Mr Bossy Bold Pants

Yo. Blogees. Elroy here. Ready to roll into another weekend. But really, since Her Highness retired, every day is a weekend. Mind you, her work productivity is less. But – who am I to say anything? My idea of work is actually bringing back a fetch toy.

Speaking of which, I kinda blew it the other day when it was my turn to play. Her Highness had taken each of the mops out, one at a time to do some “training.” The Boss doesn’t really need it – but Captain Chaos can certainly use it. Anyway, she decided to break out the REAL training crack – cheese strings. Even I can’t pass up one of those soft yellow-orange worm-shaped wonders. The mops go out of their minds when the lanky fromage is removed from its wrapping.

So each of them had a training turn – and then it was my turn. Not to train – but to play with Her Highness. She got a couple pieces of crack, gave the mops some kibble to keep them quiet for 10 seconds, and took me outside. The plan was to “play fetch.” At least that was HER plan. But before we began, she noticed someone had left a “monument” in the yard. She didn’t want me running through it – so she took a bag out of the ever-present supply in her dog pants pocket, and scooped up the poop. Meanwhile, yours truly was wandering around the yard aimlessly. And I was getting bored waiting. After her clean up, she excitedly showed me the crack. Cool. She had a bumper toy and she wound up and gave it a throw. I got ALL excited, practically leaped out of my skin and raced to get it. Grabbed that toy, turned around – and ran straight back up the steps and to the deck door. Her Highness repeatedly called to me – but it’s not like I listen. Cheese strings or no cheese strings – I do not like the fetch game. But we all know I could change my mind tomorrow. Picard rules. It’s also that intermittent reinforcement – you KNOW she’ll try again. She trudged up the steps and just looked at me. “Good thing you’re cute” she said as she opened the deck door.

Plus I have a story about Captain Chaos. You know, sometimes he walks around this place like he owns it. He’s all bold and full of himself. Sometimes The Boss and I need to remind him that he’s Number 3 on the seniority list.

Anyway, yesterday morning, he was out on the trail for his morning constitutional, when suddenly a neighbor came into view on the trail, coming toward him. Well, Mr Bossy Bold Pants had to do the whole mop mania thing where you bark and pull like Cujo. Her Highness moved to the side, and did the aPONology (that’s the apology PON owners give to people when the mop mania is displayed). The woman just smiled and said “have a nice walk.” After she passed by, puffy pants finished his grumbling and continued on his walk – all proud of his brave persona.

They walked quite a way and turned around to come home. Now I should mention he’s on a long leash – so as not to do any exploration in tick-ville aka the woods. There were puddles on the trail after all of our recent rain. As they were walking, Her Highness unintentionally kicked a pebble and it landed in a puddle with a kerploop. Well. Mr. Bossy Bold Pants didn’t know WHERE the kerploop came from. I think he thought there was some kind of Loch Ness monster in the puddle. He leaped off the trail and got his leash tangled around a tree. He stood there strangling himself and looking like he had been shot at. He kept eyeing the scary puddle. Her Highness released his leash from his collar in order to untangle the leash from the tree. She looked at him and said “Seriously? It was a rock in the puddle!” She shook her head at him, hooked him back up and continued on their walk. He had to give the puddle one last look over his shoulder to be sure Nessie wasn’t emerging. So while Mr Big Dog thinks he’s all mature and independent, there’s still some puppy behind all the fuzz….So we’ll continue to cut mini mop some slack – for a little while anyway.

Speaking of walks, it’s about time for mine.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

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