Hey hey hey blogaroos. It’s Squirmy- don’t-bite-me- Wormy here on this super Saturday. But before I begin telling you about my latest exploits, I need to start off on a more serious note…

Today is September 11, and it’s a day that is sadly etched in the minds of many humans. A day of senseless loss. A day that changed the way the world looks at travel. A day that changed the way the world looks at security. A day that sadly changed the way humans sometimes look at one another…

In the aftermath of 911, countless heroes emerged. And in case you didn’t know – many of those heroes were canine. This article pays tribute to some of those canines – so I felt it was important to share it here:

https://www.dogingtonpost.com/remembering-the-hero-dogs-of-911/

Those dogs were TRUE heroes. Just look at the jobs that they did…

Phew. How do I follow that? I’m no doggie hero. I just have to resort to being comic relief. And I guess that’s important too. In a different way….Sometimes humans just need to smile….

So let’s see if I can do that….

On Thursday I went to a “practice” training session with a few of my buds: Jerome, my Boston Terrier friend, better known as J Rome and Chloe and Chievie , my Borzoi girlfriends. Chloe is a bit nervous around me- she’s probably read this blog. Chievie, on the other paw, thinks I’m cool. So. IMAGINE what happened when Chievie and I were let loose when our training session was over?! First off, J Rome had to be lifted up for his own protection. And then, all heck broke loose. Ever see a herding dog try to herd a sight hound?! We’re talking Wild Kingdom material. I went crazy chasing her. And ummmm… she’s faster than me. My Enforcer immediately regretted letting me loose as she figured she would never catch me. That fear was a BIT unfounded as we WERE indoors. Holy moly she is fast. Chievie. Not My Enforcer. I mean really REALLY fast. I was out of breath in seconds. I’m clearly out of shape. I take after my human. Oops. Did I actually say that?! No extra biscuits for me today.

Had my obedience class yesterday. I behave like the lights on a turn signal- intermittently. When we did a recall, I ran toward My Enforcer and then veered left. I thought I smelled a treat on the ground. Then when she went to put my leash back on, I threw myself on the ground and rolled with my legs flailing in the air. Nobody else did that. I do freestyle obedience. I’m hoping they will catch on and join me. My Enforcer just gave me “the look.”

For those wondering about my peeing “brother” – he has not left any more marks indoors. And he seems fine. My Enforcer thinks it was a senior brain fart. She has them too. But she doesn’t pee on the carpet in the hall.

We have nice weather in the forecast this weekend, so I’m hoping for some extra long walks and maybe a car ride. My Enforcer will drive. In case you’re wondering.

Almost time for my morning freestyle leash walking. Good thing obedience judges don’t actually see how you act in the “real” world. I wouldn’t have a prayer of EVER getting a ribbon.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Greetings blog aficionados. Frodo here for your reading pleasure today.

Let me begin by attempting to clear my name. I understand a photo of me appeared in the last blog. I was positioned next to a chewed package of news flyers.

Now one must understand that I was asked to lie down next to the paper, which I obligingly did. I had no idea I would be the dog accused of committing the crime. Need I point out that while the Imp was out for his neighborhood walk about, yours truly was home – BUT I was not alone. The Coyote, also known as the FG was home with me. Why Her Highness ASSUMED I was the guilty party is hard to understand. Seriously- it COULD HAVE been either one of us. True. I do enjoy perusing the counters, but I look for cast off food. Newspapers are hardly edible. So the question remains – WHO chewed the papers. I am not about to reveal the culprit.

That being said, I did have a momentary lapse of sanity yesterday with regard to another naughty event, and frankly, I could not deny my guilt as I was caught in the act…

When I go for my morning constitutional, I am known for my consistent P3 production. Except for that unfortunate incident with the dog sitter. Now while I am a P3 producer, there ARE times when I must be reminded to “go pee.” Yes. I DO pee. But frankly I am not like the young boys who feel the need to pee on every blade of grass. I choose my pee locations carefully. I pee a few times on a walk, and usually before we enter our abode, Her Highness reminds me to “pee” one more time. Sometimes I simply stare at her. I don’t NEED to pee. But to humor her, I do.

Which brings me to yesterday. I started on my walk, had what I deemed to be a sufficient pee, and then produced a P3. Now, yesterday was garbage day, and the collecting gentlemen were coming our way in a large truck. So Her Highness quickly picked up my P3 sample, and we headed back home. A rather aborted walk if you ask me. She deposited “the bag” in our poop can, and told me it was time to go in the house. Which I did. BUT she did not remind me to pee again.

The next 20 minutes were textbook activities. Food, blueberries, Stuffed Kong…I participated fully and eagerly as I always do. But then, well I might as well confess before someone else reports my crime, I walked into the front hall and proceeded to have a pee on the carpet. Her Highness heard the waterfall sounds and raced into the hall. Meanwhile, I hightailed it out of there- hoping no one would notice the wet spot.

What possessed me to pee on the carpet, I don’t know. A senior moment? Perhaps. No doubt you readers will have your own ideas – and you must trust that Her Highness googled every possible reason. To answer your questions- I am drinking as I normally do. No more. No less. I am starving. As I normally am. I am a PON after all. I sleep fine. My energy is perfect. I still hate being groomed. Nothing about me is different. A urinary tract infection? Perhaps. But peeing on the carpet is my only symptom.

Her Highness made an appointment with the vet for a “senior check up” in a few weeks Perhaps I should remind her she could do the same for herself…

Enough about my bodily functions. In other news, the FG always continues to amaze us with his Pic-quirks. That’s what I call them. He is a totally different creature- with his “need” to rub his face on any vertical surface- indoors and out. I find that so interesting. And then there are his “unique observational skills.” For example, while Her Highness was in the shower the other day, she heard him barking. Not the ruff-ruff-ruff-I-will-kill-that-blowing-leaf bark – the one that would terrify a delivery person. No. This was the loud BOOF. BOOF. BOOF. The one where he hears something and must let everyone know he hears something. By the time Her Highness emerged from the shower, he had stopped. I must confess, we all do enjoy a good game of shower barking.

But back to the FG.

Yesterday, before my “accident”, and while we PONs were devouring our Kongs, the FG again started his BOOF. BOOF. BOOF. Her Highness looked at him and discovered the cause for his alarm. The goose. We have a small wooden flying goose who is attached by fishing line to the ceiling. The goose has been flying above all of us for probably a year. Maybe two. But it seems the FG JUST noticed the goose. He felt it important to alert everyone to the creature. He stood there staring at the goose like it was an alien. And letting out his BOOFS. Perhaps he was reminding the goose that it is time to fly south.

So that is my review of the latest news from our humble home- including my rather embarrassing moment. I thought I might as well confess my crime, because no doubt someone else would tell you anyway. Today the Imp goes for some training practice which is wonderful. We have an hour of peace. Between the maniacal ricocheting shark and the face rubbing flower child, is it any wonder one forgets to pee when he goes out?

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Howdy blogaroos. I hope you’re having a terrific Tuesday and I hope your long weekend was not laborious. Get it? I’m soooo funny.

So according to the crazy calendar, today is something called Google Commemoration Day. Not Google’s birthday. It’s Commemoration Day. I don’t know why. Google the answer if you care.

Anyway, back in 2017, (before my time), Viktor wrote a blog all about this day. And he googled a bunch of things to see how many results he could get. Now the results are based on how many times key words appear in the database. So it’s kind of a moving target and it changes frequently. But we were still curious to look at some specific words again. Like Polish Lowland Sheepdog. Viktor got 537,000 search results back in his day. Today? 7,250,000 results!!!!! PONs are becoming popular. Or one might think. There’s more sites that mention us anyway. That being said, Picards beat us again, with 3,140,000 results in 2017 and 8,870,000 today. We’re catching up.

Now on a different angle, what dog breed do you think was googled most often in the past year in the US? PON! No I’m kidding. The BULLDOG! And here’s a summary of most googled breeds by state:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/most-popular-dog-breed-every-state_l_60b01400e4b0f2a82ee793f3/amp

Now keep in mind that doesn’t mean Bulldogs are the most popular breed in the US. That title has gone to Labrador Retrievers based on registration numbers – for quite a few years now. What it means is that people are googling Bulldog most often. They may not even like them. But they look them up.

You have to be careful with articles and studies and claims you find in your googling. Not ALL sites have reliable or credible information. I know that’s hard to believe.

We did go back to also look at the number of results for “best dog products.” Of course, the number of search results for all terms increased. But the order of results from the least number of results to most results changed a bit. Here was 2017:

Best Dog Leash with 5,200,000 results
Best Dog Treats – 7,020,000 results
Best Dog Grooming Tools – 7,860,000 results
Best Dog Toy – 10,700,000 results
Best Dog Bed – 50,100,000 results
Best Dog Food – 105,000,000 results
Best Dog Car – 153,000,000 results

Today’s results:

Best Dog Grooming Tools-102,000,000
Best Dog Leash – 185,000,000
Best Dog Treats- 332,000,000
Best Dog Toy – 904,000,000
Best Dog Bed – 1,4000,000
Best Dog Car – 1,740,000,000
Best Dog Food – 2,440,000,000

So what’s the take away in this information?? Nothing really. Just a bunch of numbers that change and have probably changed again since you started reading this. The Boss said this information is proof that prayers work. Grooming tools had the lowest number of results this time. I pointed out that there were STILL 102 MILLION results. But he said that there are lots more results for FOOD – as it should be! And food results topped the product list, beating out cars this time. Frankly, we dogs don’t really care what vehicle we’re in.

Hey. Speaking of the Boss – he got in trouble again! Well not BAD trouble. But he got to hear the ominous “what did you do” line.

I was out for my morning walk and we ran into Pigpen and his human. While I was busy sniffing his privates, his human asked if I had been counter surfing lately. My Enforcer said that I’m not the worst surfer – that title is held by the Boss. Well. Almost as if on cue, when we came home, we found this scene:

He claimed he was just checking the flyers for sales on dog food. He’s quick. But he should have just googled it.

OK. Gotta walk.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Hey hey hey blogaroos. Squirmy the weather dog Wormy here. OK. So maybe my newspaper debut IS going to my head. The Boss reminded me that HE has been a weather dog for YEARS. If you open the door, and he won’t go out, it’s raining. Funny. Yawn.

Not a whole lot new here. The Boss was groomed for like the first time in weeks. It’s been so hot, there was no way My Enforcer could take him into the Grooming Torture Palace aka garage because they both would have passed out from the heat. And they couldn’t do it at night – it was still too warm, and if they opened the garage door, they would have been host to a variety of flying insects. So yesterday was a cooler day, and right after breakfast, My Enforcer announced it was “time.” The Boss quickly figured out what was about to happen, so he bolted for the deck. My Enforcer had to go and get a leash and had to lasso him to get him to come into the garage. I won’t belabor a description of the agony that went on. Needless to say, after several weeks without a good brushing, the gnarlies had started forming – especially in unmentionable spots. I was in the kennel in the garage, so I got to witness the whole ordeal. I think I have PTGW. Post traumatic grooming witness. I don’t know who I was more worried about having a cardiac arrest- the Boss or My Enforcer. It was a full on wrestling match for about 2 hours. The good news, everyone survived.

Oh I know what’s new! I got booted out of my Rally class for bad behavior. JUST JOKIN. I have actually started a new class. I’m not sure of the name – but it’s for dogs who want to compete in obedience. Picture that. Me. In a formal obedience class. I went for my first session the other day – and I was a bit like a deer in headlights. I mean I KNEW the dogs in my rally class – and now I was put in a class with all new faces. There was a Weimaraner, an Australian Shepherd, a Border Collie and a huge, massive, gigantic Leonberger. I bet she eats a bag of dog food a day. Maybe two bags.

Although I was a bit shell shocked, My Enforcer had cut up cheese strings into bite-sized morsels – so I DID pay attention to her some of the time. She cut up about 300 pieces, but within minutes realized the stash would run out. So she started breaking them in two. Treats under human nails are a regular part of dog training. We won’t even mention the bits in pockets. That goes without saying. If My Enforcer was murdered, and forensics examined her nails, they would assume she was killed by a hotdog. Or cheddar cheese.

OK. Almost time for walkies. Have a super Sunday!!!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Hey blogaroos! It’s me. Squirmy. Squirmy the famous. I decided to stop and write this blog, and take a break from all the calls I have been getting to be a model.

Why you ask? We’ll check THIS out! I was in our local newspaper the other day:

How cool is THAT? I’m a weather dog. The Boss said it’s incorrect. He said my photo should be associated with a tornado or hurricane. He thinks he’s funny.

One problem with the photo – I don’t know who the heck Lisa is. Must be My Enforcer’s alias.

From now on, I am insisting that I get paid for every photo I take. OK. So yes, I already do. I mean if I sit and pose I DO get a treat. But given my newfound fame, I want TWO treats. The pay scale has just gone up.

Yesterday I had a private lesson with my coach, Jane. Well, private with me and My Enforcer. I didn’t go all by myself. My Enforcer had to drive. I think I had a private session because I’m special. The Boss said it was because I needed a remedial class.

I was PRETTY well behaved. I only tried to bite Jane and My Enforcer when I got bored. They talk about me a LOT and while they do, I’m supposed to lie like a rug and pretend I don’t hear them. They talk about my training quirks. OK. So sometimes I’m a bit “freestyle” when we’re working. But Jane said it’s because I’m young. My Enforcer sometimes forgets I still have a pin sized brain, because sometimes I can act like a BIG dog. But underneath it all, I’m still a baby. Anyway, Jane did a FABULOUS job of training My Enforcer. My Enforcer needs MUCH more training than I do! She’s a slow learner. But I never said that….

I’m still back in my crate at night. After that night when I tried a combo of yoga and aerobics on the bed, I haven’t been invited up again. My Enforcer mumbled something about needing her sleep. What for? I mean she’s retired. She can nap in the afternoon! If we let her.

We got a package in the mail the other day, and I was all excited, thinking it was some special gift. Guess what it was? You might as well give up. It was an utter disappointment. To me anyway. It was…get ready… a box of… barrettes. Really. I’m not joking. They weren’t for My Enforcer. Her hair is too short. So they were for me and the Boss. And get this – they came from England. Yes. England. I guess British barrettes are better than North American barrettes. Cheerio. They all taste the same to me. We actually can’t wear barrettes all the time. Possibly because we rip them out of each other’s hair and then proceed to chew them. Anyway, the company that makes the “best barrettes” is apparently going out of business. So My Enforcer ordered some for us. If she would just let us cut each other’s hair, which we thoroughly enjoy doing, we would have no need for barrettes. Just a thought.

Anyway, we got a variety of new barrettes. I’ll have to model them for you. But only if I’m paid well for the job….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Greetings blog readers. Frodo here on this, the 1st day of September. No doubt humans will exclaim today “Can you BELIEVE it is already September?!” As if they expected that additional days would somehow be added to the August calendar. I believe they say that all the time. Whenever the calendar page changes. It’s rather predictable. How wonderful to be a dog, totally oblivious to the calendar. Yes. We are a very lucky species.

Well Her Highness decided, for some God forsaken reason, to attempt to allow the Imp to sleep outside his crate the other night. Obviously a moment of weakness. Or insanity. This had been attempted previously- and was unsuccessful. That being said, the first night actually went surprisingly well. I believe he was in shock. So he settled down and went immediately to sleep. Yes, he did awaken her at 5:45 the next morning by licking her face, but all in all a restful night.

However…the next night was…how would the Imp describe it? Ah yes. I believe he would use the descriptive term- “gong show.”

He was at first put in his crate while Her Highness brushed her teeth. When she returned from the bathroom, she took the carabiner off his crate, and released him from his bondage. But instead of sleepily emerging from his prison, he burst out like an inmate given parole after 50 years. He immediately jumped on the bed, as Her Highness went to turn out the light. Did he settle down? Of course not. It began with an attempt to bite Her Highness’s legs through the duvet. When she said “stop it” he stopped and sat on her legs. Staring at her. Then he flung himself on the mattress. Rolling with his feet in the air. I had initially been on the bed, but got off when the circus act began. After rolling, he then went to bury his head under the pillows. Her Highness said “settle down.” She might as well have said “abracadabra” because he didn’t care one BIT about settling. He jumped off the bed, sniffed his way around the bedroom and jumped back on the bed. Again he began rolling. Feet flailing. Her Highness was half annoyed but also kept giggling because he WAS rather comical. Again she said “settle” and now he attempted to bite her butt through the duvet. Then he would sit and stare – with his wild Einstein hair standing on end. The rolling, biting and staring went on for about 20 minutes. When he began to attempt to fling pillows, his parole quickly ended. Thank heavens. I feared I would get no rest if he remained free.

On a more serious note, today is the birthday of the composer Johann Pachebel. He is probably best known for his Pachebel Canon, which around the 1980’s became a popular wedding anthem. You no doubt know it, but should you be uncertain, here it is. Sung by a Golden Retriever. I believe he made up the words.

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5b45a9cae4b07aea75457973

I don’t believe he won the competition. Personally I think it was related to the words.

Well it will soon be time for my morning constitutional. My few moments of freedom from the whirlwind. Will he EVER grow up?

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.