Escapee

Greetings blog readers. Frodo here for your reading pleasure today.

Well Her Highness has marked another trip around the sun – and she asked that I thank all those who sent her fond birthday wishes. She’s rather amazed at the number of people around the world who sent her kind greetings. I needed to point out that it’s because of US that she is infamous… She agreed that was true. Yes – we canines are at the center of the universe. I’m not quite sure where you humans would be without us. Seeing eye cats? Or bomb detection cats? I think not. Although I am sure there are some cats who would argue that they are too smart to put their lives in danger detecting bombs. Interesting point..

But I digress. Time for a bit of household tattling . And for a change it does not involve a PON. The flight-risk Picard had a little “incident” the other night. Although, truth be told, it was PARTLY my fault.

The time was dusk. And Her Highness was preparing for a pre-arranged phone marathon with a dear friend who lives several time zones away. The appointed phone time was 9:00PM. Therefore at 8:35 she decided it would be a good idea to take each of us canines out for a “quick pee.”

Now this would have likely gone according to plan, had we not JUST been out in the backyard. Barking at SOMETHING. A bunny? A pheasant? A raccoon? The neighbors’ cat? Bigfoot? It didn’t matter because we could not get close to the cause of our barking because of our fence. Her error was in not thinking about this before she opened the front door to take us to pee…

She planned to take each of us one at a time. She put a leash on the Imp, and told me to “wait.” The Coyote was, at this point, lounging on his bed in the dining room. Well. As she opened the door to take the Imp out, he lunged forward, wanting to run around to the back of the house to find whatever it was that we were barking at. As he did so, yours truly bolted past Her Highness and also raced out the door – off leash.

Her Highness, in an effort to hold onto the Imp, and to call me back, walked 10 feet from the front door. And left it open…

The next thing she knew, the Coyote came racing out the door and ran barking around the front of the house to the back. She immediately knew this was NOT good. She dragged the Imp back to the door, while shouting at me and the Coyote to come back. The Coyote came back to the front of the house, took one look at the driveway aka canine speedway, and off he ran.

Her Highness dragged the Imp inside and shouted for me to come in. By this point, I was regrettably recognizing what had happened, so I marched into the house with the Imp.

Meanwhile, Het Highness threw off her flip flops, put on running shoes and grabbed a headlamp. She raced up the driveway shouting “Elroy. Elroy.” As if by some miracle he would suddenly start responding to his name.

She got up to the road and realized cars would be leaving the golf course and restaurant, as it was getting dark. So what to do to avoid your dog being hit by a vehicle? Why walk in the center of the road. So cars will either a. Stop and ask why you are doing so at which point you can ask that they drive SLOWLY or b. You get flattened like a pancake yourself.

As she walked up the road she was shouting his name. She may as well have called “Hubert” because he may have been more interested in seeing who Hubert was.

Suddenly, she saw him coming up a neighbors’ driveway. He saw her, raced toward her, and veered off when he was within 10 feet – running right past her toward the golf course. BUT, as he got close to our driveway, he stopped to sniff something. Her Highness shouted “sit” – and low and behold, he did. Just as the skies opened and a chorus of angels began singing. She slowly approached him using the fake “what a good boy” voice that one uses to stop us dogs from running away, or eating poisonous mushrooms. Basically it’s used to stop any bad behavior.

She walked over slowly, using the fake voice and tossed a lasso over his head like a skilled cowboy. Her heart was pounding in her chest. All the while said escapee was still sniffing where some animal had previously peed.

Miraculously, she was able to regain her breath, in time for her 9:00PM call. So really, no serious harm done. Besides, she could use the exercise. I DID receive a rather disgusted look though, when she returned.

Never a dull moment. Ever.

Well, it’s about time for my morning constitutional. It’s not raining, so it should be brilliant.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

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