Borzoi babes

Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy here to report on my latest infractions here at the penitentiary and also when I was out on parole in the community. But the first one wasn’t my fault….well – not totally.

So the other morning the Warden announced that she and I were going to do a workout at our favorite training center. I always know I’m going training when she puts my barrette in. She figures I see better – so I have no excuse for doing what she shows me. I on the other paw, can make up plenty of other excuses.

When she was getting ready to load me into Ludwig, I got all excited and started preforming my Schutzhund routine. Leaping and biting. Great fun in my mind. She was so busy trying to deflect my attack mode that when she let me and the Boss out the front door to pee, she forgot something. She forgot to close the hallway door. For people who follow this blog – you probably know where this is going….

The Boss and I ran out to pee and she went in the garage to get some treats for the Boss and the Coyote- since they were staying home. She came out of the garage expecting to see me and the Boss waiting there. Well the Boss was the there- and I actually ran in the door for a moment – but then took off in hot pursuit. Guess what I was chasing? The Coyote. Who was already out of sight. And THAT is why we call him a flight risk…

The Warden shouted for me – but I felt it was my duty to be sure nothing happened to the Coyote- so I kept going. The Warden threw on her coat and grabbed a leash and stepped out the door. Where she discovered that the thin coating of mist on the driveway had turned to black ice. Completely. And somehow she had to get up the driveway to go after us renegades. She treaded slowly up the hill- calling my name repeatedly and saying something like “if I fall and break a hip – you’ll be sorry!” Not exactly in those words – but along that line. She didn’t call the Coyote. She knows that’s pointless.

She cut through one neighbor’s yard as she suspected she knew where we were headed. To the home of the neighbors who have two cats. It was our mission to visit. Sure enough – as she crept into their backyard, Mike (the neighbor) shouted out the back door that we had been on the deck – but had headed around to the front of the house. He had also messaged the Warden too – but she hadn’t seen it yet. She shouted her apologies and headed around the house. She called my name and I came running – but then headed back to the Coyote who was circling their vehicles in the driveway. The Coyote bounded up to her with tail wagging as if to say “hey – what are YOU doing here? Don’t they have a great yard?!” She lassoed him and proceeded to head back home. I followed along behind. When Mike shouted out the window that he was glad we had safely been captured, yours truly didn’t know where the voice of God was coming from – so I raced at the house barking. The Warden shouted “LEAVE IT” so I figured I had better head home, and stopped attacking Mike and Pam’s house.

So that was BEFORE I got to training….

Now for the most part, training went well. Our friend Norma was there with her Borzoi, Chloe – who I know from class. And we worked well in different parts of the room, not paying attention to one another. In fact, I think we were both rather brilliant. But THEN – the humans decided we should pratice our “stays”. And this is where my good behavior took a u-turn. Norma thought her other Borzoi, Chievie, could practice with us. Well. Holy Babushka. Once I caught sight of that new-to-me Russian babe- I couldn’t take my eyes off her. The Warden warned me to “leave it,” but I misinterpreted the “it”. So I left my spot as soon as she started to walk away for the stay exercise. I walked right past Chloe – whose eyes bugged out of her head and sauntered over to this new Kremlin cutie to introduce myself – with my butt wagging at 1000km/minute.

I don’t remember much after the Warden tackled me.

So those were my infractions- all before 11:00 AM. I think it’s a new record.

The Warden had a nap when we got home. She needed it. No stamina I tell ya. But I’m working very hard to train her. It’s such a challenge some days…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.