We know that her highness gets these “ideas” sometimes- that are great in her mind – but which often turn out to be a bust if you ask us.
Like those brain game toys “Santa” brought us one year for Christmas. They cost a small fortune- and none of us REALLY like to play the games – we just want the treats. And we’ll destroy the games to do so. The same is true for any indestructible soft toy she has ever purchased for us. They don’t MAKE a soft toy that we can’t destroy. And remember those huge hunks of wood she BOUGHT one time. None of us chew them. We still prefer table legs.
The jury is still out on the “bargain” rain gear. I mean they keep us dry. But then she has to be prepared to walk me twice as long because I don’t like to poop wearing the suit. Yup – that was a good deal.
So when a big box arrived this week, we all wanted to see what was inside.
And the newest bargain? Paw pods. Four paw pods. Don’t know what paw pods are? Google them. They are basically dome shaped rubber things with little bumps all over them. And why would she buy paw pods? To teach the FG where his feet are. I kid you not. They are supposed to “improve your dog’s dynamic balance, independent limb awareness and coordination.” You see, when the FG moves, he floats. He looks beautiful. But when he stands still- he has no idea where his feet are. And when you are in a beauty pageant (aka dog show) , you need to look good standing still as well as moving. So she got this great idea that she could teach him where to put his feet. As soon as she took them out, Einstein and I knew we were in for some entertainment.
Well. I wish I could have operated the video on her iPhone. It would have gone viral. The instructions say that the dog should be trained to put one foot at a time on a paw pod. So her highness sequesters me and Einstein on the deck as she knew we would try to get in on the act. We watched through the glass door.
She tries to entice the FG over to the pod. He throws himself onto the floor and sniffs it. After several fruitless attempts to get him to voluntarily put one foot on, she takes his paw and puts it on. He recoils like he has stepped on a hot coal. She tries again- and gives him a treat after his foot touches the pod. By the third try, he has figured out how to make his foot go limp. So he’s not really standing on it.
So she tries another foot. Which also becomes limp. After each attempt, he runs around the dining room table and she has to catch him. This is not working.
So she pulls out a second pod. This time she straddles over him, lifts him by his front legs somehow and places his two feet on the pods. And he stands there like a statue. “Excellent,”. she shouts, “Free!” And he hops off the pods. She gives him a treat. She repeats this maneuver several times, rewarding him every time he stands there like a statue. He stands there all big-eyed – wondering what the heck he is doing.
She didn’t dare attempt to add the other two pods. She’ll need a crane to lower him onto them. We know it was the first lesson- but Einstein and I are placing bets as to whether or not she’ll get him to do this voluntarily. The FG has a mind of his own. Volunteer work is not in his resume.
Wonder how much money you can get for slightly used paw pods on EBay…..I should sell tickets to watch the next episode. Personally, I think those things would make really good chew toys…
Never a dull moment…
Have a good one. Peace and paws up.
Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter. 
Hahahaha! Tell her highness that I WISH HER LUCK!
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