Guess who? It’s me – Squirmy Wormy!!!! I am SO excited to tell you dog readers about the coolest new trick I learned. Well – I didn’t learn it – I made it up all by myself! And you can try it and see if it works for you!!!!!

So when My Enforcer needs a break from us for 15 minutes she does one of two things. She goes in the bathroom OR she goes in this room with a gate – that the other guys call the DFZ – dog free zone. Apparently before I got here, the other guys were sometimes allowed in there. But because I don’t know the meaning of the word “settle” – I’m not yet allowed in. Now when My Enforcer goes in there, I’m initially OK with it. I find other ways to entertain myself – like chewing on the carpet or harassing the other guys. And sometimes I even fall asleep. But here’s the trick…if she’s in there AND she starts to talk on the phone – well all “quiet” behavior ends. To tell the truth, even if she’s NOT in there, but she gets on the phone – all heck breaks loose. I will throw around every metal food dish I can find. I bark and growl at the guys. But most effectively- I bark at My Enforcer. Non stop. If she’s in the DFZ, I shake the gate and shout out “enough with the phone. Lock it up!” And guess what happens next? Well because she’s on a call, she will do all sorts of things to keep me quiet. Most of which involve treats – which are distributed freely. Sometimes if the call is really important, she’ll heave a handful of kibble on the dining room floor so we can go hunting for it. The Boss gets the benefits of my bad behavior. Because the Coyote doesn’t care about hunting for treats he just watches us PONs go mad. Of course, that keeps me quiet for 53 seconds – until all the kibble is found – and then I start barking again. My barking behavior is particularly effective if she has a ZOOM call. I’m a baby. I deserve her undivided attention. At all times.

So to all my dog friends who I have never met – always remember that you are Numero Uno – so don’t let a phone call, Zoom call or FaceTime chat EVER take away your RIGHT to personal attention. And the trick to getting that attention is being vocal and protesting! Hey – I’m so free in sharing my opinions and tricks – maybe I should go into politics!!!

Nah. I’m too nice.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

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