I was reading an article the other day about new research that is going on to develop a “pet translator” that will help animals to communicate better with humans. By using artificial intelligence, scientists are learning to translate animal vocalizations and facial expressions to translate what we animals are trying to say. They have done work with monkeys and prairie dogs and they predict that within 10 years they will be able to interpret what dog woofs really mean – like “I want to eat now.” OK. Maybe I’m missing something here – but my human already clearly understands that Einstein is yelling “hurry up with the food bowl – I want to eat NOW” every day. Actually at every meal. She doesn’t need a computer translator to tell her that. No artificial intelligence needed. And the article does say that the new technology won’t exactly allow humans to have actual conversations with us dogs. So while it sounds all exciting and novel, I’m not certain it will reveal a lot more than what a good canine owner already knows. I mean it doesn’t look like we will be carrying on conversations about our deepest thoughts. Just as well. We don’t really need you to know about our plans to take over the world.