Talk to me. Or not.

So we had our first snowfall the other night. Just enough to cover the ground, and just enough to form black ice on the driveway. Therefore our morning walks were short and limited to the backyard and the trail to the lake. Her highness announced that if she fell and broke something, we would all be put in foster homes. I think that’s a BIT dramatic. I mean seriously, if she broke a fingernail we’d be looking at new homes?! I think not. Now I know why Einstein is so dramatic.

In the past few days, several people have sent her highness the link to the following story.

https://people.com/pets/dog-learning-to-talk-by-using-a-custom-soundboard-to-speak-im-in-constant-amazement/?utm_source=emailshare&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-share-article&utm_content=20191110

As you can see, it’s about a Speech-Language Pathologist who taught her dog to “talk.” Apparently her dog can hit a number of different buttons to convey a number of messages or feelings. And reportedly, her dog is combining words to form a sentence. Interesting stuff.

So the immediate question – will her highness, as a retired S-LP, start training the canines in this household how to communicate? The answer: no. Absolutely, positively not. Why? Because we already do. For example, Einstein already communicates a host of sentences. Here’s a list of things he already vocalizes- VERY clearly.

Hurry up. Give me my meal. (Which is barked out loudly at EVERY mealtime.)

Lick my head one more time and I’ll kill you. (Said to me or the FG when Einstein is tired of our incessant ear and face licking.)

There’s someone at the door. They are breaking in. (Shouted our when he hears her highness close the shower door as she gets in.)

Hey. I’m bored. (Barked out whenever her highness just gets in the phone).

No. I’m not going. (Clearly communicated when her highness tried to take him in the garage for grooming.)

We don’t need to spend 65 hours setting up a board with buttons that say something. And then another 539 hours training us to hit the buttons. Einstein clearly communicates his messages. And the FG? He may not be vocal – but when he walks away from a treat or food he is clearly saying “Not for me right now thanks.”

One look at my face and you can tell if I’m happy or sad. That goes for all of us.

Her highness said that teaching us to use buttons to communicate would be opening a Pandora’s box. I mean if we use the buttons, we should be rewarded. So if I keep saying “food” or “hungry” does that mean I get fed every time I ask? I think that’s a great idea – but her highness isn’t buying it.

Anyway- good for the S-LP in California. And although her highness has jumped on a number of dog ideas (remember the intelligence test Einstein took?) – she will NOT be putting those buttons on our Christmas list. I’d rather have treats anyway.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up.