Here at the infirmary

Howdy blogaroos. Squirmy here on hump day. Unless you’re retired. Then it’s plain old Wednesday.

So the Boss has found a competitor for the title of household drama king – the Coyote. Holy heck – that guy knows how to milk pity better than the Boss on the grooming table.

The Coyote went to the vet for a broken nail on Monday and he came home drunk with a bandaged foot. He was super dopey – all he wanted to do was sleep. He didn’t want supper and while I offered to help him clean out his bowl- the Warden said no. He slept well that night but unfortunately had a case of soupy poops the next morning- probably due to stress. That dude totally stresses about going to the vet. The Warden had given him prescribed medication 2 hours before they went – which was supposed to calm him down -but it clearly had no effect on him. She literally had to coax/drag him into the building. Once in, he squeaked continuously like a rusty hinge on a peed-on garden gate.

The whole procedure was pretty quick. He was in and out in less than an hour but boy he was zonked. He was one wobbly dude.

Yesterday morning, after the soupy event, he seemed perkier – but he still wanted no breakfast. While he was at the vet, she did routine bloodwork as part of a general wellness check. She got back to the Warden yesterday to let her know that all looked good. BUT, the Warden had also paid for a routine pee analysis. So- she needed to collect that. Oh my. That involved some military-like planning and execution. What unfolded was like a scene from a sitcom movie. We’re talking a cross between Top Gun and I Love Lucy.

First off, yours truly was sequestered – because she didn’t want me out there during operation pee collect. First, she rifled through the kitchen draws and found an old Dollar store soup ladle – that could be disposed of after the operation. She also dug out a clean,unused vial from some previous trip to the vet, some rubber gloves and a resealable plastic bag. She was equipped and ready to go. Out they went – with the Boss tagging along to watch the proceedings. The actual collection involved some aerobic moves in order for her to catch the pee without dousing herself. And it went surprisingly well! She was pretty pleased with her technique. She put the liquid gold in the vial, disposed of the ladle, threw away the gloves- and figured she was all set. But then, in her typical over-analyzing way, she started second guessing if there was enough. So – she decided to get more. She prepared the equipment for a second round, got more gloves, another crappy Dollar store ladle (why she had two I don’t know) and took the Coyote back out. She should have quit while she was ahead.

No worries about getting another sample – that guy is a never-ending source of pee. She got herself in position to collect and was successful- but as she removed the ladle from the stream, he put his leg down and hit the ladle – spilling half the collection. Yikes. Then went she went to pour the small sample into the vial – and she spilled half of it. On her boot. She walked over to a snowbank, holding the leash with the depressed Coyote, trying to balance the vial while putting on the lid and she shoved her boot in the snow. She came close to falling over -holding high the precious vial like it was the Olympic torch. Honestly- you can’t make this stuff up. Anyway, she took what she had, and said “good enough.” The Boss watched the whole thing and just rolled his eyes. He then headed over to the lawn to roll on some hard packed snow. All the while I was shouting out continuous instructions from inside the house.

The Warden loaded the Coyote in the car to go with her to the vet – so she could keep an eye on him. She didn’t want him pulling off the bandage. In fact, I had to miss my weekly date with the Borzoi babes – because she didn’t want to leave cranky gimpy at home.

He was sleepy all day – but he DID eat supper. He is supposed to keep the bandage on until today. And he wasn’t supposed to get it wet. So that operation involved a plastic bag and vet wrap to keep the bag on. Great fun.

Hopefully when they take it off today, all will look good – and the Coyote won’t bother with it. Hopefully.

The Warden was kind of shocked that yours truly didn’t attempt surgical removal for him. For a change – I didn’t bug him. I could see he wasn’t happy – so besides a few licks to his head, I didn’t even sniff his foot.

Not much else new here in the infirmary. Today we have a bit of rain in the forecast. We had a blustery night – it started as snow and quickly changed to rain. The Boss is not impressed. Plus Mr Baggy Foot will need to suit up again this morning. At least he’s not being followed, though, by a woman with a soup ladle.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

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