OK. So I generally do not repeat my blog postings.  But I did this post last year – and I think it bears repeating.   Probably because it took my human and I SO long to write it.  The poem, also known as The Night Before Christmas was written by Clement Moore.   I took Clement’s version – and modified it.  And I updated it for this year.  This goes out to all those canines and their humans who read my blog – and my apologies in advance for the many names I am missing!!!!!  My human poured over Facebook pages trying to find names and I KNOW there are others who read my blog who I undoubtedly missed-  please know that I appreciate each and every one of you.  In some cases, some of the dogs may no longer be with us – but they are still in our hearts – so they remain in the poem.  I also appreciate those humans who aren’t currently owned by dogs – who read my blog!  If you ever feel the need for a dog fix, I am available for rental.

I hope you will enjoy it – even though it is the second time around!

OK this recall thing is really getting to be a bit much.  If you think you are tired of hearing about it, imagine how tired Einstein and I are when she keeps testing US every chance she gets.  Like yesterday morning.  She took us on our trail to the lake and let us run ahead.  Then she would call us.  She did it several times.  It got to the point that we didn’t even want to go far ahead because we KNEW she would call us.  On this test I must confess, I WAS a bit slow…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6fYNNw0Xi0

As usual, Einstein did it perfectly.  Show off.

The Christmas preparations are in full swing and the countdown is ON.  My human and her sister baked cookies – most of which have already been eaten.  I kid you  not.  Gone.  And let’s just say it wasn’t us DOGS eating them.  I can hear the moaning and groaning already after the holidays.  My human is stills sporting extra lbs. from Halloween candy – from 2016.

She bought a turkey big enough to feed a small army – probably because all the normal sized turkeys were already sold.  I’m pretty sure the thing weighs more than me.  The house is fully decorated.  There is one major thing yet to be done.  The annual Christmas bath.  For us dogs.  Not my human.  I’m sure she has had several since last Christmas.  Mind you -so have we.  What it is with this “being clean for the holidays.”  You put up with our raggedy stinky selves all year – what’s with need to impress Santa.  I mean “he sees us when we’re sleeping, he’s knows when we’re dirty.”  Isn’t that how the song goes?  We’re taking bets as to who goes first.   I’m betting the FG.  He’s the easiest and fastest.  He stands like a statue while he is being dried off – with the wind blowing his hair like he is in some kind of shampoo commercial.  And when he is done – he looks exactly the same.  Waste of time if you ask me.  Mind you, I vote we start with him, on the off chance that my human gets busy and she doesn’t have time to do us PONs.  Fat chance.  She would stay up until 3 AM.  It’s been done before…

Well she is off to work today and tomorrow and then rumor has it, she may be DONE until after New Years!  Don’t I love the holidays.  Actually, it makes the bath worth it! Almost…

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

And so it begins.  My human is determined to get a more reliable recall with the FG.  Actually ANY kind of recall at this point.  So she went out in search of two things and arrived home yesterday with her new training tools.  A shock collar and cattle prod.  JUST KIDDING!!!!  JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!  No – she arrived home with a whistle and a fabulous new tug toy. You see, someone suggested training him to recall to a whistle – and since he doesn’t respond to his name, “come” or “here” she figured that a whistle would be a new fresh option.  Now I’m SURE we have a whistle somewhere in this house, but of course, she couldn’t find it so it was off to the whistle store to get a new one.

Now when she read about training to a whistle, it was suggested that the whistle be paired with food – like when giving him a meal.  They suggested putting his food dish down, holding his collar, blowing the whistle and then letting go.  So the dog learns to associate the whistle with something he likes.  Then when he hears the whistle, he will learn to come.  Seems reasonable.  Except one can never tell with the FG if he even wants his food bowl.  Unlike us PONs who essentially jump into our bowls ANY time, the FG is 50-50.  Some days he eats his whole bowl.  Some days he walks around looking at it sizing it up.  Some days he just lies down and starts chewing a bone.  Food is NOT a high drive item for him.  BUT – he does like to tug.  And chase.  So my human figured a great new tug toy would serve as the motivator.

So she got home and sequestered Einstein and I because there was no way she could train the FG if we were hanging around.  She took him downstairs to the rec room to work with him on his own.  She showed him the new toy and began to tug with him.  He was having a GRAND time.  And when she tells him to release – he does.  So then she held the toy in front of him, blew the whistle and waited for him to lunge forward and grab it.  At first he just sat and stared at it.  She waited and he eventually grabbed it.  And after a few tries, he was starting to get faster.  BINGO. This was just what she wanted.  So they tugged and played for just a few minutes.  One thing my human knows is that the FG has the attention span of a gnat.  So you have to work within that span and if you go PAST it – that’s when you lose him.  So they ended on a good note and stopped – and he WAS still interested in the toy.  Which is perfect.  While he was training, Einstein and I were barking and moaning.  So then we got a turn.  Of course, the very first time my human made Einstein wait and then she blew the whistle, he immediately grabbed the toy.  Now keep in mind that Einstein had not SEEN how the game is played.  He figured it out automatically.  That’s why we call him Einstein.  My human did a bit of obedience work with him and although he hasn’t done any REAL training in months – he knows just what to do.  They really should get back into competition next year…

Then is was my turn.  I tend to be over the top at the best of times, so my human figured a whistle was not REALLY all that necessary.  And tugging with me is also NOT a great idea – as I don’t like to let go.  So retrieving and trading for a treat is much more “my thing.” So I got to retrieve the new tug toy.  Which I usually brought back.  If there was a treat…

We’ll see how this whole whistle thing goes.  In THEORY it should work with a LOT of practice.  A LOT of practice.  Like maybe by the time the FG is 10, he might have it down.

Plus my human should put a whistle on her list for Santa.  Heaven knows she will lose the thing within 48 hours.  I forgot to mention that she went and bought this fancy whistle – and it really didn’t work all that well -it was a pretty weak sounding thing.  I mean it was a whistle sound, but not a strong whistle sound.  She obviously didn’t read the instructions.  And then, thankfully, she found this helpful video. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-WnVriVP7s
Seriously.  Who do you know who can’t use a whistle correctly?  Yup.  My human.  That’s what 6 years in university will do for you.  She was using it wrong.  Good thing we love her. 

Anyway, we should probably buy a few dozen whistles- one for every coat pocket, and one for every room in the house… I wonder where you can buy whistles in bulk? 

Have a good one. Peace and paws up!

Oh my.  It’s into Boot Camp for the FG. Serious Boot Camp…

Yesterday morning we actually let my human sleep in until 6:15!  Could be because we know she has an  “in” with Santa – so we wanted to get on her good side. Einstein and I went for our walks first and it was getting bright enough that we could go for a walk on the trail.  We had a great time and cut through the golf course on the way home.  It was cold out and snowing lightly – and there was a dusting of snow on the ground.  Then it was the FG’s turn to go out on what I call some would call a suicide mission.  You know how legend has it that a full moon will bring out werewolves ?  Well cold weather and a Picard brings out a Tasmanian Devil.  Although he was wearing his usually controllable trusty Freedom harness, all HE wanted was freedom.  He kept spinning around and attempting to chew through his leash.  I mean he was biting down on that leash so hard so he could be free.  At one point, he and my human were on the golf course and he suddenly bolted to the end of his leash – and she let go in order to stay standing.  He immediately grabbed hold of the handle on the leash– and he was gone.  He ran like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah.  Mind you – a slow cheetah.  He actually stopped  to sniff something as my human approached and she jumped on the leash.  Busted. He immediately went into bucking bronco Tasmanian Devil routine.  She calmly waited for him to end his temper tantrum before they moved on.  It was a slow walk home.

After breakfast, my human decided to take each one of us, one at a time, down along our looped trail to the lake.  I got to go first, otherwise I would have been  screaming my lungs out. I knew she had very tasty treats in her pockets – so I never strayed once.  I ran along, got treats, posed for some photos, got treats – and had a lovely walk.  When we got back to the house we even played fetch for a while before my time was up.  Then it was the FG’s turn.  Now keep in mind that he has not been off leash in ages. Add to that the cold weather.  My human put on his long line, and opened the front door, thinking he would go after the fetch toys that were sitting outside.  Nope.  Like a rocket leaving a launch pad – he was gone.  He bolted for the trail.  With my human in hot pursuit.  She knew she couldn’t lose him because his long line was leaving a distinct trail behind him in the snow.  He was headed for the lake.  When she got there, she expected to find him wading in the water or at very least drinking it.  Nope – no sign of him.  She looked up the other part of the trail and saw his leash marks in the snow.  Up the trail she ran.  As she approached the house, she heard him in the bushes – and caught a glimpse of him – heading for the trail.  Again.  She took off after him and saw him for an instant as he dashed back down toward the lake.  And again, he was not there when she got there.  So she followed the second set of leash marks back up to the house.  She went around the house – and now saw that he was headed to the neighbor’s place.  She ran there and saw him.  He was standing in their driveway, near their house, barking,  at nothing.  She cautiously approached.  And of course, as soon as she got within 5 feet of the end of the last long line, he bolted.  He figured he was already in hot water – so why not make the most of his escape?  He headed to the next neighbor’s place.  My human again got within 5 feet and he was off.  This time he headed up their driveway, went a shot distance on the road and headed down the driveway of another neighbor.  And then my human heard more barking.  This neighbor is VERY nice, but generally stays clear of us dogs – my human thinks he may be nervous around dogs.  She looked down the driveway and there was the FG, doing a play bow and trying to get the nervous neighbor to play.  She shouted to him that if he could grab the end of the leash, it would be a great help.  The neighbor stood there frozen.  Who could blame him.  Here was the wolf-like crazy creature barking at him and his crazed owner running down the driveway.  I would be frozen too.  Anyway, my human got close and practically fell on the leash.  Busted! She apologized to the neighbor, who apparently just seemed relieved that the wild beast was caught.  She then proceeded to drag the FG home without saying a word.  She didn’t want to appear angry as he would then never want to come back when he has a running streak so she held in her fury.  She got him home, and collapsed on the sofa.
My human realizes, though that while this story IS somewhat amusing, she really cannot trust the FG off leash.  At all.  So they need some serious work on his recall. This story ended fine – but it really could have ended differently – and she realizes she would have no one else to blame.  So it’s recall Boot Camp for the FG.  It won’t be easy – but if she makes it fun, she is hopeful that they CAN make his recall at least somewhat better!!!  Come to think of it- we probably ALL could use some Boot Camp training.

I’m thinking the FG is going to really need to do some serious begging in his letter to Santa.  You know, it’s kind of nice to pass the bad dog title on to someone else these days.  Good thing he’s cute…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up!

Sent from my iPad

Dear Santa.

So I have covered my list of accomplishments for the past year, but to be fair, I feel I must employ full disclosure and discuss a few indiscretions as well.  Bottom line, I know that you “see me while I’m sleeping and you know when I’m awake” so to pretend that these things never happened would be silly – since you know them already.  But I will review them anyway.

1.  I STILL obsessivley sit by the garage door – in the hopes that it will magically open, providing me with access to the food bins. I know the bins are out of reach – but I can still keep jumping at them on the odd chance that I could make the bins topple to the floor.  I also have bolted through the door when instructed not to – again in the chance that I could get some free grub.  Let’s face it.  I’m a PON.  And I’m always hungry. Perhaps I should just have my very own 40 lb bag of food to eat whenever I want.  Then again, that might not be the best solution as I would no doubt go through the whole thing in 5 minutes and still want more.  I guess I just need to control my cravings.  Maybe next year…

2.  While my counter surfing WAS better, my pillowcase eating habit was actually worse.  My human does not own an intact pair of pillowcases.  All have been chewed.  Every.  Single.  One.  I cannot be left alone in the bedroom – in the morning while she goes to get dressed.  I find pillowcases delectable.  Or just plain fun to shred.  Sorry about that…  I think she might have pillowcases on HER wish list.  

3.  I peed on the barbeque.  More than once.  Not while it was being used, of course, but basically ANY time I went out on the deck.  And I don’t mean to be a tattletale – but the FG and Einstein did too.  So I was just following their lead.   Althoug I occasionally DID go first… 

4.  I tried to kill the bunny.  Not the real one.  The stuffed one. The one that we play Find the Bunny with.  I am awesome at finding him….but then I don’t like to give him up – and left to my own devices would either decapitate him or make him an amputee.  Sorry about that…

5.  I don’t share food from my food bowl.  Not that the others are ever trying to steal food – as they are usually busy chomping down their own food.  But IF I ever had any left, I wouldn’t share.  My human can certainly take food from me – but not the other boys.  I want to say I’ll do better next year – but as we have already discussed – food to a PON is like a flower to a bee.  We belong together…

So Santa, I hope you won’t hold these infractions against me.  As I demonstrated in Part 1 of this letter, I have also done some good things.  Surely you will see that they outweigh the small issues listed here.

But we do need to talk about the “ask….”

To be continued…

Have a good one.  Peace andpaws up!

So the night before last, my human decided we needed to play a game.  Probably because we wouldn’t leave her alone, and she wasn’t going to get anything done anyway – so why not play a game?  We haven’t played this in awhile.  It’s another search game – but without the bunny.  Here’s the game:  my human makes one of us sit facing a wall, while she goes and hides treats around the room/rooms.  The other two dogs are sequesterd in the hallway and are able to watch the proceedings until it is our turn.  While we are not SUPPOSED to watch where she hides the treats, let’s face it – all of us turn our heads to see where she is putting them.  But we must stay sitting until she gives us the release to go and find the treats.  And like everything in this house – there are distinct styles demonstrated in playing the game…

PON style.  Run as QUICKLY as possible to seek out the treats.  Use your nose a bit, but go SO quickly and in such a tizzy that you sometimes run right over the treats.   Go in circles.  Race around the room.  Race around again – hopefully finding treats on the send swoop.  Keep going until you are huffing and puffing – and often at LEAST one treat is not found because you have been so crazed.  Here is the accompanying internal monologue :  “Where is it?  Where is it?  I MUST find it.  I MUST find it?  Did I look here?  What about here?  Wait is that one there?  I MUST find it.   Oh I hope my time is not running out.  Wait there is no timer.  But I must go faster.  And faster.  Wait I just stepped on one.  Wait what do you mean I’m done?  What do you mean it’s someone else’s turn?”

Picard style.   Now we have S-L-O-W motion…. And here is THIS monologue:  “Hmmmm.  Now what is it I am supposed to do?  Oh yeah.  Find the treats.  Well…let’s walk over here.  Well golly, I found one.  And by jove, another one.  Hey, look at that nativity set.  I never noticed that.  Cool.  Hmmm.. Oh yeah.  The game.  Oops – I see one.  Maybe if I use my nose.  Yup.  Another one.  Well look at those ornaments.  Aren’t they nice?  Pretty colors.  Why are those PONs screaming?  Oh yeah – I’m supposed to be playing the game.  Watch this.  Here is one.  And another one.  And one more.  And just LOOK at my reflection in the glass door.  I sure am handsome.  Oh and there’s a treat.  And one more.  All found.  Now.  What are we doing next?”

Never a dull moment.  Ever.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

Dear Santa.

Well it’s that time of year when all good dogs put in their requests for Christmas gifts.  I realize I do not EXACTLY fit the category of “good” dogs – but I did TRY to behave more this year.  TRY being the operative word.

In order to submit my “ask” I feel I need to demonstrate why I am deserving of gifts.  The following is my list of accomplishments this year…. 

1.  I accepted that fact that I am no longer the baby in the household, and I started to like the FG.  Not that I went so far as to PLAY with him – but I no longer avoided him.  I will stay right next to him and chew on a bone, we will sleep within close proximity of each other and I don’t grumble when he comes over while I am being petted by my human.  I think I deserve extra gifts just for this exemplary behavior alone.    

2.  I did not steal as many things off the counter this year.  OK.  My human didn’t LEAVE anything I could get.  But still – I was generally good when it came to surfing.  Except for that oven mitt…

3.  I did not run off as much this year.  And we will not consider the fact that our decreasing bunny population, had anything to do with it.  

4.  I took all my medications willingly and quickly.  Mind you, they are hidden in food, so that’s not REALLY an issue.  Ever.  But it COULD be….

5.  I did not moan and groan while being groomed.  Like Einstein does.  I am very groomable.  In fact, it really is my forte’.  Yes – I do complain in my blog about grooming – but once on that table, I am the picture of groomability.  Seriously.

6.  I continued to write my blog EVERY day.  Some days I was funnier than other days and some days – well I think I was downright boring.  But still – I DID it. 

So that’s my list of attributes.  But since I should employ full disclosure…  I will also discuss a few indiscretions this year….

To be continued

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up. 

So my human entered this draw being sponsored by one of the local dog clubs.  The winner will get NUMEROUS (and I mean NUMEROUS) bottles of wine.  It’s kind of an elimination thing.  They keep drawing names out of the hat, and eventually the last people left win the wine.  My human has been in it for weeks – and has been watching the draw daily in hopes that she would win.  Heaven knows she NEEDS wine living with the three of us.  But alas, her name was down to the final 12 and out it came yesterday.  You can send messages to cheer her up – or just send wine….

But with the typical ups and downs of life – she DID actually win something the other day.  She went to a local book store and somehow won a $250 gift card.  I wanted to know if they sold dog biscuits at the store too.  But it doesn’t seem like it.  And I’m not sure we NEED another dog book.  Clearly she hasn’t read all the TRAINING books she already owns.  But they do look nice on the shelf.  Humans.

My human did manage to finally get the elusive Christmas photo of the three of us.  Yup.  It’s DONE.  I think it looks a LOT like the photo from last year – but she insists it is different enough.  Besides, I think her capacity for taking Christmas photos is almost at quota.  Note my shepherd photo.  Personally, I think I look rather dashing.

Anyway she says she is done with our photos…although, we haven’t had SNOW yet – for the outdoor wintery photo shoot.    Lots of rain, but no snow to actually accumulate.  Or require plowing.  My human FINALLY bought some of those things you put alongside your driveway so the plow guy knows where to go.  Last year she bought them at the dreaded Dollar store and not a SINGLE one survived the season.  They were bent and broken and totally shot.  This time she bought more “substantial” markers.  When the FG spotted them, he at first did a BOOF, but then went quickly to inspect them.  Einstein and I just went right over and peed on them.

Well it is hump day – half the week will be over.   Have to start planning for our weekend.  We never want my human to be bored.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.

OK.  This is my last warning.  All of you humans using the name Bella as your internet password – CHANGE IT.  You are not going to believe what THE most popular dog name is in Australia.  I am NOT kidding.  It’s Bella.  So that’s the US, the UK and now Australia.  Of all the gazillion dog names – around the WORLD, Bella keeps coming up.  I did not see Viktor, Frodo or Elroy listed in the Australian Top 100 names.  Maybe next year.

In other dogs news – guess what some Shar-Pei in Oklahoma ate?  You’ll never guess – so I’ll tell you.  21 baby pacifiers.  Or soothers as some people call them.  The baby’s parents kept wondering why all the pacifiers kept disappearing…What did they think – the child was eating them?!  The dog apparently did well after surgery, but I’m betting the Vet bill wasn’t all that soothing.  Who’s crying now?

If you are still looking about what to put on Santa’s list – I THINK I have found something.  It’s called the GoBone.  It’s an interactive toy that humans program to entertain their dogs.  Check it out:
https://mygobone.com/?v=3e8d115eb4b3

It APPEARS sturdy – mind you, my human would never leave us alone with anything like this for fear we would – well Einstein would, take it apart.  And then she would be stressing that we ate the batteries.  And I’m a BIT concerned as they DO sell replacement parts…  The toy is NOT cheap – but it doesn’t cost anything to put it on Santa’s list…

If you are a human who likes to bake dog biscuits – here is a site that will make custom dog cookie cutters. 
https://www.etsy.com/shop/namethatcookie
Unfortunately, I don’t see a PON or Picard.  Mind you, we COULD get a cookie cutter shaped like a bone – with our names on them.  AS IF we take time to read the cookies.  Or I wouldn’t eat a cookie that says Frodo.  Still they are cute.  For somebody else….

OK that’s it for today. 

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

So my human went to the Dollar Store yesterday…And she came home with a BIG bag…

As you have already seen, she has dusted off the old antlers and has made each of us pose as if we are having a good time.  Sure.  The treats ARE good.  But doesn’t she have ENOUGH photos of us yet?

Mind you – one of us LOVES the whole photo thing.  Einstein.  I mean he LOVES having his photo taken.  Yesterday when my human took out all the “props,”  she decided to start with him first.  She had set up the grooming table in the garage with a white screen.  Well, Einstein RAN and leaped onto the table.  He is SUCH a ham.  And he will do whatever she asks him to do.  Look up.  Look at me.  Look sad.  Smile.  I kid you not – he does it ALL.  Check out these photos…