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Joyous Wednesday greetings . Frodo here. I must share with you that yesterday, there was much happiness and celebration in our abode. The reason? Her highness was able to return to her hair salon – and get her haircut after months without professional service. We are quite thankful as she was beginning to resemble a very large PON. At least her head was. I don’t believe we ever told you her “story” which she shared with her stylist yesterday.

Because her highness keeps her hair rather short, when it grows even the slightest bit – she “feels” the difference. So she usually has it cut probably once per month. So after 6 weeks into the pandemic and self isolation, she became desperate. The Beatnik and I watched as she rather ceremoniously announced that she had “business” in the garage. The garage is where we are groomed so it seemed fitting that her “business” should take place there as well. We watched as she went in – with OUR dog thinning shears in her hand. Yes- desperate times called for desperate measures so she cut her own hair with our scissors. She was actually proud of her first attempt which didn’t look TOO bad. So in a few weeks, we didn’t think much of it when she went in the grooming torture palace again. But this time, because she was reluctant to chop her hair on the back of her head, she emerged with what I believe was once called a mullet. While it may have been fashionable in the 1970s and 1980s, it wasn’t the picture of style in these modern times.

Now we don’t really care what she looks like. We are used to her giant pandemic clothes and her shaggy mane. But I must say, she did look refreshed when she returned from the salon. So we did the happy dance with her.

It’s Wednesday- and it’s garbage day – so time to get moving on our zig zag walk. But first, we’ll watch her highness step on her scale to see if the numbers have gone down now that she got her haircut. I’m not so sure there will be happy dancing after that. Which honestly is fine by me – it just means we get a longer walk!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Yo readers. Elroy here. Happy Monday and Happy Upsy Daisy Day. Yup- that’s the holiday for today. Apparently this auspicious holiday is more than 10 years old. And the reason or tag line for the holiday is: “A day to remind people to get up gloriously, gratefully and gleefully.” The idea is that at least for this day, you should assume everything is going to go your way. And if it doesn’t- get over it. Attitude and gratitude are key elements to starting your day and to facing challenges.

Holy moly – the world sure can use an Upsy Daisy Day right now. Between a pandemics, crimes, accidents, racial prejudice, murder hornets and rioting, it’s pretty easy to wake up in the morning and say “now what?” Yup- you humans sure do know how to make a mess of things sometimes. While we dogs may not always be well behaved (like when we counter surf or chew carpet corners or pillowcases), we generally do not seek to destroy others. But it seems humans do that – a lot. Yeah – they might not try to destroy others physically- but instead they destroy their spirits or their souls. Some humans can be kinda nasty. In fact, some of them should be wearing muzzles.

Humans need to be more grateful. And more happy! Just think how happy we canines get over a pretty tasteless biscuit or an ordinary ball. And look how much we appreciate our humans and how thrilled we are when we are reunited after they return from the bathroom! We don’t wake up cranky. We wake up wagging. Hey – that’s going to be my new motivational saying – Wake up Wagging. The Boss thinks it’s corny – his motto would be more like Never Stop Joyous Barking. Whatever.

Anyway – I sincerely hope that you have a Happy Upsy Daisy Day. May you be kind and wag lots! We have confidence that you CAN do it.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Salutations readers. Frodo here. Reporting from the Far East – of Canada. But not the farthest. That would be Newfoundland.

Just an observation today and yet another wildlife story. One would think that we lived in a zoo. Mind you – our home IS often like a zoo.

First the observation. It’s about the Beatnik. He is truly developing his boof skills. He has always been the quietest dog in the household, but since brother Viktor’s untimely passing, the Beatnik has become quite the watch dog. When he is not boofing at his reflection in the deck door, he is boofing at any unusual noise he hears. And he has good hearing – because he can detect things in the middle of the night that neither I nor her highness can hear. And it is at those times that he lets out his super boof – which is loud. Quite loud. Super boofs in the middle of the night for no seemingly good reason are not always appreciated. Mind you, if a bear was attempting to knock down our front door, a super boof would be quite helpful. It all depends on the occasion.

The other day he let out a series of super boofs when he heard the arrival of a delivery truck. He never used to do that before. I guess he has learned to imitate my Cujo impression where I shout and throw myself against the front door. He hasn’t resorted to the throwing part yet.

Anyway, it was the delivery of some new comfy clothing for her highness – as she will no longer be able to wear her giant pandemic drawstring sweat pants now that temperatures have gone up. We are all ready for a change in her attire. Now she’ll be wearing giant pandemic drawstring shorts. And giant T-shirt’s to hide her not-so-svelte pandemic figure. Frankly, I don’t care what she wears- as long as her shorts have pockets. For treats of course. Anyway, to hear the Beatnik super boof, one might think he was terribly ferocious. It’s all an illusion….

As for wildlife – we have another new creature to add to the menagerie. We didn’t see him – but we heard her highness shouting at him in the garage yesterday. She was yelling “you can’t come in here. Stay away. Noooo. Go away. You can’t come in!” We hadn’t heard a vehicle – so we knew it wasn’t the pizza delivery guy. (No wonder she is sporting that not-so-svelte figure – but who am I to say anything). Nope- no delivery guy. And it wasn’t a June bug. Or a bear. Or a porcupine or bunny. It was a snake. A garter snake. Now garter snakes are harmless – and they do eat insects and rodents. This one would only be able to eat mini rodents because he was small. But he was lounging in the sunshine by the garage door. So when her highness opened the door – there he was. And he had three options.: Come into the garage; stay where he was and become a snake pancake after being squished by the car; or go elsewhere. Her highness got some garden tool and attempted to move him away. He was not impressed. That’s when we heard all the shouting. Her highness finally managed to shoo him into some bushes. As if he won’t be able to find his way back. She spent the rest of the afternoon Googling natural snake repellents. Repellents that are safe for dogs. She found nothing. So if you happen to know of any, please let her know. Otherwise Mr Snake could end up being a pancake after all.

That’s all the latest excitement here. According to the weather guessers, there is a 90% chance of rain today. I won’t be going far on my walk. I plan to produce quick results. Now I just need to convince the Beatnik that he needs to do the same….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Elroy here. All systems alert! Invaders on the property. Time of invasion: any time after the sun has gone down. Location of invasion: anywhere close to a light. Description of invaders: Mutant grape-sized winged creatures wearing hard shelled armor. Alias: June bugs.

First there were black flies. And ticks. And now we have the non-poisonous, benign but pesky June Bugs. If you don’t live in an area with the beetle bugs, Google them for a visual. They are massive. Well massive according to her highness. And they come out at night – and make a buzzing noise as they pound against the screen on the windows in an effort to gain entry to the house. They just want to get close to a light. Then they hit the light source and knock themselves out. Not the smartest beings on the insect intelligence scale.

Her highness despises June bugs. A dear friend once told her the story of getting one stuck in her hair, and that image is a nightmare that her highness can never forget. So at night when we go out for our final pee, we go out in the dark. No hall light left on and no outdoor lights. Her highness would rather encounter a bear than a June bug. Go figure.

But ….we had a bit of a June bug encounter the other night…Her highness was in the DFZ having a Zoom “meeting” with two dear friends. The door to the deck was open – the one with the “dog door” screen. Her highness finished her call and it was dark outside. The lights in the dining room were off- but the lights in the kitchen were on. As her highness walked into the dining room, she heard it. That telltale buzzing sound and screen bumping sound made by a June bug who wanted in. She approached the door without turning on the light, and as she did so, the Boss came in the door – pushing the screen inward – and letting the June bug IN the house. “Aghhhhhhh” she cried as the drunken armed grape flew toward the ceiling. Her highness ran for a newspaper to try and deflect his flight path. But as she grabbed the paper, she lost sight of him. Did he go in the DFZ? Or did he go down the hallway to the BEDROOM? She ran to look for him. Meanwhile, yours truly emerged from the bedroom wondering what all the commotion was about. The Boss just rolled his eyes. One thing for sure, the grape wasn’t bouncing around any lights. They are not hard to miss. So where was he? For probably a half hour, her highness searched for the grape. No sign of him. She kept telling us to find him, but given that we have no formal training in June bug detection, we just stood there. She was afraid to go to bed for fear he was in the bedroom and would somehow seek out her hair while she was sleeping.

Just as she was about to give up her search and considered sleeping with a scarf on her head, she went into the DFZ for her slippers. She happened to glance toward a wall – and noticed the invader crawling on the floor near the pole lamp. But now what? Step on him and listen for the giant crunch? Try to pick him up with a half roll of paper towel ?

She had another idea. She ran for the garage to get a broom as we watched. She raced back to the DFZ and thankfully the grape was still there. She then used the broom to repeatedly trounce the grape. Pieces of broom went flying. And then he was suddenly gone. Like Houdini. She didn’t want to look at the end of the broom for fear he was hiding among the bristles – just waiting to fly out and go straight for her hair. So – she carefully lifted the broom and positioned it straight out and headed for the front door. “Stay clear” she shouted to me and the Boss who were watching with fascination. She walked slowly past us – like a PON in the rain- so as not to dislodge the hidden grape. She slowly opened the front door after her procession from the DFZ and as soon as she was 6 feet from the front door, she bashed the broom to the ground. Out popped the grape. She ran back in the house.

For the next few weeks, the door to the deck will be closed after dark. The Boss will no longer be allowed to bring in any “friends” from outside. I know there are dogs who would be interested in eating them. The crunch could be nice, but actually neither one of us is interested. We’ll stick with non moving biscuits.

Next to look forward to – mosquito season….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Greetings readers. Frodo here. Because our topic is rather academic today, I am the author. I offered the Beatnik the chance to write this, but he was too busy listening to birds and smelling the wind.

According to the calendar, on this day in 2004, a gentleman by the name of Ken Jennings began a 74 game winning streak on the TV game show Jeopardy. Clearly he is a rather intelligent human. He won millions of dollars playing on a game show. That’s a lot of biscuit money.

So do you think you could be on Jeopardy? I couldn’t because they don’t allow dogs. They should allow us – given all the news lately it’s clear that we canines are MUCH brighter than some two-legged s. But I digress…

If you want to see how you could do on Jeopardy- go to this link. All of the questions are real questions that have been on the show. And all of the questions are about dogs. Of course. Add up all the questions that you answer correctly, and then subtract any answers you might miss – to see your final score. Her highness did not get every answer – but she managed to win $12,300. The person who shares the highest score will win….well not the cash. How about a paw-tographed postcard? That we can do. Let’s see those scores!!!

https://thestacker.com/stories/3121/can-you-answer-these-real-jeopardy-questions-about-dogs

Time for our constitutional. Well- I walk and the Beatnik stops every 50 yards to survey his surroundings. Sometimes we think he would stand in place all day and just “watch” if her highness let him. He needs his own Jeopardy category…Strange Picard Behaviors. I’ll take the category for $1000…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Yo. Happy Sunday everybody. Elroy here. I’m here to tell you about two new words I learned yesterday. Well…..I may have heard them before – but it’s been a while. The words? “Time” and “out”. Put together in a little phrase – time out.

It all started because I have, in the past few days, become obsessed with my favorite game – Poke-a- PON. That’s when you poke a PON with your nose from behind, or you poke him in the ear. Yup. In the ear. Now the PON in my case, will spin around and bark at me. Which causes me to spin and then attempt another poke.

Sometimes the PON will be quite content minding his own business, and I lie down practically on top of him. That usually results in a lick fest at first, and then when the PON is sufficiently soggy, or when her highness says to stop, I will then leap up and begin Poke-a-PON.

I have found that my favorite time to play is juuuuuuuust when her highness sits down for breakfast. Now keep in mind that my game playing causes a LOT of barking by then PON.

Yesterday, her highness finally said “enough.” But that didn’t deter me. Lick, bark, lick, bark, bark, spin, bark, poke, leap, spin, bark, spin, spin, bark, leap, spin, bark…. you get the picture. Even the threat of the squirt gun had no effect. None. Poke, bark, spin, bark, bark, spin, poke – and that was IT. Her highness got up, escorted yours truly out onto the deck and rather ceremoniously said “TIME OUT!!!!” She left me out there. I sat forlornly looking through the glass. I was out there for hours. OK. Just joshing. It was like two minutes. If that. Her highness feels sorry for my sad look- it works every time. She opened the deck door and let me back in. She’s such a spoil sport. Meanwhile the soggy PON looked rather smug that he got to stay in. Just because he’s the “older” one. I guess age has its advantages. Like the seniors’ discounts her highness can now get at some stores. She’s not too proud to ask – which is fine by me – more biscuit money in her pocket!

Today it supposed to rain for a bit. It did yesterday too – but we did manage to get out for our morning walk before the rain. We have this new routine where we have to go into the torture palace aka garage after our walk, and get our feet rinsed off before we go in the house. This is the result of JUST the PON rinse. Pretty cool how much soil he brings in – I think he’s planning to start his own indoor garden. For his tomatoes. Maybe he’ll have better luck….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Frodo here. Again. I honestly deserve overtime this week.

I’m here with some useless dog trivia. Then again, if you are ever a contestant on Jeopardy, or if you happen to own or breed Lhasa Apsos you may find this information helpful. Mind you, if you breed Lhasa Apsos you probably already know this story. Dog people often know interesting historical tidbits about their breeds. And then they discuss them at dog clubs….

Anyway, today we celebrate the birthday of Tenzing Norgay. I’m assuming you know who he is (but don’t worry if you don’t- I didn’t know either. But her highness did – so she said I ought to write about him. So I am. I’m doing it for a biscuit). Anyway, Tenzing Norgay was the Sherpa who made the first successful climb and return from Mount Everest – with Edmund Hillary. After that famous climb, Tenzing became pretty famous. He was knighted for his accomplishment and was reportedly one of the first Sherpas to be recognized as a “full-fledged” climber and he was no longer considered a porter.

With his fame came a bigger house, several marriages, children AND he began breeding dogs. He was supposedly given two Lhasas by a Tibetan monk – and he founded a kennel. One source said that he gave dogs away, because Sherpas were superstitious about selling dogs. Now that’s an interesting tidbit.

When Tenzing passed away at the age of 71, he reportedly owned 25 dogs. I bet his dogs ate that those Himalayan Yak cheese dog chews you can get at pet stores. Ever try those things? They’re like rocks. We had them once and her highness thought I would break my already cracked teeth on them – so they somehow disappeared after a few minutes of chewing. She has this distraction technique where if we have something that could cause gastrointestinal issues if we chew them too long (like fresh marrow bones) or they have the potential to crack teeth, she gets yummy treats and distracts us so we leave the danger chew, and go for the treats. Then she runs and grabs the danger chew. We know what she’s doing – but we’ve usually been working at the danger chew for some time, so we’re ready for a break anyway. But we let her think she has tricked us.

I don’t think those Yak chews are bad for everyone- but I quickly broke off chunks – and swallowing them can be dangerous. One site said you could microwave them to create “a cheesy puffed treat.” We didn’t try that. Ours became the Houdini treat.

So that’s your trivia for today. It’s Friday according to the calendar. Who knows – I just know it’s not garbage day.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Greetings all. Frodo here. It is hump day for those in the working world. Also known here as garbage day. That special day of the week where we usually walk down the middle of the road – to discourage peeing on all the neighbors’ garbage cans.

Last night her highness had one of her many Zoom calls that are taking place quite regularly since the Great Pause began. I call them Doom calls because once they begin, we are unable to go out or do anything exciting. This particular meeting was a dog club meeting. The American Polish Lowland Sheepdog Association to be precise. For those who may be unaware – when humans are particularly dog crazy – they may join a dog club. Or two. Or three… Clubs can be All Breed Clubs – meaning just what the title says- a club for any breed of dog. Then you have specific breed clubs. Specific breed clubs can be regional, national, international…. Whichever type one belongs to – they all have the same thing in common- dogs. People with dogs love to talk to others about their dogs. They love to share adventures and experiences.

The irony is that prior to the Great Pause, we dogs were technically not allowed at club meetings – unless they were conference calls. Meetings like the local dog clubs did not allow dogs. But now, with the advent of these video conference meetings, we can easily attend the meetings. Last night, the Beatnik plopped himself right in front of the camera for a good part of the meeting. And any attempt her highness made to get him to lie down was met by a lick in her face.

Yours truly slept through the meeting, but of course at the END, she wanted to introduce me to the other members of the executive. I refused to move. Not until she said the magic word “biscuit” did I bother to wander over. And the nerve – she didn’t even HAVE a biscuit. I’ll remember that.

In other exciting news, we played fetch outside the other day. Here is a photo comparison of PON fetch vs Picard fetch.

Both do the pick up, turn toward the thrower and begin to return.

PON continues at a steady pace. Picard begins to slow.

PON continues with good grip on the toy. Picard begins to falter.

PON completes retrieval and sits to wait for treat.

Picard sinks to the ground…

And then the Picard completes his final moves…

I must confess, he IS rather entertaining.

Time for our walk Have a good one Peace and paws up. Stay safe!

Greetings readers. Frodo here – filled with all kinds of gruesome news. Well – perhaps the word gruesome is a bit dramatic- but I do enjoy a good dramatic episode every now and again. Just watch me being groomed….

But our story is not about grooming. It’s about a funeral that will likely be happening today. For our tomato plants. Yes- we had a bit of a tragedy Saturday night. Her highness had planted her vegetable patches last week in the boxes where we are not allowed to pee. She had heard there could be frost so she carefully covered her plants Friday night. Saturday morning they looked happy and healthy. She repeated the covering on Saturday night. Unfortunately, the temperatures were more chilly and when she did the ceremonial unveiling on Sunday morning she was shocked to see that half her tomato plants had shriveled up. She tried in earnest to resuscitate them with some vitamin laced water- but even after a lovely afternoon of sunshine, the poor souls looked no better. Frankly I think she drowned them after they had hypothermia. She didn’t have the heart to remove them yesterday, but I think the funeral will be taking place today. I just hope we don’t need to dress up.

In other unhappy news, it appears that our neighborhood has been invaded not only by bunnies – but by the third largest rodents in North America. The nocturnal ones that weigh between 15 and 35 lbs. The ones that like to eat fruit trees, and appear to have little “benefit” to other forest friends. Perhaps because they have 30,000 quills that cover their body. Yes – I am referring to porcupines.

Allow me to dispel two porcupine myths. One – they do not shoot their quills. They will raise them in self defense, but they do not shoot them. And number two: if you, by horrible luck, happen to encounter one, and find yourself looking like a pin cushion – it is a myth that you should cut the ends off to somehow “deflate” them. Cutting the ends only makes them splinter – and makes the quills more difficult to remove.

So what are porcupines good for? Keeping animal emergency rooms busy – most frequently in the spring and fall.

Last night when we went for our evening constitutional, we saw FOUR porcupines. Actually, that’s a bit of a lie. The beatnik and I saw three. He highness spotted the fourth one herself. One of the porcupines was on the other side of the ditch right along the road – not 15 feet away. The beatnik stopped and was silently looking at something and that’s when her highness spotted not one but two. A big one and a very little one. Probably a mother and baby. Of course when I saw what they were looking at, my greeting was not so silent. The porcupines ran into the woods.

Sources say that if your dog encounters a porcupine, you should take him to the vet ASAP. Long time readers may recall that Viktor had a run in one evening with a quill pig. That’s the Latin translation of porcupine. Her highness worried that by the time they got to the emergency clinic, the quills would have been further embedded. So, with her dear mother acting as surgical assistant (holding a box in which the quills were placed), her highness performed the removal. She also did so because there were none in his mouth or around his eyes. She would not have attempted removal otherwise. She did call the emergency after – and they said they would have done exactly what she did – and he needed no follow up if they were all removed. Luckily they were.

Needless to say, there will be no off leash moments at dawn or dusk around our place. Playing with porcupines is NOT recommended.

Well time to get ready to check the crops. Hopefully there will be no more fatalities today. How am I ever going to eat my tomatoes if this continues?! I think her highness needs to go back to the garden center. And although she had contemplated buying a fruit tree, with our recent influx of quill pigs, she had better not. She isn’t exactly excelling at the farming skills so far this year. That’s all we need is a porcupine magnet.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Oh – and by the way – that’s her highness’ sketch of a porcupine that she did in some nature drawing class last fall. She was trying to be funny. She tries…..

Greetings readers. Frodo here. I trust you are all doing as well as can be expected during the plague. It appears that things are beginning to loosen up with regard to access. For example, here in Nova Scotia we can now go to parks and beaches – but humans must remain at least two Labradors apart. My golf course has reopened and while it is good for the economy, personally, I am less than thrilled. I call it “my” course because although I don’t technically own it, or even a part of it, I believe in PON virtual ownership. You see, I am a PON and I believe I own everything our road. Including the golf course. IMAGINE my shock when I saw golfers out on the course- after having complete, unrestricted access for many weeks. Frankly, I was rather annoyed when I spotted them wandering my course. My boisterous greeting was not exactly joyful. But of course, I was on a leash so I could not get close while shouting at them.

Their very presence has precipitated a new routine in our house. We awake by 6 AM in order to walk parts of the course before the golfers arrive AND, our afternoon walk has been bumped until just before sunset – so we can walk parts of the course while the golfers are finishing their games. Her highness prefers that we be inconspicuous during this walk – but not to worry – I am certain to shout out my greeting should I see anyone.

The other night, as we were walking one direction and the golfers were walking the opposite direction on a parallel fairway(with trees between us), guess what we saw? Thelma and Louise – those two deer we had seen the other day. Thelma and Louise were in the treed area between the two fairways, and they had to decide whether to face a golf cart with golfers – or a woman with two dogs. Much to her highness’ dismay, they chose our fairway to escape. Now the beatnik has seen them before when he was on his own and was not overly excited. BUT, this time he took a cue from yours truly and became a stark raving lunatic – barking and jumping up and down. And pulling her highness with all our might. So much for the inconspicuous walk.

Well. It’s about time to do our morning round. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for any golfers and her highness will be sure to hold on tight. Her biceps are developing nicely. Perhaps that’s why her scale went up. Who am I kidding..

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.