Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Sheep. Round 2.

October 15, 2015Leave a Comment

Not again.

I just heard my human talking on the phone. We are definitely trying again. The sheep thing. On Saturday. But THIS time – just I am going. Frodo gets to stay home with Paxton.

So we’ll drive for over an hour and I’ll have my chance again with the wooly wonders. My human has attempted to get me to watch sheep videos – but I’m not all that interested. Secretly, I’m hoping it will rain – because I know she won’t take me if it’s pouring.

One thing I know for sure, if it was a herd of cats, you would see me move. Yesterday morning as we were walking up the driveway – in the dark – Frodo and I got the scent of something. My human was wearing her headlamp and she could see a pair of eyes looking at us from a big pile of boulders that is close to the road. She couldn’t make out what it was – but she was quite sure it was a cat. The neighbor’s cat likes to sit there – so it most likely was him. If Frodo and I had been off leash, well let’s just say our herding instincts would have been very evident. I realize that’s probably not REALLY herding – more like chasing with the intent to “make friends” – but herding sounds better.

My human also spotted a set of eyes about a week ago as we were walking up the road in the early morning darkness. I DO think that hair in our eyes CAN be a bit of a detriment – as we didn’t see those glowing eyes – which my human later realized (when the eyes moved into a streetlight) was a FOX. Again Frodo and I got the scent – but we REALLY need some night-time goggles. Hey- I wonder if I can find those on the net….

So I’ll be watching the weather fore-guess the next few days. Can ewe believe she is trying this again? Baaaaaaaaad idea…..

Don’t annoy me.

October 14, 2015Leave a Comment

So my human found another one of those “dog articles” on the net. This one was about things that humans do – that annoy us dogs. Now some of them I agree with and some – well ALL dogs are individuals – and articles like this REALLY cannot be generalized to the entire canine race. But here they are:

1. Staring. If humans stare at us dogs, we dogs may consider it a challenge. On the other hand, we dogs are allowed to stare at you humans. That’s what I think. Especially if we want your attention, want the food you are eating, want a treat, want to go out, or just because we love the way you look. More often our staring involves food. I excel at this skill. And I am adorable when I do so. If I do say so myself…

2. Hugs. Many of us dislike this as we see hugging as a sign of dominance. We WILL tolerate it – although some of us like it more than others.

Frodo- not so much. Me? I’m neutral. Paxton – hug away.

3. Yelling. They say that a low voice when you are being serious with us will command our attention – and a high pitched voice usually signals something good for us. You do not need to yell. It scares some dogs. My human doesn’t yell, but her volume does get increasing LOUDER as she repeats a command. Like when I’m licking Paxton’s face. It’s begins with a simple normal level “Viktor leave Paxton.” When I do not stop, she repeats her command, a bit louder “VIKtor – PLEASE leave Paxton.” When I still do not stop, it becomes “VIKTOR LEAVE PAXTON ALONE! NOW.” The louder volume does NOT scare me, and really, it’s not until she makes a move to grab the dreaded squirt gun that I stop. Maybe. I know there’s not even any water in it…

4. Teasing. It really doesn’t happen in our house – although I silently tease the OTHER two dogs when I go out first. They get my vibe. But I can’t say my human teases us. Unless eating her dinner without sharing it with us is considered teasing…

5. Too much alone time. Dogs who are left alone too long can get destructive. Now I admit, we don’t like when my human goes to work and leaves us alone, but she DOES have to go – dog biscuits don’t grow on trees. She DOES take us for long daily walks and if it isn’t raining, we are also guaranteed some time playing fetch outside. Until we are ready to collapse. We actually are never REALLY alone – we boys DO have each other. And I lick Paxton all day – with no human to bug me about it.

6. Crowded dog parks. We don’t do dog parks – so I know nothing about this one.

7. Interrupted sleep. Don’t ruin our sleep. We don’t like it. Like the other night when my human tried to move me OFF HER bed when she came to sleep. I played dead. I know how to go completely limp – it’s a well practiced skill. And then she laughs at me. So then she really can’t move me. Works every time. So just LET me sleep.

8. Strange dogs. We don’t see many where we live in the boonies – but we see plenty at dog shows. We’ve been around dogs at shows forever – so it’s no big deal. Especially for a social butterfly like me. It’s really all about the introduction.

9. Changes to routine. They say that novelty is good for your brain – but we ARE creatures of habit. And we know the daily drill. So keep it simple. And keep it the same.

10. A tight leash. Now this one is kind of odd – since we DOGS cause the tight leash. I guess you HUMANS are supposed to teach us how to walk with a loose leash. So really, a tight leash IS your fault. There. That explains it. And we don’t like it.

11. Going for a walk – but not allowing us to smell things. OK. I know my human has to go to work – so a 15 minute long sniff where the fox walked 2 hours ago probably IS a bit much to ask at 5 in the morning. But we want MORE sniffing time. MORE. And Paxton wants more peeing time. He only pees on every OTHER branch, stick, tree, blade of grass on a mile long walk. He’s a peeing machine.

12. Dressing us up. Now THIS one I agree with. The dreaded Dollar Store holiday attire. OK, not EVERYONE minds. Like Frodo. He is FINE with it. But Pax and I are NOT fans. WAIT until you see the Halloween photos. Just wait.

So this is the SHORT list of things you humans do that annoy us dogs. And honestly, I can only think of a FEW THINGS we dogs do that annoy you. Like maybe the staring thing. And the sniffing thing. And the licking of Paxton’s face. And the sudden deafness we demonstrate when being asked to do something. And the counter surfing. And the stealing your bed. And the chasing foxes. And rabbits. And leaves. And the squirming while grooming. And the incessant barking. But come ON. We are DOGS. That’s what we do! And seriously – where would life be without us? Pretty darn boring.

And despite the fact that you do plenty to annoy us, we still think we’ll keep you. You are just so much fun to train….

International Plain Language Day

October 13, 2015Leave a Comment

October 13. Today is International Plain Language Day. I wasn’t sure what this was – so I had to look it up. It is what is says. Plain and simple. It’ s a day to promote the use of plain written language that a reader can easily understand. Apparently Canadian and US laws require the use of plain language in federal communications. I’m not joking about this. Really. Ever try to read an income tax manual? Clearly that government department didn’t get the memo on Plain Language.

Some other examples of not-so-plain language outside the government- the teeny tiny ads at the bottom of car ads. Actually, a LOT of ads have teeny tiny print that even if you COULD read it, you wouldn’t know what they are saying.

Legal documents are FAR from plain.

Food labels. They are getting better. But you need a dictionary to read the ingredients on some dog food bags. Hint – those are probably NOT the foods you should be eating.

And humans often do NOT use Plain Language in SPEAKING when it comes to us dogs. For example, my human will say “I won’t be long” when she goes out somewhere. But that’s not EXACTLY plain, because “not long” can be anywhere from a half hour to 7 hours. Just use plain language. Say “I will be gone for 5 hours.” I mean it’s not like we are going to change our plans for the day and do something based on the amount of time you’ll be gone. Just be plain. We can take it.

So I am going to be use plain language in my blog. My valediction will not be to “acquire an agreeable twenty four hour period”, I’ll just say “have a nice day!”

Fall photo shoot

October 12, 2015Leave a Comment

Well Saturday was quite the day. The obligatory fall photo shoot. As soon as my human started getting together special treats, we knew something was up. That and the fact that Frodo and I were groomed in the morning and Paxton was also brushed. An obvious clue that something was up. And THEN we spotted it. The dreaded bag from the Dollar store. So this was not going to be an ordinary photo shoot. Yes – the dreaded Halloween attire.

Even the “regular” shots – sans costume, were NOT easy. Paxton was in a TOTAL non-photo mood. He would not look at my human. Picnore SUPREME. And he would NOT put his ears up. As SOON as my human put the camera/phone away, he was FINE. Here are a few of the 4+million taken.

You’ll have to wait for the Halloween shots. Unless I can destroy her phone before then. Let’s just say that Frodo was QUITE happy with HIS attire. And mine – well I suppose it IS apropros…

THANKSGIVING.

October 10, 2015Leave a Comment

So it’s a long weekend in Canada. It’s the Thanksgiving weekend – a time to give thanks for all the good things we have – but don’t always appreciate! While Thanksgiving did not become an “official statutory holiday in Canada until 1957,” the history of Thanksgiving in Canada dates back to 1578 – when Martin Frobisher from England arrived WAY up North in Canada – even before the pilgrims arrived in America. I wonder if he brought a dog with him? Anyway Thanksgiving was declared a national holiday in 1879 and at that time was celebrated in either October or November. In 1957, the second Monday in October became the official holiday – and it marked a time to give thanks for the harvest. Canada’s Thanksgiving is before the US – partly because our harvest is earlier.

So here in Canada, like the US, humans fill themselves with turkey or ham, potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing and pumpkin pie. That’s the short list. And we canines sit waiting nearby – HOPING that there will be SOME leftovers that are safe for us. Like carrots.

In the US, this weekend is Columbus Day weekend – marking Columbus’ “discovery” of America. Actually, now some states are calling it Indigenous People’s Day – recognizing that Columbus WASN’T the first guy in America. Good point!

Other countries also celebrate a day of Thanksgiving at different times on the calendar– including Grenada, Liberia, Saint Lucia, the UK, Germany and Japan. I’m sure there are others.

So Thanksgiving is day to reflect on what we have – the MANY things we SHOULD be thankful for. I actually looked back to my blog from last year – and many of the things I was thankful for then, still apply. Here are some of those, and some new things as well:

·       My food bowl. Especially when it is full.

·       The treat jar. For obvious reasons.

·       Bananas. Carrots. Sweet potatoes. But not lettuce.

·       My water bowl. Drinking out of puddles is fine – but clean water IS better.

·       The guilt gifts we receive when my human is away on a holiday or for
        work.

·       The lovely collars our human buys for us. It doesn’t matter that you can’t
        see them with all of our hair – they are still very nice!

·       Car rides – except when we are going to the vet.

·       Doorbells – which alert us to a new victim for our bad-mannered jumping.

·       Barettes. And elastics (or rubber bands). To keep our hair out of our eyes!
·       Our house! Because it beats living outdoors! Especially in the rain.

·       Our human’s bed. Which we TECHNICALLY are not allowed on – but
where we sneak many nights…
·       Belly rubs and ear scratches.

·       Retrieving toys. To bring back again and again and again and….

·       Rabbits. And squirrels. And cats. To chase.

·       The ability to bark. To warn of an intruder (like those foxes), to request
        treat – or simply to welcome the dawn of a new day!

·       Sunny days. To play outside.

·       Snowy days. To play outside.

·       Snow plow operators. We are thankful for you. But hope we never see
        you this winter.

·       Windy days. To smell good things. And to play outside.

·       Weather forecast people. Because you show us that “being right” is not a
necessity in life.

·       Raincoats. Although we PRETEND we don’t like them, they DO keep us
dry!
·       Family and friends! Who are always THERE for you – through thick and
        thin – and even porcupine quills!

·       Frodo and Paxton. Who tolerate my licking, barking and biting – especially
when we run outside. Or downstairs. Or at night. Or in the morning. Or…

·       Dog people! Who share stories, support one another, provide great advice
and understand what it is like to be in this weird cult where you are owned
by a dog!
·       All of those people who have supported me with my very first book!

·       The colorful leaves in the fall. Which go flying every which way when I am
retrieving my toys.

·       The morning – when the alarm goes off and we happily welcome a new
day!

·       The stars when we go out at night for our last pee before bed.

·       That moment when we hear our human’s car coming home…

·       My human…

·       And finally… those who take the time to read my crazy BLOG! I’m not sure
how long I’ll keep this going – but I am thankful I was able to do it for a
year!

Happy Thanksgiving – no matter WHERE you live! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Fire prevention

October 9, 2015Leave a Comment

October 9. Fire Prevention Day. It’s a good day to check your smoke alarm batteries. And we did another thing yesterday to prevent a fire. Well WE didn’t but my human did. You see, she’s been having problems with the clothes dryer for quite some time. Sometimes it works, and then sometimes the filter light goes on and the machine turns off. She cleaned EVERY filter she could find on the machine, and after a call to a dryer maintenance man, and some rather precarious inspection on a ladder, she determined that the problem was in the duct going from the dryer, into the ceiling and out a vent in the roof. So she called in help – when the vacuum cleaner hose she attached to a kayak paddle wouldn’t reach the vent on the roof. From her perch on the ladder. I must say, my human TRIES to be resourceful – but she is not always successful. Anyway, clogged dryer ducts ARE a fire hazard – so it needed to be fixed. Never mind the hazards of carrying a vacuum cleaner up a ladder…

So yesterday, my human’s mother came to entertain us while the duct man came and my human went to work. OK. She wasn’t REALLY here to entertain us – more like sequester us so we wouldn’t bother the duct man. And we were good the WHOLE time he was here. And then he left. And as SOON as he was gone, Frodo knocked down the gate that was sequestering us. The deck door was open so he raced out there barking and barking. For no reason, of course. And THEN, he PEED on the leg of the barbecue. FRODO. The good dog. PEED on the leg of the barbecue. My human’s mother scolded him, but he wasn’t too stressed about it. THEN, every time my human’s mother sat down to read, he would lead the three of us in a BARKING frenzy racing across the deck.

When my human got home, she asked her mother how we had behaved all day. Her mother said, “And WHO do you think was the trouble-maker today?” As usual, my human guessed ME. She was surprised to hear it was NOT me. Redemption. Finally.

So it was an eventful day. My behavior wasn’t “on fire” and our dryer duct is clean and safe. Fire Prevention all around.

Tail tales

October 8, 2015Leave a Comment

Another brilliant human idea. I just read about a device that you attach to a dog’s tail – to see how he is feeling. I kid you not. It’s an emotion detector. You attach it to your dog’s tail and you will be able to follow a plot on a graph on your mobile device that tells you how your dog is feeling at any point in time.

Reportedly, when we dogs wag our tails to the left, we are feeling scared or anxious or angry, and when we wag to the right, we are feeling happy or excited or content. I’m not sure what it means when we wag back and forth…

The device is supposed to come out next year – assuming the company can raise lots of funds for the production.

Now the idea of GPS tracking devices I can see – particularly given my recent disappearing act during that off-leash run. I might add, that I have NOT been off leash since then. So if one wanted to spend money on dog technology, I can see the benefits of a tracking device. But an emotion monitor?! Really? Look at my tail. Look at my ears. Do I LOOK happy? And if you really want to know how I’m feeling when you’re not there – get a video camera, with a feed to your smartphone. My human knows that if she were to talk to us remotely, we probably wouldn’t listen after the first time. We’re intelligent beings – we’ll KNOW you are not there. Heck, we don’t even listen when we’re doing something bad and you’re IN the room!

So good luck with the tail monitor. I wonder if it will show up in Xrays when another dog eats it?

Sweet dreams

October 7, 2015Leave a Comment

So the other night, my human had a bad dream. She thinks it was because she had been in touch with a very good friend who is a doctor – who has worked at the hospital in Afghanistan that was recently bombed. Thankfully her friend was not there at the time – but sadly, he knows the staff that lost their lives. She went to bed and was dreaming of bombings!!!! She was happy when she woke up from the dream and she didn’t even care that I had managed to sneak onto the bed.

Which brings me to the topic of dogs and dreaming. Because we canines can’t TELL you that we dream, it’s hard to PROVE that we dream. BUT –there is scientific evidence that shows it is HIGHLY likely that we DO dream. Just like humans, dogs go into a pattern of DEEP sleep – and that’s when dreams are most likely to occur. You have no doubt seen us growling or running in our sleep. That’s when we are dreaming. Just the other night – my human looked at Frodo and he was sound asleep – but he was wagging his tail! Must have been a dream about food.

Some studies say that small dogs dream more often than larger dogs. I think it’s because they are probably defending themselves in their dreams more often – since they are little. And speaking of small dogs defending themselves – did you see the video of the French Bulldog in California who chased away TWO BEARS?! Seriously. TWO bears. Jewels was caught on surveillance cameras – and boy oh boy, I sure wouldn’t want to tangle with HER. She sent those bears a-packing. Hey – I wonder if bears dream? Gotta check it out. They must – during that long hibernation!

Anyway, I hope you have a dreamy day – as long as it’s GOOD dreams!

Taking Dog Photos. For Humans.

October 6, 2015Leave a Comment

So some people ask my human how she manages to get good photos of me – and my brothers. I have decided to share some of her strategies. Now keep in mind, for every GOOD photo you see posted, 4,561,328 OTHER shots were also taken. OK. Maybe not THAT many. But certainly more than 10.

So the first step in getting a good dog shot is to tire us out. Play ball. Take us for a walk. And whatever you do – do NOT attempt to take photos immediately BEFORE mealtime. Especially with us PONs. If we THINK it is near mealtime, there is NO way we can sit still. Tired or not tired. And it is not a good idea to try immediately AFTER mealtime. At that point we are satisfied, and may not be interested in the fabulously yummy treats you have in your pocket. Well. That may be true for some dogs. We PONs can eat ANY time. But fabulously yummy treats ARE a KEY ingredient in the photo shoot. It has to be something like….cheese. We LOVE cheese.

So after we are tired out, take us to the photo spot and position us. It is critical that all dogs UNDERSTAND a basic “sit-stay” command. Mind you, that does NOT ensure we will actually DO it. Position us where you want us, and then the real fun begins – particularly if you are trying to photograph more than ONE dog at the same time. Position us and then slowly step back to take the photo. Now you must begin to repeat our names. Multiple times. And you must do it while changing the pitch of your voice. You should also make strange sounds. If you have a whistle or some other sound making device – like a kazoo – do it quickly and be PREPARED. It is at that INSTANT that you will get ears up and strange but adorable expressions. But the bottom line – once you have done it, you may not get that expression again. We QUICKLY catch on – and will begin to display picnore. That behavior where we KNOW you are trying to get our photo and we will do everything in our power to ignore you. We will look up. Down. We will sniff the ground. We will sniff each other.

So after your weird sound strategy, I still have another option. I might add that throughout this process, no matter if you get good photos or not, IF we stay in place, we MUST be rewarded with the yummy treats. MULTIPLE times.

Your next option, when we are COMPLETELY exhibiting picnore, is to throw something. Now this is an art in itself. My human threw a rock up in the air once and narrowly missed her own head. Did I ever mention she is not terribly coordinated? Anyway, throw the rock/stick/ wad of dirt BEHIND you. It is not advisable to use a fetch toy as this can result in a stampede – and you will be in the direct path of the oncoming traffic.

So after you take your 4 million plus photos – and I might add – do NOT look at the photos right away, while we wait because we will think the photo shoot is OVER, and we will run away. Then just TRY to round us up again.

So as you finally sit down and look through the photos, you will find the following:

· One or more dogs look happy and another looks grumpy

· One or more dogs are NOT looking at the camera

· One or more dogs has his eyes shut (THIS is Paxton’s forte’)

· One or more dogs has his tongue out – but NOT in a cute gesture

But every now and then, the more you do this, the better you will get – and you will record that perfect image.

You CAN also get candid shots of us – when we are not aware you are taking them. It is probably easier to get those shots with a real camera – my human just uses her phone for our portrait shots.

But the bottom line – you must have PATIENCE (a glass of wine before photo shoots can be helpful) and don’t forget – if you want US to say “cheese” – you had better have some on hand!

SCARECROWS. The adventure.

October 5, 2015Leave a Comment

Well I got to go on an adventure yesterday. WITHOUT my canine brothers. The rain FINALLY stopped and it was a beautiful Fall day – so my human decided to go for a drive with her mother to a town called Mahone Bay. And it was a special day in Mahone Bay – they were having their annual Scarecrow festival. The town is FILLED with scarecrows – and these are not your ordinary field variety. These scarecrows can be QUITE elaborate. The little town was JAMMED with people taking photos and walking about. So of COURSE, my human had to get some shots of me with a few scarecrows. Now this was NOT, I repeat, NOT an easy task. Because EVERYONE was trying to get photos. So my human would wait until there was a break in the action, she would whisk me up and plop me down in front of the scarecrows. Then she would beg and plead and make all kinds of strange noises to get me to look at her. Which of course, I didn’t. Not until she would repeat my name 468 times would I MAYBE glance her way. Or stick my tongue out at her. Other people would join in the “fun” and that usually worked to get my attention.

As I said, there were dozens of scarecrows, but we had to be selective which ones we picked, as they had to be worthy of the drama. We, of course, HAD to take a picture with Mary and her little lambs – or was she Little Bo Peep? Anyway it seemed fitting that a sheepdog should be with sheep. I actually paid more attention to THESE sheep than the live variety the other week.

So here are a few photos from my adventure. I can hardly WAIT until the Father Christmas festival in December. I just hope my human forgets her

camera phone.