Howdy doooooo blogaroos. Guess who? You’re right – it’s me – Squirmy Wormy also known as Wojtek, Squirmy, nonostop and little $&@0! Yup that’s me. The indoor hurricane-tornado-tsunami dressed as a shaggy shark. And I’m here to tell you about how glorious life is – when your only worry is whether meals will be served on time.
So what’s new in our happy haven? Oh – The Boss had another Rally on class. His barking was reportedly better, but it’s My Enforcer who needs to behave. She needs to start making those rally signs her bedtime reading. Instead of those Harlequin Romance novels. Ha ha. That was my joke! Everybody knows we make her read Lassie stories to us at bedtime!
What else? Oh oh I know! So in the morning our newspaper comes in. And it’s put in a little newspaper box at the end of our driveway. Over the years, various dogs have had the job of carrying the paper home. Beamish the Labrador was a good delivery dog. Frodo thinks carrying newspapers are not his thing. He would rather be on alert for cats. Elroy lost his privilege a couple of weeks ago after two strikes. Now he wasn’t always really good at it. I mean he would get all excited when My Enforcer would toss the paper on the ground. He would race to it. And then stare at it. Like a scientist in a lab examining a weird organism under a microscope. Then he might pick it up. Only to drop it 10 feet later. But what really resulted in his firing from the delivery job, was when he dropped it. And then stepped sideways and get ready…. he peed on it!!! My Enforcer screamed “NOOOOO!!!!” Luckily it’s in a plastic bag – but then HE didn’t want to pick it up and neither did she. I think she kicked it down the driveway and onto the lawn. Then she picked it up with like one finger. If that wasn’t bad enough – he did it AGAIN two weeks later. That’s when I got to take over as paperboy.
And when I get that paper, I get all excited. I wag my butt and race down the driveway with it. BUT, then I get even MORE excited. At which point I drop it. And I begin to shred the plastic. And the paper itself if My Enforcer doesn’t grab it quickly enough. I managed to rip out half the headline the other day!
Oh oh and one other thing. We got THE best surprise from My Enforcer the other day. It came in the mail. And it was from a company called Bully Bunches. My Enforcer kept seeing ads for them on Facebook. That happens a lot. Ads for things you NEED. Like that lint removal thing she bought that doesn’t work. It would be more efficient to pull dog hair off fleece with tweezers than to use that thing in the dryer. That purchase was money well spent. Not.
Anyway, this Bully Bunches place makes chew things for dogs. Made out of a certain part of a bull’s anatomy. Yowza. Poor bull… My Enforcer bought some bully sticks at the pet store a couple of weeks ago – basically to keep us quiet and entertained for a half hour. And we all loved them. BUT oooooo-eeeeee they sure were stinky. Peeee uuuuuuu. So when Her Highness saw ODORLESS bully sticks, she figured she had nothing to lose. Except the cost of them. Well I’m here to tell you – she thinks those things are PRICELESS. We ALL chewed and chewed the Jumbo sticks and after a half hour still had plenty to go. She took them away so we could enjoy them for another day. And we did! We got the plain ones AND the braided ones. Not only did we love them, they DO NOT stink. At all. As Viktor would say, these things get 5/5 paws. We’ll be putting these on our Santa list for sure!!! Here’s the link:
And in case you’re wondering, no we didn’t get paid to endorse them. But if someone from Bully Bunches wants to send us some, we’ll happily provide our contact info. I’ll keep you posted if they do..
Well today I’m going for a handling class. I think I handle my human quite well already, but I guess they’ll show me some new tricks. Remember I went to one class before? The one where I tried to bite the instructor. Maybe I never told that story…. I was just a little over the top that day. So what else is new? Anyway, I ended up getting Canine COVID (kennel cough) at that class so I never went back. We’re going to a different instructor this time. Clean slate. And calming drugs should make this a more positive experience. The drugs are for My Enforcer. In case you thought they were for me. Ha ha. Another joke. I’m hysterical sometimes!
Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.
Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter. 