Our morning.

Time for a review of the morning monologue that my human had with us the other day.  I say monologue because we don’t speak human, although Einstein is very good at bark-speak.   So here we go…

“Frodo be quiet.  Frodo I’m getting up.  Seriously – it’s 4:45.  REALLY?  You CAN’T wait until 5:15?  OK. OK. I’m up.  Now wait while I get dressed.  Viktor stop licking Frodo’s ear.  Viktor STOP.  VIK-TOR STOP!!!!!!! Frodo no wonder your ear is a mess.  Don’t let him do that to you.  Stop him.  Elroy off.  Just WAIT while I get dressed.  Give me two minutes. (which by the way is more like 10 minutes…)

OK. Frodo be quiet.  Elroy goes first.  Elroy sit.  Elroy come back here.  Elroy SIT while I put on your harness.  Elroy SIT.  Good sit Elroy.  Frodo. Viktor here is some kibble.  Frodo be quiet while we go out.  Elroy the door is open.  Go out.  GO out.  Good pooping Elroy. No.  We can’t go down the trail now.  It’s too dark.  It’s TOO dark.  Let’s go back home.  Let go of the leash.  Stop it.  I’m going to fall.  Stop it. Wait – was that a bunny (which distracts him long enough to forget about tugging on the leash). Here’s the paper.  One drop and it’s mine.  It’s mine.  Frodo be quiet. ( from outside and up the driveway she shouts.  She opens the door).  Frodo I said BE quiet.  Viktor wait. Viktor put on your harness. Sit. Good sit.  Frodo be quiet. Elroy stay.  OK let’s go. Wait. Don’t pull.  No we are not going down the trail. It’s too dark.  That’s what you get for waking me up so early.  Good pooping Frodo.  Hurry up Viktor.  Good pooping again Frodo. Hurry up Viktor.  Frodo are you kidding me?  What were you eating?  Again?  Viktor hurry up.  VIK-TOR HURRY UP.  Good pooping Viktor.  Finally.  Let’s go home.  Whoa slow down.