Pees and boofs

Greetings blog aficionados. Frodo here for your reading pleasure today.

Let me begin by attempting to clear my name. I understand a photo of me appeared in the last blog. I was positioned next to a chewed package of news flyers.

Now one must understand that I was asked to lie down next to the paper, which I obligingly did. I had no idea I would be the dog accused of committing the crime. Need I point out that while the Imp was out for his neighborhood walk about, yours truly was home – BUT I was not alone. The Coyote, also known as the FG was home with me. Why Her Highness ASSUMED I was the guilty party is hard to understand. Seriously- it COULD HAVE been either one of us. True. I do enjoy perusing the counters, but I look for cast off food. Newspapers are hardly edible. So the question remains – WHO chewed the papers. I am not about to reveal the culprit.

That being said, I did have a momentary lapse of sanity yesterday with regard to another naughty event, and frankly, I could not deny my guilt as I was caught in the act…

When I go for my morning constitutional, I am known for my consistent P3 production. Except for that unfortunate incident with the dog sitter. Now while I am a P3 producer, there ARE times when I must be reminded to “go pee.” Yes. I DO pee. But frankly I am not like the young boys who feel the need to pee on every blade of grass. I choose my pee locations carefully. I pee a few times on a walk, and usually before we enter our abode, Her Highness reminds me to “pee” one more time. Sometimes I simply stare at her. I don’t NEED to pee. But to humor her, I do.

Which brings me to yesterday. I started on my walk, had what I deemed to be a sufficient pee, and then produced a P3. Now, yesterday was garbage day, and the collecting gentlemen were coming our way in a large truck. So Her Highness quickly picked up my P3 sample, and we headed back home. A rather aborted walk if you ask me. She deposited “the bag” in our poop can, and told me it was time to go in the house. Which I did. BUT she did not remind me to pee again.

The next 20 minutes were textbook activities. Food, blueberries, Stuffed Kong…I participated fully and eagerly as I always do. But then, well I might as well confess before someone else reports my crime, I walked into the front hall and proceeded to have a pee on the carpet. Her Highness heard the waterfall sounds and raced into the hall. Meanwhile, I hightailed it out of there- hoping no one would notice the wet spot.

What possessed me to pee on the carpet, I don’t know. A senior moment? Perhaps. No doubt you readers will have your own ideas – and you must trust that Her Highness googled every possible reason. To answer your questions- I am drinking as I normally do. No more. No less. I am starving. As I normally am. I am a PON after all. I sleep fine. My energy is perfect. I still hate being groomed. Nothing about me is different. A urinary tract infection? Perhaps. But peeing on the carpet is my only symptom.

Her Highness made an appointment with the vet for a “senior check up” in a few weeks Perhaps I should remind her she could do the same for herself…

Enough about my bodily functions. In other news, the FG always continues to amaze us with his Pic-quirks. That’s what I call them. He is a totally different creature- with his “need” to rub his face on any vertical surface- indoors and out. I find that so interesting. And then there are his “unique observational skills.” For example, while Her Highness was in the shower the other day, she heard him barking. Not the ruff-ruff-ruff-I-will-kill-that-blowing-leaf bark – the one that would terrify a delivery person. No. This was the loud BOOF. BOOF. BOOF. The one where he hears something and must let everyone know he hears something. By the time Her Highness emerged from the shower, he had stopped. I must confess, we all do enjoy a good game of shower barking.

But back to the FG.

Yesterday, before my “accident”, and while we PONs were devouring our Kongs, the FG again started his BOOF. BOOF. BOOF. Her Highness looked at him and discovered the cause for his alarm. The goose. We have a small wooden flying goose who is attached by fishing line to the ceiling. The goose has been flying above all of us for probably a year. Maybe two. But it seems the FG JUST noticed the goose. He felt it important to alert everyone to the creature. He stood there staring at the goose like it was an alien. And letting out his BOOFS. Perhaps he was reminding the goose that it is time to fly south.

So that is my review of the latest news from our humble home- including my rather embarrassing moment. I thought I might as well confess my crime, because no doubt someone else would tell you anyway. Today the Imp goes for some training practice which is wonderful. We have an hour of peace. Between the maniacal ricocheting shark and the face rubbing flower child, is it any wonder one forgets to pee when he goes out?

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

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