Dangerous sport

Frodo here again. I am writing today about a sport and an online purchase. Neither of which are particularly exciting to me – but since one involves the Beatnik, I was designated as the author for today. More biscuits for working overtime on a weekend.

Many of you have no doubt heard of a rather unusual “sporting event” – the Running of the Bulls which takes place in Pamplona, Spain each year. Like every other event in the world – it is cancelled, of course. Personally, I’m not so sure that this one is a great loss. I mean you set bulls loose in an alley and watch people in some strange attempt to outrun them? On average 50-100 people are injured each year and since they started keeping records in 1910, five people have been killed. Sounds like a great time. Oh – and incidentally, most participants are male. Her highness wanted me to make a further statement about that statistic, but I refused.

Anyway, that sport is dangerous. And we also have a dangerous sport in our household. It’s called the daily Hurling of the Toys. Personally, while I am sure other dogs do this – I think Picards are masters at this sport. So I will refer to the Picard in the description.

After our morning walks, our breakfast, our yoghurt container licking, our blueberries and bananas, her highness tries to eat her breakfast. And that signals the opening of the Hurling of the Toys. Well, it’s either that or a lick fest, but we’ve already talked about that cough-inducing pasttime in a previous blog.

Back to the Hurling. The Picard will begin by bringing a toy to her highness. He pokes her with it in an attempt to get her to throw it. There are then two possible options for the game. A. She can refuse to do so – which means that hurling is initiated. B. She throws it, and he doesn’t retrieve it – but hurling is also initiated. Either way, with or without two-legged participation- the end result is hurling. The first step is to stare at the toy. For at least several seconds. And then, the Picard grabs the toy and hurls it in the air. This is where the dangerous part begins. IF the Picard has selected a rubber toy, the danger is minimized. However, if he cannot find the rubber toy, he will grab the giant sized heavy, dense, Nylabone. The kind that if dropped on one’s toe will precipitate an outpouring of rather crude language. So imagine if that same Nylabone is whipped into the air and hits one on the shin bone. Or worse, if it has had an unusual trajectory and hits one in the head. At least one knows that the Pamplona bulls are coming. In hurling, one is never sure if one is reading the morning paper while eating breakfast.

Hurling toys have also been known to threaten knickknacks. Hurling is NEVER allowed in the DFZ.

Her highness tried to video the Hurling of the Toys after a recent shin bone incident . Unfortunately, Picards are camera shy – especially when playing the game- so in our case, he immediately stops. It’s as if it is some kind of “secret” game. We will try to get footage. Clearly it is a sport unaffected by COVID. I guess because it is played independently. With unwilling spectators.

In other “news” – her highness made another online purchase- so we will be on alert for the delivery man. She has dreamed of this invention for all her life. Well- her life since she became owned by dogs. Clearly it doesn’t take much to excite her. It’s a thing that you put in your washer and dryer that SUPPOSEDLY removes dog hair from clothing, blankets, towels…. The reviews appeared good. All 6 of them. Yes – she knows this will likely not work – but it was under $15 – with free shipping. I wish you could see me rolling my eyes. She could have bought several lint rollers for the same price. I’ll do a product review. When/if it ever arrives. Good thing we love her….

Time for our morning walk. The golf course has finally reopened- so we must arise earlier now. Works for me.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.

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