Annoying habits…

Yo two leggeds. Elroy here. Time for your daily dose of insanity. And I’m pleased to share it.

So there is this post going around the internet with a photo of a couple sitting on a sofa. The man is staring ahead – like he is mesmerized with something. The wife or partner is glaring at him and the caption reads: Day 35 of quarantine. Can you blink a little more quietly please? Her highness thought that was incredibly funny. We just stare at her when she laughs uproariously about something she reads. And of course, she HAD to share it.

I’m sure there are a NUMBER of close households where the smallest annoyances are beginning to feel magnified by this quarantine. And in our household, it’s not the blinking but the LICKING that is driving her highness even more mad than usual. So- of course we do it even more than usual. Come on- we are just trying to keep her from becoming one with the sofa.

Our daily routine includes our morning walk – which is the first thing to happen each day. Of course this happens after her highness gets dressed. Then we come home, are fed, lick the yoghurt container, get our dose of blueberries and or bananas and THEN her highness has her breakfast. And it is at this point that the lick fest begins. There are two versions of the fest. Either we lick ourselves – OR we lick each other. The mutual licking generally involves heads. And feet. The individual licking involves…well not heads or feet. In the morning, given the choice of lick options, we usually go for the mutual licking. Her highness cannot BELIEVE how the Boss tolerates me not only licking his feet, but actually chewing the fur on the top of his feet. Now while some of you might think that’s gross, keep in mind that I have recently developed an appetite for goose poop. Yum. So PON feet are not that big a stretch.

We usually begin the fest after we see her take her first sip of coffee. To do so before caffeine would spell solitary confinement- for sure. Since this quarantine began, she sits with her sidearm right next to her. It’s a squirt gun. She has good aim and can sprinkle us from across the room. All she has to do is pick it up, and the Boss who hates water- freezes. He stops licking my ears and face. I’m not as worried about a little shower – in fact I have been known to jump in the air to catch the stream. But if there is a shower and my partner doesn’t want to play, it ruins the fun. Her highness is SO dramatic about it that she makes sure her sidearm is handy before she starts eating.

Yesterday she groomed the Boss and noted a unique trimming job on his feet. And around his head. I call it my “Fro Exotic” cut. That’s supposed to be a joke for anyone who subjected themselves to that Tiger TV show. I watched it and was hoping we might get a Tiger. Just kidding. I’d rather get sheep.

There is just ONE word of caution with lick fests. When you lick hair, you basically ingest some during the styling process. Now sometimes it will cause you to cough immediately after. But the REAL problem can result at the “other end” – if you get my drift. Yup. I had a bit of a hairy poop the other day – resulting in a cling on. AND a visit to the tub after our walk. Sorry to be graphic- but we all know that poop happens.

It’s supposed to rain or SNOW all day today. Doesn’t really bother me THAT much, but it’s a bit like walking in a funeral procession with my mentor. He’s one pitiful looking creature in the rain. It’s like his legs are made of lead. Mind you, he moves perfectly fine and at a fast pace when we are headed for home. In my experience, styling wet hair is actually easier than dry.

Well time to drag the Boss out. I just looked out the window – and there is wet SNOW. He is not going to be happy. I’ll have to give him an extra special styling job.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.