Runaway

Not a whole lot new around here this week. We had some snow – and her highness was leary about the ice underneath- so our exercise was on our own property. We didn’t go walking on the road.

We have two trails on our property that meet at the lake, so we basically do a circle. The FG is always on a leash or long line. Her highness doesn’t feel like chasing him through the woods. Einstein and I are usually off leash. Unless her highness has to be somewhere- then yours truly is put on a leash too. I’m generally trustworthy. Or at least I was until the other day.

It all happened because her highness made a few big mistakes. First she was stopping us every ten feet to take a photo. I have to tell you, the FG and I get bored pretty quickly. I start eating snow, and the FG starts eating branches. The only cooperative one is Einstein. So what else is new? Anyway, after playing pup-arazzi FOREVER, her highness told us it was time to go back to the house. The only problem was that she went clockwise instead of counterclockwise on the trail. And the problem with that is we end up at a certain point where we turn and go home OR we go straight and end up on the neighbors’ property. Well yours truly was tired of photos AND I knew her highness was out of treats. I was in the lead. Her highness shouted to turn right. I know exactly how to go home. And I stopped and then went full tilt straight ahead. Followed by the good dog- Einstein. Her highness must have shouted my name 485 times. “Viktor. Viktor stop. Viktor wait. Viktor treats. Viktor, you’re in trouble. VIK-TOR!!!!” Then the instructions were repeated – and this time she inserted Frodo for Viktor. Neither of us listened. Here she was shouting, racing (as much as she races) through the snow – and the tree limbs which were blocking the trail because they were covered in snow. She was getting pretty snowy as she chased us and held onto the FG’s lead as he pulled to keep up with us. Once we got to the neighbors’ house, I didn’t know what to do. They weren’t home. Of course I stopped to pee on one of their bushes, which gave her highness that window of opportunity to grab me by the collar. Except I didn’t have one on! She had brushed me earlier and had removed it. Still, she could grab ahold of my hair. One of the disadvantages of not being a Doberman. She told me to get home. And I happily trotted along. Down their driveway and onto ours. And back to the house.

Her highness was not impressed and uttered that saying I have heard 4,295 times – “Viktor, you are going to be the death of me.” She’s SO dramatic.

Anyway, I think it’s pretty clear I’m on Santa’s naughty list. I wonder if I should just concede defeat-and give up writing a list. Nah – I might as well still give it a try. I mean what’s the worst that can happen? I don’t get any presents? I’ll just take the FG’s. Just kidding. Maybe.

Her highness did mumble something about making up for my runaway action by trying on “something ” that she got at the Dollar Store. Heaven help me. This CANNOT be good if this is a penance. We’ve done antlers, Santa hats, garland, scarves and elf hats. And I even had a tree on my head. What can possibly be left….we’ll just have to wait and see.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.