  But I am absolutely CRAZY when it comes to retrieving.  Velcro dog likes to retrieve too – but he would definitely pick food first.  No question.

But the question – what would I pick if given the choice between retrieving and chasing a bunny….

The other night, my human took us out in the yard to do some retrieving.  I was madly jumping around her and barking as we went in the backyard to play.  I could not WAIT to start.  And as we came around the corner of the house, WHAT did we see but a BUNNY!  There he was.  On OUR lawn. Well, that was it – Velcro dog and I BOTH ran after him.   But of course Velcro dog didn’t want to crash through the woods, so he stopped.  But not me. I was barking like crazy, and running through the woods and my human figured that would be the END of the retrieving game.  She didn’t know when I would return.  BUT, miracle of miracles, I came RIGHT back.  I mean I was ready to start the retrieving game within 30 seconds.  I let Mr. Bunny go off on his terrified not-so-merry way.  Had I known that the game was only going to last 10 minutes because my human was being eaten alive by the dreaded black flies who have made their unwelcome spring appearance, I might have kept chasing the bunny.  But I guess the point is – I DID choose the ball over the bunny.

So ball wins over food.  Ball wins over bunny.  FINALLY my human has figured out that if she wants me to behave, all she has to do is carry the ball with her.  All the time.  24 hours a day.  Let’s see if I can train her to do that…

©  Linda Wozniak

So we are renaming one of the rooms in the house.  Some humans call it the bathroom, or the washroom, or the restroom or the loo!  I am renaming it the “chaos” room.  And not because chaos happens IN the room – but because it happens OUTSIDE the room when humans are in there.  At least in our house.

You see, when my human goes in there, to use the toilet (sorry for being blunt, but if you can talk about our daily peeing and pooping I think it’s only fair to address human behavior), or to shower or to wash her hands, we find that it is THE perfect opportunity to DO something undesirable.  Chaos.  And we simply do it so our human will come out.  Faster.

For example,  when my human is in the chaos room:  

• It is the PERFECT time to lick and style Frodo’s hair.  And I will do it right outside the chaos room door – so my human can be sure to hear me.  She cannot STAND when I do that so she must come out to stop me.
• Or – I will go in her walk-in closet.  The door doesn’t quite latch – and it creaks when it opens.  We are not supposed to go in the closet as it holds a treasure trove of items…shoes, slippers, purses and assorted other things that don’t fit in dresser drawers. Almost EVERY time my human is in the chaos room, I try to wander into the mystery closet.  And my human HEARS me go in, because of the creaky door.  At which point she shouts “Viktor get out of there.”  She doesn’t even need to see who it is.  She knows the “good dog” wouldn’t wander in.
• It is also great fun to simply start barking when she is in the chaos room. For no reason.  It makes our human WONDER if someone is at the door.  The good dog is great at this.

And speaking of the good dog, he DID demonstrate some chaos the other night. Earlier in the evening we were playing with one of those incredibly expensive dog board games.  The ones my human…er…Santa brought for Christmas two years ago.   Dogs are supposed to figure out how to open little drawers to get  a treat.  We were playing – and I FINALLY figured out the two step version – you have to pull out a peg which THEN opens the treat drawer.  And of course you have to select the right drawer.  Frodo just scratches uncontrollably at the whole game board.  My human can’t leave the pegs in for him – he has no patience.  Anyway, I was wonderful the other night.  I played great.  And after we were done, my human put the game with the other boring…er…exciting games on a side table in the bedroom.  

So as my human was getting ready for bed, and she was in the chaos room brushing her teeth, she heard a loud crash in the bedroom.  She rushed out to see what the commotion was.  The “good dog” THOUGHT there MIGHT be treats left over in the game board, so he pulled it and all the games came crashing down.  Score one for Velcro dog.

So I think we have been successful in renaming most of the rooms in the house:  the living room or Dog Free Zone is now known as the Dog Comfort Zone, the kitchen is the Canine Buffet, the garage or grooming room is called the Torture chamber and the bathroom is the Chaos room.  

And who says humans are in charge?

Have a good one.  I know I will!   It’s Friday!

©  Linda Wozniak

So my human has decided that there is no point in getting sheep to graze our property.   Or goats.   Not that I could ever REALLY convince her to get them.  We are quite enough work.  Two PONs and my puppy.  Whoever he will be.  Can you tell I am not giving up on this puppy idea?  Anyway, back to the sheep.  The reason we don’t need grazing animals is because we have two.  Me.  And Velcro dog.  What is it with us and fresh green grass growing down near the lake?   I think we got the idea from Paxton.  He used to gorge himself on the tall grass by the water.  And now Frodo and I are at it.  Big time.  We never attempt to eat the grass on the lawn.  JUST the wild grass by the lake.  Here’s a shot of the two of us having some salad before dinner.  

My human calls us and calls us, and she finally just continues on the trail back to the house.  We wolf down (or should I say we sheep down) several mouthfuls and race back along the trail – to get our next course in the meal.  

Don’t you just LOVE spring?!

 ©  Linda Wozniak

OK.  So in her desperate quest to keep us flea and tick-free without the use of chemicals, my human has made us human-free. Well not really human-free – but just a bit unappealing to humans.  Our breath stinks.  And why?  She started us on these dog garlic tablets that are supposed to repel ticks and fleas. No wonder.  They would repel just about any living organism, except perhaps a skunk.  We just started them recently so we’ll let you know if they actually work on the insects.  Especially the dreaded ticks.  So far so good – but the season is early. 

This is a shout out to all you canines who think that humans are not trainable.  I present my evidence that with careful planning, and consistence, you CAN train a human.

Case in point.  When I started my blog, I wrote about the DFZ (Dog Free Zone).  The ONE room in the house that is “technically” off limits to us canines.  It houses the “good” furniture and an assortment of antique rugs.  And other old, non-chewable items.  A dog gate rests against the entry and it is sometimes secured with bungee cords.  Now here comes my technique to train humans to allow you access into dog-free zones.  If you persist at bugging your human while she is in the DFZ – by pacing around other rooms, attempting to knock down the gate – or simply by incessantly squeaking, she will eventually let you in.  This is perfect.  She has now let down her guard.  This is your first step in training. Take advantage of this situation – and BEHAVE.  No roughhousing and NO attempting to get on the furniture.  For now.  And eventually, after that, she will let down her guard even MORE and not ONLY will you be carelessly waltzing in to the DFZ- but you will find that the dog-free furniture is VERY comfy.  As you see in my photo.

With persistence, you can teach your human OTHER things as well. Humans set up “rules” BUT by using a sad face, and simply DOING the canine-desired behavior when the human is not present,  your training will usually work.  Remember the “rule” about “no dogs” on the bed?  Here is the evidence that we have not only been able to train her to allow us on the bed – but this is doubly remarkable – as you will see -Frodo is on the bed and is WET too.  After a walk.  In the rain.  And we have trained our human not to react to this behavior.  A simple throwing up of her hands and shaking her head is a perfect response. We have trained her well – although it HAS taken repeated attempts and trials.  And now, she is a pleasure to live with.

Well it appears that SOMEONE in this house is going on a diet.  My human thinks that Velcro dog could take off a pound or two.  NOT that he is obese – by any means – but she noted while lifting him into the tub the other day, that he seemed to be a BIT heavier than normal. And I think we know why.  As you may recall, during the last week or so that Paxton was sick, he didn’t have much of an appetite.  So my human was trying EVERYTHING and ANYTHING to get him to eat.  Our kitchen counter looked like a cross between a kitchen in a HUGE restaurant and a science lab – with a VARIETY of food items and supplements.  Not to mention that delicacy – the canned tripe.

Unfortunately, despite her best canine culinary skills, Paxton often refused her efforts.  So.  What to do with the leftovers?  Quite a bit was thrown out.  BUT – we PONs sometimes got a sample of the finished products.  I think that my metabolism must be higher than Frodo’s – because I didn’t gain weight – but he appears to be sporting just a BIT extra weight.  Kind of like my human – she’s still paying for the Halloween leftovers…But don’t say I mentioned it.

So how to get the weight off Velcro dog?  I think my human will try her old method – that worked brilliantly when she got her very first Bernese – and had to help him take off extra pounds.  Canned pumpkin.  NOT the pumpkin pie filling stuff.  Just PLAIN canned pumpkin.   By adding a few tablespoons to Frodo’s food, and reducing his other calories JUST a bit, he will still feel full but it will help to get that weight down.  Better him than me.

Well it’s Monday.  The start of a new week – and all new adventures.   And I hope yours is brilliant! And you don’t need to add pumpkin to your food.  Have a great one!

©  Linda Wozniak

May 8.  Today is a very special day in more than 75 countries around the world.  It is Mother’s Day.  A day to celebrate mothers and motherhood. 

Frodo and I have the same mother (and father too!).  Here’s a picture of our mother – doesn’t Frodo look like her?!

In Frodo’s treasury (remember I don’t like using the word “litter” to describe a bunch of puppies.  We are NOT garbage!  I prefer a treasury of puppies.) – there were 6 puppies.  Here they are at about 2 weeks old:

And in MY treasury….drum roll…there were 10 puppies!  CAN YOU IMAGINE 10 PON PUPPIES?! Imagine the stampede to get to the milk bar all the time.  My poor mother.  Here we are at 2 weeks:

Mother dogs usually look after us puppies VERY closely the first few weeks.  I bet MY mother was VERY anxious for us puppies to be eating solid food.  And when we do that, we become more independent.  Unlike humans. Some of them NEVER become independent!  My human STILL depends on her 87 year old mother! Her mother is a special lady and as we know, I’m her favorite grand dog.  Or I like to think I am.

Today is a day to pamper moms and to think of those moms who may no longer be with us.  If it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t be here!  And all you dogs – don’t forget to give your “human mom” a big lick today too.

So Happy Mother’s Day to all moms – whether you are celebrating in your country today, or if you celebrate at another time. Thanks for ALL you do!

©  Linda Wozniak

 So my human finds it fascinating how much we dogs learn from one another.  She was thinking about this a LOT in the past week, as we have been having a LOT of rain.  You see, when I was in my younger years (like when I was a year old), I didn’t care at ALL about the rain.  Paxton didn’t either – so I followed his lead.  But over the last two or so years, I have REALLY started to follow Frodo’s lead.  Case in point…it was raining yesterday morning at 5AM when my human took us out for our morning walk.  Once upon a time, I would not have cared about the weather.  At all.  Frodo, on the other hand, as we know, despises the rain.  And now I have decided to TOTALLY follow HIS lead.  I mean TOTALLY.  My human found herself walking down a dark road, in the rain, with TWO shaggy canines towing WELL behind her.  It was like walking TWO forty lb bags of potatoes.  She actually had to laugh at one point – the sight is SO pitiful.  Someone should video the death march.  

And then when she gets home from work, and we run down our trail to the lake, if there are ANY puddles, we BOTH plot our route so to avoid them.  Frodo started this circuitous water hopping – and now I do it too!

I have also started to run and hide if I think that I am about to be groomed.  Now I NEVER used to avoid grooming – I mean all you have to do is lie there and you get treats – it’s a pretty easy job.  But Mr. Grooming Drama King has taught me well – so now I hide when it’s my turn.

My human is praying that I don’t start Frodo’s incessant morning singing routine.  Or his less-than-hospitable barking when he sees a neighbor.  She WOULD like me to follow some of his obedience heel work, but she figures that is not likely.  He’s too slow for me.  And it is unlikely he will EVER follow ME in my bunny chasing routine – it would mean getting dirty and wet in the woods.  

So you humans – remember we dogs are NOT monkeys but we DO follow the adage – Monkey see, monkey do. And although we DO have our OWN personalities, we DO learn from one another.    Just IMAGINE what a new puppy would learn from me… It’s actually a bit scary, isn’t it?  But no – my human hasn’t even decided on a puppy yet – but when we DO get one – just THINK – it will be a CLONE of me- behavior-wise!!!  

Now.  I just need to get my human moving on this puppy thing…And I wonder if the puppy will have his own blog…

©  Linda Wozniak