Drop it!!!!!

Frodo here. I spoke the other day about humans – and their unpredictable habit of not always communicating accurately when it comes to us dogs. Sometimes they even lie – like when her highness goes out and she announces “I’m just going to get groceries.” I am fully aware that her “grocery visit” may also include a stop at the local second hand store to look for “treasures”, as well as stops at the gas station, the book store and Starbucks. So she lies. And we know it. But not much we can do about it – except perhaps chew on the corner of a carpet.

But there are two words that humans DO communicate very clearly. And they are generally conveyed in a rapid, rather frantic manner. The words? “Drop it!” And her highness uttered them twice the other day. At moi. AND at the beatnik.

On our morning walk, we went up to the public trail. And at the trailhead, there is a garbage can. Unfortunately, not all humans have good hand eye coordination, and they sometimes “miss” the can. And this time, someone missed depositing a pizza crust.

I spotted it, but her highness did too, so she steered me in the opposite direction. The beatnik was too busy sniffing the ground for canine greeting deposits. So we started up the trail but discovered it was icy. VERY icy. And her highness had not worn her boots with the cleats. So she announced that we had to go back. We trudged along and we were just about past the garbage can. Suddenly, the picky Picard, who spits out bananas and still occasionally stares at his food bowl as if waiting for it to miraculously turn into a sirloin steak, grabbed the pizza crust. Her highness yelled out the magic words “drop it!!!” but of course, the beatnik did no such thing . In an unbelievably swift move, her highness had his mouth open and she yanked out the pizza crust from the back of his throat before he even knew what happened. She ceremoniously tossed the soggy remnant in the garbage, and wiped her hand in her attractive dog walking pants. I just watched the whole episode with fascination. He just stared in shock.

So not to be outdone, we had another incident requiring the “drop it” battle cry in the afternoon. Yes, this time it was aimed at yours truly. In the afternoon we went down to the lake. I was free and the beatnik was on leash. One wonders if he will ever be allowed to be free on our trails. Perhaps when he is 15.

Anyway, on our way down to the lake, both of us discovered the remains of some animal’s poop. And let’s just say, whoever it was had digestive issues. But that didn’t deter us from a careful examination and even a slight taste. At which point her highness screamed “noooooo.” To appease her, I went and ate some snow. Frankly, the appetizer wasn’t all that tasty.

We went to the lake and she took the 4000th photo in the same spot. She’s so predictable. We then headed back to the house, at which point, yours truly left the trail and went into the woods. Her highness could see me – but could not reach me without tree trimming equipment. The brush and branches were thick. So she could see me – and she noticed that yours truly was not only inspecting something, I was having a good chomping. She shouted the magic words “drop it.” To no avail. She repeated the words in a louder voice. As if I hadn’t heard her the first time. I wasn’t finished with my snack. By the time I came back on the trail, her face was flushed. I quickly raced on ahead of her as she shouted something about “no snacks for me.” No matter. I had already had my treat. Whatever it was.

Yes. I do know dogs who take the “drop it” command very seriously. As we should. But not the beatnik and I. Although I DO think that the effectiveness of the command is directly related to the proximity from the speaker. I HAVE been known to follow the request if her highness is within grabbing distance. But obviously, the other day, she was juuuust far enough away.

Ah yes. We like to keep her thinking and alert. No wonder she likes to take an afternoon nap. If we let her.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

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