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Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy never-slow-down Wormy here today on another merry Monday.

We survived all the bad weekend weather, and we are all able to go to the lake once again. The path is kinda packed down snow and not super icy, because a dusting of snow fell after the freezing rain. So it’s walkable. While the Warden tends to sink a bit in spots, we canines are doing just great! I LOVE hard snow. All the better for racing and rolling.

Although we are now able to go on our trails to the lake, we have been walking a bit less distance overall the past week or two because of the conditions. So, as a result, I have energy just bubbling over. Sure, we do our daily training and we are allowed to play in the backyard again, now that it’s not a sheet of ice, but my battery is still way overcharged. Bully sticks provide a bit of stationary exercise, and following the Warden every time she moves exerts a bit more energy, but she’s been looking for other things to occupy my time. Besides licking the Boss’s head and ears. So – the snuffle mats have reappeared. And now the Boss and I get our meals via the snuffle mats. Before, the Warden would give us our food and before she even started to get her coffee ready, we were finished eating. Now, she can actually get a few minutes to prepare her breakfast. Meanwhile, the Coyote leisurely eats his meals sequestered in the hallway. From a bowl.

Initially, She was just feeding us breakfast via snuffle and supper from our bowls, but now we even get that meal delivered via snuffle. The Warden will take every minute of respite that she can get.

The life of a PON pretty much revolves around mealtime and treats. In our household, the Boss gets medicine in the morning and at supper time. And there has to be an hour between when he gets his medicine and when he can eat. He knows EXACTLY when 60 minutes are up – and he doesn’t even wear a watch! He gets all antsy when the time is up, and he squeaks and stares at the Warden. And since he starts squeaking, that’s my cue to start wrestling with him. That’s MY way of reminding the Warden that we NEED to eat.

Yup, we dogs rule the day. In EVERY household, including the REAL Queen’s. Yup even the Queen of England has dogs that do what they want. Notice in the clip, she says “I know what you want.” Ten bucks,or should I say ten pounds, says it’s either a treat – or mealtime.

https://youtu.be/zimjOUO-a_I

Lately, the Boss also gets antsy when he feels it’s time for bed. Because we get a biscuit right before bedtime. Sometimes he starts squeaking as early as 9PM, because he’s done with guard duty for the day, and he just wants his biscuit and to go to bed. And trust me – he can be persistent. The other night, the Warden couldn’t take it any more, so at like 9:15, she announced “OK – we’ll go to bed. But I’m still going to do some reading in bed!” Blah blah – he didn’t care. He got his biscuit just when he wanted it. The advantages of being a bossy senior.

OK. Almost time to get this party started.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe!

Yo. Blog people. Elroy here for your reading today. We’re about to go out and see the results of freezing temperatures overnight. Yesterday we had rain and freezing rain all day. None of us were overly thrilled about going out. Especially the Boss. But we did manage to do our morning walks before the freezing set in. So it was plain rain.

The Boss was miserable with the rain and puddles, and to top it off, he had a goopy ear. I think that’s the medical term for it. The cause of goopy ear? The Imp. He licks the Boss’s head and ears – despite Her Highness’s commands to stop. So all that licking resulted in one messy, goopy ear. Luckily, Her Highness knows what to do – AND she had some ear drops to help it clear up. Yeah, the Boss woke up scratching his ear, panting, shaking his head – he’s a real drama king. After his quasi-veterinary treatment in the garage, and after much moaning and groaning – he was much better. Until he realized it was raining out.

So according to the crazy calendar, today is National Fart Day. Seriously. No Picard Day, or PON Day, but a day to celebrate farts. Not much to celebrate if ya ask me. This topic is one we’ve covered before- and one that Her Highness’s mother always despised. She’s no doubt looking down and rolling her eyes that we’re at it again.

If ya want to read about dog farts, here’s a good article:

https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/health/how-to-stop-dog-farts/

There are loads of dog fart videos, but I suspect that many are fake. I mean how did the person taking the video KNOW that the dog would fart? Unless the dog has a REALLY big problem. Anyway, here’s a fake fart video – where we KNOW it’s fake:

https://youtu.be/v36hPj2z8DM

I personally think it would have been funnier to see human reactions….

In other equally gripping news, according to our research, on this day in 1981, somebody in Australia made the world’s biggest batch of Jello using 9,246 gallons of watermelon flavoring. Humans can do strange things. But we know that. Anyway, we canines can’t eat real Jello because it has too much sugar and other stuff in it. BUT – we CAN eat unsweetened gelatin, and because I knew you would want this (yawn) we found a salmon-blueberry dog jello recipe. Check it out:

https://www.prouddogmom.com/diy-salmon-jello-dog-treat-recipe/

Not sure I would eat it. Depends on the day. No doubt the mops would inhale it. Personally, I think there’s no point in slaving over a stove to make them fancy treats – they don’t even stop to taste the stuff. Just throw the salmon and blueberries in their bowls and skip the jello part. Follow me for more recipes.

OK. Gotta go on patrol and to check out the weather conditions. Been some pheasants hanging out on our acreage, so time to go and bark at them. Sometimes I bark even if they’re not there. Just to warn them not to come. Pretty clever, eh?

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Howdy blogaroos. Well it’s the third of February. Which means 2-2-22 is over and so is the day when we celebrate those squirrels on steroids – the Groundhog. And it seems the famous weather prognosticators had some different forecasts depending where you live. Like Puxatawney Phil, in Pennsylvania said that area would be getting 6 more weeks of winter. Meanwhile, Wiarton Willie, in Ontario said those folks would be getting an early spring. Lucky them. Our very own Schubenacadie Sam agreed with Phil – and gave us the gloomy news of more winter ahead. Yuck.

Yesterday the Warden thought that since the day had warmer temperatures, that maybe we could try that walk to the lake. I raced and hopped like a maniac. The Coyote was on leash so he couldn’t go far or fast. The Boss walked behind the Warden in her moon boot footprints. The Warden regretted the journey when we got to the lake – because it’s all up hill to get back to the house. I thought I might have to get a sled to pull her back. Not to mention the fact that as we were leaving our fenced area next to the house, she hit this metal thing that keeps the gate closed, full force with her knee. I actually thought the walk might have been over. But she continued, because she didn’t know what was worse to endure – a sore knee, or an extra-bored me – because I really NEEDED a run. She chose the knee.

In other news, according to the crazy calendar, today is International Golden Retriever Day. Really. It started in 2011 by some woman who had a Golden and who said “if there can be an Eat Cherry Pie Day, why can’t there be a Golden Retriever day?” She picked February 3, because it happened to be her Golden Retriever’s birthday.

Goldens have been in the top ten popularity lists in the US and Canada for years and years. The Warden’s parents had one when she was an adult and no longer living at home. Actually, the Warden and her sister, Sue did the one thing that you should never do- they bought their father a puppy for Christmas. Yup. They found an ad in the paper, picked up the puppy and surprised him. He was initially not impressed. He had been so sad when they lost their Irish Setter after 15 years, that he said “no more dogs.” But in typical fashion, his loving daughters didn’t listen to him. Yes- he was upset. For about 10 minutes. He named him Midas – and they were best buddies for another 15 years.

Their Mom wasn’t initially excited about the idea of another dog either, but she WAS in on the Christmas surprise. And truth be told, she kinda liked him too…

So in honor of International Golden Retriever Day, I found a super duper video I think you’ll like. Even if you’re not a Golden person (do such people exist?) I think you’ll find this funny:

https://youtu.be/FT-qDSxRv14

I don’t think there is an International PON day. I think Viktor tried to start one when like 5 people were reading this blog. So the idea never flew. I don’t think the Picards have an International Day either. But hey – Labradors have a day too -January 8! Oopsie- missed that one. I couldn’t find a day for Bernese, and boxers could claim Boxing Day- but they don’t have an official one either. But wait – pugs do! You can let me know if other breeds have “a day.” Who knew it was a thing?!

Well, time to get my daily party started. I hope your day is perfectly golden!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy Wormy here on another terrific Tuesday. And guess what else today is? Why it’s February 1st!!! So the 45 days of January are OVER!!! Yee haw!

So we survived the snowstorm – and you MIGHT think we would be all happy with the fluffy white stuff. But no- we’ve been pretty miserable. Why? Well we had lots of snow. Which is great. And the plow guy came to save us from being trapped until Spring. By the way, when he comes, we all shout out our instructions as to where we want the snow moved. The Boss starts. And the Coyote and I follow along. It’s kinda loud here until he leaves. Anyway, he did a super job. BUT, after he created our mountains and cleared the driveway, it rained. Not for really long, and it was kinda freezing rain. And do you know what THAT means? Two things: luge run driveway AND a thick crust on the snow. Now that thick crust MIGHT be fine for a dog who weighs as much as a bird, but that doesn’t describe anyone in this house. So when we go out, our feet break though the crust and then we sink in the snow up to our chest. On Sunday morning when the Warden attempted to take us to the lake, we didn’t get far at all. I got the furthest. I figured out how to hop and then sploot on top of the crust. I was trying to distribute my weight. In the meantime, the Coyote, who doesn’t generally mind snow but who hates the snow if it’s TOO cold, stood paralyzed. The Boss wanted nothing to do with any part of the adventure. He took one look at the trail and turned around and trudged back to the house. He promptly pooped on the driveway while trying to keep from sliding.

Since then we’ve had cold temperatures, so the crust has not melted. It’s no fun. And although the driveway has seen some salt, there’s no point trying to walk us up to the road because THAT is also like a skating rink. So walking on it is taking a big risk if a car comes along. So we stay home. And trust me – that can get pretty boring. Sure we do our training, and play games, but we have no good toys to play with because ummmm… they are all buried under the snow. The Warden was desperately searching the house and garage yesterday to find anything to keep us amused. Besides licking each other’s heads. We’ve finished every bully stick we had, and the cool super tough rubber bones we got for Christmas we can’t have because yours truly was able to break off pieces.

So like when I get bored, if I’m not styling the Boss’s hair or wrestling with the Coyote, I walk. Around the dining room table. Down the hall, around the dining room table, into the front hall, around the kitchen, around the dining room table….In the meantime, the Coyote starts pawing at the deck door. The Warden opens it and he just stands there, breathing in the fresh, freezing air. He has no intention of going out. I should mention that this is happening while the Warden is attempting to eat breakfast. This is after we’ve all been out to do our business, after we’ve had OUR breakfast and after we’ve devoured our frozen Kongs. At one point yesterday, when both the Coyote and I were staring at the deck door she opened it and said out. When we both stood in the doorway, she pushed us out. The Boss just rolled his eyes and headed for the treat jar. He figured it was a good opportunity to beg – given that both of us were out.

So do you think we went out to play? To look for squirrels? To birdwatch? I mean we both wanted out. Nope. As soon as that door was shut, we sat down and stared inside, creating olfactory art on the glass. The Warden tried to ignore us. But she’s easily guilted into letting us in. She got up and we marched back in. The Coyote went to lie down, and I proceeded to get in my 10,000 steps.

The Warden says that living with us is sometimes like having two year old triplets. Who just ate too much sugar. And who didn’t sleep the night before.

It looks like it might rain later in the week. I doubt it will be enough to melt all the snow – but maybe the crust. In the meantime, I’m not sure HOW that groundhog is going to make his way out tomorrow. And I don’t know WHAT the forecast will be if he can’t even get out. Six more solid weeks of this, and the Warden will be needing a vacation. I think that’s a great idea – as long as we get to go along!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Howdy doody blogaroos. Happy Sunday from snowville. Yup – we got snow yesterday. LOTS of snow. And then we had freezing rain. A perfect stay at home day. Yowza. The plow guy made huge piles for us to sled on. If we had a sled.

Do you know who is celebrating a birthday today? Nope – not the Boss. His was yesterday. We had leftover steak from the first fake birthday. He didn’t care.

Anyway, today is the birthday of FDR – Franklin D Roosevelt- the 32nd President of the US. Apparently FDR, who I’ll call Frankie, loved dogs. I have no knowledge about Frankie’s political record or whether people liked him ( although he was President for 12 years so I guess they did) but all I care about is whether or not he was a dog guy. Well- he was. Here’s info about him- and you can click on the various dogs he was owned by – including Scottish Terriers, an Old English, a Llewelyn setter, a Great Dane, a Bullmastiff, and a German Shepherd.

https://www.presidentialpetmuseum.com/presidents/32fr/

So blah, blah that’s not the really interesting part. But I DID find out something interesting- based on my Presidential research. Get this. FDR had a German Shepherd named Major. And get this. Major was a bit hmmmmm… assertive. And Major not only nibbled at some people – he ripped the seat of the pants from a visiting dignitary!!! The British Prime Minister needed a new pair of pants after Major was through with him. Yikes. After that incident, Major went to “live elsewhere”. Well hello – deja vu! Didn’t we recently talk about the fact that the current POTUS – also had a Shepherd, named Major, who nibbled at some staff and had to leave the White House!! How come this hasn’t been on the news?’ Clearly this is a weird coincidence!!! Plus NOW, the Bidens also got…cough… a cat. I guess Willow (the cat) will be a new buddy for Commander – their new Shepherd puppy. Things could get VERY interesting in the White House. Wish I was there to add to the chaos.

In other overly exciting news, I was very well behaved in class on Friday. The Warden thought I was starting to mature. Until the next morning when I raced 43 times around the dining room table, and ricocheted off walls and other canines before we went for our morning walk. OK. So I’m not fully mature.

Speaking of walks, it’s about that time. Better put on my boots and snow pants….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Howdy blogaroos on a fantastic Friday. Well – at least it is so far- we’re supposed to get another weather bomb this weekend. Rain, snow, ice, wind and might as well throw in some thunder and lightning just to keep things really interesting. Good thing we don’t mind thunder in this house – because we actually have had some during the snow storms in the past few weeks. Weird.

Well, I think we have officially driven the Warden crazy. In fact, we have so driven her to distraction, that she made a big boo boo the other day. So ya know the whole 12th birthday celebration for the Boss the other day? All the photos. All the accolades. All the well wishes – thanks for those! Well it seems our esteemed Warden goofed. Yes – it IS the Boss’s 12th birthday. BUT – it’s not until TOMORROW. She made the mistake easily. It’s on her calendar. Except she made the calendar- and she got the date wrong!!! I knew she needed new glasses. She put down 26 instead of 29 – which is his REAL birthday.

Anyway, the fake birthday bash was fantastic. It included extra walks, games – AND she cooked up a steak just for him! Mind you, the Coyote and I got some too. The Warden made the Boss share.

We sang Happy Birthday and then she doled out the steak. Although the Boss got the most (rightly so) we didn’t get the WHOLE thing. Having soupy poops from too much of a good thing would kinda stink after a party. Literally. Plus we know how the Boss hates baths – so that would totally have ruined the celebration. So we’ve been sharing leftovers since the fake birthday. I’m hoping she cooks up another hunk of beef tomorrow- since that’s the REAL day. We’ll see.

So we’ve had some super duper frosty frigid temperatures the past few days- and as we mentioned, the lake is frozen SOLID. Of course, the Warden has been trying to get photos of us out there – but trust me – it’s NOT easy. The Boss and I would rather roll, and the Coyote would rather do anything else. Lick the snow, stare at the sky, stare at the woods, chew on ice – he’s not an easy model. But the Warden managed to get a couple of shots last night before the sun went down. As soon as she said “free”, yours truly made a mad dash for her walking stick – and took off with it.

She uses the stick in the winter when our trails are icy. Well – I had no intention of bringing that stick back, and dodged and ducked every time she tried to grab it. And you would think it would be easy – it’s pretty long. Mind you- she was on ice. She finally gave up and started up the trail with the Coyote and the Boss. I waited a bit and then tried to race past her on the path. Busted. She grabbed the stick and just looked at me. I jaunted on my merry way.

Well that’s the news from this corner of the world. I have class today – and I’ve been working hard so we’ll see whether I remember what to do when I get there. No matter what – I’ll be sure to entertain!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Well howdy blogaroos- happy hump day!

So I have some fun facts to share with you today about a number. And the number is 12. There are lots of things associated with the number 12. Check them out here:

https://www.thefactsite.com/twenty-one-facts-about-number-12/

But why do we care about the number 12? What’s the big deal? It’s because it the Boss’s 12th birthday!!!!!! Yee haw! The Boss has hit the dirty dozen!!! He is officially the second oldest dog the Warden has ever been owned by. Her first – Barney, the pound puppy lived to 17.5 – so the Boss has a few more years to beat the record. And we’re pulling for him.

This is the Boss’s 8th birthday celebration on the blog!!!! Lots of incessant barking over all those years. Lots of guarding against all things that could threaten our home – including rabbits, cats and nice neighbors. Yup – he officially owns our road. Always has. Always will. At least in his mind! He will defend his turf at all costs – unless there’s a puddle or wet grass in the way.

He has been an outstanding puppy role model – raising Viktor…

Elroy…

And me…

He still holds the record for most ribbons won in this household in beauty pageants and in performance events. He loves to perform- so has recently come out of retirement to get back in that rally ring. Whether he ever gets another ribbon or not is irrelevant – he and the Warden just have fun doing it – and that’s what really counts. This photo is an oldie which shows what he earned in a single year!

The Boss also holds the title for most willing photo model – and he has been called Frodo-genic. Here’s just a few shots from this past year:

His favorite hobby, besides eating and training (which involves treats) is rolling. He’s a pro…

Despite all training attempts, the Warden has never been able to reduce the Boss’s love of “singing”. Well, maybe not singing – a better word is yelling. He yells out breakfast and dinner instructions. Every. Single. Day. He yells when the Warden takes someone else out for a walk. Even when he has already been out. He yells when the Warden steps in the shower. Just because. He yells at me and the Coyote if we bug him too much or if our horsing around is getting out of control. He’s the fun police.

The Boss could also win the prize for THE most dramatic dog in this household- at least when it comes to grooming. He pants like he has run a marathon, and squeaks like he is totally being tortured. He could win an Oscar for his performance. But not to worry – he rebounds when they are done. He shakes himself off, and promptly rolls.

He’s definitely the smartest guy in the house, and he can be quite serious, but he does have a sense of humor…

We’ve said it before that although Viktor started this blog, there probably wouldn’t have been a blog if not for the Boss. He was the Warden’s first PON – and she was smitten. She thought ALL PONs would be super easy to train – like the Boss. So that’s why she got Viktor! Viktor and I have often challenged the easy-to-train theory – but we do have a good role model to follow. I’m even working on his yelling skill – he has taught me well!!!

We know the Boss has a heart condition for which he takes medication. But his last check up was great – and he has as much energy as ever. He has some lumps and bumps – but what seasoned dog doesn’t? He doesn’t like me calling him a senior. Although he did say he does play the senior card when he goes to the pet store to get discounts.

So Happy Birthday to my bold, brilliant and barky “brother.” May your happy, healthy days continue and may you continue to incessantly share your wise instructions! You’re our hero and we all love you very, very much!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Howdy doody blogaroos! Squirmy here on a terrific Tuesday. After a mediocre Monday. No- nothing bad happened- but it was kinda boring because we didn’t go for our run to the golf course in the morning. We had a dusting of snow the night before- just enough to camouflage the patches of ice still in the driveway. The Warden was worried about sliding, so we had to “do our thing” in the yard again. How boring was that. She did take the Boss up to get the paper – because he’s good off leash so no chance of being dragged on ice. Plus when they get halfway up, she tells him to wait – and he does. She was wondering yesterday if I’ll ever become that obedient. Don’t count on it.

We did do our runs to the lake later in the afternoon. I’ve discovered that it’s kinda cool to walk on ice. I don’t go far out – because the Warden calls me to come back. We heard some motorized vehicles on the ice the other night – so it must be pretty strong. Still, we don’t go far out.

This will be a quick blog because I’m busy preparing for tomorrow. It’s a super special day – so tune in tomorrow to read all about it.

Just one quick other note. So I have a new sport. You know that kid’s game of leap frog where kids vault over the one another while one is stooping over? There’s probably an app for it now. Anyway, I tried the game – over the Warden.…

So we do a training session every evening. We go down into the rec room where she has moved around the furniture and we practice my rally and obedience moves. The Boss does too. But we do it one at a time, because it’s chaotic to try and do anything with two of us (or three of us) at once. Except for sit stays and down stays. That we can all do together.

Anyway, the Boss had his session first and then it was my turn. I’m absolutely perfect at home. Not so much at class. I haven’t “generalized” my skills just yet.

So when we were done training, the Warden went in the other room and appeared with a toy I haven’t seen since I was little. A stuffed bear – who has no stuffing. Well. I went crazy for that toy. I tugged and spun and twisted with that thing and was having a ball. The Warden tossed the bear and I raced to get him and brought him back for more tugs. I was having a blast. The Warden tossed the bear again and as I ran to get him, for some not-well-thought-out reason, she decided to sit on the floor. I ran back with the bear, but felt this was a great time to play leap frog and attempted to ricochet off and over her shoulders. Luckily she saw what I was about to do so she put up her arms to kinda stop me and she kinda rolled. I thought that meant I should roll on her too. Let’s just say my play style is like a bull in a china shop. A blind bull who has been stung by a bee, Heck – I can’t be trusted around her when she bends over to tie her shoes – graceful and slow moving are not words used to describe me. In fact, now when she puts on or takes off footwear, I have to remain in a sit stay so as not to cause a concussion.

But back to the demolition derby play session. The Warden was able to wrestle me and to get back the bear – without any major sprains or fractures. She tossed the bear again across the room and after I got him, I again attempted my football defense moves combined with the leap frog game. Needless to say, the Warden didn’t stay on floor for long. I had a blast.

OK. Time to go and get ready for tomorrow. It’s a BIG day! Stay tuned!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Howdy blogaroos! Squirmy Wormy here with another addition of your Sunday funnies.

Not a whole lot new here. I had class on Friday and I did great. The Warden – not so much. I have a lot of training to do with her. To begin with, most people hold their leashes in their left hands in rally and obedience. Not the Warden. She’s always held the leash in her right hand. So when our trainer suggested she switch to the other hand – she couldn’t walk. Really. She got all discombobulated- and I didn’t know WHAT she was doing. Anyway, she’ll try the left hand – but I’m not so sure it will work. Old habits are hard to break.

Otherwise, our COVID lifestyle continues. Kinda boring, but safe. We haven’t seen another human without a mask since Sue and Keith were here!

So since our household is blah, I turned to the news. Here’s a story about a dog in the UK who got lost. Millie was spotted in some marshlands and it was feared she might drown when the tide came in. Check out how they lured Millie to safety.

https://youtu.be/Dx0WXSl6yMo

Like I say – “Treats talk.” No matter how they are delivered.

What else. Oh. Today is National Handwriting Day. I bet you that kids today won’t know how to write – they start using electronic devices for communication before they even go to school. Does anybody even practice handwriting today? I think it’s probably Handwriting Day because it also happens to be the birthday of John Handcock. I think he started an insurance company. Wait. The Boss said he was the first guy to sign the Declaration of Independence in the US. He had a big fancy signature. That’s why people say “give me your John Handcock.” Or at least they used to. Back 100 years ago when the Warden was a kid.

I was going to try and write my name in the snow with pee, but so far, I can only do the “o.” Doesn’t matter – one whiff and other dogs can read my name just fine.

Here’s a totally silly video of a guy (who obviously has too much time on his hands) who tries to get his dog to write his name. Good thing the dog only has a 3-letter name..

https://youtu.be/4GkytPLflGM

Today also happens to be the birthday of Eduard Manet. The French Impressionist painter. This next article is kinda long for me, and I wouldn’t have included it, but the Boss suggested that some readers might like to know about Manet’s paintings of dogs. Yawn. So here it is. I just looked at the pictures:

https://greg.org/archive/2020/07/24/manet-paints-dog.html

The Boss and I went for our run on the golf course yesterday, and all was fine until we were ready to leave the course. It was FREEZING cold and the Warden didn’t want to keep her mittens off for long. So she put down three full poop bags, quickly latched our leashes while simultaneously holding, on her wrist, another bag – with 6 golf balls that yours truly had found in the woods. She put the Boss on a leash that attaches to her waist. She decided to try it with him because he walks nicely. In general.

Anyway, as soon as she got us all leashed, she put her mitts back on , and picked up the poop bags, yours truly decided to roll. And I mean roll. I got myself totally tangled in the leash. So down went the poop bags and off came the mitts again. She wrestled with me to free me from the leash. She freed me, put the mitts back on, picked up the poop bags took three steps at which point the bag with the golf balls broke sending balls rolling on the icy path. It was at that point that some words I didn’t even know she would say, came out of her mouth, like a zombie that needed an exorcism. I sure hope nobody heard her!

Meanwhile, the Boss who was latched to her waist just stood and stared at her. She took the mitts off, put the poop bags down, gathered the balls and shoved them in her pockets, made sure I wasn’t tangled, put her mitts on picked up the poop bags and off we went. It was a glorious walk.

Speaking of which, it’s almost that time!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Howdy blogaroos!!! Squirmy Wormy here to mark the start of your weekend! Yup – it’s Fri-yay for many working folks. Here, every day is like Fri-yay. But we still celebrate the real one – because it’s my school day.

So what’s new here? Besides me driving the Warden crazy. And boy – I did a super job the other night!

You see… it all started with a gift. For Christmas, a friend and blog reader – Roni- sent the Warden an Amazon gift card. It was a lovely surprise! So of course, the Warden had to get something for me! OK. She didn’t HAVE to get something for me – but this gift was kinda for both of us.

You see, I’ve been back in my crate at night – because, well I don’t know the word “settle.” So, in order for the Warden to get SOME sleep, the Coyote and I are in our crates. The Boss is free- because he KNOWS how to settle. Sure, he jumps on the bed, but he doesn’t attempt to chew on pillows or sleep on the Warden’s chest. He also doesn’t use the bed as a trampoline – jumping on and off repeatedly. Now I settle down in my crate – BUT, because I have no crate pad, when I move around, I make a LOT of noise. Just like the Coyote did before he got his huge, massive crate pad.

So. When the Warden got the lovely gift, she thought she would treat BOTH of us and get me a crate pad. I got all excited when she took it out of the box from Amazon. Only problem – it’s a little fuzzy – so I just wanted to drag it around and attack it. The Warden decided to put it away until bed time.

So. Bedtime came and as usual I ran into my crate to get the last of my 427 treats for the day. The Warden put the carabiner on the door (since I know how to get out), and she went to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. When she returned from the bathroom, the Coyote was chillin’ in his crate, the Boss was sprawled out on his side of her bed, and yours truly was just sitting in my crate. The Warden got into bed and was doing some reading for a bit, and after a few minutes, she looked at me, and noticed I was still sitting there. Like a statue. She told me to lie down. I sat and stared at her. I honestly didn’t know what to do with my new furnishing. The Warden thought if she turned the light out, I might lie down. She put her book down and picked up her iPad to read it in the dark. She read stuff on there – and kinda shone the light from the iPad on me. Still sitting there. Like a garden statue. She again said “lie down.” I didn’t move a muscle. So she figured maybe I needed to go out. So she grabbed her slippers and her robe and opened my crate door. I took a flying leap for her bed. “Oh no you don’t!” she said. She went and grabbed a leash and took me outside. I did a perfunctory pee, and that was it. I mean no urgency and certainly no Niagara Falls either. So we marched back in, and she directed me into my crate and secured the door. She got into bed and turned out the lights. But because two leggeds have this weird spidey sense, she didn’t go to sleep. Although she PRETENDED to be asleep. Complete with fake snoring. After about 10 minutes, she looked at me. Garden statue. Flip the lights go on. She tells me to lie down. I stare at her. She says “lie down” again. I stare at her like when she was speaking gibberish. This time she finally smartened up. You know the saying “Money talks.” Yeah well here’s MY saying “Treats talk.” She marched into the kitchen, with the Boss in hot pursuit, came back into the bedroom, showed me the treat, and said “LIE DOWN.” In that tone that spells a little bit of frustration. I hit the deck. She gave me the treat.

Once I actually did lie down, I was good for the night. I was exhausted from sitting like a sloth who got into crazy glue. I slept ALL night. With no banging or clanging! I attempted a command performance last night, but the Warden didn’t fall for it. She turned out the light, and I quickly settled into my new bed, We dogs are huge creatures of habit, so change takes adaptation – even when it’s a comfortable change! As you may recall, the Coyote wouldn’t even go IN his crate when he first got his crate pad. Now, he loves it.

Hey – today is something called “one liner day.” One liners can be a joke – or a statement that is memorable – like from a famous person or even a movie. Things like “Go ahead – make my day.” Some are funny and some are serious. What’s weird is that they’re called one liners. But some have two lines. Go figure.

Anyway, we found some funny dog related one liners like these:

My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard and earned an online college degree. -Anonymous

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? … it’s hardly ever for them. – Harry Hill

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m The Beatles. – Bill Maher

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you. -Mary Bly

Then some are just nice like these:

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. -Christopher Morley

Happiness is a warm puppy. – Lucy van Pelt (Charlie Brown’s friend)

And of course we have MY famous one liners:

Bark. Because you can.

When in training, faking a lack of understanding results in more treats so fake it baby fake it.

Good things come to those who sit under a baby’s high chair.

An open refrigerator door is an invitation to come on in.

If you want to have some fun, count the number of poop bags your human has in their pocket before you go out. Poop that many times plus one.

And my own version of some movie classics:

I thing we’re gonna need a bigger … treat jar…

There’s no place like …a butcher shop.

There’s no crying in … obedience trials.

And like I said earlier- the line that is my mantra: Treats talk.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Oh – and if you’re feeling like you need some more one liners today – just because, here are some pretty funny ones. They’re not dog related (yawn) but the Warden said they’re funny. Enjoy. And groan.

https://parade.com/1040121/marynliles/one-liners/amp/