Carpet Trouble

Hey hey hey it’s me Squirmy get-down Wormy here on this special day! Guess what day it is! It’s Sue’s birthday! Sue who? You know Sue who – the Warden’s sister. And guess what? You give up? She and Keith arrived last night!!! Yup. Now we know why our house is so clean! And why the Warden literally rolled out the carpet for them. Which got yours truly in trouble…

So. The Warden didn’t want me to tell this story, but I said it’s too good not to share it.

You all know about our ongoing carpet battles. The last one was put down … sometime during the height of COVID. And I started to add my own decorating flair to it by giving it a rustic, worn look- by chewing the edges and pulling out random strands. Then the Warden sprayed it with that toxic horse spray stuff and I left the carpet alone. Still – it was looking kinda grotty – so the Warden had bought a new “spare” carpet which was wrapped up and stored in the garage. So since we were getting company, she decided on Tuesday night to roll up the old carpet, and drive it up to the road because garbage day is Wednesday. She sequestered us in the front hall while she moved around the dining room chairs and our rather large dining room table. All with much moaning and groaning. She battled with the carpet, tied it up and dragged it to the car. She drove it to the road (in the rain) and deposited it for pick up. She drove home, dragged the new carpet into the dining room (while we were again sequestered) and moved back the chairs and the table. Now the corners of the carpets were standing up a bit as the carpet had been rolled up for so long, so she put chairs on each corner. And then it was time for bed….

The next morning we all admired the new addition and the Coyote christened it by smushing his morning bed face into the fibers. I raced around it in my usual morning frenzy.

The Warden took each of us for our morning walks as usual. When she was finished, she prepared our breakfast and went to put our bowls on the floor. And that’s when she spotted it. SOMEONE had already started to nibble at a carpet corner. And it literally happened during the morning walks – as we were all in the bedroom all night. I’m thinking whoever it was just wanted to help make those corners go down.

Now the next part of the story is kind of a blur. I think there might have been like some kind of banshee cry and we were all suddenly sequestered in the hall. I recall watching her with a needle and thread, sitting on the floor and grumbling. A lot. Then she sped past us and went in the garage and came out with the toxic horse pepper spray stuff. The instructions say use in a well ventilated area – so she had doors and windows open and fans going and she saturated the corners of the carpet with the stuff. She then decided that she wanted the “repaired” corner on the far side of the room. So you know what that meant? Moving all the chairs and the banquet table all over again. Did I happen to mention this carpet is 9 feet wide and 12 feet long? More moaning and groaning and grumbling.

All through her breakfast she was coughing and sniffling – probably partly from the pepper spray and possibly a tear or two. She doesn’t know exactly WHO the culprit was – but all eyes are on your truly. Mind you, the Coyote used to be a carpet renovator before me. But nobody is talking. And trust me, nobody is touching those corners right now. I did give them a whiff – and that was enough for me…I hope Sue and Keith appreciate that we literally rolled out the carpet for them. Well- the Warden did.

Anyway, today we’ll get to celebrate Sue’s birthday! I hope there’s cake. We are going to have some fun days ahead!! And I promise not to touch the carpet. Not saying I did the other day, but moving forward, I’ll be sure not to do any renovating.

Good thing I’m cute.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.