Joyous Wednesday greetings . Frodo here. I must share with you that yesterday, there was much happiness and celebration in our abode. The reason? Her highness was able to return to her hair salon – and get her haircut after months without professional service. We are quite thankful as she was beginning to resemble a very large PON. At least her head was. I don’t believe we ever told you her “story” which she shared with her stylist yesterday.

Because her highness keeps her hair rather short, when it grows even the slightest bit – she “feels” the difference. So she usually has it cut probably once per month. So after 6 weeks into the pandemic and self isolation, she became desperate. The Beatnik and I watched as she rather ceremoniously announced that she had “business” in the garage. The garage is where we are groomed so it seemed fitting that her “business” should take place there as well. We watched as she went in – with OUR dog thinning shears in her hand. Yes- desperate times called for desperate measures so she cut her own hair with our scissors. She was actually proud of her first attempt which didn’t look TOO bad. So in a few weeks, we didn’t think much of it when she went in the grooming torture palace again. But this time, because she was reluctant to chop her hair on the back of her head, she emerged with what I believe was once called a mullet. While it may have been fashionable in the 1970s and 1980s, it wasn’t the picture of style in these modern times.

Now we don’t really care what she looks like. We are used to her giant pandemic clothes and her shaggy mane. But I must say, she did look refreshed when she returned from the salon. So we did the happy dance with her.

It’s Wednesday- and it’s garbage day – so time to get moving on our zig zag walk. But first, we’ll watch her highness step on her scale to see if the numbers have gone down now that she got her haircut. I’m not so sure there will be happy dancing after that. Which honestly is fine by me – it just means we get a longer walk!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Yo readers. Elroy here. Happy Monday and Happy Upsy Daisy Day. Yup- that’s the holiday for today. Apparently this auspicious holiday is more than 10 years old. And the reason or tag line for the holiday is: “A day to remind people to get up gloriously, gratefully and gleefully.” The idea is that at least for this day, you should assume everything is going to go your way. And if it doesn’t- get over it. Attitude and gratitude are key elements to starting your day and to facing challenges.

Holy moly – the world sure can use an Upsy Daisy Day right now. Between a pandemics, crimes, accidents, racial prejudice, murder hornets and rioting, it’s pretty easy to wake up in the morning and say “now what?” Yup- you humans sure do know how to make a mess of things sometimes. While we dogs may not always be well behaved (like when we counter surf or chew carpet corners or pillowcases), we generally do not seek to destroy others. But it seems humans do that – a lot. Yeah – they might not try to destroy others physically- but instead they destroy their spirits or their souls. Some humans can be kinda nasty. In fact, some of them should be wearing muzzles.

Humans need to be more grateful. And more happy! Just think how happy we canines get over a pretty tasteless biscuit or an ordinary ball. And look how much we appreciate our humans and how thrilled we are when we are reunited after they return from the bathroom! We don’t wake up cranky. We wake up wagging. Hey – that’s going to be my new motivational saying – Wake up Wagging. The Boss thinks it’s corny – his motto would be more like Never Stop Joyous Barking. Whatever.

Anyway – I sincerely hope that you have a Happy Upsy Daisy Day. May you be kind and wag lots! We have confidence that you CAN do it.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Salutations readers. Frodo here. Reporting from the Far East – of Canada. But not the farthest. That would be Newfoundland.

Just an observation today and yet another wildlife story. One would think that we lived in a zoo. Mind you – our home IS often like a zoo.

First the observation. It’s about the Beatnik. He is truly developing his boof skills. He has always been the quietest dog in the household, but since brother Viktor’s untimely passing, the Beatnik has become quite the watch dog. When he is not boofing at his reflection in the deck door, he is boofing at any unusual noise he hears. And he has good hearing – because he can detect things in the middle of the night that neither I nor her highness can hear. And it is at those times that he lets out his super boof – which is loud. Quite loud. Super boofs in the middle of the night for no seemingly good reason are not always appreciated. Mind you, if a bear was attempting to knock down our front door, a super boof would be quite helpful. It all depends on the occasion.

The other day he let out a series of super boofs when he heard the arrival of a delivery truck. He never used to do that before. I guess he has learned to imitate my Cujo impression where I shout and throw myself against the front door. He hasn’t resorted to the throwing part yet.

Anyway, it was the delivery of some new comfy clothing for her highness – as she will no longer be able to wear her giant pandemic drawstring sweat pants now that temperatures have gone up. We are all ready for a change in her attire. Now she’ll be wearing giant pandemic drawstring shorts. And giant T-shirt’s to hide her not-so-svelte pandemic figure. Frankly, I don’t care what she wears- as long as her shorts have pockets. For treats of course. Anyway, to hear the Beatnik super boof, one might think he was terribly ferocious. It’s all an illusion….

As for wildlife – we have another new creature to add to the menagerie. We didn’t see him – but we heard her highness shouting at him in the garage yesterday. She was yelling “you can’t come in here. Stay away. Noooo. Go away. You can’t come in!” We hadn’t heard a vehicle – so we knew it wasn’t the pizza delivery guy. (No wonder she is sporting that not-so-svelte figure – but who am I to say anything). Nope- no delivery guy. And it wasn’t a June bug. Or a bear. Or a porcupine or bunny. It was a snake. A garter snake. Now garter snakes are harmless – and they do eat insects and rodents. This one would only be able to eat mini rodents because he was small. But he was lounging in the sunshine by the garage door. So when her highness opened the door – there he was. And he had three options.: Come into the garage; stay where he was and become a snake pancake after being squished by the car; or go elsewhere. Her highness got some garden tool and attempted to move him away. He was not impressed. That’s when we heard all the shouting. Her highness finally managed to shoo him into some bushes. As if he won’t be able to find his way back. She spent the rest of the afternoon Googling natural snake repellents. Repellents that are safe for dogs. She found nothing. So if you happen to know of any, please let her know. Otherwise Mr Snake could end up being a pancake after all.

That’s all the latest excitement here. According to the weather guessers, there is a 90% chance of rain today. I won’t be going far on my walk. I plan to produce quick results. Now I just need to convince the Beatnik that he needs to do the same….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Elroy here. All systems alert! Invaders on the property. Time of invasion: any time after the sun has gone down. Location of invasion: anywhere close to a light. Description of invaders: Mutant grape-sized winged creatures wearing hard shelled armor. Alias: June bugs.

First there were black flies. And ticks. And now we have the non-poisonous, benign but pesky June Bugs. If you don’t live in an area with the beetle bugs, Google them for a visual. They are massive. Well massive according to her highness. And they come out at night – and make a buzzing noise as they pound against the screen on the windows in an effort to gain entry to the house. They just want to get close to a light. Then they hit the light source and knock themselves out. Not the smartest beings on the insect intelligence scale.

Her highness despises June bugs. A dear friend once told her the story of getting one stuck in her hair, and that image is a nightmare that her highness can never forget. So at night when we go out for our final pee, we go out in the dark. No hall light left on and no outdoor lights. Her highness would rather encounter a bear than a June bug. Go figure.

But ….we had a bit of a June bug encounter the other night…Her highness was in the DFZ having a Zoom “meeting” with two dear friends. The door to the deck was open – the one with the “dog door” screen. Her highness finished her call and it was dark outside. The lights in the dining room were off- but the lights in the kitchen were on. As her highness walked into the dining room, she heard it. That telltale buzzing sound and screen bumping sound made by a June bug who wanted in. She approached the door without turning on the light, and as she did so, the Boss came in the door – pushing the screen inward – and letting the June bug IN the house. “Aghhhhhhh” she cried as the drunken armed grape flew toward the ceiling. Her highness ran for a newspaper to try and deflect his flight path. But as she grabbed the paper, she lost sight of him. Did he go in the DFZ? Or did he go down the hallway to the BEDROOM? She ran to look for him. Meanwhile, yours truly emerged from the bedroom wondering what all the commotion was about. The Boss just rolled his eyes. One thing for sure, the grape wasn’t bouncing around any lights. They are not hard to miss. So where was he? For probably a half hour, her highness searched for the grape. No sign of him. She kept telling us to find him, but given that we have no formal training in June bug detection, we just stood there. She was afraid to go to bed for fear he was in the bedroom and would somehow seek out her hair while she was sleeping.

Just as she was about to give up her search and considered sleeping with a scarf on her head, she went into the DFZ for her slippers. She happened to glance toward a wall – and noticed the invader crawling on the floor near the pole lamp. But now what? Step on him and listen for the giant crunch? Try to pick him up with a half roll of paper towel ?

She had another idea. She ran for the garage to get a broom as we watched. She raced back to the DFZ and thankfully the grape was still there. She then used the broom to repeatedly trounce the grape. Pieces of broom went flying. And then he was suddenly gone. Like Houdini. She didn’t want to look at the end of the broom for fear he was hiding among the bristles – just waiting to fly out and go straight for her hair. So – she carefully lifted the broom and positioned it straight out and headed for the front door. “Stay clear” she shouted to me and the Boss who were watching with fascination. She walked slowly past us – like a PON in the rain- so as not to dislodge the hidden grape. She slowly opened the front door after her procession from the DFZ and as soon as she was 6 feet from the front door, she bashed the broom to the ground. Out popped the grape. She ran back in the house.

For the next few weeks, the door to the deck will be closed after dark. The Boss will no longer be allowed to bring in any “friends” from outside. I know there are dogs who would be interested in eating them. The crunch could be nice, but actually neither one of us is interested. We’ll stick with non moving biscuits.

Next to look forward to – mosquito season….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

Greetings readers. Frodo here. Because our topic is rather academic today, I am the author. I offered the Beatnik the chance to write this, but he was too busy listening to birds and smelling the wind.

According to the calendar, on this day in 2004, a gentleman by the name of Ken Jennings began a 74 game winning streak on the TV game show Jeopardy. Clearly he is a rather intelligent human. He won millions of dollars playing on a game show. That’s a lot of biscuit money.

So do you think you could be on Jeopardy? I couldn’t because they don’t allow dogs. They should allow us – given all the news lately it’s clear that we canines are MUCH brighter than some two-legged s. But I digress…

If you want to see how you could do on Jeopardy- go to this link. All of the questions are real questions that have been on the show. And all of the questions are about dogs. Of course. Add up all the questions that you answer correctly, and then subtract any answers you might miss – to see your final score. Her highness did not get every answer – but she managed to win $12,300. The person who shares the highest score will win….well not the cash. How about a paw-tographed postcard? That we can do. Let’s see those scores!!!

https://thestacker.com/stories/3121/can-you-answer-these-real-jeopardy-questions-about-dogs

Time for our constitutional. Well- I walk and the Beatnik stops every 50 yards to survey his surroundings. Sometimes we think he would stand in place all day and just “watch” if her highness let him. He needs his own Jeopardy category…Strange Picard Behaviors. I’ll take the category for $1000…

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.