Routines

Yo. Blog readers. Elroy here for your pleasing reading today. It’s Tuesday. Which means tonight is Her Highness’ least favorite night of the week. Why? Because Wednesday is garbage day. So that means tonight she gets to drag the cans up the driveway to the road. Such drama. Like the Boss when he has to be brushed. She avoids it until she has no other choice. I mean it’s not like one of us is going to do it. Even taking one of us on leash while she drags the cans is a challenge. The little mop tries to herd the can. Walking behind her and getting all tangled up. I RUN as fast as I can – causing her to run with the can – which often causes it to tip. Not a good scene. The Boss is the most civilized. He can actually be off leash in the procession. Unless it’s dark out. Then Her Highness worries about critters – so he has to be tethered. Yup – we each have our own garbage can behavior and our own routines. Which is also true for the newspaper…

Each morning, the paper is delivered to a little box at the end of our driveway. And just like the unique garbage can parade, the paper also has its own unique delivery routine. First off, the “good dog” – the Boss, refuses to carry it. He feels it is beneath him. Sure, he’ll fetch and carry toys-but the paper? Nada. Yours truly is totally unpredictable when comes to the paper. I won’t take it if Her Highness hands it to me. She has to throw it on the ground. Then I race to it, and stare at it like a scientist examining a specimen under a microscope. I just stand and stare. And stare. But if Her Highness tries to pick it up, I grab it. I prance with it for a few feet, toss it in the air and then stare at it when it lands. Typically, I do this three times before Her Highness grabs the paper and says “game over.” She is no fun in the morning. Meanwhile, the Imp looks at her longingly when she removes it from the box. Yet she has still not learned her lesson with him. As SOON as he has it, he drops it and starts tearing at the plastic covering. She has to fight to get it back before her morning news is confetti. Yo. We keep things interesting.

So she and the Imp took another Where’s Wojtek photo yesterday. Actually, that’s not correct. They took SEVERAL photos. People have been asking how they do it. I’m here to reveal the secret…

Her Highness sees a spot where the Imp might be able to hide. She takes him there, bribes him to sit or lie down and then tells him to “stay.” She calls it “functional stay” practice. Then she goes and takes several shots. Sometimes if it’s a good location, she’ll move the Imp to another spot. And she repeats the process – sometimes in several spots.The best part is when she comes home and looks at the photos – and SHE can’t find him. She knows he has to be in the picture – she took it. But she takes so many versions, she really has to search for him. So it’s a game for her too. She says I’m too big to hide. Not to mention the fact that “stay” is not a preferred word in my vocabulary. That’s OK. I’d rather stare at the newspaper.

Well, probably almost time to start wrestling the Imp.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.