Coats. Chapter 62.

Her highness heard the pouring rain while lying in bed yesterday morning. Oh great, she thought – we can try the new coats. Trust me – that is NOT what Einstein and I were thinking. Meanwhile, the wash-and-wear Picard was lounging and I think smirking in his crate.

We get up and she decides to tackle Einstein first. He sees her coming with the coat and hightails it for the dining room. She chases him around the table. He finally gives up and stands there with this forlorn look on his face. At first, she couldn’t get it on him. And I’m here to tell you- it IS simple. But remember- this is PRE coffee. She finally gets it on him and he stands there like a statue. “You can move” she says. He just stares at her.

Yours truly is next. Now we know that one of the side effects of my medication is rear end weakness. But not SO weak that I can’t balance on my back legs to countersurf. Anyway, she goes to put on the coat and suddenly, I’m like a wet noodle. Totally floppsy. I act like I can’t stand at all. My front legs are suddenly weak and so are my back legs. Ever try to put a coat on a furry, object the consistency of a large pizza? I know the imagery is strange – but picture impossible. She gets in my two front legs, puts the coat under my belly and then basically lifts me off the floor into a standing position. I must say, I wasn’t overly cooperative. She gets all four legs in and zips up the back – carefully making sure she doesn’t get any of my hair stuck in the zipper. Great. She tells me to move. I step forward a few steps, and trip. The legs on the coat are too long. But no problem – there are snaps to tighten around the legs. Perfect. She didn’t think Einstein needed his done but before we made it out the door, she realized he was having the same problem. She fiddled with all the snaps.

By this time, she is sweating. She prays she doesn’t run into anyone as her hair is standing on end and her face his dripping. She outfits herself in rain attire and off we go. Like a herd of unhappy turtles. We were not impressed.

She opens the door ready for the downpour. And guess what? Not only has the rain stopped, there is sun poking through the clouds. Perfect.

Does she take off the coats? Heck no. After that fiasco, we are wearing them no matter what. We trudge along the road.

Now the question. Will we pee and poop? There are openings in the coat for that purpose. In case you are wondering. Imagine …never mind.

Anyway, we both figure out the peeing part. That’s easy. And Einstein demonstrates that you CAN poop while wearing one. But me? Nope. We walk up and down the road. I refuse to poop while wearing a coat. We come back home and I think I’ve made my statement. But no. Her highness puts Einstein in the house (after removing his attire) and takes yours truly around the house and down the trail to the lake. I realize at this point that I’ll be wearing this coat for the rest of the day if I don’t give in – so within minutes, I produce results. Standing there in the sunshine. It was really easy to get the coat off…

Next, the FG went happily prancing out the door. No coat. No drama. No sweating. No begging. It’s not fair. We’ll see about this….I’m going to order one for him on-line….Misery loves company.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up!