Fake drive

Frodo here. Yesterday morning her highness had some errands to run, but she was home early in the afternoon. The beatnik and I were rather bored, even though she had taken us for a long walk early in the morning. Because we are bored, we deliberately do things to irritate her. We lick each other. And we chew on each other. Despite her pleading that we stop.

Finally, when she could no longer tolerate the chew fest, she announced that WE were going out. She opened the door to the garage and opened the rear hatch on Ludwig. The beatnik and I flew in.

We initially thought we might be headed to the public trail, but she drove past the parking lot as we shmeered olfactory art all over the side window. When we got to the end of the road, we fully expected her to turn right, to take us to the fenced ball diamond. Well – I thought that’s where we were going. The beatnik didn’t have a clue. As he sat there squeaking. But much to my surprise, she turned left. The last time I turned left, I was going to the vet. But given that it was Sunday, and I know the vet is not open on Sundays, I calmed my fear.

We drove for hours. Hours in dog time. Ten minutes in human time. And the next thing you know, she was pulling into the parking lot of a pet store where she gets some of our food. Now we WOULD have been allowed inside, but she knew what a gong show it would be to take both of us in. So she opened the windows a crack and abandoned us. Of course, yours truly immediately climbed into the driver’s seat. Proper thing. We all know who is in the driver’s seat in our house.

She returned after what seemed again like hours, and at a point where yours truly was trying to figure out how to open the door. She returned like a hunter with her game- a large bag of food AND some treats. In order to extricate me from the driver’s seat, she pulls this “trick” which, I am embarrassed to admit, I fall for every time. She “pretends” she is going to open the rear hatch – so I jump into the back. At which point she races to the driver’s side and opens that door. Clever move. When she sat down, both of us had to inspect her bounty. Imagine our delight when she opened the bag of dried sweet potato crisps. Well. My delight. The beatnik was disappointed we weren’t getting out so he spit out his crisps. Pity for him, good for me. I immediately inhaled his portions.

After that “excitement” we returned home. Big deal. She could see the disappointment on my face, so she agreed we could take a walk to the lake. We stepped out onto the lake and although we had again seen snowmobiles on the lake the day before, we all agreed with the temperature well above freezing, that the lake ice will soon be breaking up. The beatnik stood on the ice and looked around. And then he looked down. And listened. As if he could hear something below his feet. Her highness reeled him in. But of course, he proceeded to do the same thing standing in the snow. He listens. Like he hears something. The snow is not so deep that it could be a rabbit below him. Maybe a mouse? Sometimes I think he does it just to make her highness wonder. And it works.

As we walked back to the house, we were both on bunny alert. I had seen one during our morning walk – and I had attempted to catch him. Mind you, I didn’t try THAT hard, and I didn’t go far. But on my way back to the house, I would stop every 20 feet, and bark a single warning bark to alert any rabbits in the vicinity. I did that repeatedly.

Sometimes her highness just shakes her head. If I wasn’t doing that, I was rolling. Every single walk is a new adventure. One must make the most of all opportunities. To live large.

I hope YOU live a large Monday.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.

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